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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 24, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Chandan Question by Chandan on Mar 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

how to deal with breakup?

Ans: Dear Chandan,
Breakups can be heart wrenching for sure.
Initially, it may seem difficult to tide over and imagine a life without the person that you have been in a relationship with. But the breakup has happened for a reason. Appreciate the reason as something that is in favour of both of you.
Move on wishing the other person well; it's hard if you carry sadness or bitterness!
Think of the good times as something that made your world better when things were good!
Stop stalking them on social media; it makes your sadness only grow!
Involve yourself with your friends the way you used to before you were in a relationship!
Get back to any hobby that you might have dropped due to lack of time!
Lastly, wake up everyday knowing that the world is beautiful and good things are about to happen for you!

Best wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 16, 2022

Relationship
Dear Mam I am 22 years old and today I want to share my story of heart break and I really want to know what I can I do better to make myself happy. I started dating this a guy in 2017 and I was madly in love with him. Everything for me was about him. Since I was living in a hostel I used to feel alone sometimes. Initially our relationship was normal. Then one day I went for a trip with him and we got physical for the first time. Somehow, I got attached to him more after that. I started calling him to my hostel to spend time with me. Meanwhile I faced some personal problems in my life. Those days were really bad and I used to suffer a lot. He was there for me always. He never made me feel alone in the city. I used to go to my family every year and then lockdown happened. I was stuck in my hometown. I had a fight with him and I just cut the call. From that day onwards his behaviour towards me changed.The very next day he went out with another girl and posted pictures. I was hurt. I didn't know what to say, I was in self-doubt mode but his behaviour started changing towards me.In the beginning, he said when you will come back I cannot come and stay with you. I agreed to it. Then he said I cannot meet you every weekend cause I want to make other plans as well. Slowly I understood that he wants me to stay away from his life. He went for a party with the girl late in the night and that triggered me very badly. I fought with him. I guess that was the moment he was waiting for. He said that he doesn't want me anymore and broke up. I kept begging him not to leave me but it seemed like he was dying to leave me. I was completely shattered. On 15th January he left me. Even after leaving he continued texting me. I was trying my best to control my feelings and I tried giving him the space he deserved. Still he kept texting me. He was not able to stay away from me. My vacation got over and it was my time to go back. This was the most difficult part coz this time I knew that he won't be there for me, and I have to survive alone. Once while coming back from my home town to my work town I texted him. He said that he is with the girl and he is drunk. I couldn’t sleep that night. I was shivering. I was broken. When I entered the city I was shivering cause I was not ready for the consequences. I didn't meet him because he went for a trip with that girl and got physical with her. He always maintained that it’s only after he left me that he got involved with someone else. He wanted me to be a part of his life somehow so he kept calling and texting me. Even when he was with the girl he used to come to my house every Saturday and go on dates with that girl on Sundays. I really didn't understand what was he up to. Meanwhile I went through her profile and came to know that she’s a little suspicious. One day I got the opportunity to tell him about it. He said come and meet me. He was drunk and we got physical. That time I checked his phone and saw the messages he’d shared with her. I was broken again but this time I texted her through his phone to please take care of him. That girl got angry and made things worse. Instead of making sure that he is alright she locked horns with him. He blamed me for losing her. I told him that my existence in your life is not good. Let's just not talk to each other. Next day he again texted me requesting to meet. In the evening when I went to meet him he was a completely changed person. He treated me very well, gave me his phone and made me feel special. Somehow he came back to me and started giving me the importance I was craving for. Today he is with me and pampers me. He has stopped doing certain things which he used to do but I get the importance.Despite all this, I am a bit insecure and scared because of what I have gone through in the past. Can you please tell me what to do?
Ans:

Dear SR,

Read this sentence that you have written:

“Even when he was with the girl he used to come to my house every Saturday and go on dates with that girl on Sundays.”

Do you not feel used and powerless?

How are you able to allow someone to treat you in such a disrespectful manner?

Did the two of decide to become friends and support one another in your respective relationships, like the way you stood by and watched him date this other girl while he walked into your life seeking approval?

Open your eyes please. The other girl is no longer in his life and he wails and comes back to you and now you are wondering what you should be doing?

If this was your sister or a best friend going through the same thing, will you tell them to put up with this toxic behaviour or will you ask them to take charge of their lives?

Will you tell them to love themselves more and reclaim their power or wait meekly to pick up scraps as and when the guy threw them around?

Stand up for yourself girl; at least he will think before trying this game with another girl.

Do the right thing by just being YOU and loving yourself more.

All the best!

..Read more

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Relationship
How to get over him
Ans: Dear Snigdha

Getting over someone can be challenging, but sometimes it can help to think outside the box and try new things to help move on.


Write a letter to yourself: Write a letter to yourself, as if you were writing to a close friend, offering words of encouragement and advice. This can help you gain perspective and remind yourself of your own strengths and resilience.
Create a breakup playlist: Make a playlist of songs that help you feel empowered, uplifted, and motivated. Listen to it whenever you need a boost of energy or inspiration.
Try a new hobby: Engage in a new activity that you’ve always wanted to try, such as painting, photography, or rock climbing. This can help you focus your energy on something positive and give you a sense of accomplishment.
Get a makeover: Try a new hairstyle or experiment with a different fashion style. Changing your physical appearance can help boost your confidence and make you feel more positive about yourself.
Volunteer: Engage in volunteer work or community service. Helping others can be a great way to gain perspective, connect with others, and feel good about yourself.
Create a vision board: Create a vision board with images and quotes that inspire you and reflect your goals and aspirations. This can help you stay focused on your own growth and development, rather than dwelling on the past.
Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Practice self-care and engage in activities that make you feel good.
Seek professional help: If you're having difficulty moving on, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with tools and techniques to help you cope with your emotions and move forward.

Remember that getting over someone takes time, and there is no one “right” way to do it. Be kind to yourself, try new things, and keep moving forward.

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I am ready to stand against my parents for the boy I love, but he isn’t willing to stand up to his family. We are both Hindus but our customs, language and rituals are very different from each other. Since the time we started dating, I have tried to give up on my choices for the sake of our happiness. He proposed to me last year after dating for 12 years. I said yes. Now he wants me to convince his parents. He is 29, the eldest son of the family but he feels his parents will not agree for our marriage. His entire family is against us. His mother won't even look at me, forget sit down and talk. I told him we'll have a court marriage and live separate but he wants me to convince his family. If he doesn't take responsibility now, how can I expect him to stand up for me in the future?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you serious? He happily got into a relationship with you BUT now wants to hide when it's time to talk to his parents.
He's 29 and as a mature adult you must learn to understand that until marriage it's his responsibility to not just talk to his parents but also find a way to make you and his parents meet.
Instead, he chooses to hide or he's scared? Do push him gently into his responsibilities and if you catch him delaying talking to his parents, then understand that he has a personality that avoids conflicts especially with his parents. Do imagine what it can be for you once you are married into that house.
Have an honest chat with him; love is not always roses and candles...straight and honest talk is always better before taking that big step.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |524 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Money
sir, I am 28 year old Engineer working in IT field for 6 years. Recently married and my wife is also working in a IT Company. I have started investment in MF since my first salary and at present total the corpus is 15 L and my present SIP amount is 60K. In addition I am having 6L in PPF, 8L in Bank FD, 15L PLI and 5L Health Policy. My parents are well settled. My portfolio is as given below. 1. ICICI Prud. NASDAQ - 3K 2. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap - 10K 3. Quant ELSS - 7K 4. HDFC Retirement Saving - 10K 5. Kotak Mid Cap - 6K 6. SBI Focused Equity - 8K 7. Bandhan Small Cap - 8K 8. Nippon India Multi Asset - 8K My investment time horizon is 20+ years. Please review and suggest changes required if any. With Thanks & Regards, S. Salvankar
Ans: Hi Sarvothama,

You are doing great with your iverall investments at such age. Early investment really helps you in the long run. Let us analyse everything in detail:
1. Make sure to have ample emrgency fund in FD or liquid funds.
2. You should have proper term insurance and health insurance for yourself and family. As your spouse is working, she should also have an independent term insurance.
3. 8 lakhs in FD - can be treated as your emergency fund.
4. 6 lakhs in PPF - not recommended as a=you must have your EPF being an IT Professional. PPF is just like EPF, hence make minimum contributions to keep the account active and close it when 15 years tenure is over.
5. Health policy - 5 lakhs >> insufficient keeping in mind rising medical costs. Increase it to a minimum of 25 lakhs family floater for yourself and spouse.
6. 15 lakhs PLI - continue.
7. 15 lakhs + 60k monthly SIP in mutual funds. Very good and you should continue. However, the funds chosen are not exactly great. Entire allocation needs a proper plan in alignment to your profile and long term goal. It is better to work with a professional to choose better funds for your 20+ years goal.
I will not recommend continuing your SIPs in - Quant ELSS, HDFC Retirement Savings, Nippon multi asset and Focused Equity fund.

Hence overall reallocation and distribution in required here.
Do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |524 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Money
Sir, I am a 44 years old male and have made following investments in Mutual Funds, which are as follows, please let me know if it is good to go: DSP India T.I.G.E.R. (The Infrastructure Growth and Economic Reforms Fund) Direct Growth (Rs. 1,000) Nippon India Small Cap Fund Direct Growth (Rs. 1,500) Axis Silver FoF Direct Growth (Rs. 1,000) LIC MF Gold ETF FoF Direct Growth (Rs. 1,000) Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund Direct Growth (Rs. 1,000) Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund Direct Growth (Rs. 500) SBI PSU Direct Plan Growth (lumpsum - Rs. 7,000) Aditya Birla Sun Life PSU Equity Fund Direct Growth (lumpsum - Rs. 6,000) I urge you to review my above portfolio as a whole and thereafter appropriately guide me whether I need to switch any of the above SIPs or stay invested as it is, particularly I am more worried about ‘Nippon India Small Cap Fund Direct Growth’ (keeping in consideration that my SIP becomes more than 1.5 years old with this Fund), it has generated negative returns more often, which now becomes my cause of concern, as a result sometimes I felt that I had invested in a wrong fund. My intent for the above investment is to create sufficient wealth, till the time of my retirement. Now, I seek your valuable guidance over the above, enabling me to reach to a decision. Thanks & regards, Ashish
Ans: Hi Ashish,

You have long 16 years till your retirement and proper guided investment can do wonders with your monthly SIPs.
Your concern regarding Nippon Small Cap fund is genuine but this is exactly how markets work. One cannot expect their money to double in an overnight. It needs patience and proper plan to generate even bare minimum of 12% annual return.

I see all the funds you invest in are direct funds. while direct funds are more preferred as they have lower expense ratio of about 0.5%, regular funds are better as they come with proper plan and guidance throughout.
Generating 2-4% returns in these types of direct funds v/s getting 12% return in regular funds - there is always an option.

However, continue with Nippon small cap, Parag Parikh Flexicap, and Motilal Oswal Midcap fund. Stop SIPs in other funds and work with a proper advisor to redirect these funds into better new funds.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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