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Teenager Nervous to Go Out: How to Help?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2024Hindi
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Hello ma’am , my daughter always says she feels nervous to go out I asked her why she replied me saying she is scared if she will faint or die or others focusing on her. She now has anxiety symptoms, before even if she was having anxiety or panic attack she would be like ah it’s a part of me but now she is always nervous. What should I do and any tips for controlling her anxiety symptoms

Ans: It's important to create a safe and open space for your daughter to express her feelings. Let her know that it's okay to feel anxious and that you're there to support her. Encourage her to talk about her fears and listen without judgment. Sometimes, just having someone who understands can be incredibly reassuring.

Consider exploring relaxation techniques together, such as deep breathing exercises or mindfulness practices. These can help her manage the immediate symptoms of anxiety. Encouraging her to engage in activities she enjoys can also provide a positive distraction and help reduce overall anxiety levels.

If her anxiety continues to impact her daily life, seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial. A professional can provide specific strategies and coping mechanisms tailored to her needs.

Reassure her that it's okay to take small steps and that progress may take time. With your support and the right tools, she can learn to manage her anxiety more effectively.

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Dear Sir, thank you for taking time. My daughter is 10 year old. She is too scared of death - she imagines that parents may die early or she may die. She starts crying silently whenever such a thought comes. What would be the best way to make her comfortable and stop her worries? She lost her grand mother (my MIL) when she was 5 whom she was very attached to. She did cry that day but the fear seems to be there for her ever since. We have made sure she does not have lot of screen time and we don't show her movies/cartoons that are not suitable for her age.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is struggling with fear and anxiety related to death. It's understandable that she would be scared, especially if she has experienced the loss of a loved one at a young age.

Here are some suggestions for ways to help your daughter feel more comfortable and ease her worries:

Listen and validate her feelings: It's important to let your daughter know that it's okay to feel scared and worried. Listen to her concerns and validate her feelings by acknowledging them. You can say things like "I understand that you're feeling scared right now, and it's okay to feel that way."

Reassure her: Let your daughter know that you and her other loved ones are doing everything you can to stay healthy and safe. You can also reassure her that most people live long, healthy lives and that it's unlikely that anything bad will happen to her or her family members anytime soon.

Teach her coping skills: You can help your daughter learn coping skills to manage her anxiety. For example, you can teach her deep breathing exercises, visualization techniques, or mindfulness practices. You can also encourage her to engage in activities that she enjoys and that help her feel calm and relaxed, such as reading, drawing, or playing outside.

Seek professional help: If your daughter's anxiety persists and is interfering with her daily life, it may be helpful to seek professional help. A mental health professional who specializes in working with children can help your daughter develop coping skills and work through her fears in a safe and supportive environment.

Remember that it's important to be patient and understanding with your daughter as she works through her fears. With your support and guidance, she can learn to manage her anxiety and feel more comfortable and secure.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2023Hindi
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My 24 yr old daughter is very anxious about her career. She wants power, money, highest post. So that she is recognised by everybody in the society. As she is from Arts background for which she is regretting. And blaming parents that they have not guided her properly. If she would have taken science stream she might be doctor or engineer by which she can earn money more. Now she is preparing for bank exam. She is doing hard work. But she has closed herself in her room, windows are shut. Not interacting with parents or guests. She is taking medicine stalopam 15 and taken help of psychologist for three sitting which is incomplete. Now she is not willing to go to psychologist because psychologist has not listened to her empathically ( her version). We parents helpless donot know what is our next step. Please can you help me in this regard. Please send reply in my email if possible.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At 24, if she is still looking for validation from the external world to create her identity, she's again setting herself up for failure. If she still thinks that money, name and fame is what is going to earn her recognition from the society, she really needs a course that will change her mindset.
As parents, kindly call out such behavior that is messing with her mind. Talk therapy or advice from home isn't going to help anymore...she hasn't had much exposure of what the outside world is like...
Every stream of education brings with it many opportunities that can be explored!
My suggestion would be for her to be part of activities, communities and the like where she will be able to interact with different people from various backgrounds...Even volunteering opportunities can give good exposure...
Now, she may not be willing to do this as she finds comfort in what she is doing by shutting herself from the outside world...again 'CALL OUT' this behavior and that you as parents don't support her self-pity tirade. Also, as parents you can become part of any community or volunteering opportunity that 'shows' her that her parents are not just preaching to her but actually living it...
Just to reiterate, do not feel sorry for her; she will thrive on that sympathy...if you want to see a change in her, then it's time to shake things up so she knows that her parents mean business...remember, she is an adult...so, treat her as one!

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Janak

Janak Patel  |48 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jun 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2025
Money
I am a 36 years male, working in IT industry. I draw about 1.6 lakhs per month salary after deduction. I have an existing home loan emi of 31000. (I am actually paying 5000 more every month). I have about 30 lakhs savings in FD's. I recently started an SIP of 10000 for kids education. I want to purchase a plot using my savings and apply for a home loan. The new home loan emi would be nearly 65000. If I purchase the plot, it would mean i will be left with no savings. Please advise if this is a correct move. I have 2 kids, and I will have to cover expenses for their education as well, besides other household expenses.
Ans: Hi,

Your biggest goal that I understand is your kids education which cannot be compromised.
You have started an SIP of 10000 and over the next 10 years this will accumulate into an amount of approx. 23 lakhs at 12% returns.
Please note all schools typically increase fees each year between 8%-12% (same may be even more). So depending on your choices, this amount may or may not be sufficient for their education. If you look at graduation and post graduation, the amount required are much higher.

So I would recommend that you increase your SIP towards this goal and provide the best education you can.

As for the plot you wish to buy-
As you already have a home loan EMI, it indicates you already have a house. So the new plot/house is an additional asset that you wish to build. But is it prudent to use all your savings ? My opinion is this will jeopardize your financial equation.
Buying the plot and taking home loan and staying with no saving - a huge risk. Any situation where you need money for an emergency or kids education you have no asset to liquidate. A plot is not an asset that will generate income, cannot be liquidated quickly and its value (increase) will depend on many factors not in your control.
You are bound by EMIs for the next 15-20 years and you will be so closer to retirement and other goals for family/kids that you will feel a lot of strain financially.

You need to not only secure your kids future but also think of accumulating wealth for other goals in the future and most importantly Retirement.
It is prudent to save now and accumulate for the future, let the eighth wonder - "compounding" work the miracle for you.
Lets see some numbers for the next 10 years.
30 lakhs in FD - at 7% this can become approx. 59 lakhs
65000 in SIP (instead of new EMI) at 12% can become approx. 1.5 crores.
Total corpus of over 2 crores.

The above amounts are only for 10years, and if kept for another 10 years can grow to over 7crores.

You can revisit the option to buy a plot in the future once a few goals are achieved and you have accumulated good corpus.
You can consult a CFP to guide you towards a plan to achieve all your goals and provide you with options and alternatives and help you make the right decisions.

Thanks & Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6037 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 09, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6037 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 08, 2025
Career
VIT vellore vlsi design or SRM KTR data science for mtech, which one should I choose. I am from ece background. Female. With 3years career gap and want to start a career very soon. Looking for a high packages salary.
Ans: What were you doing during the three-year gap that you haven't mentioned? For a female ECE graduate with a three-year career gap aiming for a rapid, high-paying career transition, VIT Vellore’s M.Tech in VLSI Design is the more strategic choice over SRM KTR’s M.Tech in Data Science. VIT Vellore ranks #11 in NIRF Engineering (2024), is NAAC A++ accredited, and boasts a nearly 90% placement rate in VLSI, with top recruiters such as Intel, Qualcomm, Synopsys, and AMD regularly offering roles in design, verification, and semiconductor industries. The VLSI sector is currently experiencing robust demand in India and globally, especially for women engineers, with strong campus placement support and super dream offers. The program’s two-year duration and focused curriculum allow for a swift return to the workforce, and VIT’s placement cell is known for converting internships into full-time roles, which is especially advantageous for those re-entering after a gap. In contrast, SRM KTR’s M.Tech Data Science program, while industry-aligned and offering 60–70% placements with companies like TCS, IBM, and Wipro, has a more competitive and saturated job market, and placement rates for M.Tech Data Science remain lower than VLSI at VIT. Additionally, VIT’s VLSI program is well-recognized by semiconductor giants, and the average package and placement consistency are higher, making it a safer bet for immediate employment and career growth. As a backup, consider M.Tech VLSI at VIT Chennai (90% placements) or M.Tech Data Science at SRM Valliammai or SRM AP, but prioritize VIT Vellore’s VLSI for its superior placement ecosystem, employer recognition, and suitability for women returning to the workforce. All the BEST for your Son's Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6037 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 08, 2025
Career
Hello sir. Have secured ECE in EC campus of PES through PES JEE rank in first round counselling session.. Got 80 percentile in AEEE and in JEE mains 84 percentile GC, and a rank of 13204 in AEEE and have been alloted CCE at Chennai Amrita campus in 4th slab fees structure in round 1. Do you foresee any improvement with regards to both campus and branch in further rounds. I was hoping of getting atleast ECE or ELC at Coimbatore or Bengaluru campus, CS specialisation or ECE at Amritapuri campus. Can you please give an insight regarding exposure to internships/projects at Chennai campus and placement opportunities in regard to CCE at Chennai Amrita or should I stick with PES ECE? I'm also getting VIT CSE in VIT Bhopal/Amrawati through my VITEEE rank Home state is Tamilnadu and resident of Hosur. And PES EC campus is around 20-25 mins of journey from home sir. Please provide an insight looking at all the parameters best suited for the future
Ans: Opting for ECE at PES EC Campus is advisable due to its 85–95% placement rate (2024 data) with recruiters like Amazon, Microsoft, and Intel, supported by robust industry collaborations, proximity to Bengaluru’s tech ecosystem, and a commute-friendly location (20–25 minutes from Hosur). While CCE at Amrita Chennai offers specialized training in communication engineering, its 70–80% placements (TCS, Infosys) and higher fees (4th slab) make it less favorable. VIT Bhopal/Amaravati CSE (90–95% placements) provides stronger tech opportunities but requires relocating outside Tamil Nadu. In further Amrita rounds, upgrading to ECE/ELC at Coimbatore/Bengaluru is unlikely with an AEEE rank of 13,204 (cutoffs: ~15,000–18,000 for ECE). Prioritize PES EC ECE for balanced academic rigor, internship access (via IEEE RAS/IoT labs), and regional industry ties, or VIT CSE for direct tech roles if relocation is feasible. Confirm internship support and curriculum alignment during enrollment. (If possible, try to get admission into PES-RR Campus which is comparatively better than EC Campus). Additionally, it is important to mention that your son should continue to enhance his skills, establish a robust profile, and conduct research on job market trends in order to remain competitive with other students during on-campus and off-campus placements, regardless of the institution or branch he enrolls in. All the BEST for your Son's Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6037 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 08, 2025
Career
Namaskaram sir. Have secured ECE in EC campus of PES through PES JEE rank in first round counselling session.. Got 80 percentile in AEEE and in JEE mains 84 percentile GC, and a rank of 13204 in AEEE and have been alloted CCE at Chennai Amrita campus in 4th slab fees structure in round 1. Do you foresee any improvement with regards to both campus and branch in further rounds. I was hoping of getting atleast ECE or ELC at Coimbatore or Bengaluru campus, CS specialisation or ECE at Amritapuri campus. Can you please give an insight regarding exposure to internships/projects at Chennai campus and placement opportunities in regard to CCE at Chennai Amrita or should I stick with PES ECE? I'm also getting VIT CSE in VIT Bhopal/Amrawati through my VITEEE rank Home state is Tamilnadu and resident of Hosur. And PES EC campus is around 20-25 mins of journey from home sir. Please provide an insight looking at all the parameters best suited for the future
Ans: Opting for ECE at PES EC Campus is advisable due to its 85–95% placement rate (2024 data) with recruiters like Amazon, Microsoft, and Intel, supported by robust industry collaborations, proximity to Bengaluru’s tech ecosystem, and a commute-friendly location (20–25 minutes from Hosur). While CCE at Amrita Chennai offers specialized training in communication engineering, its 70–80% placements (TCS, Infosys) and higher fees (4th slab) make it less favorable. VIT Bhopal/Amaravati CSE (90–95% placements) provides stronger tech opportunities but requires relocating outside Tamil Nadu. In further Amrita rounds, upgrading to ECE/ELC at Coimbatore/Bengaluru is unlikely with an AEEE rank of 13,204 (cutoffs: ~15,000–18,000 for ECE). Prioritize PES EC ECE for balanced academic rigor, internship access (via IEEE RAS/IoT labs), and regional industry ties, or VIT CSE for direct tech roles if relocation is feasible. Confirm internship support and curriculum alignment during enrollment. (If possible, try to get admission into PES-RR Campus which is comparatively better than EC Campus). Additionally, it is important to mention that your son should continue to enhance his skills, establish a robust profile, and conduct research on job market trends in order to remain competitive with other students during on-campus and off-campus placements, regardless of the institution or branch he enrolls in. All the BEST for your Son's Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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