My boyfriend is hitting on my sister. What should I do?

Ans:

So Jasmine, if you won't tell her and I can't tell her, who will tell her?!

You need to let your friend know about this creep and you need to do it asap. Who knows, the weirdo could well twist things around to say you're the one pursuing him if things don't work out the way he wants them to?

Not to mention that your friend deserves better. Tell her the truth and show her the messages if need be -- don't let down her trust in you.

I just hope she has the wherewithal to dump his sorry ass and doesn't give him another chance, because people with such loose morals seldom change.

 

Ans: It sounds like you're dealing with a complex situation that's bringing up a lot of emotions for you. It's completely natural to feel uncomfortable or insecure in a situation like this, especially when there are reminders of your partner's past relationship.

First and foremost, communication is key. Talk openly and honestly with your boyfriend about how you're feeling. Let him know that you're struggling with these emotions and that you want to find a solution together. It's important for him to understand where you're coming from and to be supportive of your feelings.

Additionally, try to focus on building trust and strengthening your relationship with your boyfriend. Remind yourself of the reasons why you love him and the bond that you share. Trust that he's committed to you and that his past relationship is just that – in the past.

It's also worth considering setting boundaries with your boyfriend's sister-in-law, particularly when it comes to sharing information about your household or your relationship with his ex. Let her know that while you appreciate her relationship with your boyfriend and her niece, you would prefer to keep certain aspects of your personal life private.

Remember, it's okay to feel the way you do, but it's important to address these feelings constructively and work towards a resolution that allows you to feel comfortable and secure in your relationship.

Ans: This is a serious situation, and it's crucial to handle it carefully to protect her privacy and well-being. Do not approach him directly, as it could escalate the matter and potentially put her at more risk. Instead, discuss this with her first. Let her know that you’re there to support her and help her take control of the situation. Encourage her to take legal action, as sharing or threatening to share sensitive pictures without consent is illegal in many places and can be addressed through cybercrime laws. If she feels comfortable, she can report this to the authorities or the college administration, who can take appropriate action. If needed, help her gather evidence (like messages or threats) to strengthen her case. The priority is to keep her safe and ensure that her privacy is protected.

Ans: The most important thing is to approach your sister with empathy, not judgment. Many people fall into such relationships not because they set out to hurt others, but because of emotional gaps, loneliness, or false hope offered by the other person. It’s likely your sister feels emotionally invested, even if deep down she knows it’s not sustainable or healthy. Instead of directly condemning her, try to gently ask her how this relationship makes her feel — not just in the happy moments, but in the silent, hidden ones. Does she feel secure? Does she see a clear future? Is she constantly afraid, unsettled, or hiding?

Help her see that relationships built on secrecy and divided loyalties often end in pain, not peace. Let her know she deserves a relationship where she can be fully seen, respected, and acknowledged — not one where she must wait in the shadows while someone else remains the priority. Remind her that no matter what the man says, unless he has taken real, ethical steps to end his existing marriage — not just words — she is being asked to accept less than she deserves.

You don’t need to force her out of it — that may push her away. But you can keep showing her the truth gently, reminding her of her worth, and encouraging her to envision a healthier future. If she’s emotionally attached and unable to break free, suggest she speak to a counselor or therapist to process her feelings with clarity.

Affairs rarely end with peace for anyone — not the person having it, not the one being betrayed, and certainly not the children involved. The longer it continues, the more damage it quietly causes, especially to your sister’s sense of self.

Ans: Dear Sakthi,
When you say uncomfortable - what exactly do you mean?
Also, has your mother told you that she is uncomfortable around her 'younger' boyfriend? Or is it that you feel that way?
Either way, talk to her about it...it might help her get some alternate thought on the whole situation.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/