Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1350 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 26, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

My 24 yr old daughter is very anxious about her career. She wants power, money, highest post. So that she is recognised by everybody in the society. As she is from Arts background for which she is regretting. And blaming parents that they have not guided her properly. If she would have taken science stream she might be doctor or engineer by which she can earn money more. Now she is preparing for bank exam. She is doing hard work. But she has closed herself in her room, windows are shut. Not interacting with parents or guests. She is taking medicine stalopam 15 and taken help of psychologist for three sitting which is incomplete. Now she is not willing to go to psychologist because psychologist has not listened to her empathically ( her version). We parents helpless donot know what is our next step. Please can you help me in this regard. Please send reply in my email if possible.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At 24, if she is still looking for validation from the external world to create her identity, she's again setting herself up for failure. If she still thinks that money, name and fame is what is going to earn her recognition from the society, she really needs a course that will change her mindset.
As parents, kindly call out such behavior that is messing with her mind. Talk therapy or advice from home isn't going to help anymore...she hasn't had much exposure of what the outside world is like...
Every stream of education brings with it many opportunities that can be explored!
My suggestion would be for her to be part of activities, communities and the like where she will be able to interact with different people from various backgrounds...Even volunteering opportunities can give good exposure...
Now, she may not be willing to do this as she finds comfort in what she is doing by shutting herself from the outside world...again 'CALL OUT' this behavior and that you as parents don't support her self-pity tirade. Also, as parents you can become part of any community or volunteering opportunity that 'shows' her that her parents are not just preaching to her but actually living it...
Just to reiterate, do not feel sorry for her; she will thrive on that sympathy...if you want to see a change in her, then it's time to shake things up so she knows that her parents mean business...remember, she is an adult...so, treat her as one!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Aashish

Aashish Sood  |115 Answers  |Ask -

CAT, Management Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 22, 2023Hindi
Listen
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1350 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I have a daughter of 22 years old who has completed her degree in event management .but it looks she is not happy with her course. some time back my husband health was critical . She had entered into bad friends for a year where she couldn't complete her final year exam but she lied to us.when I kept on asking her .what she used to do in free time and she never worked she has told us so much lie now we are grappling with the situation in this period she started to smoke .Now even if she finds job.she will lie to us .iam really scared to send her abroad for studies.she will not attend the classes.. Whether we should get her married ,or find a job or study .As mother iam worried about her future iam at 60 and my husband health is not permitting take decision. But she smokes now also .when I tell her don't do it.you are a girl not a boy we have to get you married. Should we keep low at this time or should we advice her she is not a child anymore How do we go about this problem.please give us solutions .we love our daughter so much that her life should be settled before we die
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As hard as it may sound, let her take a break from whatever she is doing to figure out what exactly she wants to do in life and with her life.
Clearly, she seems to be disturbed with something that is going on...it could also be that she is worried for her father and youngsters have strange ways of coping which could also include smoking. How will marriage help when she is unsettled in her mind?
Take one step at a time...focus on your husband's health and involve her slowly into home related stuff and also helping you out. She needs a shift of focus into something that is healthy and also surrounded by love which can only be home.
Sending her away only means that you are reprimanding her and she will disconnect from the family which then will make it harder for all of you.
So, in short, let her take a break from whatever she is doing. It's okay to do that!
Involve her at home and when she feels the love and support from home, she herself will be in a place to decide what to do next...it's like providing an anchor to the ship to dock itself...Give her that time...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |127 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

Listen
Health
My daughter right now age is 24 . From her childhood days she has problem in understanding basic facts ...she was not good in studies and perhaps she realized that she was not going well in studies cornered herself , as a result no friendship was developed with anybody. IQ test was done in Nair hospital in Mumbai and found a touch of autistic but not severe and doctors said she has to build up social skill to improve herself . with help of writers she passed out ssc from JK School thane followed by HSC & bca As she not fit for higher studies and lacks interest for higher studies , we did not force her to do higher studies . Recent improvement is noticed in communication skill but lacks maturity in terms of her age ( vis a vis today's G age group) She perhaps sings more a less well and we admitted her in Suresh wadkar's Ajivadsn musical academy for sastriya sangeet programe in thane branch and perhaps with songs her language is developed a bit . Communication in eng , Hindi & Bengali as such ok but lacks speaking skills .. But , we think , if she is joined in a group where skill development takes place , where she can find girls of her category in which she may find a different skill suits her interest ( which we are not aware ) . We noticed her understanding skill & expression of thoughts are better but at 24 there is some obstacles Since , she is our only daughter , we are concerned and seek advise to meet right person / organisations for proper guidance for welfare of daughter as ,we think, if enrolled in a particular course / put into activities for skill development programmes ( of her interest) her self esteem factors can increase and better mould is possible Kindly understand n guide Thanks
Ans: It sounds like you’ve made thoughtful and supportive choices for your daughter’s growth, especially through music, which is helping her communication skills blossom. To further nurture her social skills, self-esteem, and interests, several steps might be particularly beneficial. Connecting with nearby NGOs and parent support associations could be a valuable starting point, as many offer structured programs that focus on building social skills, independent living skills, and even employment readiness for young adults with autism. These organizations can provide both community support and access to programs specifically tailored for people with similar abilities, allowing her to meet others and gain confidence in a comfortable setting.

Skill development centers in Mumbai and Thane, such as the **Ummeed Child Development Center** and **ADAPT** (Able Disabled All People Together), offer training in social integration and vocational skills for adults with mild autism. **Forum for Autism** also provides a network of resources, connecting parents to organizations that support developmental growth through group activities and workshops. In addition to these centers, social skills workshops are often very helpful for young adults, focusing on conversation skills, self-expression, and managing social interactions in a supportive group setting. These structured interactions can be key to building maturity and self-confidence.

If she has specific interests, vocational training programs that offer hands-on experience or internships can be valuable in exploring new strengths and areas of interest. If you’d like additional details on specific organizations or need help finding associations nearby, I’d be glad to assist further.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |741 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Listen
Money
What happens when a Mutual Fund company shuts down / gets sold off?
Ans: Hello;

If a mutual fund company gets sold or fails, the process is prescribed by SEBI:

In case MF company is Sold,
The new fund house may:
1. Continue the scheme with a new name and management.

2. Merge the scheme with similar funds and offer investors the option to exit without any exit load.

In case MF company shuts down,
The fund house will:
1. Pay out investors based on the fund's last recorded Net Asset Value (NAV) and the number of units the investor holds, after deducting expenses.

2. If the company is not in a position to do so then SEBI may liquidate the funds assets and distribute the proceeds to unit holders.

It is also pertinent to note that mutual fund regulation in India is one of the most stringent and hence best, from investor's point of view, globally.

This is not just in theory. We have seen how the Franklin Templeton abrupt closure of debt funds was handled with surgical precision, by SEBI, with no loss to unitholders.


Skin in the game regulation mandates that 20% salary of key mutual fund personnel and fund managers is paid in terms of units of their funds with a 3 year lock-in.

The stocks and bonds purchased by the AMC for the fund are held by a custodian, appointed by the trust that administers the fund.

The trust engages into a investment management agreement with the AMC for managing the fund as per their mandate and within regulatory guidelines.

Registrar and Transfer Agents handle the investor registration,kyc, maintaining records, providing account and tax statements etc.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |450 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, my wife is Ugandan and I’m of English national, 30 years old and she’s 26, we met nearly a year ago and got married in uk with some of her friends and small family. We haven’t done kuchala (not sure if that’s correct spelling) yet and I’m feeling anxious for when the time comes. She said her family will kneel when they greet me and being white this is already stinging my moral (due to history). I also talked about moving in together before the meet the parents happen however she says she’s rather move in after? Currently this could take two years before going to Uganda, how should I proceed without overstepping her cultural beliefs as after all we are married and by my culture we should already be living together
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is very nice of you to be so considerate and sensitive while handling these cultural nuances. Let's discuss the kneeling tradition. It's a sign of respect and it's deeply rooted in Ugandan culture. While I understand your point of view, you also have to remember that it can have significant meaning to her and her family. I suggest you politely express your feelings and let her know why it is uncomfortable for you to see her family kneel. When you explain, mention how much her culture means to you as well. I am sure both of you can communicate and come to a compromise that makes you both happy. Just in case, they persist in following the ritual, just look at it as a gesture of love and respect and not submission.

About the moving in together part, in certain parts of the world, couples living together before the traditional wedding is not considered respectful. But since you are already married, you can try explaining to your wife how the living situation does not go against her cultural expectations. But if it is a really big deal for her and her family, consider seeing it from her perspective.

Communication is everything here. Look at every problem as a team; it's not your problem vs her problem. It's both of you vs the problems.

I hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x