Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1572 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 26, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

My 24 yr old daughter is very anxious about her career. She wants power, money, highest post. So that she is recognised by everybody in the society. As she is from Arts background for which she is regretting. And blaming parents that they have not guided her properly. If she would have taken science stream she might be doctor or engineer by which she can earn money more. Now she is preparing for bank exam. She is doing hard work. But she has closed herself in her room, windows are shut. Not interacting with parents or guests. She is taking medicine stalopam 15 and taken help of psychologist for three sitting which is incomplete. Now she is not willing to go to psychologist because psychologist has not listened to her empathically ( her version). We parents helpless donot know what is our next step. Please can you help me in this regard. Please send reply in my email if possible.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At 24, if she is still looking for validation from the external world to create her identity, she's again setting herself up for failure. If she still thinks that money, name and fame is what is going to earn her recognition from the society, she really needs a course that will change her mindset.
As parents, kindly call out such behavior that is messing with her mind. Talk therapy or advice from home isn't going to help anymore...she hasn't had much exposure of what the outside world is like...
Every stream of education brings with it many opportunities that can be explored!
My suggestion would be for her to be part of activities, communities and the like where she will be able to interact with different people from various backgrounds...Even volunteering opportunities can give good exposure...
Now, she may not be willing to do this as she finds comfort in what she is doing by shutting herself from the outside world...again 'CALL OUT' this behavior and that you as parents don't support her self-pity tirade. Also, as parents you can become part of any community or volunteering opportunity that 'shows' her that her parents are not just preaching to her but actually living it...
Just to reiterate, do not feel sorry for her; she will thrive on that sympathy...if you want to see a change in her, then it's time to shake things up so she knows that her parents mean business...remember, she is an adult...so, treat her as one!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Aashish

Aashish Sood  | Answer  |Ask -

CAT, Management Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 22, 2023Hindi
Listen
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1572 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I have a daughter of 22 years old who has completed her degree in event management .but it looks she is not happy with her course. some time back my husband health was critical . She had entered into bad friends for a year where she couldn't complete her final year exam but she lied to us.when I kept on asking her .what she used to do in free time and she never worked she has told us so much lie now we are grappling with the situation in this period she started to smoke .Now even if she finds job.she will lie to us .iam really scared to send her abroad for studies.she will not attend the classes.. Whether we should get her married ,or find a job or study .As mother iam worried about her future iam at 60 and my husband health is not permitting take decision. But she smokes now also .when I tell her don't do it.you are a girl not a boy we have to get you married. Should we keep low at this time or should we advice her she is not a child anymore How do we go about this problem.please give us solutions .we love our daughter so much that her life should be settled before we die
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As hard as it may sound, let her take a break from whatever she is doing to figure out what exactly she wants to do in life and with her life.
Clearly, she seems to be disturbed with something that is going on...it could also be that she is worried for her father and youngsters have strange ways of coping which could also include smoking. How will marriage help when she is unsettled in her mind?
Take one step at a time...focus on your husband's health and involve her slowly into home related stuff and also helping you out. She needs a shift of focus into something that is healthy and also surrounded by love which can only be home.
Sending her away only means that you are reprimanding her and she will disconnect from the family which then will make it harder for all of you.
So, in short, let her take a break from whatever she is doing. It's okay to do that!
Involve her at home and when she feels the love and support from home, she herself will be in a place to decide what to do next...it's like providing an anchor to the ship to dock itself...Give her that time...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |152 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

Listen
Health
My daughter right now age is 24 . From her childhood days she has problem in understanding basic facts ...she was not good in studies and perhaps she realized that she was not going well in studies cornered herself , as a result no friendship was developed with anybody. IQ test was done in Nair hospital in Mumbai and found a touch of autistic but not severe and doctors said she has to build up social skill to improve herself . with help of writers she passed out ssc from JK School thane followed by HSC & bca As she not fit for higher studies and lacks interest for higher studies , we did not force her to do higher studies . Recent improvement is noticed in communication skill but lacks maturity in terms of her age ( vis a vis today's G age group) She perhaps sings more a less well and we admitted her in Suresh wadkar's Ajivadsn musical academy for sastriya sangeet programe in thane branch and perhaps with songs her language is developed a bit . Communication in eng , Hindi & Bengali as such ok but lacks speaking skills .. But , we think , if she is joined in a group where skill development takes place , where she can find girls of her category in which she may find a different skill suits her interest ( which we are not aware ) . We noticed her understanding skill & expression of thoughts are better but at 24 there is some obstacles Since , she is our only daughter , we are concerned and seek advise to meet right person / organisations for proper guidance for welfare of daughter as ,we think, if enrolled in a particular course / put into activities for skill development programmes ( of her interest) her self esteem factors can increase and better mould is possible Kindly understand n guide Thanks
Ans: It sounds like you’ve made thoughtful and supportive choices for your daughter’s growth, especially through music, which is helping her communication skills blossom. To further nurture her social skills, self-esteem, and interests, several steps might be particularly beneficial. Connecting with nearby NGOs and parent support associations could be a valuable starting point, as many offer structured programs that focus on building social skills, independent living skills, and even employment readiness for young adults with autism. These organizations can provide both community support and access to programs specifically tailored for people with similar abilities, allowing her to meet others and gain confidence in a comfortable setting.

Skill development centers in Mumbai and Thane, such as the **Ummeed Child Development Center** and **ADAPT** (Able Disabled All People Together), offer training in social integration and vocational skills for adults with mild autism. **Forum for Autism** also provides a network of resources, connecting parents to organizations that support developmental growth through group activities and workshops. In addition to these centers, social skills workshops are often very helpful for young adults, focusing on conversation skills, self-expression, and managing social interactions in a supportive group setting. These structured interactions can be key to building maturity and self-confidence.

If she has specific interests, vocational training programs that offer hands-on experience or internships can be valuable in exploring new strengths and areas of interest. If you’d like additional details on specific organizations or need help finding associations nearby, I’d be glad to assist further.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nidhi

Nidhi Gupta  |200 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

Listen
Health
Hello, Myself Apurba ,43 Y male. Have no disease, weight 68 Kg, height 5.5". I have always been associated with sports. Recently I am preparing for 21 KM marathon. I run 35 KM in field in 07 days with 02 days off (5 days * 07 km average) . I have successfully completed 10 KM marathon recently. Many are objecting me to run these much to protect my knee joint, cartilage etc. But I don't feel any issue , rather I feel so energised although the day. Please let me know if I am harming my knee unknowingly. Please suggest any precautions to be followed so that I can take care of my joints and keep continuing my running. I also do light strength training in parallel with running.
Ans: Hello Rajib,
It is good to know that you are so fit overall.
At times yes excessive running can harm the soft tissues of the knees.
These are the precautions you may take:
1) Please ensure you are taking your Vit D3, Calcium and multivitamin supplements as prescribed
2) A good 10 minutes warm up before running and 10 minutes of cool down via stretches is a must
3) A gentle sesame oil massage around the knee and muscles connected to it is good to do once a week
4) Please ensure you do some form of core exercises. You may learn these from a trainer or physiotherapist. As when core is strong the impact on the knees is lesser.
5) Please keep yourself well hydrated especially during runs
If even the slightest pain comes up take adequate rest!
All the best to become fitter than ever before.
Warm regards,
Dr Nidhi Bajaj Gupta
www.merahkiwellness.com
Insta: merahki_holisticwellness

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

Listen
Money
Sir, My name is Ankit and i am 32 year old. Sir i invest 3000rupees per month for next 5 year in Axis max Nifty 500momentum 50 fund. Is it right to invest in this fund for a long time?
Ans: Your investment of Rs. 3,000 per month in Axis Nifty 500 Momentum 50 Fund for the next 5 years needs careful evaluation. Since you are 32 years old, your investment horizon can be long-term.

Let’s assess whether this fund is the right choice.

Understanding Your Investment
Fund Type: Index-based momentum fund

Investment Style: Follows momentum strategy within Nifty 500

Your SIP Amount: Rs. 3,000 per month

Investment Tenure: 5 years (as per your plan)

Your Age: 32 (long-term horizon possible)

Momentum funds invest in stocks that have recently shown strong performance. These funds can outperform in bullish phases but may underperform in volatile or bearish markets.

Is This Fund Suitable for Long-Term Investment?
1. Momentum Strategy is Cyclical
This fund invests in stocks that have performed well recently.

If market trends change, it may struggle to maintain returns.

Not ideal as a core long-term portfolio holding.

2. High Volatility and Risk
Momentum funds have higher risk than diversified equity funds.

In falling markets, momentum stocks drop sharply.

3. Index-Based Strategy Limits Flexibility
This fund is passively managed and cannot adjust based on market trends.

Actively managed funds can perform better in different cycles.

4. 5-Year Horizon is Short for Equity
Equity investments work best for 7+ years.

If you need money in 5 years, debt funds or balanced funds are better.

Better Approach for Your Investment
1. Diversify into Actively Managed Funds
Instead of relying on a single index-based momentum fund, diversify.

Large & multi-cap funds can provide stability with growth.

Mid-cap & flexi-cap funds can generate higher returns with controlled risk.

2. Extend Investment Horizon
Instead of stopping after 5 years, consider SIP for 10+ years.

Equity needs long duration to generate wealth.

3. Review and Rebalance Annually
If fund performance is inconsistent, shift to a better option.

Avoid locking yourself into one strategy for too long.

Final Insights
Axis Nifty 500 Momentum 50 Fund is not ideal as a standalone long-term investment.

Momentum strategy works in bull markets but struggles in volatility.

Instead of investing in only one fund, diversify into actively managed funds.

If your horizon is just 5 years, equity funds carry risk. Debt or hybrid funds can be better.

Review your goals and adjust your investment accordingly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi, I am 47. want to start monthly SIP of Rs 50,000. I am not a risk taker and happy with 12-15% annual return. Can you please suggest best plans & combinations.
Ans: You want to invest Rs. 50,000 per month through SIP. You prefer lower risk and expect 12-15% annual returns.

A structured mutual fund portfolio can help balance risk and returns.

Understanding Your Investment Profile
Age: 47 years

Risk Tolerance: Low (not a risk taker)

Return Expectation: 12-15% annually

Investment Horizon: Long-term SIP (10+ years)

Preferred Investment Mode: Monthly SIP of Rs. 50,000

Your return expectation suggests a mix of equity and debt. But low risk means avoiding pure small-cap or mid-cap funds.

Suggested SIP Allocation (Rs. 50,000 per Month)
A 60:40 equity-to-debt ratio is ideal for your risk level.

Equity Mutual Funds – Rs. 30,000 (60%)
Large & Multi-Cap Funds (Rs. 20,000): Stability with growth potential

Sectoral or Thematic Funds (Rs. 10,000): Targeted growth in strong industries

Debt Mutual Funds – Rs. 20,000 (40%)
Corporate Bond or Dynamic Bond Funds (Rs. 15,000): Lower volatility, predictable returns

Short-Term Debt Funds (Rs. 5,000): For liquidity and lower risk

Why This Allocation?
Large & Multi-Cap Funds reduce risk while capturing market growth.

Debt Funds provide stability and lower market-linked volatility.

Sectoral Funds add controlled growth exposure.

This balance can help achieve your 12-15% return expectation.

Additional Considerations
1. Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for Future Income
After 10-15 years, convert part of equity into SWP for regular income.

Ensure withdrawals are tax-efficient.

2. Portfolio Review Every Year
Check fund performance annually.

Rebalance if required to maintain risk balance.

3. Tax Efficiency
Equity Gains: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

Debt Gains: Taxed as per your income slab.

Final Insights
A mix of equity and debt reduces risk while achieving your return goals.

Large & multi-cap funds provide stability, and debt funds add safety.

Annual reviews help adjust strategy as per market conditions.

SWP after 10+ years can convert SIPs into passive income.

This plan aligns with your risk profile and expected returns.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |569 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am in relationship with a girl for 6 year but now her parents almost fix her arrange marriage and they dont care about her choice they didnot even consider her opinion about the boy they met ..except her everyone in family like the boy because he is rich and handling his father business and here i am i dont have job i am preparing for government job i asked her family please give me some time i,ll get the job this year but they say we cant agree for the possibility of you getting job or not and her mother say we dont allow intercaste marriage i am sc and she is general and pandit .. i am 26year old what should i do .. i think ab uske parents jada jaldi krre hai shadi k loye because unhone merse baat krli to unko dhr hai ki m kuch esa vsa na krdu jisse unki society me respect vghra ko khtra hoga isliye or vo jada rishtedaro ki sunre hai... mne apni gf ko bola hai ki filhal jb tk job nhi lgti meri tb tk unhe boldo ki mere sath ab kuch nhi h that she blocks me or vo apni side se tb tk rishtey ko mna krti rhe pr uske ghr vale uska opinion about boy consider hi ni krre hai jo unke rishtedaro ne discuss krliya ladka thik h to unhone usko haan boldi ... mujhe kya krna chaiye...her parents do all emotional blackmail to her as today they even touched her feet and said hme pta h tere liye kya shi h hmne tko pala h kuch bhi esa nhi krdio jisse hmari ijat khrab hojaye m pagal hojaunga
Ans: The real question here is not just about her parents—it's about her. If she truly wants to be with you, she needs to resist this marriage and make it clear that she does not consent. But if she is unable to stand up to them, then you need to ask yourself if you want to keep fighting for someone who is not fighting alongside you. Love is powerful, but it cannot survive if only one person is struggling to keep it alive.

Right now, you need to have an honest conversation with her. Ask her directly if she is ready to resist or if she is feeling too pressured to fight back. If she wants to be with you but is feeling trapped, you both need to find a way to delay or stop this marriage. But if she is already giving in to their pressure, then you need to start preparing yourself for the painful truth that she may not choose you in the end.

At the same time, focus on your own stability. Your career is not just about proving her family wrong—it is about securing your future and self-worth. No matter what happens with this relationship, you need to build a life where no one can ever make you feel like you are not good enough again. It is not easy to walk away from love, but sometimes, choosing yourself is the only way forward.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |569 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Listen
Relationship
Hi ma'am my relationship with my parents r getting sour since a very long time they always want me to do everything that makes them happy and think about their happiness if I think about my happiness they will start fighting with me nd my parents never supported me for anything in my life till today my dad has always said that if she will ever think about her happiness then I'm gonna leave everything nd go nd so does my mom she also threatened me to cut ties with me even I do everything still they taunt me every day that I can't do anything in life my parents never support me they never ask me who I wanna get married to who I'll b happy with what I wanna work what is my goals ngt but it's always about them my grandmother stays 15kms away from my house she has 3 kids and all r well settled but her 2 daughters had a love marriage one to a muslim nd one to a hindu when they were about to get married my mom didn't even raised her voice or opposed that marriage her one daughter ran nd got married to her bf who is a hindu at that tym also my mom nd dad nd my grandmother didn't even say a word nd during Covid 2020 my grandmother got her 2nd daughter married with her bf who is a muslim without informing any of our relatives when I fell in love with a hindu guy my mom separated me from him and she is telling everyone to brainwash me to leave the person I love nd get married to a Christian guy when ever we go to my grandmother's house my mom always start a fight with me we went there for 3 times and all the 3 times she started fighting with me my mom always support my grandmother's children if anything happens to them she will call them 10 tyms and ask how they are when my grandmother was ill treating me my mom didn't even raise her voice nd didn't even take a stand for myself but she was watching everything as a movie is going on when I was crying after we came back to my house my mom didn't even ask me what am I going through when she was seeing me cry everyday she always support my grandmother who did bad with me if they will say not to let her work my mom will listen to her nd her daughters but she will never listen to me and my grandmother started forcing me to get married to a Christian guy nd i should also listen to her nd not to think about my happiness nd what makes me happy in life what should I do I'm completely shattered ma'am nd i don't have anyone to share my pain with even if I do they will support my parents only bcoz of all this I'm not able to concentrate on anything at all
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
Right now, your emotions are tangled in hurt, anger, and helplessness, but you are not powerless. The first thing you need to do is detach emotionally from their guilt-tripping. You cannot live your entire life trying to please people who refuse to acknowledge your needs. It’s okay to love and respect your parents, but not at the cost of losing yourself.

Start setting boundaries, even if it feels impossible at first. If they constantly taunt you, limit conversations with them. If they threaten to cut ties, remind yourself that love should not be conditional. If they refuse to support you, find strength within yourself. You are already surviving without their emotional backing, which means you are stronger than you think.

As for your relationship, you need to ask yourself—are you willing to sacrifice your happiness just to avoid family drama? If you truly love this person and see a future together, you will need to stand firm in your decision. Love requires courage, and choosing your happiness is not selfish—it’s necessary.

You are not alone in this. Many people fight similar battles with families who refuse to understand. But at the end of the day, this is your life. You deserve love, respect, and the right to make your own choices. No matter what happens, never let their words make you believe you are unworthy of happiness. Keep fighting for yourself, because you deserve it.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x