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Inter-Caste Relationship: Seeking Advice for Marriage Approval from Both Families

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |591 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2024Hindi
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Dear mam. Im in relationship about 6 years .my caste is charys bc nd his caste sc. This is major role in my story . Full of tears in my eyes now present searching person for my marriage in my caste. I recently told my parents about love but they said to me forget him. But I can't I want to marry him with my parents nd his parents acceptance only....what can I do. Now

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very sorry to see you standing in such a difficult position. All I can suggest is to try and convince your parents to overlook the caste part and focus on the positives of your relationship like how happy he makes you, how you two are so committed to each other for so long, and other positive aspects of your partner- preferably a strong career and such. That is the only way to change their minds.

Going against a family's wishes can be very difficult. I hope things work out in the end.

Best Wishes.
Asked on - Oct 07, 2024 | Not Answered yet
Really Thank you for suggesting sir ..me nd my love both are willing to do marrige only with my both families acceptance only. But in my family atleast they can't ready to listen my words about this words also only with your acceptance only we can go a head like that. If anything I want to start the matter they only used to talk like don't ruin my prestige in society nd my dad said if you do we are ready to die . But, They didn't know only for my family iam avoided that boy nd I stopped my feelings about him by thinking my parents happiness.but they didn't understand me that what is make me happy I'm really in depressed state know I'm in this position atleast I can't share my thoughts to my family. Atleast no choice to talk about love or marriage I didnt understanding my current situation.i think may be another someone trusted person or anyone can tell to my family about me nd my boy about they can't live happy if you won't accept .if you do marrige to your daughter with another some person she don't live happily she used to cry every day nd sacrifice her whole life only for you. Then May be my family can think about me ..... I know it is really very difficult in my home about castes .. iam really scared what happens to my parents when I reaveal my love matter to them. Iam really full of fear In that situation....

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |213 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2024Hindi
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Hi..I just saw your page and found this is the right page where I can get answer.. I am so confused and so my thoughts coming in my mind and noone in my life which I can tell. However, I found you hopefully you'll get my answer I want to marry with my partner but he is not earning as much and I'm also earning but we both started our career in 2023. And my parents wants I should get Marry with someone and he is searching. But I told my parents that I love someone but the issue is he is not from my caste that is not the big issue main issue is that my partner belongs from very nuclear family like his mother and sister is there and noone is there in his family and my parents also saying the boy is not earning a good salary and noone is there in his family how will you be happy and I don't think so he is good for you.. but my partner loves me so much he loves me till 6 years and he waited for me also. My question is that for getting a married is all this stuff matters ? My parents is arising so many questions somehow she denied..should I convince to my parents or they are saying right ??
Ans: The salary is not a problem, if he doesn’t have misplaced ego about his wife earning more than him; some men are broad-minded enough to even be proud of their wives earning more. Nor is caste; love has no fixed faith. But this nuclear family business is a red flag; I would strictly advice not living under the same roof with his mother and sister. There is bound to be friction. Then relations sour and your marriage gets strained. If he is willing to step out from under their shadow and live separately with you, and the money-making is not an issue for him, you’re making the right choice of partner. If either of the above is not realistic, I would suggest you stop trying to convince your parents and listen to what they have to say.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

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hello ma'am I'm 27 independent girl . i want to marry my partner but my parents not agree due to intercaste i tried to convinced my mom last three year but she not agree and last month i told my father about him. he is not agree with my whole family denied to marry him because to caste. he is independent and his family dont have any issue regarding anything.my parents are said that they will not given their permission for intercaste marriage due to what people will say.because of my family have name in society. my partner family also have name in society. my elder cousin refuse to help me. from last 3 year i was so emotionally tried and sometime i dont want to live . he love me so much i dont want to lose him or cheat him .i dont want are relationship end like that. he never ever forgive me if i leave him.he waiting for me from last 4 years and in 4 years he is loyal with me. i dont understand what to do i feel heavyheartness and low .i can't sleep and eat ,forget things easily now i am exhausted all of this.please reply me as you can with best solution .
Ans: Dear Albatross,
Inter-religion marriages are still a taboo in society; so you are dealing with what has been normalized in society.
If you looking at your parents' approval, it may never happen. So decide how you want to go about it...Of course, you can try to patiently work with your parents and your partner. Think about how to get the two of them together so that your parents get a chance to meet him and interact with him.
Still, be prepared for things not to work out, but do make that humble attempt!
Make a decision that seems the best and stick with it...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: https://www.facebook.com/anukrish07/ AND https://www.linkedin.com/in/anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |597 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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Hi mam, I am in relationship with a guy who is from different caste. It's been three years but his family is not agreeing due to family status and intercaste. My family is ready as I am the eldest daughter of my family and unturned 30 this year. I have no time but he can't marry me without his parents concent. My family is searching a boy for my marriage. I can't marry with another guy. what shall I do to marry him to convince his family or what should he do his monther is so rigid. Please ???? support us what should we do? Two lives will be spoiled bcz of this. The only problem is upper and lower caste.
Ans: Navigating a relationship where cultural norms and family expectations conflict is challenging, but it's crucial to approach it with empathy and patience.
You're deeply committed to your partner despite the pressure from his family due to caste differences. While your family supports your marriage, his family, especially his mother, is firm in their opposition. You're also facing time constraints and societal pressure, making the situation urgent and stressful.
Your partner needs to have ongoing, respectful conversations with his parents, emphasizing your love and commitment. He should explain why you are the right person for him and how you positively impact his life. Understanding and addressing their specific concerns, whether they are about societal judgment or family honor, is crucial.
Sharing personal stories and demonstrating the depth of your bond can help his parents see beyond the caste issue. Highlighting your shared values and how you both support each other can make your relationship more relatable to them.
Seek help from a trusted family member or friend who can mediate and help his parents see the relationship from a new perspective. A respected family elder who has navigated similar challenges can also be influential.
Changing deep-seated beliefs takes time. Your partner should continue to gently and persistently show his parents that his happiness lies with you. Patience will be key as they may need time to adjust to the idea
Engage with support groups or counselors experienced in intercaste relationships. They can provide valuable advice and emotional support.
Discuss potential scenarios if his parents don’t approve. Consider whether options like elopement or giving them time to come around could work for both of you. These conversations should be open and honest to ensure mutual understanding.

Throughout this process, maintain strong communication and support each other emotionally. Navigating these challenges together will strengthen your bond and help you both find a path forward that honors your relationship and family ties.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8541 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 28, 2025

Money
I am 57 and have 1-2 years left for retirement. I have a liquidity of 35 L + which excludes 50 L in FD and 20 L in NCDs besides a equity portfolio of 35 L. A monthly SIP of 8K in equity funds is running. I have my own Health insurance and for family and is adequately covered.Life term plan of 75 L . Since i will be retiring within 2 tears need to balance my portfolio and make best use of the current funds . Pls suggest the bestvway to go about - Thanks Venkat
Ans: Thank you for sharing your complete financial picture.

At age 57, with only 1–2 years left before retirement, it’s wise to fine-tune your investments.

Your discipline and asset-building efforts are appreciable.

Let’s now build a structured approach to manage your portfolio efficiently, before and after retirement.

Below is a 360-degree personalised recommendation, explained simply and in detail.

1. Snapshot of Your Current Position
Age: 57 years

Retirement: Expected in 1–2 years

Term Life Insurance: Rs. 75 lakh cover

Health Insurance: Adequate cover for self and family

SIPs: Ongoing Rs. 8,000 in equity mutual funds

Assets:

Liquid cash: Rs. 35 lakh

Fixed Deposits: Rs. 50 lakh

NCDs: Rs. 20 lakh

Equity investments: Rs. 35 lakh

2. Key Retirement Goals
Ensure monthly income to meet expenses after retirement

Keep liquidity for health, emergencies, and family needs

Protect capital while beating inflation

Simplify asset allocation for peace of mind

3. Asset Allocation Strategy
Now your focus must shift from growth to stability with reasonable returns.

Your portfolio should move to a mix of income-generating and low-volatility assets.

Ideal mix for your profile is:

60% in low-risk debt instruments

30% in moderate-risk hybrid and equity funds

10% in high-liquidity options

4. Safe and Steady Debt Instruments (60%)
Debt gives peace of mind and predictable income.

You already have Rs. 50 lakh in fixed deposits.

But FDs alone are not efficient for income and taxation.

Reallocation is recommended as below:

Use part of the FDs for monthly income options

Use some amount in government-backed savings schemes

Recommended Debt Options
Senior Citizen Saving Schemes (SCSS)

Good safety and high interest payout every 3 months

Limit of Rs. 30 lakh per individual

Ideal for monthly income post-retirement

Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS)

Monthly payout ideal for day-to-day expenses

Maximum Rs. 15 lakh allowed

Capital is safe and locked for 5 years

Short-Term Debt Mutual Funds

Better tax efficiency over time than FDs

Returns are higher than savings accounts

Good for 1–3 years money with easy withdrawal

Distribute Rs. 60–70 lakh among these options for income, capital safety, and tax efficiency.

5. Hybrid and Balanced Growth Funds (30%)
Equity is needed to beat inflation even during retirement.

But pure equity is risky in short term.

You should now reduce equity risk and still keep some growth.

Balanced and multi-asset funds help here.

Recommended Hybrid Fund Types
Balanced Advantage Funds

These change equity and debt ratio based on market

Useful for reducing risk without exiting equities

Multi-Asset Funds

Invests in equity, debt, and gold together

Well-diversified with moderate returns and low volatility

You may move Rs. 25 lakh from pure equity to these hybrid funds.

It’s better to do this in 3–6 months via monthly switch.

6. Emergency and Liquidity (10%)
Emergency money must be accessible immediately without any penalty.

This money should be kept aside even post-retirement.

You should keep around Rs. 7–8 lakh in liquid options.

Best Places to Park Emergency Money
Savings Bank Account – For immediate use

Liquid Mutual Funds – Slightly better return than savings account

Sweep-In FDs – Offers both interest and liquidity flexibility

Don’t invest emergency funds in any risky or long-term options.

7. Monthly Income After Retirement
Once you retire, your monthly expenses must come from investments.

Start a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from hybrid or debt mutual funds.

This is more tax-efficient than FDs.

You can withdraw Rs. 20,000–30,000 monthly depending on need.

Also, use SCSS and POMIS interest payouts as monthly income.

This will reduce the need to touch equity corpus often.

8. Equity Mutual Fund SIP – What to Do
You are running a SIP of Rs. 8,000 per month.

Since retirement is close, you should gradually reduce this SIP.

Redirect the SIP to balanced or hybrid funds instead of pure equity.

It will help in smoother transition and reduce risk.

No need to stop completely now, just change the fund type.

9. Tax Planning Post Retirement
After retirement, your tax slab may reduce.

This will help in planning withdrawals smartly.

Tax Treatment for Your Instruments
FD interest is fully taxable

SCSS and POMIS interest also taxable

Equity mutual funds:

LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%

STCG taxed at 20%

Debt mutual funds taxed as per your slab

Use SWP in mutual funds to reduce tax burden compared to FD interest.

Submit 15H for FDs to avoid TDS if applicable.

Plan withdrawals across different instruments to avoid crossing higher tax slabs.

10. Insurance Review
You have a Rs. 75 lakh term life policy.

Keep this till retirement ends.

No need to buy new life insurance at this stage.

Health insurance is already in place.

You may add a super top-up health cover if you foresee higher medical costs.

It’s cost-effective and gives higher coverage.

Check cashless network and hospital coverage annually.

11. Review of NCD Investments
You hold Rs. 20 lakh in NCDs.

These give good returns but come with some credit risk.

As you near retirement, reduce exposure to high-risk NCDs.

Shift part of this to safer debt mutual funds or government-backed options.

If NCDs are maturing soon, don’t renew into similar high-risk instruments.

12. Rebalancing Pure Equity Holdings
You hold Rs. 35 lakh in equities.

This is a significant part of your portfolio.

You must gradually shift some funds from pure equity to hybrid mutual funds.

Don’t sell all at once – use staggered exit over few months.

It avoids tax spikes and reduces market risk.

Stay away from high-volatility stocks now.

13. Importance of Regular Portfolio Review
Retirement portfolio must be reviewed once a year.

Check asset allocation and rebalance if needed.

Look at each instrument’s return and purpose.

Adjust SWP amount based on actual expenses.

Review health and insurance plans yearly.

Discuss changes with a Certified Financial Planner if uncertain.

14. Estate Planning Guidance
Start preparing a simple will to distribute your assets smoothly.

Mention all account and asset details clearly.

Keep nominations updated in bank, MF, and insurance accounts.

Also inform family members about your investments and access details.

This will save them from hassles later.

15. Final Insights
You are already ahead of many in your preparation.

Your asset base is strong and diversified.

Now, you need to focus on structure and risk-reduction.

Ensure you generate monthly income, keep capital safe, and beat inflation.

Balance comfort and returns with well-divided asset allocation.

Don’t chase high returns now – aim for peace and sustainability.

Use a Certified Financial Planner for detailed and personalised rebalancing.

Make adjustments slowly but steadily.

You will enter retirement with confidence and clarity.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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