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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi ma'am, I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday because he's not fully sure that he'll be able to convince his parents for the marriage. I am a Schedule caste and he's a Brahmin. I don't want to continue because it will make difficult for me to move on afterwards. Neither can I give up on him. He has been crying since last night but I think if he ever loved me he ought to take a stand for me.

Ans: i'm really sorry you're going through this. Breaking up with someone you love is incredibly hard, especially when it's due to societal and familial pressures. Your decision to step back reflects your strong understanding of your needs and boundaries, given the challenges of an inter-caste relationship.

Your boyfriend's distress shows he cares deeply, but it’s also clear that he’s struggling between his love for you and his family's expectations. Love involves making tough choices, and it’s valid to want a partner who can take a stand for you.

Take time to reflect on what you truly want and seek support from those close to you. Consider having an honest conversation with him to gain clarity about your future together. Remember, prioritizing your well-being and values is crucial, even when it means making difficult decisions.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Hindi
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Hii Ma'am my boyfriend said our relationship will not be possible because of intercaste relationship and he told me his parents will not agree and my parents too. As I'm from schedule caste family and he is from general, his mother doesn't like me and she wants us to break up our relationship. So my boyfriend had break up with me, what should I do?
Ans: Hello Ms,
sorry to hear that you're going through a challenging situation. Inter-caste relationships can sometimes face societal and familial pressures, which can be difficult to navigate Try to understand the pressures your boyfriend may be facing from his family. Similarly, share your feelings and concerns with him. Empathy and understanding can be crucial in such situations. Consider your own values and priorities in a relationship. It's important to be with someone who respects and supports you despite societal norms. Assess whether you and your boyfriend share common values and are willing to navigate these challenges together.While it's important to fight for love, it's equally important to respect each other's choices. If, despite your efforts, your boyfriend is not willing to continue the relationship, it may be necessary to accept his decision and focus on healing. Remember, it's essential to be in a relationship where both partners feel respected and valued. If your boyfriend is unwilling to reconsider the relationship, it might be important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being in the long run. Take care of yourself emotionally and mentally. Breakups can be tough, and it's crucial to prioritize self-care during this period. Surround yourself with positive influences and engage in activities that bring you joy.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |612 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Sir, am a 28 years old IT employee and my lover is 29 with the same profession. We have informed our love with our parents and we both belong to different castes. As we are different castes, his family is not supporting our love. His mom is very adamant and his entire family is against us. My mom is a government employee and my father retired from the private sector. My sisters were well settled in a good family after their marriage. My sister also does intercaste marriage. The problem is now my lover is not willing to marry me. He was the one who advised me to tell my parents about our love. He was strong till the beginning of August but he got emotionally stuck with his mom. I understand that I can't force him to get married to me but I loved him after all! I don't want to lose our relationship just because of caste and horoscopes. Caste is not in my hand as well as the horoscope. Can you please guide me on this?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are stuck in a very challenging situation, but as you mentioned, you cannot force him to get married. I know it hurts, but you will soon realize that you deserve to be with someone who would prioritize you over caste and horoscope. While it is difficult to convince parents or go against their wishes, it is also important to stand your ground, especially if you are committed to the relationship. His lack of effort to make this relationship work is a little concerning.

Take your time and reflect on the relationship and your partner's efforts. If it seems good enough for you, or you can excuse his inactions, try to communicate with him and ask if he wants to give this one last try. But I would strongly suggest against trying to convince him. You do not need to convince someone to pick you; it should come naturally.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

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Iam 27 years old .me and my boyfriend were in relationship from the last 5 years.he is my childhood class met.during corona time we reconnected through social media .we are from same place .initially we both were good friends later we decided to start our relationship.i belong to low caste.and he belongs to upper caste.in those 5 years we shared our happiness, sorrows together .he was with me in every situation.he helped me emotionally mentally and financially.every thing went well .we planned out future together.later our parents got to know about our relationship.i convinced my parents.but his parents are not accepting our love because of my low caste..i even took my father and brother along with me to talk with his mother . I even begged his mother by touching her feet to accept our love.she told me that she wants to do his sons marriage with a girl who belong to their caste. His parents are telling him that they will leave the home town and go somewhere else if he marries me.my boyfriend is telling me that his parents especially his mothers health will be effected if he marry me and asking me to move on..I asked me that whether he is ok to marry the girls of their parents choice..he told me that he doesn't have any option other than listing to his parents..I'm totally devasted .I'm suffering with anxiety, depression and continuous thoughts ..i want him.he also loves me but he is not daring to marry mee.he is worrying about his parents..how to deal with this situation..pls help mee
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Honestly, drop him...the reason for this must be obvious to you by now. When he is not willing to take a stand for his love, what makes you think he's ever going to support you later in life?
Also, maybe he does not want to or fears going against his family. How can you change that? Surely your love isn't enough to convince him of being with you in this relationship; then what else can?

It's going to be hard to get away from all those feelings BUT you are better off without someone who is unable to take a stand for you. And when it comes to anxiety, practice deep breathing...it does help...If this is getting unbearable, then do seek professional help from someone who can guide you through this break-up and thereafter healing.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir, my daughter has got 11790 rank in kcet. Through counseling she can get EEE in BMSCE basavanagudi college and electonics, cybersecurity and information science in Bangalore institute of technology .....can you help by guiding which one to choose ?
Ans: BMS College of Engineering’s Electrical & Electronics programme (NAAC A++ and NBA-accredited) features specialized power-electronics, control-systems and renewable-energy labs, a dedicated Research & Development centre, and 80–90% branch-wise placement consistency over the past three years. However, its KCET closing rank for EEE under the General quota was 5 466 in the final round, making admission unlikely with a rank of 11 790. Bangalore Institute of Technology’s NAAC A+–accredited Electronics & Communication Engineering offers VLSI and embedded-systems labs, Practice School internships and 85% placement consistency, with a KCET cutoff of 9 785 in Round 4. BIT’s IoT & Cybersecurity programme combines sensor-network and blockchain labs, active industry partnerships and 80% placements, closing at 8 628 in Round 4. The Information Science & Engineering stream provides advanced networking and AI labs, 88% placement consistency, and a Round 4 cutoff of 7 092.

Recommendation: Given the rank constraints, recommendation is to choose BIT’s IoT & Cybersecurity specialisation for its cutting-edge infrastructure and strong placement consistency; alternatively, opt for BIT Electronics & Communication if higher intake flexibility is available in early counselling rounds. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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