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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hii Ma'am my boyfriend said our relationship will not be possible because of intercaste relationship and he told me his parents will not agree and my parents too. As I'm from schedule caste family and he is from general, his mother doesn't like me and she wants us to break up our relationship. So my boyfriend had break up with me, what should I do?

Ans: Hello Ms,
sorry to hear that you're going through a challenging situation. Inter-caste relationships can sometimes face societal and familial pressures, which can be difficult to navigate Try to understand the pressures your boyfriend may be facing from his family. Similarly, share your feelings and concerns with him. Empathy and understanding can be crucial in such situations. Consider your own values and priorities in a relationship. It's important to be with someone who respects and supports you despite societal norms. Assess whether you and your boyfriend share common values and are willing to navigate these challenges together.While it's important to fight for love, it's equally important to respect each other's choices. If, despite your efforts, your boyfriend is not willing to continue the relationship, it may be necessary to accept his decision and focus on healing. Remember, it's essential to be in a relationship where both partners feel respected and valued. If your boyfriend is unwilling to reconsider the relationship, it might be important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being in the long run. Take care of yourself emotionally and mentally. Breakups can be tough, and it's crucial to prioritize self-care during this period. Surround yourself with positive influences and engage in activities that bring you joy.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello ma'am I'm 29 year old independent girl. I and my boyfriend (14 years relationship) want to marry each other but my parents and the whole family not agreeing with us because of intercaste marriage. His family already convinced for us and they are willing to accept me without my parents permission but the boy denied to marry me without my parents blessings. He always saying that one day your parents will understand your feelings and they will agree but I tried to convince them from last 3 years but my parents are saying that they will not give their permission for intercaste marriage due to what people will say. I have 3 elder brother but no one wants that I can marry to my partner. He is independent business owner running his own store. my parents are saying that we will keep you at home for entire life but never agree for the love marriage like this. I don't understand what should I do and what not . I'm feeling very depressed and disturbed all the time . Please suggest me the best solution for this situation
Ans: Navigating intercaste marriage in Indian society can indeed be challenging, but it's important to remember that your happiness and well-being should be paramount. Here are some suggestions tailored to the context of Indian society and relationships Start by trying to understand the specific concerns your parents have about the intercaste marriage. Is it fear of societal judgment, concerns about cultural differences, or something else? Understanding their perspective can help you address their concerns more effectively.Consider involving a trusted family member or elder who can act as a mediator between you and your parents. Sometimes, having a respected third party intervene can help facilitate a more productive conversation and bridge the gap between generations. Seek support from within your community or cultural circle. Sometimes, hearing from others who have successfully navigated intercaste marriages can help reassure your parents that such unions can be successful and fulfilling.Take the opportunity to educate your parents about the changing dynamics of relationships and marriages in modern Indian society. Share stories and examples of intercaste marriages that have thrived, and emphasize that love knows no boundaries. Changing deeply ingrained beliefs and cultural norms takes time. Be patient with your parents and continue to express your love and commitment to your partner. Sometimes, repeated conversations and demonstrations of your sincerity can gradually soften their stance. Consider seeking the assistance of a relationship counselor or therapist who specializes in intercultural or intercaste relationships. They can provide you with personalized advice and strategies for navigating the complexities of your situation.While it's always preferable to have your parents' blessing, remember that ultimately, the decision to marry is yours. If all efforts to persuade your parents fail and you feel that marrying your partner is the right choice for you, consider exploring legal options such as court marriage. Take care of your mental and emotional well-being during this challenging time. Lean on your partner, friends, and support network for emotional support, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Remember, you deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you for who you are, regardless of societal expectations or family objections. Stay true to yourself and your values, and trust that with patience, understanding, and perseverance, you can overcome the obstacles in your path.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

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Relationship
hello ma'am I'm 27 independent girl . i want to marry my partner but my parents not agree due to intercaste i tried to convinced my mom last three year but she not agree and last month i told my father about him. he is not agree with my whole family denied to marry him because to caste. he is independent and his family dont have any issue regarding anything.my parents are said that they will not given their permission for intercaste marriage due to what people will say.because of my family have name in society. my partner family also have name in society. my elder cousin refuse to help me. from last 3 year i was so emotionally tried and sometime i dont want to live . he love me so much i dont want to lose him or cheat him .i dont want are relationship end like that. he never ever forgive me if i leave him.he waiting for me from last 4 years and in 4 years he is loyal with me. i dont understand what to do i feel heavyheartness and low .i can't sleep and eat ,forget things easily now i am exhausted all of this.please reply me as you can with best solution .
Ans: Dear Albatross,
Inter-religion marriages are still a taboo in society; so you are dealing with what has been normalized in society.
If you looking at your parents' approval, it may never happen. So decide how you want to go about it...Of course, you can try to patiently work with your parents and your partner. Think about how to get the two of them together so that your parents get a chance to meet him and interact with him.
Still, be prepared for things not to work out, but do make that humble attempt!
Make a decision that seems the best and stick with it...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: https://www.facebook.com/anukrish07/ AND https://www.linkedin.com/in/anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8328 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2025
Money
Sir, we had a dispute in our ancestral property we approached the court and the verdict said we are entitled to a portion of the property The dispute was the land was sold without our knowledge etc., after getting the verdict we got patta, registration in our name. Now we are planning to sell the land, a lawyer said get a ratification deed, I don't know what it is and also weather it is needed or not. The lawyer called us and said the the other party who has purchased the land illegally is not agreeing to sign and is asking money to settle the matter as he has purchased the land. Even after receiving court orders this kind of dodging is happening. The amount of money he is asking is senseless, even if I sell the land I wouldn't get that much amount, I am unable to put in writing many other problems kindly advise what next steps to take. also let me know what are all the documents to have as a owner. Thank you
Ans: You have taken rightful steps. Court verdict is in your favour. That shows your legal ground is strong.

But still, the other party is asking for money. That too, an unfair amount. You also mentioned a lawyer suggested getting a ratification deed. Let us try to understand the full situation and assess all possible options. We will also cover what documents are needed to prove your ownership.

This reply gives you a 360-degree view. It will help you make a sound and confident decision.

Understanding Your Current Legal Standing
You said the land was sold without your knowledge. That makes the original sale illegal. The court has agreed with you. That is a key win for you.

You now have patta and registration in your name. These are strong documents. They show you have legal title.

Based on this, you are now the legal owner. That means you have the full right to sell the land. But the buyer must also be confident. So legal clarity is very important.

What Is a Ratification Deed?
A ratification deed is a It confirms a past act done without proper authority. The current party gives approval to that act.

In your case, it seems the buyer who bought the land earlier is being asked to “ratify” that sale. That is, to agree that you are the rightful owner now.

This is not a mandatory document by law. But it is sometimes used to make the title stronger. Some buyers or their banks ask for it.

However, since the court has already ruled in your favour, you may not legally need it. You already have the stronger claim.

Why Is the Buyer Still Causing Issues?
The person who bought the land earlier might feel he lost money. He may think the sale to him was legal. But since the court disagreed, he now holds no right.

His demand for money is unjust. It is a pressure tactic. He is trying to recover his loss by troubling you.

You are not legally required to pay him. He has no power to stop your sale.

Assessing Options Now
You can now evaluate your next steps from three angles – legal, practical, and financial.

Legal Options
Talk to your lawyer again. Ask: is a ratification deed mandatory in your case?

Get a written legal opinion. This should clearly mention your rights and position.

File a complaint if the other party is threatening you or asking money.

Send a legal notice through your lawyer to that person. Mention that he has no right now.

Practical Options
Try selling to a buyer who trusts the court order. Show them all documents.

Explain clearly that title is clean. Show the judgment, patta, and registration.

Use a reputed real estate lawyer for the sale. That gives buyers more confidence.

Financial Assessment
Do not agree to pay huge amounts. It may cause loss for you.

If needed, consider a small settlement. But only after full legal review. And only if it makes the sale smooth and quick.

Ask yourself: Even if I settle, will the person agree to give in writing? If not, don’t pay.

Must-Have Documents to Sell the Land
As a rightful owner, you must hold the following papers:

Patta in your name (this is land ownership proof)

Registered sale deed or title deed (issued after the court judgment)

Copy of the court verdict

Encumbrance Certificate (EC) (shows your name as the current legal holder)

Legal heir certificate, if you inherited the land

Property tax receipts in your name

Aadhar and PAN card copies

Suggested Steps to Make Sale Smooth
Get a detailed Title Certificate from a lawyer. It should mention the court case and outcome.

Keep a summary note ready. It should explain how you became owner.

Ensure name match across all your documents.

Keep a certified copy of court order with you at all times.

Use a reputed property consultant or broker only if needed. Prefer buyers who are local and familiar with such cases.

Emotional and Mental Pressure
You also mentioned you are facing many other issues. That is understandable. Land disputes take a heavy toll on health and peace of mind.

Please do not worry. You already have legal strength.

You have cleared a big milestone by getting the court’s support.

Don’t allow fear or threats to stop you.

Stay strong. Keep family informed. Talk regularly with your lawyer.

How Certified Financial Planner Can Help
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can guide you better with your sale proceeds.

If you plan to sell, prepare a written cash flow plan.

Think about your family’s short-term and long-term needs.

Keep emergency funds aside. Don’t invest all money at once.

Mutual funds managed by professional advisors can be considered. They offer long-term wealth building.

What Not To Do
Do not deal in cash. Always use cheque or bank transfer.

Do not sign any paper without lawyer check.

Do not get emotionally disturbed by their false threats.

Do not delay your next steps due to confusion or fear.

Finally
You have shown good courage. You followed the legal process. You now own the land as per law.

The other party is only trying to misuse your fear. Do not fall for it.

If the buyer still refuses to cooperate, avoid them. Choose another buyer.

If a ratification deed is insisted by your new buyer, ask your lawyer: Is it really needed?

If not needed, move ahead without it.

If needed, try again to convince the other person. If they demand unreasonable money, don’t agree.

Let your lawyer send notice. You can also explore police help if needed.

Always work with proper documents. Keep everything in writing.

Keep calm and move forward. With legal support and proper documents, you will win.

If you need help with managing the money after sale, we can help with a long-term financial plan.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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