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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi ma'am, I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday because he's not fully sure that he'll be able to convince his parents for the marriage. I am a Schedule caste and he's a Brahmin. I don't want to continue because it will make difficult for me to move on afterwards. Neither can I give up on him. He has been crying since last night but I think if he ever loved me he ought to take a stand for me.

Ans: i'm really sorry you're going through this. Breaking up with someone you love is incredibly hard, especially when it's due to societal and familial pressures. Your decision to step back reflects your strong understanding of your needs and boundaries, given the challenges of an inter-caste relationship.

Your boyfriend's distress shows he cares deeply, but it’s also clear that he’s struggling between his love for you and his family's expectations. Love involves making tough choices, and it’s valid to want a partner who can take a stand for you.

Take time to reflect on what you truly want and seek support from those close to you. Consider having an honest conversation with him to gain clarity about your future together. Remember, prioritizing your well-being and values is crucial, even when it means making difficult decisions.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hii Ma'am my boyfriend said our relationship will not be possible because of intercaste relationship and he told me his parents will not agree and my parents too. As I'm from schedule caste family and he is from general, his mother doesn't like me and she wants us to break up our relationship. So my boyfriend had break up with me, what should I do?
Ans: Hello Ms,
sorry to hear that you're going through a challenging situation. Inter-caste relationships can sometimes face societal and familial pressures, which can be difficult to navigate Try to understand the pressures your boyfriend may be facing from his family. Similarly, share your feelings and concerns with him. Empathy and understanding can be crucial in such situations. Consider your own values and priorities in a relationship. It's important to be with someone who respects and supports you despite societal norms. Assess whether you and your boyfriend share common values and are willing to navigate these challenges together.While it's important to fight for love, it's equally important to respect each other's choices. If, despite your efforts, your boyfriend is not willing to continue the relationship, it may be necessary to accept his decision and focus on healing. Remember, it's essential to be in a relationship where both partners feel respected and valued. If your boyfriend is unwilling to reconsider the relationship, it might be important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being in the long run. Take care of yourself emotionally and mentally. Breakups can be tough, and it's crucial to prioritize self-care during this period. Surround yourself with positive influences and engage in activities that bring you joy.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |693 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Sir, am a 28 years old IT employee and my lover is 29 with the same profession. We have informed our love with our parents and we both belong to different castes. As we are different castes, his family is not supporting our love. His mom is very adamant and his entire family is against us. My mom is a government employee and my father retired from the private sector. My sisters were well settled in a good family after their marriage. My sister also does intercaste marriage. The problem is now my lover is not willing to marry me. He was the one who advised me to tell my parents about our love. He was strong till the beginning of August but he got emotionally stuck with his mom. I understand that I can't force him to get married to me but I loved him after all! I don't want to lose our relationship just because of caste and horoscopes. Caste is not in my hand as well as the horoscope. Can you please guide me on this?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are stuck in a very challenging situation, but as you mentioned, you cannot force him to get married. I know it hurts, but you will soon realize that you deserve to be with someone who would prioritize you over caste and horoscope. While it is difficult to convince parents or go against their wishes, it is also important to stand your ground, especially if you are committed to the relationship. His lack of effort to make this relationship work is a little concerning.

Take your time and reflect on the relationship and your partner's efforts. If it seems good enough for you, or you can excuse his inactions, try to communicate with him and ask if he wants to give this one last try. But I would strongly suggest against trying to convince him. You do not need to convince someone to pick you; it should come naturally.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1759 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

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Relationship
Iam 27 years old .me and my boyfriend were in relationship from the last 5 years.he is my childhood class met.during corona time we reconnected through social media .we are from same place .initially we both were good friends later we decided to start our relationship.i belong to low caste.and he belongs to upper caste.in those 5 years we shared our happiness, sorrows together .he was with me in every situation.he helped me emotionally mentally and financially.every thing went well .we planned out future together.later our parents got to know about our relationship.i convinced my parents.but his parents are not accepting our love because of my low caste..i even took my father and brother along with me to talk with his mother . I even begged his mother by touching her feet to accept our love.she told me that she wants to do his sons marriage with a girl who belong to their caste. His parents are telling him that they will leave the home town and go somewhere else if he marries me.my boyfriend is telling me that his parents especially his mothers health will be effected if he marry me and asking me to move on..I asked me that whether he is ok to marry the girls of their parents choice..he told me that he doesn't have any option other than listing to his parents..I'm totally devasted .I'm suffering with anxiety, depression and continuous thoughts ..i want him.he also loves me but he is not daring to marry mee.he is worrying about his parents..how to deal with this situation..pls help mee
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Honestly, drop him...the reason for this must be obvious to you by now. When he is not willing to take a stand for his love, what makes you think he's ever going to support you later in life?
Also, maybe he does not want to or fears going against his family. How can you change that? Surely your love isn't enough to convince him of being with you in this relationship; then what else can?

It's going to be hard to get away from all those feelings BUT you are better off without someone who is unable to take a stand for you. And when it comes to anxiety, practice deep breathing...it does help...If this is getting unbearable, then do seek professional help from someone who can guide you through this break-up and thereafter healing.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 11, 2026Hindi
Money
have lic jeevan saral policy plan 165 from June 2011 for 15 years with life coverage of Rs50000/- . Age at the time of policy 51 and Yearly premium Rs 24260/ Please inform maturity value at June 2026
Ans: I appreciate your patience in holding this policy for many years.
Many people continue such policies without clarity.
You are doing the right thing by seeking understanding now.
This shows maturity and financial awareness.

» Basic Understanding of Your Policy
– You started the policy in June 2011.
– Policy term is 15 years.
– Maturity is due in June 2026.
– Entry age was 51 years.
– Yearly premium is Rs 24,260.
– Life cover is only Rs 50,000.

This policy is insurance plus savings combined.
Such policies focus more on forced savings.
Protection element is very small.

» Total Premium Paid Over Policy Term
– You pay premium for full 15 years.
– Yearly premium remains constant.
– Premium payment ends before maturity.

By maturity, total premium paid will be substantial.
This is important for comparison.

» How Maturity Value Is Decided
– This policy does not give bonus like others.
– It works on a maturity value factor system.
– Maturity value depends on age and term.
– Loyalty additions may be added at maturity.

Returns are pre-declared, not market linked.

» Expected Maturity Value Range
– For your age and premium, returns are modest.
– Such policies generally give low annual growth.
– Growth is closer to traditional savings products.

Based on past experience with similar cases:
– Maturity value is usually between Rs 4.5 lakh to Rs 5.2 lakh.

This is an approximate range.
Exact figure depends on final loyalty addition.

» Why Maturity Value Feels Low
– Large part of premium goes toward costs.
– Mortality charges are high due to entry age.
– Returns are not linked to equity growth.

These factors reduce wealth creation potential.

» Life Cover Assessment
– Life cover is only Rs 50,000.
– This amount is too small today.
– It does not protect family needs.

Insurance objective is not fulfilled properly.

» Investment Assessment
– Policy forces discipline, not growth.
– Returns do not beat long-term inflation.
– Purchasing power reduces over time.

This impacts real wealth.

» Liquidity Aspect
– Money is locked for long term.
– Exit before maturity causes loss.
– Flexibility is limited.

This restricts financial freedom.

» Risk Versus Reward Balance
– Risk is low.
– Reward is also low.
– Long holding period gives limited benefit.

Such balance does not suit wealth creation.

» Tax Aspect at Maturity
– Maturity proceeds are usually tax free.
– This is a positive aspect.
– But tax benefit alone is not enough.

Net outcome still remains weak.

» Emotional Attachment Factor
– Long association builds emotional comfort.
– Familiarity creates false security.
– Numbers should guide decisions.

Money decisions must be practical.

» Opportunity Cost Over 15 Years
– Same premium invested differently grows better.
– Time value of money is lost here.
– Compounding opportunity is underused.

This is the hidden cost.

» Should You Continue Till Maturity
– You are very close to maturity now.
– Only limited premiums remain.
– Exit now may reduce value.

From pure practicality, holding till maturity makes sense.

» What To Do After Maturity
– Do not reinvest maturity money here again.
– Do not buy similar policies.
– Separate insurance and investment clearly.

This improves clarity and control.

» Insurance Requirement Going Forward
– Insurance should be pure protection.
– Cover amount should be meaningful.
– Premium should be affordable.

This protects family properly.

» Investment Requirement Going Forward
– Investments should focus on growth.
– Long-term horizon suits market-linked options.
– Discipline should be maintained separately.

This builds real wealth.

» Why Such Policies Are Not Ideal
– They mix two different objectives.
– They dilute both protection and growth.
– Transparency is low.

Clarity always wins financially.

» Should You Surrender Similar Policies
– Yes, for long-term underperforming policies.
– Especially investment-cum-insurance types.
– Evaluate surrender versus paid-up carefully.

Each policy needs separate review.

» If You Hold Any Other LIC Policies
– Check premium versus life cover ratio.
– Review maturity value realistically.
– Assess opportunity cost honestly.

Do not assume all LIC policies are safe wealth tools.

» Behavioural Lesson From This Policy
– Forced savings feels comfortable.
– Comfort does not equal efficiency.
– Awareness changes future outcomes.

This lesson is valuable.

» 360 Degree View of Your Policy
– Protection is inadequate.
– Returns are low.
– Liquidity is poor.
– Tax benefit is limited advantage.

Overall outcome is average at best.

» Positive Side You Should Acknowledge
– You maintained long-term discipline.
– You honoured commitments regularly.
– You avoided policy lapsation.

This discipline is powerful.

» How To Use This Discipline Better
– Channel it into transparent investments.
– Keep insurance purely for protection.
– Review annually with clarity.

Discipline plus right structure creates wealth.

» Finally
– Expected maturity value is around Rs 4.5 to 5.2 lakh.
– Exact amount will be known near June 2026.
– Holding till maturity is sensible now.
– Avoid repeating similar products later.

You are in a position to improve future outcomes.
This awareness itself is progress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10956 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 10, 2026Hindi
Money
Sir I have Aviva life insurance policy premium payable 10 years,I have already paid 5 years, I want to discontinue, can I and how much surrender value can I get.
Ans: I appreciate that you are taking a clear decision about your Aviva life insurance policy.
You have courage to review and possibly improve your financial choices.
This step shows responsibility and seriousness about money.

» Can You Discontinue / Surrender the Policy
– Yes, most Aviva regular premium life policies allow surrender after some years of premium paid.
– If you have paid at least the minimum required number of premiums, you can get surrender value.
– Most Aviva plans require at least 3 years’ premiums before surrender value applies.
– If you have paid 5 years already, you satisfy this condition in most cases.

So yes, you can discontinue and surrender the policy now.

» What Happens When You Surrender
– When you surrender, the policy stops.
– All life cover, benefits and future bonuses stop immediately.
– You get a surrender value based on premiums paid and the rules of your policy.

» How Much Surrender Value You Might Get
Exact amount depends on your specific policy terms. But typical factors are:

– Insurance companies usually pay a Guaranteed Surrender Value.
– They sometimes also pay a Special Surrender Value if it is higher.
– You get the higher of Guaranteed or Special Surrender Value.

For many Aviva regular premium plans, a typical Guaranteed Surrender Value pattern looks like this:

– After 3 years: about 30%
– After 4 years: about 50%
– After 5 years: about 55%
– After 6 years: about 57.5%
– After 7 years: about 60%
– After 8 years: about 65%
– After 9 years: about 70%
– After 10 years: about 90%
– After full term: 100% of premiums paid

So if you have paid 5 years of premiums:
– You may receive roughly around 50% to 60% of your total paid premiums as surrender value.

The actual number will be based on your exact policy contract.

» Example (Illustrative Only)
If you paid Rs 1,00,000 total premiums by 5 years:
– Surrender value might be roughly between Rs 55,000 and Rs 60,000 under standard terms.

This is not exact for your case.
It is just to help you understand the mechanism.

» Special Surrender Value Component
– In some policies, the insurer may credit a special surrender value.
– This may include some part of bonuses or reserves.
– If it is higher than Guaranteed Surrender Value, you get that instead.
– Special values may change over time with company policy and regulator approval.

» What Documents You Need to Submit
Generally, you need these:
– Surrender discharge form from insurer.
– Original policy
– KYC documents like PAN and Aadhaar.
– Cancelled cheque for bank account.

The insurer will guide you with forms.

» What Happens After You Submit Surrender Request
– Company reviews premium history.
– They compute surrender value.
– They pay you the higher of Guaranteed or Special Surrender Value.
– This amount is paid to your bank account.

» Tax on Surrender Value
– Surrender value of life insurance can be taxable.
– It may be treated as income from other sources in some cases.
– Tax depends on policy type and premium structure.

You should confirm tax treatment before finalising surrender.

» Things to Know Before You Surrender
– You lose life cover immediately.
– You lose future bonuses if any.
– Surrender value is often much lower than premiums paid.
– Early exit penalties apply in many policies.

Surrendering is possible, but cost can be high.

» Why Surrender Value Is Lower
– Insurers recover acquisition costs and commission.
– Early exit penalties apply.
– This structure impacts early-year exits heavily.

Because of these reasons, surrender value feels disappointing.

» Should You Consider Alternatives
Before surrendering fully, consider:
– Paid-up option.
– You stop premiums but keep reduced benefits.

Paid-up may give better value than immediate surrender.

Your exact option depends on policy terms.

» Important to Check in Your Policy
Ask for a written statement showing:
– Guaranteed surrender value as on date.
– Special surrender value, if available.
– Paid-up benefit details.
– Impact on coverage and future benefits.

Always take figures in writing.

» Next Step for You
– Contact Aviva customer service.
– Ask for surrender value quote today.
– Ask for paid-up option quote also.
– Compare both before deciding.

Getting clarity reduces regret later.

Finally, you are free to stop the policy now.
But surrender value will be lower than premiums paid.
Decision should balance loss versus future benefit.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6769 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2026

Career
Sir, I completed my 12th standard from CBSE with PCM in 2025, and I am currently preparing for the COMEDK exam, through which admissions are given to top private engineering colleges in Bangalore. However, my 12th result was not very good because I did not prepare properly. As a result, I got an RT (Repeat in Theory) in Chemistry. In my CBSE marksheet, I am shown as overall pass because I had taken six subjects, due to which Chemistry became an additional subject. As you know, Chemistry is a compulsory subject for engineering colleges, so I appeared for the NIOS On-Demand Improvement Examination for only the Chemistry subject, and I have passed it. Sir, I want to know whether two marksheets from different boards—one being the CBSE marksheet showing overall pass, and the other being the NIOS marksheet for a single-subject improvement in Chemistry—are accepted by top private engineering colleges in Bangalore. Also, will these documents be accepted during COMEDK counselling document verification?
Ans: Yes. Generally, top private engineering colleges and COMEDK counselling accept a CBSE overall pass marksheet along with an NIOS single-subject Chemistry pass marksheet, provided Chemistry is passed, and you meet eligibility. Still, final acceptance depends on COMEDK/college verification rules. However, it is highly recommended that you carefully review the COMDEK brochure. If you have doubts about our clarification or reply, it would be better to visit the administrative office of any top engineering college in person and ask them directly without any hesitation to resolve your problems/doubts across the table instantly. With this, you will be free from stress that you hold in your mind. Now, focus more on COMDEK and try to score more. Best of luck to your bright future.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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