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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 16, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
SR Question by SR on May 16, 2022Hindi
Relationship

Dear Mam I am 22 years old and today I want to share my story of heart break and I really want to know what I can I do better to make myself happy.
I started dating this a guy in 2017 and I was madly in love with him. Everything for me was about him.
Since I was living in a hostel I used to feel alone sometimes. Initially our relationship was normal. Then one day I went for a trip with him and we got physical for the first time. Somehow, I got attached to him more after that. I started calling him to my hostel to spend time with me.
Meanwhile I faced some personal problems in my life. Those days were really bad and I used to suffer a lot.
He was there for me always. He never made me feel alone in the city.
I used to go to my family every year and then lockdown happened. I was stuck in my hometown.
I had a fight with him and I just cut the call. From that day onwards his behaviour towards me changed.
The very next day he went out with another girl and posted pictures. I was hurt. I didn't know what to say, I was in self-doubt mode but his behaviour started changing towards me.
In the beginning, he said when you will come back I cannot come and stay with you. I agreed to it. Then he said I cannot meet you every weekend cause I want to make other plans as well.
Slowly I understood that he wants me to stay away from his life.
He went for a party with the girl late in the night and that triggered me very badly. I fought with him. I guess that was the moment he was waiting for.

He said that he doesn't want me anymore and broke up. I kept begging him not to leave me but it seemed like he was dying to leave me. I was completely shattered.
On 15th January he left me. Even after leaving he continued texting me. I was trying my best to control my feelings and I tried giving him the space he deserved.
Still he kept texting me. He was not able to stay away from me. My vacation got over and it was my time to go back. This was the most difficult part coz this time I knew that he won't be there for me, and I have to survive alone.

Once while coming back from my home town to my work town I texted him. He said that he is with the girl and he is drunk. I couldn’t sleep that night. I was shivering. I was broken.
When I entered the city I was shivering cause I was not ready for the consequences. I didn't meet him because he went for a trip with that girl and got physical with her. He always maintained that it’s only after he left me that he got involved with someone else. He wanted me to be a part of his life somehow so he kept calling and texting me. Even when he was with the girl he used to come to my house every Saturday and go on dates with that girl on Sundays.

I really didn't understand what was he up to. Meanwhile I went through her profile and came to know that she’s a little suspicious.
One day I got the opportunity to tell him about it. He said come and meet me. He was drunk and we got physical. That time I checked his phone and saw the messages he’d shared with her.
I was broken again but this time I texted her through his phone to please take care of him. That girl got angry and made things worse. Instead of making sure that he is alright she locked horns with him. He blamed me for losing her. I told him that my existence in your life is not good. Let's just not talk to each other.

Next day he again texted me requesting to meet.
In the evening when I went to meet him he was a completely changed person. He treated me very well, gave me his phone and made me feel special.
Somehow he came back to me and started giving me the importance I was craving for. Today he is with me and pampers me. He has stopped doing certain things which he used to do but I get the importance.

Despite all this, I am a bit insecure and scared because of what I have gone through in the past. Can you please tell me what to do?

Ans:

Dear SR,

Read this sentence that you have written:

“Even when he was with the girl he used to come to my house every Saturday and go on dates with that girl on Sundays.”

Do you not feel used and powerless?

How are you able to allow someone to treat you in such a disrespectful manner?

Did the two of decide to become friends and support one another in your respective relationships, like the way you stood by and watched him date this other girl while he walked into your life seeking approval?

Open your eyes please. The other girl is no longer in his life and he wails and comes back to you and now you are wondering what you should be doing?

If this was your sister or a best friend going through the same thing, will you tell them to put up with this toxic behaviour or will you ask them to take charge of their lives?

Will you tell them to love themselves more and reclaim their power or wait meekly to pick up scraps as and when the guy threw them around?

Stand up for yourself girl; at least he will think before trying this game with another girl.

Do the right thing by just being YOU and loving yourself more.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

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Relationship
Hi I am 23 years old and had a first relationship with 4 years younger boy. Everything between us was picture perfect. He was everything I ever dreamt of, but after 1 year our relationship turned toxic.He's acting like he wasn’t aware that ups and downs come but we should stick to each other. He asked to break up twice and we again came together but now it’s been months we aren’t together anymore. I’m emotionally attached to him but tired of bearing this pain and constantly fearing he will leave me when conditions aren’t favourable. But after break up he still wants to be friends. I even agreed that. Even in friendship he's talking and roaming as per only his convenience. Guide me how to come out of pain as I’m pursuing one of the renowned career course and also this also is affecting my mental health.
Ans:

Dear D,

Emotional maturity is what is in question here. He still is at an age where commitment is not something he is aware of.

It’s like try this relationship, if it doesn’t work, try another one and so on….

Give him time to settle his emotions till he is ready for a committed relationship; which does not mean, you wait around for ever.

Now that you are ‘friends’ or not, please surround yourself with people your age and if an interesting person comes along, see where that goes.

As far as being attached to him goes, do you really want to continue to inflict pain on yourself by basing your entire emotional world with him?

The world is huge and so are your sights…. Focus on yourself and what you love and be in that space to find yourself again.

Be kind to yourself, all the best! 

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2022

Relationship
Hi Anu, Nice to contact you. I came across many of your conversations online and I would like to share my life situation. If you could help in any way it would be a great support. I am married since 4 and half years now but we have stayed together only for 1 and half years. Rest of it was purely long-distance relationship. It was an arranged marriage and I entered it with great hope and dreams. I still believe I have had only bare minimum expectations from my partner as that of any young woman. After the marriage got fixed I had to leave my job and stay at my hometown. He works in a distant state. We were all hoping that after marriage, I’d go and live with him so will search for a job later. Even during prewedding discussions the talk was that he will shift to a new home before marriage and after marriage he will take me along with him. But two weeks after our wedding he left to work leaving me at his home with his parents in our hometown. He didn’t explain or give any reasons. It broke me. Those 2 weeks were wonderful and the best time of our marriage life. He came after 2 months, rented a new house and took me with him. It was good although small and silly arguments would happen. He loved me and I stayed there for a month. We returned to hometown after a month. He left me there and returned to work in 1 week’s time. I stayed with his parents (in between his mother met with an accident and I stayed with her for like 2 months). He took me back to his place for 3 months. When financial circumstances got bad, he changed. He stopped expressing love in any form other than getting me variety of food items. There was no romance, small talks or travelling outside. He sent me back to my parents’ place for 7 months. It made me really mad and we started to fight over the phone making us more distant. He was facing financial crisis, I wanted to be supportive but he never shared his feelings or plans with me. I never felt involved. Without a job I went into depression. To sort things, I stayed with him for 9 months looking for a job. He never showed any interest. I stayed at home for all those months feeling depressive and insecure. There was no romance, emotional or physical.He is perfect in his words and promises but never in his actions. I believed and waited for 3 years. Then my in laws suggested a job but it was at my native place. As it suited my educational qualifications I showed interest and he said okay. I applied and got the job. Since then I have not visited him at his work place. It’s been 2 years now and I stay with his parents. Due to covid he didn’t come for home for a 1 and half. A few months ago he came and stayed for a week. When people see us it’s 4 and 1/2 years of marriage but for us it’s not. Since we don’t have kids people are suspecting a lot. I don’t blame them.Clearly not everything is alright.My husband is a lovely person and he cares so much but I feel he is controlling me. May be because of his lack of emotional availability. But many things have bothered me a lot since our wedding.My husband and I have never visited or travelled a place alone, ever. We never had a honeymoon.My husband has never introduced me to any of his friends.I know nothing of him through a third person, all I know is what he has told me.These days he hardly calls me. I tend to get more frustrated and cry sometimes by sharing my feelings with him if he called very late at night. So he stopped calling me. When I asked he replied “when I call at night you are complaining, fighting and crying so I don’t call” He is running away from situations. I replied to him “you know that I will cry and there is a reason for that. Instead to solving the situation and not to make me cry, you would rather prefer not to call”. He said “Yes”. So he refrains from anything that upsets him. Long time ago due to some misunderstandings I refused to be physically romantic with him and he did the same to me for months and years which is also why we don’t have kids. But I cant explain or share this with anyone. I doubt about my future as I am scared that I will never be blessed with a life with shared love and romance.I miss myself being in love and happy.I miss my own very smile.I don’t put all the blame on him because I know am not perfect. But am not that evil to be punished like this in my life. I do deserve some happiness. He hasn’t abused me but absence of abuse doesn’t mean a healthy relationship. I have always felt lonely. Rather than love I have felt more judged for my actions and thoughts.There is not a single day in life where I do not think about leaving this relationship but it has become very difficult to picture a happy healthy future with him.It has become hard to have a simple conversation with him now.I hope for a healthy relationship in which my partner and I could be vulnerable to one and other.Am I expecting too much from him? Is it that am not good enough for him?Will this too pass? I am worried.I would like to stay anonymous.
Ans:

Dear Anonymous,

These are your words that stood out for me.

‘I miss myself being in love and happy.

'I miss my own very smile.'

So, who is stopping you from these? Be in love, be happy, smile when you want.

You have tied these things to your marriage and have hoped that putting things together will bring a smile back on your face. As much as it’s true, it won’t be long lasting.

Now let’s focus on your marriage. What is this ‘being sent here, sent back there’?

What are you, some parcel/courier package to be sent here and there at will?

The first time that you felt that this being sent here and there was NOT OKAY, that would have been the time to voice it out.

Situations of a husband and wife being physically apart can come in anytime during a marriage. But this has to be handled with a lot of love and communication and not keeping silent and controlling it his way.

What has caused your hurt is the fact of non-communication from him, inability to validate your feelings, making you feel guilty for expressing your feelings and his unwillingness to work on this?

Request a person known to both of you to mediate to set up a meeting if both of you want to be in this marriage and live in peace and harmony. If you don’t step up now, things will be emotionally draining.

Also, as a woman, you don’t have to feel guilty for saying that something is not alright and that you want things to be different. You do not have to mask it with a statement that ‘he is a good man’ etc.

Be honest to yourself about what you feel and what you want. It helps putting things into perspective faster. STEP UP NOW and SPEAK.

Do that favour onto yourself please and also expect things to go the other way especially if he does not want to mutually set things right.

No matter what, know that strength from within is what will help you sort things for the better.

Be strong and value yourself. All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 04, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Anu, I'm studying BTech final year. My love and I were in a relationship since 5 years. Things were fine till our diploma. I got a seat in another college which was far from our place. At the same time, he moved to his hometown for house construction. There he met a girl. She is 34. He used to talk a lot to her and got attached to her. He tells everything to me. He even said that people were spreading wrong rumours about them. I told him to stay away till things got better. Since then he has stopped telling me much. There was a recent fight in his hometown relating to both of them which annoyed him. He continues to say there is nothing wrong between both of us. He used to love me a lot. Whenever I felt insecure or if there was any mood swings he used to make me calm and relaxed. Now-a-days he always tells me ‘Wait. Don't call me.’ If I call him more, he just scolds me. There are no sweet talks or setting time aside for a call, and all. He even says ‘I promised that I'll be with her at any time in any problem and now because everyone is spreading rumours I can't break my promise to her.’ What about me? Didn't you promise to make me happy? I feel betrayed.I got angry and told him that my parents are seeing matches for me. His reply shook me. He said: 'Go, get married.’ I was like ‘you aren't the same.’ I don't understand what to do or how to set things right.My mental health is getting worse.
Ans:

Dear S,

Your letter is very confusing to me.

I hope your post is genuine and not just to have fun…despite that I will consider it real and try to suggest what I can though I find your facts very contradictory.

Keeping the age factor aside, what I can say is: if someone does not treat you well, what’s the point waiting for that person?

If he isn’t interested in you, why are you chasing him?

Please make your world better by being around people who respect and value you and watch how beautiful it all becomes rather than searching and begging for love. He clearly isn’t into you anymore. So, move on…

All the best!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |260 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 23, 2023

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Relationship
I am 12th passed student and I had a bf around feb .Everything was perfectly fine in the starting but then somehow our talks got less and i asked him if everything was ok bcoz i felt strange whenever we talked through texts. He said he is tired and doesn't wanna talk and did not know what happened to him ... Plus exams were ongoing so I supported the way I can but i knew something was off ... As the time passed things got worse. I asked how much time u need to be urself .. u are going out with ur friends but don't wanna talk to me neither u asked how i am for past dew weeks or a month . In the last he said leave I am not good enough for you. Everything thing we talked was on snapchat app. I was so depressed plus my exam result were less then expected. I stopped using any social media.. There wasn't a single day i missed him or thought of seeing the snaps but somehow i made myself I understand that If u were imp he wouldn't talk about leaving...ig ... But still I do miss him when everything was started and ended by him... On 14th My frnd texted me asking abt my result and she said she will ask him aswell( she doesn't know abt us dating) ... And after a week i.e today i downloaded the app and i saw that he sent me snaps till 14th and they all were deleted and after that there was nothing. Somehow i feel that there must be some conversations between my frnd and him. But what i feel now is that i regret why i didn't saw his msgs when i missed him. It makes me feel regret and sad . Whenever i think about it i forget all that disrespect but at the same time something stops me . Idk what kind of feeling is this ... All ik that there was a little communication between us that was also gone ... I just wanna overcome but i cant . Its gonna be a month and these emotions are really making me feel depressed. I even start making scenarios and stories in my mind . Idk what is happening to me . Pls help me overcome this what should i do ?
Ans: Dear Radha,

I understand that you are experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions at the moment, but listen to me, this too shall pass. You won't feel this way three months from now. Six months from now, you will find it funny that you even felt this way once, and you might even regret focusing on your ex than your exams. Two years from now, you will even forget how you felt on this day; you will forget the sorrow, you will forget how lonely and helpless you felt. You will move on. Everyone does. Look at the bigger picture and these feelings that you are experiencing today will seem small.

Now, coming to how you can deal with it at present- focus on your studies; everything can wait, but your career won't. Hang out with your friends; tell them how you are feeling. Talking about pain is known to give some kind of relief. No one can take it from you, but having someone to listen to it can help. Focus on your health- mental and physical; workout a bit. It helps. And, in the end, let time do its magic.

P.S. If he says he's not good enough for you, believe it. You deserve better; even your ex thinks so. So why don't you?

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Anu, I am in relationship for 6 months and now we are in long distance relationship, I have struggled a lot in family love issues, so I always craved for love, but my boyfriend is a bit distant, although he tries his best, but I just can't get over, I feel like i deserve to be loved more and deserve good care and attention, there are always the things which he hurts me almost everyday now, I feel like shutting down my emotions again, I feel very low after his actions, although he has his reasons which are correct too, but little bit wrong too, he does not think deeply about me, because he is immature himself, we are just 19, I don't know and unable to understand what should I do, should I shut myself down and try to study and not talk to him by giving him excuses that I am busy, I really am losing more and more trust from him, and slowly my will to share things is getting lost, although I scream from inside that I want to share but after his actions hurt me, I feel puzzled from inside, he is good, but I don't think he is much into these love and stuffs, he is just chill with his life, as he shows off, so much that I misunderstand him a lot, how can we understand each other better, we just keep hurting each other, because of our different thoughts and perspective, I love him so much, I want to be with him, but his actions make me further distant from him, and he also says he has his own privacy, I don't understand, if relationship is built on trust then what kind of privacy, I don't mean , I don't understand him, i respect his opinion, but because of his perspective, he hurts me too, and doesn't respect my perspective, I feel like relying on him emotionally and always have been, but he thinks I speak too much and he doesn't value it much, and doesn't understand how much hard it is for me to share....I really feel very much overwhelmed and it's not getting any better, every night I feel pain and keeps on crying, it's not stoping, it's becoming a loop, please guide me, what should I do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
All I can see and hear from you is: that you are dependent on him for you happiness!
Okay, 'I have struggled a lot in family love issues' (as you mentioned) BUT looking for that to be filled from someone externally is only going to disappoint you.
How can you replace family and sibling love and attention from outside?
Also, being 19, both of you are still not mature to put things in perspective. Do understand that every time you complain to your boyfriend and call that a 'perspective', you are just pushing him away...he's just being a boy of 19 trying to have a carefree life and a girlfriend with who he can share and of course, feel 'cool' in his guy gang.
Why are you expecting him to fill in for the missing love? He cannot as whatever he does, he will always fall short as in your mind you will compare with what you ideally would want and he will fall short. Then, the drama will begin where you will complain, he will defend and he will slowly call that his carefree ways and he will say: I am like this only!
And then you will feel hurt and the drama will continue.

First things first; you cannot fulfill what love you lack from outside. Learn to love yourself first. the concept of self-love is rage these days BUT it has always been around in simpler ways from the very beginning. Love what you do everyday, surround yourself with friends that you feel good with, focus on your academic goals...
Loving oneself is the way to go; it might seem a bit difficult at you age to fathom as everything external excites you...So, focus on your self and put less attention in what your boyfriend does or doesn't. Slowly, you will appreciate the things that he does for you...And you will start to feel better from within!
Your self-worth is something only you can grow from within and this cannot be dependent on anything or anyone external. Grow your strength from within!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Parthiban T R   |176 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 45 with 7 LPA salary. I have a purchased plot. I want to move out of my current house in 2 years. Should I build a house or purchase a flat?
Ans: Your Current Situation
At 45 years old with a salary of Rs 7 lakhs per annum, you own a plot and plan to move out of your current house in 2 years.

Key Considerations
Let's evaluate whether you should build a house or purchase a flat based on several factors.

Financial Assessment
Building a House
Pros:

Customization: You can design it according to your preferences and needs.

Potential Cost Savings: Building can be cheaper per square foot compared to buying a ready-made flat, depending on the area.

Appreciation: The value of a well-built house on your own plot may appreciate more over time.

Cons:

Time-Consuming: Construction can take a long time, potentially more than 2 years.

Management: Requires constant supervision and dealing with contractors, which can be stressful.

Initial Costs: High initial outlay for construction materials and labor.

Purchasing a Flat
Pros:

Convenience: Ready to move in, no waiting period or construction hassle.

Amenities: Flats often come with amenities like security, maintenance, gym, pool, etc.

Fixed Cost: Fixed price with no unexpected expenses compared to potential construction overruns.

Cons:

Less Customization: Limited to the builder's design and layout.

Maintenance Costs: Monthly maintenance charges can be high in some apartments.

Appreciation: Flats may appreciate less compared to individual houses on plots.

Lifestyle Considerations
Building a House
Privacy: More privacy and space compared to flats.

Expansion: Easier to expand or modify in the future as per your needs.

Community: Less communal living; more suited for those who prefer privacy.

Purchasing a Flat
Community Living: Better community interaction, good for families.

Security: Enhanced security measures compared to independent houses.

Maintenance: Professional maintenance of common areas and facilities.

Long-Term Goals
Financial Goals
Investment Potential: Consider long-term appreciation potential. A well-built house may offer better returns.

Future Expenses: Think about long-term maintenance and repair costs for both options.

Personal Goals
Retirement Plans: Consider which option suits your retirement lifestyle better. Flats often offer a more carefree lifestyle with less personal responsibility for maintenance.

Family Needs: Assess the needs of your family. Flats might be more suitable for small families or those who value community amenities.

Final Insights
Recommendation
Based on your situation, I recommend assessing the following before making a decision:

Time and Stress: If you have the time and are willing to manage construction, building a house can be rewarding. If not, purchasing a flat is convenient and less stressful.

Financial Position: Ensure you have a clear budget. Building a house can have unexpected costs. Flats have fixed pricing.

Long-Term View: Consider your long-term living and investment goals. Flats offer convenience and community, while a house offers privacy and potential higher appreciation.

Ultimately, the decision depends on your personal preferences, financial readiness, and long-term goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 40 year old. Monthly take home 4L(Standard EPF of 1800 deducted). 2 kids 8 year girl and 1 year boy. 55L in Mutual Fund 36L in PF 30L in NPS Land of current value 70L Emergency Fund 10L Health insurance 1Cr, Term Insurance 3Cr and Parental Insurance 25L 1. 56K EMI for HomeLoan (24L due) 2. 20K VPF 3. 52.5K NPS 3. 1.5L Mutual Fund 4. 40K school Fees 5. 12.5K Suknya Yojna 6. 20K debt fund 7. 60K monthly Expenses 8. 11K Gold What will be the strategy to retire in next 15 year by keeping enough money for retirement and Child Education?
Ans: Evaluating Your Current Financial Situation
You have a good income and diversified investments. Let’s analyse your current assets and liabilities to strategise for retirement and child education.

Assets Overview
Mutual Funds: Rs. 55 lakh
Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 36 lakh
National Pension System (NPS): Rs. 30 lakh
Land: Rs. 70 lakh
Emergency Fund: Rs. 10 lakh
Health Insurance: Rs. 1 crore
Term Insurance: Rs. 3 crore
Parental Insurance: Rs. 25 lakh
Liabilities Overview
Home Loan EMI: Rs. 56,000 (24 lakh due)
Monthly Expenses: Rs. 60,000
Children’s Education and Future: Significant future costs
Current Monthly Investments
Voluntary Provident Fund (VPF): Rs. 20,000
NPS: Rs. 52,500
Mutual Funds: Rs. 1,50,000
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana: Rs. 12,500
Debt Fund: Rs. 20,000
Gold: Rs. 11,000
Retirement and Child Education Strategy
Define Your Goals
Retirement in 15 Years
Children’s Education Fund
Retirement Planning
Step 1: Calculate Retirement Corpus
Estimate your retirement expenses. Factor in inflation and life expectancy. Assume Rs. 1 lakh monthly expenses at retirement. With 6% inflation, this becomes Rs. 2.4 lakh per month in 15 years.

Step 2: Increase Contributions
NPS: Continue with Rs. 52,500. This will accumulate significant corpus.
Mutual Funds: Continue Rs. 1.5 lakh. Increase by 5-10% annually to keep pace with inflation.
Step 3: Diversify Investments
Equity Exposure: Focus on equity mutual funds for growth. They offer higher returns over long-term.
Debt Exposure: Maintain a balanced portfolio. Keep investing in debt funds for stability.
Child Education Planning
Step 1: Estimate Education Costs
Education costs are rising. Assume Rs. 50 lakh for each child’s higher education.

Step 2: Dedicated Investments
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana: Continue Rs. 12,500 for your daughter.
Equity Mutual Funds: Allocate Rs. 50,000 monthly for both children’s education. Increase annually.
Managing Liabilities
Home Loan Repayment
Accelerate EMI: Pay an additional EMI yearly if possible. This reduces interest and tenure.
Prepay Loan: Use bonuses or increments to prepay the home loan. Aim to close it within 5-7 years.
Emergency Fund
Maintain Rs. 10 lakh for emergencies. Ensure it covers at least 6 months of expenses.

Insurance Coverage
You have adequate health, term, and parental insurance. Regularly review and adjust coverage if needed.

Gold Investments
Continue Rs. 11,000 in gold for diversification. It’s a good hedge against inflation.

Final Insights
To retire comfortably and fund your children's education:

Continue and increase current investments.
Focus on equity for long-term growth.
Maintain a balanced portfolio.
Prepay home loan to reduce liabilities.
Regularly review and adjust your financial plan with a Certified Financial Planner.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2024Hindi
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Money
Sir my name is khekaho from nagaland Iam married with one son and one daughter,both me and my wife are state government employees with the monthly salary of rupees 54 thousand and 53 thousand respectively.I would like you to give us an ideas of how to secure our feature when we retired .
Ans: Name: Khekaho
Location: Nagaland
Marital Status: Married with one son and one daughter
Employment: Both state government employees
Monthly Salaries: Rs 54,000 and Rs 53,000
Financial Planning Goals
Retirement Security
Children's Education
Emergency Fund
Wealth Creation
Step-by-Step Financial Plan
1. Assess Your Current Financial Situation

Monthly Combined Income: Rs 1,07,000
Expenses: List all monthly expenses
Savings: Calculate your current savings and investments
2. Create an Emergency Fund

Amount: 6-12 months of expenses
Investment: High-interest savings account or short-term FDs
3. Children's Education Fund

Estimate Costs: Project future education costs
Investment: SIPs in diversified mutual funds or child education plans
4. Retirement Planning

Employee Provident Fund (EPF)

Contribution: Both you and your wife contribute to EPF
Benefit: Tax-free and compounding interest
Public Provident Fund (PPF)

Contribution: Invest in PPF for tax benefits
Tenure: 15 years with partial withdrawals allowed after 5 years
Mutual Funds

Diversification: Invest in a mix of equity and debt mutual funds
SIP: Start monthly SIPs to benefit from rupee cost averaging
National Pension System (NPS)

Contribution: Invest in NPS for retirement corpus
Benefit: Tax benefits under Section 80C and 80CCD
5. Insurance Planning

Life Insurance

Term Plan: Both should have a term insurance plan
Coverage: At least 10-15 times your annual income
Health Insurance

Family Floater Plan: Cover the entire family
Sum Assured: Adequate to cover medical emergencies
6. Debt Management

High-Interest Loans: Pay off any high-interest debt
Home Loans: Ensure timely payments to avoid penalties
7. Wealth Creation

Diversified Investments

Equity Mutual Funds: For long-term growth
Debt Mutual Funds: For stability and regular income
Regular Monitoring

Review Portfolio: Regularly review and adjust your investments
Rebalance: Ensure your portfolio aligns with your risk tolerance and goals
Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
Expert Management

Regular Funds: Managed by experienced professionals
Benefit: Better risk management and returns
Convenience

Ease: Investing through Certified Financial Planners offers personalized advice
Disadvantages of Index Funds
Limited Flexibility

Tracking: Index funds strictly follow market indices
Drawback: Lack of active management to adapt to market changes
Lower Returns

Potential: Actively managed funds can outperform index funds
Final Insights
Start Early: The sooner you start, the better
Diversify: Spread investments across different asset classes
Consult a CFP: Professional advice ensures a comprehensive plan
Review Regularly: Adjust your plan as needed to stay on track
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

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I need of financial planning, I'm getting salary of 76k per month, and yearly bonus of 2 lacs suggest a best financial plan. I've 10k for house hold n other misc expenses
Ans: With a monthly salary of Rs 76,000 and a yearly bonus of Rs 2 lakhs, here is a structured financial plan:

Income and Expenses
Monthly Income:

Salary: Rs 76,000
Monthly Expenses:

Household and Miscellaneous: Rs 10,000
Savings and Investments: Rs 66,000
Budget Allocation
1. Emergency Fund:

Target: 6 months of expenses (Rs 60,000 x 6 = Rs 3,60,000)
Monthly Contribution: Rs 10,000
Instrument: High-interest savings account or liquid fund
2. Retirement Planning:

Target: Secure retirement corpus
Monthly Contribution: Rs 20,000
Instrument: Public Provident Fund (PPF), Employee Provident Fund (EPF), and National Pension System (NPS)
3. Child’s Education:

Target: Future education expenses
Monthly Contribution: Rs 10,000
Instrument: Equity mutual funds via SIP
4. Health and Life Insurance:

Target: Adequate insurance coverage
Monthly Contribution: Rs 5,000
Instrument: Family floater health insurance, term life insurance
5. Short-term Goals:

Target: Vacations, gadgets, etc.
Monthly Contribution: Rs 5,000
Instrument: Recurring deposit or short-term debt mutual funds
6. Tax-saving Investments:

Target: Maximize tax benefits
Monthly Contribution: Rs 6,000
Instrument: Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS), PPF, NPS
Yearly Bonus Allocation
1. Lump Sum Investments:

Target: Long-term wealth creation
Amount: Rs 1,50,000
Instrument: Equity mutual funds (lump sum investment)
2. Extra Emergency Fund:

Target: Additional safety net
Amount: Rs 50,000
Instrument: High-interest savings account or liquid fund
Monitoring and Adjustments
1. Regular Review:

Review your financial plan every 6 months.
Adjust based on changes in income, expenses, or financial goals.
2. Professional Guidance:

Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized advice.
Stay updated with market trends and tax laws.
Final Insights
Your structured financial plan ensures a balanced approach to savings, investments, and expenses. By following this plan, you can achieve your financial goals and secure your future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, I am 31 years old. I am planning to retire at the age between 45 to 48. I want to generate wealth of at least 10Cr by the time I retire. As of today, I have MF corpus of 28L(17.5L/10.4L) with monthly SIPs of 42500. Current ongoing SIPs in 1. Quant Active Fund - 5k 2. Axis Midcap Fund - 5k 3. Mirae Asset ELSS - 5k 4. SBI Small Cap - 5k 5. Nippon India US Equity Opp. Fund - 2.5k 6. DSP ELSS Tax Saver - 1k 7. Mirae Asset Large & Mid Cap - 5k 8. Nippon India Small Cap - 5k 9. Quant Mid Cap - 3k 10. Quant Small Cap - 3k 11. Quant Flexi Cap - 3k There are 3 Stopped SIPs 1. Axis Bluechip Fund - 1.5L Invested / 2.07L valuation 2. Nippon India ELSS Tax Saver - 94k invested / 2.06L valuation 3. Aditya Birla SL ELSS Tax Saver - 94k invested / 1.64L Valuation Please suggest if I need to change my strategy in investing MF with above ongoing and stopped SIPs. Also, on top of MF investment, I have, PF corpus 11.5L with expected 8% YoY contribution. NPS corpus 11L with expected 8% YoY contribution. 30L in FDs with 9% compounding interest rate and treating same as emergency fund. 6.25L in stocks. Investing in individual stocks and via smallcase baskets(Enery, Banking and Metal Tracker) with 20-25k on quartely basis. PPF corpus of approx. 5L with 5k per month contribution with 9 years remaining. HDFC SL ProGrowth Plus with Sum Assured 12L with pending 8 premius of 60k per year. Me and my wife don't have any term or health insurance. Both of us are relying on corporate health insurance for family. I have home loan of 1.2Cr with EMI of 80k which is a biggest chunk of in hand salary. Household and personal expenses are around 20k per month. So, looking at above details how should I plan my financials for kid's(no kid yet) education/marriage and post retirement life ?
Ans: Your Current Financial Situation
Let’s review your current situation. You have a diverse portfolio with SIPs, mutual funds, stocks, FDs, and more.

Investments
Mutual Fund Corpus: Rs 28 lakhs
Monthly SIPs: Rs 42,500
Provident Fund: Rs 11.5 lakhs
NPS: Rs 11 lakhs
Fixed Deposits: Rs 30 lakhs
Stocks: Rs 6.25 lakhs
PPF: Rs 5 lakhs
HDFC SL ProGrowth Plus: Sum Assured Rs 12 lakhs
Liabilities
Home Loan: Rs 1.2 crores with an EMI of Rs 80,000 per month
Expenses: Rs 20,000 per month
Insurance
Corporate Health Insurance: Only relying on this for health coverage
Investment Strategy Evaluation
You have a robust and diversified investment strategy. Let’s refine it further.

Mutual Funds
You have a wide variety of mutual funds, including equity, ELSS, and international funds.

Active vs. Stopped SIPs
Active SIPs: Quant Active Fund, Axis Midcap Fund, Mirae Asset ELSS, SBI Small Cap, Nippon India US Equity Opp. Fund, DSP ELSS Tax Saver, Mirae Asset Large & Mid Cap, Nippon India Small Cap, Quant Mid Cap, Quant Small Cap, Quant Flexi Cap

Stopped SIPs: Axis Bluechip Fund, Nippon India ELSS Tax Saver, Aditya Birla SL ELSS Tax Saver

Recommendations for Mutual Funds
Consolidation: Reduce the number of funds. This simplifies management and avoids overlap.

Focus on Performance: Keep funds with consistent performance.

Direct vs. Regular Funds
Disadvantages of Direct Funds: Lack professional guidance. Regular funds offer better management through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).
Additional Investment Suggestions
Debt Instruments
PPF and NPS: Continue contributions. They offer stability and tax benefits.
Stocks and Smallcases
Stock Investments: Keep investing quarterly. Diversify across sectors for balanced growth.
Fixed Deposits
Emergency Fund: Maintain Rs 30 lakhs in FDs. Ensure easy access for emergencies.
Insurance Needs
Health Insurance
Individual Health Insurance: Get a separate health insurance plan. Corporate plans may not be sufficient.
Term Insurance
Life Cover: Get a term insurance plan for adequate life cover. This secures your family’s future.
Loan Management
Home Loan
Prepayment: Consider prepaying the home loan with surplus funds. This reduces interest burden and tenure.
Child’s Education and Marriage Planning
Systematic Investments
SIPs for Education: Start SIPs dedicated to your future child's education. Aim for growth-oriented funds.

Marriage Fund: Similarly, allocate funds for marriage expenses.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana
For Girl Child: If you have a girl child, consider investing in Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana for her future.
Retirement Planning
Retirement Corpus
Target: Aim for a retirement corpus of Rs 10 crores by age 45-48.
Strategy
Increase SIPs Annually: Increase your SIPs by 15% every year. This leverages compounding effectively.

Balanced Portfolio: Maintain a balanced portfolio with equity, debt, and other instruments.

Professional Management
Certified Financial Planner: Work with a CFP for personalized advice. They help manage and optimize your investments.
Final Insights
You have a strong investment base. Simplify your mutual fund portfolio and focus on high-performing funds. Get adequate health and life insurance. Prepay your home loan to reduce the burden. Plan systematically for your child's education and marriage. Work with a Certified Financial Planner to achieve your retirement goal of Rs 10 crores.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 19, 2024Hindi
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I want to seek your advise on PMS for me. I have retired last year and have received a corpus of 1 cr. I have investments in FD, PPF, mutual Fund, Senior citizen scheme, mutual funds and SIP. Please advise if PMS is good for me as I want to generate more money for my son’s future.
Ans: It’s great that you are thinking about your son’s future. You have already diversified your investments well. This is commendable.

Overview of Portfolio Management Services (PMS)
PMS involves professional management of investments. It offers tailored investment strategies. Let's explore whether it suits your needs.

Benefits of PMS
Professional Management: Managed by expert portfolio managers.

Customised Strategies: Tailored to individual goals and risk tolerance.

Active Management: Regular adjustments based on market conditions.

Potential for Higher Returns: Aims to outperform standard investments.

Drawbacks of PMS
High Fees: Management fees can be substantial.

Minimum Investment: Usually requires a large initial investment.

Market Risk: Investments are subject to market volatility.

Lack of Liquidity: It may have lock-in periods or exit loads.

Evaluating PMS for Your Needs
You have a significant corpus of Rs. 1 crore. Let's evaluate if PMS aligns with your goals.

Professional Management: PMS offers expert handling. This might appeal to you.

Customisation: Your specific needs for your son's future can be addressed.

Active Management: Ensures your portfolio is aligned with market changes.

Comparing PMS with Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are also professionally managed. Let’s compare both options.

Advantages of Mutual Funds
Diversification: Spreads risk across many investments.

Lower Costs: Generally lower fees than PMS.

Liquidity: Easier to buy and sell units.

Simplicity: Easier to understand and manage.

Disadvantages of PMS
High Costs: Higher fees can eat into returns.

Complexity: Requires understanding of various strategies.

Risk: Higher risk due to concentrated investments.

Recommendation
Considering your current investments, PMS might offer higher returns. However, it also comes with higher risks and costs.

Benefits of Continuing with Mutual Funds and SIPs
Diversification: Reduces risk.

Cost-Effective: Lower fees compared to PMS.

Ease of Management: Simpler to handle.

Drawbacks of PMS
High Fees: Can reduce net returns.

Market Volatility: Subject to high market risks.

Final Insights
Given your diversified portfolio, sticking with mutual funds and SIPs is advisable. They offer professional management with lower costs and risks.

You can consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to review your portfolio. This will ensure it aligns with your goals for your son's future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

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Money
I am 45 yr. Old house wife. Wish to gain knowledge about NPS(National Pension Scheme) in detail. Can i open it by my own? If yes what is the procedure? Can a person have more then 2 Nps a/c.? A detailed insight needed.
Ans: The National Pension Scheme (NPS) is a government-sponsored retirement savings scheme. It is designed to provide financial security during retirement. NPS offers a mix of equity, fixed income instruments, corporate bonds, and government securities. Here’s a detailed insight into NPS:

Eligibility and Account Opening
Who Can Open an NPS Account?

Any Indian citizen aged between 18 and 70 years can open an NPS account. This includes both salaried individuals and self-employed professionals.
Types of NPS Accounts

Tier I Account: This is the primary retirement account. It is mandatory and offers tax benefits.

Tier II Account: This is a voluntary savings account. It allows withdrawals at any time but does not offer tax benefits.

Procedure to Open an NPS Account
Online Method

Visit the official NPS website or a Point of Presence (PoP) online portal.

Complete the registration form with your personal details.

Upload required documents like PAN, Aadhaar, and a photograph.

Make an initial contribution of at least Rs. 500.

Offline Method

Visit the nearest PoP, typically a bank branch.

Fill out the NPS registration form.

Submit KYC documents (PAN, Aadhaar, etc.).

Make the initial contribution at the PoP counter.

Can a Person Have More Than One NPS Account?
Single NPS Account Policy

An individual can only have one NPS account. Multiple accounts are not allowed under the scheme.
Investment Options and Fund Management
Active Choice

You select the allocation among equities, corporate bonds, and government securities.
Auto Choice

The allocation is automatically managed based on your age.
Tax Benefits and Withdrawals
Tax Benefits

Contributions up to Rs. 1.5 lakhs are eligible for tax deduction under Section 80C.

An additional Rs. 50,000 deduction is available under Section 80CCD (1B).

Withdrawals

Up to 60% of the corpus can be withdrawn tax-free at retirement.

The remaining 40% must be used to purchase an annuity, providing regular pension.

How to Maximize Benefits from NPS
Regular Contributions

Make regular contributions to grow your retirement corpus.

Increase your contributions whenever possible to benefit from compounding.

Monitor Performance

Regularly review the performance of your NPS investments.

Switch between fund managers if required to optimize returns.

Additional Tips
Combine with Other Investments

Use NPS alongside other investment options like mutual funds and PPF for a balanced retirement portfolio.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner

A Certified Financial Planner can help you optimize your investment strategy and maximize benefits.
Final Insights
NPS is a robust retirement savings option offering tax benefits and diversified investments. Opening an account is simple, and you can manage it online or offline. Remember, you can only have one NPS account. Regular contributions and monitoring are key to maximizing your retirement corpus. Consider combining NPS with other investments for a balanced approach. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance and ensure you make the most of your NPS investments.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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