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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 28, 2021

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Jasmine Question by Jasmine on Oct 28, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Love Guru,
My friend's boyfriend is hitting on me.
He sexts me and calls and when I meet him with my friend, he behaves very odd.
My friend is very much in love with him and I don’t have the heart to tell her.
The BF is very creepy and I don’t want to deal with him.
What can I do? She needs to know that he is the wrong guy.
Regards,
Jasmine

Ans:

So Jasmine, if you won't tell her and I can't tell her, who will tell her?!

You need to let your friend know about this creep and you need to do it asap. Who knows, the weirdo could well twist things around to say you're the one pursuing him if things don't work out the way he wants them to?

Not to mention that your friend deserves better. Tell her the truth and show her the messages if need be -- don't let down her trust in you.

I just hope she has the wherewithal to dump his sorry ass and doesn't give him another chance, because people with such loose morals seldom change.

 

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my Friend is in touch with a girl since last 13 years, she is 12 years younger to him. They met at common friend's place and my friend start loving her. At the time of their meeting, my friend was married and she was unmarried, but was in relationship with another guy. after sometime, girl got married with his boyfriend with the help of my friend only. he got hurt but somehow helped her in getting married with the boy of her choice after some time the girl got divorced and my friend provided her emotional support she require to recover from this setback. over the period, she start demanding lot of stuff from my friend, like phones, watches, clothes, gold etc. even she call him, if want to eats anything from outside. but other hand she ignoring him, when she is with her friends and start behaving like stranger and gives reasons like, you are too old for her company, what her friend think of her etc. my friend is attached emotionally with her very much and dancing on her tunes. my friends shares everything with me and i know, he would go mad, if she even stop talkin with him. many a times, i tried to discuss this with my friend, but he is in total control of her. he told me, i would continue to help her, so she would keep talking with him. they never got physical. Even i had discussed this with girl, why you are doing such thing with my friend, every time she reply, she demanding such things with capacity of his friend. he (my friend) can deny, if he doesn't want to help me, i have lot of choices. she is also working and earning fairly. now i am in dilemma, how to help my friend.
Ans: Have you heard the saying, you can walk a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink? Your friend knows he is being taken advantage of — but he chooses to continue in the same vein. You can try to stage an intervention where several of his loved ones come together, sit him down and explain that this toxic woman should be cut our of his life and why. But ultimately, unless he decides to smarten up, no one can help him.

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