Hi mam...i m feeling peer pressure that all my knowns are getting married to working partners but I m getting marriage proposals from non working partners! What should I do?

Ans:

You handle this by not caving in to pressure and living life on your own terms.

I wouldn't go about pretending, but I certainly would stand my ground if I were you.

What's the big deal if you get married at 32 or 33 instead of 30? It's just a number at the end of the day.

Rather than deception, choose determination. And your parents really need to cool it with the forcing business! It's your life and you should get a say in when you marry.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address your concerns:
1. "I want to get married or I'll end up alone.": This is not a reason to get married and you know that. Get married to build a team, a family together where you help each other grow. Incidentally, you also have a companion and lonely days instead become days filled with happy cheer and sometimes challenges as well. So, change your mindset while looking for prospects for marriage so that when you are in conversation with someone who is a match, you don't come across needy but instead focus on how the two of you grow together.
Your fear is right now pulling you into marriage rather than for more positive reasons.

2. Pressure from relatives and peers: Is it their life that you are leading? NO! Then stop focusing on what they tell you and focus on how you can make the best use of matrimonial sites or dating apps (if you choose that). Also, request your friends to set you up with someone that they might know since they know you well.

You can also join groups and communities online (beware of scams and scamsters here) where you might find like-minded people to meet and interact with. Being part of some hobby class or adventure camps may also allow for similar meeting points where you can hit it off with people who hold similar interests as yours.

Lastly, don't give up...when the time is right, it is...So, don't lose hope BUT certainly lose your current fearful mindset and embrace a mindset that is joyful and cheerful and selfless.

All the best!

Ans: it seems its bothering your parents and not you......explain to your parents that you are doing great - this will help them come out of their sadness.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I agree, it is a peculiar problem. I am sure you have told them that you are already engaged to be married to another woman. All I can suggest is to continue reminding them the same every time they propose an alliance. Maybe your parents can help out and make them understand in slightly strict words that you are not interested in the alliance and are already engaged. I am not sure what else you can do here in this situation. You can try ignoring them and focus on what's important. That's all.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
So, the younger chap had his fun and now when you look for emotional support, he talks of no future together.
What does this tell you? Should you allow yourself to be a part of the push and pull drama? Also, without a closure from your marriage, this is just going to be an off-on relationship. It's time you acknowledge that you are more into this than he is...
Safeguard your mind now by drawing lines where necessary...
As far as meeting at the workplace, you will now face resistance from him, he might even fail to acknowledge your presence...And this will hurt; that's why I suggested it's more than a heartbreak, a mind game...Become your own best friend and do the right think for yourself!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/