Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on May 16, 2024

Mohit Arora is a relationship coach, image consultant, soft skills trainer and the founder of Real Dating School. He has a BTech degree in computer science from the Rayat & Bahra Institute of Engineering and Biotechnology, Mohali, Punjab. He has been conducting customised skilling and communication workshops since 2014.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I am a 25 years old girl preparing for competitive exams. Meanwhile in preparation I got into a relationship that ended without due closure. The questions like why , how troubles me a lot.I am not able to move on neither to concentrate on studies.Please help

Ans: You'll get more guys. Focus on studies. Your happiness should not depend on that guy

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hi I am 23 years old and had a first relationship with 4 years younger boy. Everything between us was picture perfect. He was everything I ever dreamt of, but after 1 year our relationship turned toxic.He's acting like he wasn’t aware that ups and downs come but we should stick to each other. He asked to break up twice and we again came together but now it’s been months we aren’t together anymore. I’m emotionally attached to him but tired of bearing this pain and constantly fearing he will leave me when conditions aren’t favourable. But after break up he still wants to be friends. I even agreed that. Even in friendship he's talking and roaming as per only his convenience. Guide me how to come out of pain as I’m pursuing one of the renowned career course and also this also is affecting my mental health.
Ans:

Dear D,

Emotional maturity is what is in question here. He still is at an age where commitment is not something he is aware of.

It’s like try this relationship, if it doesn’t work, try another one and so on….

Give him time to settle his emotions till he is ready for a committed relationship; which does not mean, you wait around for ever.

Now that you are ‘friends’ or not, please surround yourself with people your age and if an interesting person comes along, see where that goes.

As far as being attached to him goes, do you really want to continue to inflict pain on yourself by basing your entire emotional world with him?

The world is huge and so are your sights…. Focus on yourself and what you love and be in that space to find yourself again.

Be kind to yourself, all the best! 

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 24, 2024

Listen
Relationship
hello mam i had a breakup a year ago and i still havent moved on from him. i am trying to push myself and have given myself enough time. But the core memory i share with him still hurts me. Then like this i get many days to get myself back. he is always on my mind 24*7 and due to this i cannot concentrate on my studies. i am stuck in this position and i dont wanna go back because ik he will never come. I have peak time of my career and i dont wanna regret this. My heart keeps wrenching and it pains a hell lotttttttt with the thought that its over and that one day he will be married too and i will have to see him with someone. idk what should i do?
Ans: Dear Hazel,
Losing someone when in love causes grief. So, go through the pain and don't be in a hurry to heal as when you allow yourself to feel the pain, you are actually stepping into the healing process and healing one day at a time.
It's a suggestion if you can actually keep the gifts given by him etc away during this time. It can torment you more.
And while you are healing and when you feel like the world crashing on you, you need to distract yourself by:
- Physical activity/exercise helps displacing the stuck feelings giving a good release
- Join communities with larger than life causes as this helps looking beyond oneself

Life can dynamically change; what we can do is navigate through these and step into your own life.
Ask yourself: What is it that I can do now that I am single again? How can I make best use of this time?
Easier said than done; but believe that things do get better BUT take that first step towards your healing journey.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |616 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
A bit long story I'm 21 student preparing for medical competative entrance exam for past 3 years (21-24).2 year ago this phase I was in a long distance relationship for 4 months with a girl I met in my class .But it didn't last long due to the problems created due to distance as she couldn't understand myself and I couldn't understand herself.so there was a misunderstanding and I couldn't hold on as I was in heavy pressure by exams and financial problems.so I couldn't handle and I felt like too early and broke up with her by losing my mind.she was completely disappointed as I didn't speak to her for more than an year due to one more year preparation.i missed her very much but I didnt tell her.I missed govt seat in border mark and the same year she got into a relationship with another guy in her class.i don't blame her. But I feel like my entire life is shattered and I couldn't move on from that girl till now.I couldn't concentrate on my career too.im kind of person who is always confident in all aspects but I have totally lost my mind .I can see that in an danger situation as age is running and family pressure, everyone of my classmates are far ahead of me I couldn't withstand this situation and couldn't make proper decision in any aspect. Mam please help me out.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concerns. The first step is to focus on moving on; she has, and you should too. Prioritize your career, your family, and your future. Next, what has happened to your career progress has already happened. It's unfortunate, but there's no way to change that. But give yourself a second chance; work harder and achieve greater things than you even imagined before. Trust me, you are not the only person who is standing in a situation like this. Many have, and many more will. But the ones who have passed this time will give you the same advice that I did.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9736 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

Money
Hi Sir, I am 32 years old, married and have a 4 month old daughter. I am working in a defense based private company. I earn 53K in hand. My monthly expenses come to around 20K. I have just started investing in mutual funds and doing a SIP of Rs.8000 per month. I have invested around 1.5 lakhs across multiple funds by now. I also have around 1.2lakhs in my EPFO account. I have saved 20K per month for my daughter for the past year which totals around 2 lakhs right now which I want to invest in her name for the long term. Besides these, I do not own any assets or have any liabilities as of now. Please suggest where to invest the amount I have saved for my daughter for best returns. And also please suggest how to plan for my retirement considering similar monthly expenditure with addition of daughters education and marriage.
Ans: You are in a very important phase of life. At 32, with a young child and a steady income, you have made a solid beginning. Your habit of saving and investing early will give you a big edge. Your family is depending on you, and your discipline will secure their future.

Let’s look at everything in a structured and simple way.

? Understanding Your Current Financial Situation

– Your income is Rs.53000 in hand.
– You spend Rs.20000 monthly.
– You save and invest the rest, which is very good.
– You already do SIP of Rs.8000 per month.
– You have Rs.1.5 lakhs in mutual funds.
– You have Rs.1.2 lakhs in EPFO.
– You have Rs.2 lakhs saved for your daughter.
– You have no loans.
– You have no assets like house or gold.

This is a healthy start. You are already spending only 40% of your income. That gives room to build wealth. Now, let us look at what to do next.

? Investing Your Daughter’s Rs.2 Lakhs: Long-Term View

This is for your daughter’s future. Likely uses could be higher education or marriage. Both are long-term goals.

– She is only 4 months now.
– You have 15 to 20 years time.
– This gives scope for growth-based investing.

Here’s what you can do:

– Invest this Rs.2 lakhs in 2 or 3 equity mutual funds.
– Choose actively managed funds for better long-term returns.
– Avoid index funds. They only copy the market and don’t beat inflation.
– Actively managed funds have expert fund managers.
– They adjust based on market opportunities.
– Over 15 years, they usually outperform index funds.

Also,

– Use Regular Plans through a CFP-backed Mutual Fund Distributor.
– Avoid Direct Plans unless you can manage and review investments on your own.
– Direct plans don’t provide support, review, or portfolio balancing.
– Regular Plans through a Certified Financial Planner help you stay disciplined.
– A qualified planner monitors the market and guides rebalancing.
– You avoid costly emotional mistakes.

Strategy for daughter’s funds:

– Divide Rs.2 lakhs across 2 or 3 good equity mutual funds.
– Stay invested for 15 years minimum.
– Do not withdraw in between.
– Review yearly with help of Certified Financial Planner.
– This can grow into a good education or marriage corpus.

Also, since you are already saving Rs.20000 every month for her, keep it up.
Even Rs.5000 or Rs.10000 monthly in SIP for her will make a big difference over time.

? Planning Your Retirement: Long-Term but Needs Focus

Retirement planning should start now. You have time, but the earlier, the better.

– You are 32 now.
– You can aim to retire at 60.
– That gives you 28 years to save.
– But inflation reduces the value of money.
– So Rs.20000 expenses today will grow a lot by retirement.

You need to plan for:

– Your own expenses after retirement
– Your wife’s needs
– Medical costs in old age
– Travel and emergencies
– No income after retirement

What you should do:

– Increase your SIP gradually as income rises.
– Right now, you invest Rs.8000 in mutual funds.
– Increase it by Rs.1000 every year.
– Also start a new SIP only for retirement.
– Separate from daughter’s goal.

Why equity mutual funds help:

– Equity mutual funds beat inflation over long term.
– They build wealth over 20+ years.
– Don’t choose debt mutual funds for retirement goals.
– Debt funds give stable returns but low growth.
– They are good for short-term goals.

Continue EPFO contribution:

– EPFO is a good long-term tool.
– It gives safe and tax-free corpus at retirement.
– Don’t withdraw EPF for other uses.
– Let it grow till retirement.

? Tracking Your Monthly Budget and Investing Discipline

Your expenses are only Rs.20000.
You save nearly Rs.30000 each month.
This gives you enough to grow wealth for all goals.

– Continue SIP of Rs.8000 or increase it.
– Start SIP of Rs.5000 for daughter.
– Start SIP of Rs.5000 for retirement.
– Keep Rs.5000 to Rs.7000 for emergency savings.
– Maintain Rs.1 lakh as emergency fund.
– Park it in liquid fund or FD for easy access.

This way:

– You cover child’s needs.
– You build retirement wealth.
– You stay ready for emergencies.

? Life Insurance and Health Insurance: Non-Investment but Vital

These are not investments. But they are must-haves.
They protect your family and finances from sudden shocks.

– Buy a term insurance of Rs.50 lakhs to Rs.1 crore.
– Choose only pure term insurance.
– Do not take ULIPs or endowment policies.
– They give low returns and high costs.
– If you already have such products, you may consider surrendering.
– Reinvest that amount in mutual funds.

– Also buy family floater health insurance.
– You, your wife and daughter should be covered.
– Minimum Rs.5 lakhs coverage.
– Health costs rise every year.

? Education and Marriage Planning for Daughter

These are big goals. But they are long-term, so time is your friend.

Education Planning:

– Higher education needs large funds.
– Start a separate SIP of Rs.5000 per month.
– Use equity mutual funds.
– Review every year and increase SIP.
– Don’t touch this investment for any other need.

Marriage Planning:

– This is 20+ years away.
– You can use lumpsum investments here.
– The Rs.2 lakhs you saved can be for this.
– Also, build this goal slowly after education fund is stable.

Do not mix marriage and education planning.
Treat them as two different goals.

? Building Assets for Financial Stability

You currently do not have any physical assets. That’s not a problem.

Focus on building financial assets.

– Mutual funds are liquid and can grow well.
– EPFO adds stability and long-term safety.
– Emergency fund ensures peace of mind.
– Term insurance covers family needs.
– Health insurance protects savings.

Stick to these. Do not get distracted by gold or real estate.

Real estate has low liquidity and high maintenance.
Also, resale or rental is not easy and returns are uncertain.

? Why You Should Avoid Index Funds

Index funds may look cheap. But they have limitations.

– They only copy the market index like Nifty.
– They don’t outperform the market.
– In falling markets, they fall fully.
– No active fund manager to manage risk.
– Inflation can beat index fund returns.

On the other hand:

– Actively managed funds have experienced managers.
– They reduce exposure to weak sectors.
– They increase exposure to strong sectors.
– Over long term, they create better value.

Always go with active mutual funds through a CFP-led advisor.
They help you rebalance and stay on track.

? Why Direct Mutual Funds Are Not Ideal

Direct funds have low expense ratio. But they lack guidance.

– No help with fund selection.
– No review or rebalancing support.
– No risk profiling.
– No hand-holding during market falls.

Investors often panic or stay emotional.
This hurts long-term returns.

On the other hand:

– Regular plans give guidance.
– Through Certified Financial Planner, you get yearly reviews.
– You get portfolio alignment based on goals.
– Mistakes are avoided.

The slightly higher cost is worth the value it brings.
Long-term discipline beats small cost difference.

? What To Review Every Year

Every year, review these points:

– SIP amount and growth
– Fund performance
– Daughter’s goal progress
– Retirement corpus projection
– Changes in income or expenses
– New responsibilities or medical needs
– Emergency fund adequacy

Your planner can guide this review well.
This ensures all your goals stay on track.

? Finally

You are doing very well for your stage in life.

– You have no loans.
– You are disciplined in savings.
– You are planning for your daughter.
– You are thinking of retirement.

This mindset will help you build wealth peacefully.

Follow these steps:

– Stay invested for long term.
– Don’t chase returns.
– Review yearly.
– Invest goal-wise.
– Increase SIPs as income grows.
– Avoid distractions like gold and real estate.
– Avoid mixing insurance and investment.
– Take professional help where needed.

With this, you can confidently build your financial future.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x