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Inter-Caste Relationship: Seeking Advice for Marriage Approval from Both Families

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |557 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2024Hindi
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Dear mam. Im in relationship about 6 years .my caste is charys bc nd his caste sc. This is major role in my story . Full of tears in my eyes now present searching person for my marriage in my caste. I recently told my parents about love but they said to me forget him. But I can't I want to marry him with my parents nd his parents acceptance only....what can I do. Now

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very sorry to see you standing in such a difficult position. All I can suggest is to try and convince your parents to overlook the caste part and focus on the positives of your relationship like how happy he makes you, how you two are so committed to each other for so long, and other positive aspects of your partner- preferably a strong career and such. That is the only way to change their minds.

Going against a family's wishes can be very difficult. I hope things work out in the end.

Best Wishes.
Asked on - Oct 07, 2024 | Not Answered yet
Really Thank you for suggesting sir ..me nd my love both are willing to do marrige only with my both families acceptance only. But in my family atleast they can't ready to listen my words about this words also only with your acceptance only we can go a head like that. If anything I want to start the matter they only used to talk like don't ruin my prestige in society nd my dad said if you do we are ready to die . But, They didn't know only for my family iam avoided that boy nd I stopped my feelings about him by thinking my parents happiness.but they didn't understand me that what is make me happy I'm really in depressed state know I'm in this position atleast I can't share my thoughts to my family. Atleast no choice to talk about love or marriage I didnt understanding my current situation.i think may be another someone trusted person or anyone can tell to my family about me nd my boy about they can't live happy if you won't accept .if you do marrige to your daughter with another some person she don't live happily she used to cry every day nd sacrifice her whole life only for you. Then May be my family can think about me ..... I know it is really very difficult in my home about castes .. iam really scared what happens to my parents when I reaveal my love matter to them. Iam really full of fear In that situation....

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2024Hindi
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Hi..I just saw your page and found this is the right page where I can get answer.. I am so confused and so my thoughts coming in my mind and noone in my life which I can tell. However, I found you hopefully you'll get my answer I want to marry with my partner but he is not earning as much and I'm also earning but we both started our career in 2023. And my parents wants I should get Marry with someone and he is searching. But I told my parents that I love someone but the issue is he is not from my caste that is not the big issue main issue is that my partner belongs from very nuclear family like his mother and sister is there and noone is there in his family and my parents also saying the boy is not earning a good salary and noone is there in his family how will you be happy and I don't think so he is good for you.. but my partner loves me so much he loves me till 6 years and he waited for me also. My question is that for getting a married is all this stuff matters ? My parents is arising so many questions somehow she denied..should I convince to my parents or they are saying right ??
Ans: The salary is not a problem, if he doesn’t have misplaced ego about his wife earning more than him; some men are broad-minded enough to even be proud of their wives earning more. Nor is caste; love has no fixed faith. But this nuclear family business is a red flag; I would strictly advice not living under the same roof with his mother and sister. There is bound to be friction. Then relations sour and your marriage gets strained. If he is willing to step out from under their shadow and live separately with you, and the money-making is not an issue for him, you’re making the right choice of partner. If either of the above is not realistic, I would suggest you stop trying to convince your parents and listen to what they have to say.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1576 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

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hello ma'am I'm 27 independent girl . i want to marry my partner but my parents not agree due to intercaste i tried to convinced my mom last three year but she not agree and last month i told my father about him. he is not agree with my whole family denied to marry him because to caste. he is independent and his family dont have any issue regarding anything.my parents are said that they will not given their permission for intercaste marriage due to what people will say.because of my family have name in society. my partner family also have name in society. my elder cousin refuse to help me. from last 3 year i was so emotionally tried and sometime i dont want to live . he love me so much i dont want to lose him or cheat him .i dont want are relationship end like that. he never ever forgive me if i leave him.he waiting for me from last 4 years and in 4 years he is loyal with me. i dont understand what to do i feel heavyheartness and low .i can't sleep and eat ,forget things easily now i am exhausted all of this.please reply me as you can with best solution .
Ans: Dear Albatross,
Inter-religion marriages are still a taboo in society; so you are dealing with what has been normalized in society.
If you looking at your parents' approval, it may never happen. So decide how you want to go about it...Of course, you can try to patiently work with your parents and your partner. Think about how to get the two of them together so that your parents get a chance to meet him and interact with him.
Still, be prepared for things not to work out, but do make that humble attempt!
Make a decision that seems the best and stick with it...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: https://www.facebook.com/anukrish07/ AND https://www.linkedin.com/in/anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 14, 2024Hindi
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I have been in a relationship with a guy since 10th grade its been 11 years now so we decided to tell our parents his family had no issues and he is currently in canada as a music student he has even started his own event management company but its still just beginning. My parents reacted in a healthy manner but the moment they came to know about inter caste and his financial status( not upto the mark) they had straight forwardly said no with alotbof drama and foul words even. Its been 9 months now im still waiting for them to agree but they are insisting me to move on and go for arrange marriage. I on the other hand belong to business family and has never done any job. But all this while i have cane to know i cant live without my parents or my bf and definitely not get marriaed to someone else. Please help me out what to do!
Ans: First, acknowledge that this situation requires careful navigation. Your relationship has stood the test of time, and clearly, you have strong feelings for your boyfriend, especially given that you've been together for 11 years. His dedication to pursuing his dreams in Canada and building his career in music and event management is admirable, even if his financial situation isn't yet stable. What you need to assess is whether you're willing to stand by him as he grows and whether you share the same vision for the future.

On the other hand, your parents’ concerns seem to stem from their desire for you to have a secure future, especially given your family's business background. They are likely looking for someone who fits into their worldview of stability, and this has led to their reaction when they learned about the inter-caste relationship and your boyfriend’s current financial situation. Their opposition is likely based on their love for you, but the drama and foul words, while hurtful, might reflect their frustration at feeling like they're losing control over your future.

You’ve expressed that you don’t want to lose either your parents or your boyfriend, and that’s where the conflict lies. In this case, the solution isn’t simple, but it can start with communication. It might be helpful to have an open, calm conversation with your parents—not to argue or change their minds immediately, but to help them understand your feelings. Let them know how much you value their opinion, but also explain why you love your boyfriend and why you believe in his potential. Sometimes parents need time to understand that relationships aren't only about caste or financial standing, but also about trust, love, and shared dreams.

At the same time, you might need to have a serious conversation with your boyfriend about your future together, especially given that he's still in the early stages of his career. Be honest about the pressure you're feeling from your family and make sure you're both on the same page about your long-term goals, including how you might handle financial challenges.

It's also important to remember that this decision is yours to make. You are in a unique position, being part of a business family, which means that you've likely been sheltered from certain financial realities. If you do choose to marry your boyfriend, the lifestyle may not immediately match what you’re used to. But if you're confident in his ambition and in the strength of your relationship, then that’s something worth considering as part of your future.

Lastly, while it’s painful to feel like you have to choose between two important parts of your life, it’s possible to work towards a solution that doesn’t leave you with regrets. Give your parents time to see your perspective, but also recognize that their acceptance might take longer than you’d like. In the meantime, staying true to what you value most in life—whether that’s love, security, or family harmony—will guide your decision-making process.

You might also benefit from seeking guidance from a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, who can help you navigate these conversations with both your parents and your boyfriend. This way, you can approach the situation with emotional clarity and respect for everyone involved, including yourself.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8176 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 02, 2025Hindi
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Despite earning a decent salary,I often find myself living from one payday to the next, struggling to save. I don't have significant debts, yet my expenses seem to absorb my entire income. What practical steps can I take to break this cycle and start building financial stability?
Ans: Many people face the challenge of earning a decent salary yet struggling to save. If your expenses absorb your entire income, it’s time to take control of your finances with a structured approach. Here’s how you can break the cycle and start building financial stability.

1. Track and Analyse Your Expenses
Identify spending leaks by tracking all expenses for a month.

Use spending tracker apps or a simple notebook to record daily expenses.

Categorise expenses into essentials (rent, food, utilities) and non-essentials (shopping, entertainment, eating out).

Spot unnecessary expenditures and set limits on avoidable expenses.

2. Set a Realistic Budget
Follow the 50-30-20 rule:

50% for needs (housing, bills, groceries).

30% for wants (shopping, entertainment, travel).

20% for savings and investments.

If savings seem difficult, reverse budgeting may work better. Allocate savings first, then spend what remains.

Automate bill payments to avoid late fees and unnecessary penalties.

3. Build an Emergency Fund
Set aside at least 6 months’ worth of expenses in a liquid fund.

Use a separate savings account for emergency funds to avoid spending it impulsively.

Automate transfers to this fund to ensure consistency.

4. Prioritise Saving Over Spending
Start small with savings if your expenses are tight. Even Rs 1,000 per month creates a saving habit.

Use automatic deductions to ensure savings before spending.

Increase savings percentage whenever you get a salary hike or bonus.

5. Cut Down on Unnecessary Expenses
Identify subscriptions you don’t use (streaming services, gym memberships).

Reduce frequent dining out and start cooking at home.

Choose budget-friendly alternatives for entertainment, shopping, and travel.

Negotiate for lower bills on rent, internet, and insurance.

6. Start Investing Wisely
Keep money working for you through investments rather than letting it sit idle.

Consider mutual funds through SIPs to build wealth over time.

Avoid investment-cum-insurance policies. Instead, opt for a separate term insurance and investments.

Invest in a mix of debt and equity based on your risk appetite.

7. Avoid Lifestyle Inflation
Salary hikes should increase savings, not expenses.

Maintain your current lifestyle and direct additional income towards savings.

Differentiate between needs and wants before making big purchases.

8. Plan for Future Goals
Define short-term and long-term goals (buying a home, early retirement, travel).

Assign a dedicated investment for each goal.

Adjust spending habits to align with your bigger financial vision.

9. Monitor and Adjust Regularly
Review your budget every 3-6 months to adjust based on changes in income or expenses.

Keep track of financial progress and celebrate small wins to stay motivated.

If needed, seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) like us for a customised financial strategy.

Final Thoughts
Breaking the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle requires discipline and consistency. By tracking expenses, budgeting wisely, saving first, and investing smartly, you can achieve financial stability and long-term wealth creation. Taking small but steady steps will lead to financial freedom in the long run.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2248 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 02, 2025Hindi
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Money
I have been investing in shares for several years and have seen good returns, but with increasing market volatility, I'm considering diversifying into international stocks or alternative assets. What are the potential benefits and risks of each approach?
Ans: Diversifying into international stocks and alternative assets can be a strategic move, especially given your experience in financial analysis and investment planning. Here’s a breakdown of the benefits and risks of each approach:
International Stocks
Benefits are as follows:
- Diversification – Investing globally reduces dependence on domestic market conditions and spreads risk
- Access to High-Growth Markets – Some international markets, particularly emerging economies, may offer higher growth potential.
- Currency Appreciation – If the foreign currency strengthens against the INR, your returns could increase.
- Exposure to Leading Industries – Developed markets like the U.S. provide access to top tech, healthcare, and finance companies.

Risks involved in international markets are as follows:
- Currency Fluctuations – Exchange rate volatility can impact returns.
- Political & Economic Risks – Foreign regulations, trade policies, and economic instability can affect investments.
- Higher Transaction Costs – International investing often involves additional fees and taxes.
- Limited Information Access – Researching foreign companies may be more challenging compared to domestic firms.

Alternative Assets (Real Estate, Commodities, Private Equity, etc.)
Following are the benefits:
- Low Correlation with Stock Markets – Alternative assets often move independently of traditional markets, helping mitigate volatility.
- Inflation Hedge – Real assets like gold and real estate tend to retain value during inflationary periods.
- Potential for High Returns – Private equity and hedge funds can offer substantial gains if managed well.
- Portfolio Customization – Some alternative investments allow direct control, such as real estate or private businesses.

Risks involved are as follows:
- Illiquidity – Many alternative assets, such as private equity and real estate, are not easily sold.
- Complexity – These investments often require specialized knowledge and due diligence.
- Higher Fees – Alternative investments may have higher management costs and entry barriers.
- Market Uncertainty – Some assets, like cryptocurrencies, can be highly volatile.

Given your methodical approach to financial planning, you might find international ETFs a convenient way to gain global exposure while managing risk. Similarly, REITs or commodity funds could be a structured way to enter alternative assets without direct ownership complexities.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8176 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2025

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Money
I'm now 68 years old. Living with my wife. I have 2 daughters. Both are well settled. I don't have any liability. I'm a pension holder. I'm getting Rs 75,000/- pension pm. I have invested Rs1,50,00,000 in FD. 7lakhs in Mutual funds, 6,50,000 in equity. 12 Lakhs in Sovereign Gold Bond, I'm getting Rs 35,000/- House rent pm. I have 25 lakhs Cash in hand. I want to deposit the above amount. How can I diversified the above amount to deposit?
Ans: Your financial position is strong. You have a steady pension and rental income. Your investments are diversified across FDs, mutual funds, equity, and gold bonds. Let’s allocate your Rs. 25L wisely.

Emergency Fund Allocation
Keep Rs. 5L in a high-interest savings account.

Use a liquid mutual fund for another Rs. 3L for easy access.

This ensures quick access to funds in case of unexpected expenses.

Debt Investment for Stability
Invest Rs. 7L in a mix of short-term and medium-term debt mutual funds.

These offer better post-tax returns than FDs.

Choose high-quality funds with stable performance.

Equity Investment for Growth
Allocate Rs. 5L to large-cap mutual funds via SIP.

This ensures gradual market participation and reduces risk.

Avoid direct stocks for this amount, as mutual funds offer better risk management.

Gold Investment for Inflation Hedge
You already have Rs. 12L in Sovereign Gold Bonds.

No additional gold investment is needed.

Regular Income Investment
Invest Rs. 5L in SWP-based mutual funds for periodic withdrawals.

This provides additional income while keeping capital appreciation intact.

Final Insights
Your current portfolio is well-structured. This allocation balances liquidity, stability, and growth. Your pension and rental income provide financial security. Diversifying your Rs. 25L ensures better returns while maintaining risk control.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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