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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 28, 2021

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Jasmine Question by Jasmine on Oct 28, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Love Guru,
My friend's boyfriend is hitting on me.
He sexts me and calls and when I meet him with my friend, he behaves very odd.
My friend is very much in love with him and I don’t have the heart to tell her.
The BF is very creepy and I don’t want to deal with him.
What can I do? She needs to know that he is the wrong guy.
Regards,
Jasmine

Ans:

So Jasmine, if you won't tell her and I can't tell her, who will tell her?!

You need to let your friend know about this creep and you need to do it asap. Who knows, the weirdo could well twist things around to say you're the one pursuing him if things don't work out the way he wants them to?

Not to mention that your friend deserves better. Tell her the truth and show her the messages if need be -- don't let down her trust in you.

I just hope she has the wherewithal to dump his sorry ass and doesn't give him another chance, because people with such loose morals seldom change.

 

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my Friend is in touch with a girl since last 13 years, she is 12 years younger to him. They met at common friend's place and my friend start loving her. At the time of their meeting, my friend was married and she was unmarried, but was in relationship with another guy. after sometime, girl got married with his boyfriend with the help of my friend only. he got hurt but somehow helped her in getting married with the boy of her choice after some time the girl got divorced and my friend provided her emotional support she require to recover from this setback. over the period, she start demanding lot of stuff from my friend, like phones, watches, clothes, gold etc. even she call him, if want to eats anything from outside. but other hand she ignoring him, when she is with her friends and start behaving like stranger and gives reasons like, you are too old for her company, what her friend think of her etc. my friend is attached emotionally with her very much and dancing on her tunes. my friends shares everything with me and i know, he would go mad, if she even stop talkin with him. many a times, i tried to discuss this with my friend, but he is in total control of her. he told me, i would continue to help her, so she would keep talking with him. they never got physical. Even i had discussed this with girl, why you are doing such thing with my friend, every time she reply, she demanding such things with capacity of his friend. he (my friend) can deny, if he doesn't want to help me, i have lot of choices. she is also working and earning fairly. now i am in dilemma, how to help my friend.
Ans: Have you heard the saying, you can walk a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink? Your friend knows he is being taken advantage of — but he chooses to continue in the same vein. You can try to stage an intervention where several of his loved ones come together, sit him down and explain that this toxic woman should be cut our of his life and why. But ultimately, unless he decides to smarten up, no one can help him.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2024Hindi
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My friend is in a foreign country for work. She has gone there with the support of a man who helped her getting the job. He's harassing her sexually. She has been keeping her distance and warned him. She cannot take any action as her work future depends on him. She's alone there and doesnt know what to do. Help me with the answer
Ans: encourage her to document every incident meticulously. Keeping a detailed record will be crucial if she decides to take any action later. She should also reach out to trusted colleagues or friends for support, even if they are back home. Sometimes just knowing someone is aware of her situation can be comforting.

Additionally, it's important for her to explore any available resources within her company or local community. Many organizations have HR departments or designated individuals to handle such complaints confidentially. If that's not an option, she might find support through local women's shelters, expatriate communities, or even online forums where she can connect with others who might have faced similar situations.

Encourage her to prioritize her safety. If she feels threatened or in immediate danger, seeking help from local authorities or emergency services is crucial. Her well-being is more important than any job.

Finally, she should be reminded that she's not alone and that there are people who care about her and are willing to help. It might be beneficial for her to seek professional counseling to help her cope with the emotional toll of this experience.

Your support and encouragement can make a significant difference for her during this difficult time.

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MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jul 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2025Hindi
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I have got CS core in VIT Vellore. I know many VITians who are doing much better professionally than some of their IIT/NIT counterparts. VIT CS labs are very advanced, I have heard. Many 98+percentilers in JEE Mains are in VIT CS. Placements are good. Despite this why is there a general notion that if an institute is private (barring BITS) it's not as good as a govt. institute.
Ans: Hello dear.
You're right to question the common perception, and your insights about VIT Vellore’s CS program are grounded in reality. The Computer Science department at VIT Vellore is among the strongest in private engineering colleges, with advanced lab facilities. Many top JEE Main percentilers (even above 98) choose VIT. Several VITians have gone on to have excellent careers, sometimes even outperforming their IIT/NIT counterparts largely because of their individual initiative, internships, and skill-building. IT, especially if they narrowly miss out on NITs or prefer the modern infrastructure and course flexibility that VIT offers.
Despite these strengths, private colleges in India often face bias. This stems from the legacy and prestige of government institutions like IITs/NITs, which admit students through highly competitive exams and are seen as more merit-driven. In contrast, private colleges are sometimes viewed as less rigorous or overly reliant on high fees and donations, leading to skepticism about their quality.
However, this perception is slowly changing, especially in CS and tech fields where practical skills matter more than college branding. For motivated students, VIT CS offers a strong foundation and the opportunity to build a successful career. Ultimately, outcomes depend more on individual effort than the institution’s name.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

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