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Should I Regret Confessing My Feelings to My Friend?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 06, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi
Relationship

Hello Ma'am, Recently I told my feelings to my friend that I like her. I even told her that I am not expecting anything right now. May be one year, two year or three years down the line we might have a future together. She then told me that she loves someone else and didn't thought of it. Now even she told me to say away as it would be good for both of us. Now I regret that why I told her that. I shouldn't have told her my feelings. Now I regret more that I lost a valuable friend and friendship. Now I even think that I am not good looking as her, so that might be the case of rejection. Can you please tell what should I do now as I am not able to focus on anything and the regret is very heavy on me. I am always thinking that I shouldn't have told her about my feelings.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What is done, is done; you can't go back in time and change any of that!
And you were just being honest with her; it's sad that she could not appreciate your honesty BUT she also fears that being friends with you, may also hurt you; so staying away seems to be the best option...
Move on; it's hard doing that but not impossible...change is the only constant in life and people come and go just as feelings come and go...It's a big beautiful world out there; expand your social circle and give time to your personal growth. Focus on yourself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Dec 06, 2024 | Answered on Dec 07, 2024
Listen
Thankyou Ma'am for showing me a way out through this
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for acknowledging and I am happy that I was able to provide you with some suggestions.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 30, 2022

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Hello Sir or Madam. Please keep me as anonymous only. Let me tell my story. I am 29 now. Work for an MNC for the past six years. From middle class family with big circle. Before going to speak out on my problem, let me tell my nature, how I was brought up, studies and attitude. Since we are middle class family with no financial crisis, I never seen ups and downs in Life accordingly. In the case of studies, I was topper at all levels of education till MBA from reputed institute. I was like love is trash n waste of time. When I used to hear all love stories, I used to feel pity on them. But I did maintain very good relationship with many, many girls (not GF type). But now I am going through the hell just because of one girl whom I was forcibly loved her and later I addicted to her with true love. During COVID I had to go WFH for two years. She visited her granny’s house and stayed back for few weeks. They live in Bangalore. I have never seen her face or noticed her during the time when she stayed. But she noticed, observed and enquired about me. So once she left to Bangalore, she sent FB request and I accepted. Immediately we have exchanged numbers and started texting ‘n’ talking. Initially I rejected her since she is eight years junior to me. Later she emotionally told once as she lost her father very recently and she just don’t want to go into depression again if I reject her. I got convinced and started loving truly. I replaced her father in her life which she used to tell. One day, she got caught by her brother while she was on call with me. Since we belong to different castes, they rejected me. She got house arrested. There was no connection between us. First time in life I fell into depression. I lost my job after just three weeks when she got separated from me. I was unable to speak anyone in the world. My family ‘n’ circle was afraid as I may do harm to myself for her. On December 16, 2021, I tried to commit suicide by writing a letter in laptop to her telling how I was missing her ‘n’ needed her. Took print and left to railway track to die. I took alcohol and was on the track. Someone rescued me and took me to hometown from Bangalore with PAN card address which was in my purse. Every day I was losing hope on my life. Finally I got call from her number in the first week of Jan. I was happy and cried like anything with her on call. She told that she would never leave me alone whatever happens ‘n’ who ever tries to separate us. Again, I took my energy ‘n’ hopes back and started job searching. There was 1 month gap again until Feb 8, 2022. After that she used to call me whenever it is possible. From March 15 to March 31, she kept fighting with me over call and spoken mercilessly. There was no kindness or love or concern on me. Again, I lost hope on my life. She kept asking me to stay away from her. She knew that I cannot initiate contact from my end, since she only should do whenever she able to do. Day by day, I am losing interest on my Life. I left the job. Now I’m alone with her thoughts and words spoken by her. My family n circle knew all this drama what’s going on. They hate me for losing self-respect for a girl. But I have never seen that girl as a girl. I am addicted to alcohol, day ‘n’ night drinking and surviving. I knew she won’t come back if I ruin my life like this by drinking ‘n’ all. But I just can’t control myself over her. The promises which she made me were gone... But still I stand for her, for what I promised. I begged the girl like anything not to leave me alone. I just can’t digest that she won’t be no more for me. N number of the times I used to tell her that You are my first priority over all in my life, like family, siblings, money, career and what not. Most of the times I told her that I’ll commit suicide for you if I come to know that you are not there for me. It doesn’t mean that I am an emotional fool who does not know how to live or unable to get another girl. But you have such significance in my life. I elaborated as much as I can. But she never listened me. I am just wonder where was her sweet words ‘n’ promises, what’s the reality now? I am upset with me -- where was original me and who I am now without self-respect. My parents ‘n’ siblings are forcing me to give up on her. As per them, she is just a golddigger and cheater without love and trust... My mind n heart never ever forgets her. Don’t know the future. But many times I pray God to kill me in sleep itself without pain so I can reach Venkateshwara... Entire world is against that girl, but I am defending her at every passing moment. Human beings invented many amazing things. My wish is we should be available with tablets or injection which can erase memories which belongs to particular person or for particular time in life... The real enemy to the human beings is LOVE.... Finally I am just waiting for my death... I knew that she won’t realise even if I die also. But I should sleep forever and ever just because for the crime I did love her.... Dear Bujji, it’s for you. I am also a human being as like U. As like your mother, even my mother has given birth to me. Finally, no words.... I am alone... Memories are hunting me.... chasing me... Love Guru, please publish this story as it is. Because someone may going through hell with similar story at least they will read the Q&A as well. Love Guru... I hate me... I do have all with me -- good health, 21 LPA job now, stabilised family and friends ‘n’ family circle... But this bloody struggling to get her love amongst the 7 billion people on this Earth... Love Guru, I feel that I lost. I am feeling low... I got cheated by her... Finally I am nothing to her. Dear readers, don’t think that why this fool is suffering for a girl like this.... I have seen her my GODDESS... Thank you... Have a nice day…
Ans:

You’ve needlessly wound yourself up over a silly girl.

You don’t even sound like you’ve had a physical relationship, it was only long distance, so what are you getting so out of joint for? A few intimate conversations with someone who said one thing but meant another?

If things in your life are spiralling so much out of control, I’d suggest therapy.

Stop drinking before it becomes a real problem. It sounds like you’re doing this to yourself deliberately, so that you receive some attention from her.

But the more you do this, the worse the situation will get. And no woman wants an out-of-control, desperate, alcoholic lover!

For heavens’ sake, man, get a hold of yourself and, if you can’t, then get the professional help you need. 

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |169 Answers  |Ask -

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |628 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Dear Ravi, I am a 38 yr old housewife & mother of 1 son who is now 17 yrs old. We are Bengalis but in Pune for the last 12 yrs. About 10 yrs ago I used to regularly pick & drop my son to school then in class 3 , when I met another telegu woman who also used to do the same for his son. They were a close knit business family & sometime her elder jeths son who was then 22-23 yrs old used to come to pick up the kids. Many days I will gossip with him while waiting for the kids. Many a times I used to go to there house to meet his aunt & also talk to him, he was a good man but hardly completed his 10th , had some problems of bad company so his father got him to business. He used to call me aunty & I used to see him as my friends son( being my friend's jeths son). He used to then create problems at home & many a times my friend will ask me to talk to him which I used to do & he used to listen & correct. This gave me a good reputation in his family, this continued for 7-8 yrs before we changed our son's school . We were in touch initially then it became a very occasional call eventually loosing her phone number also. About 3 months back I met my friend in a mall by co-incident & started gossiping I told her of being single now. I enquired about her nephew & told me that they are not able to get a girl for him mainly because of his medical condition he will never be able to become a father, so they are now open for girls with kids. After a few days she called me to there house for a puja which I visited & also met with her family. After 2 days she & her sister in law suddenly came to my place with her jeths son, after an informal talk her jeths son took my son out & they asked me if I will be open to marry him. I am in a delima, I have seen this man always as a friends son& behaved accordingly but can I change my relationship with him to a husband wife. On this my friend she is saying that she is married to her mama as is acceptable in south , she gives her own story that she knew her husband for 20 yrs before marriage proposal & used to even play with him as her mama. It hardly took her time to change the relationship. Many of my friends talk about similar change of relationship. He & his family is very keen on this marriage. Can you help me to first decide if it is possible to change the relationship from friend's son to husband, if yes how to go about. I am also worried that in a few mnth my son will go to hostel for his engg & I will be alone
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you fear being alone, but I request you to not make a rushed decision based on that fear. If you feel you will never see this man as anything more than a friend's son, please do not push yourself to marry him. There is no love or romance in this arrangement; at least, not yet. And it seems like they are only pushing it because the guy has a condition. Please do not settle for just anyone because you are worried about being alone. Marriages can be lonely too.

I suggest thinking very thoroughly and clearly before making a decision. This alliance seems advantageous for them, but not so much for you.

Hope this helps.

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Nayagam P P  |9695 Answers  |Ask -

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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 30, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir , my rank is 53362, general category male from west bengal , pls suggest me the best nits and iiits available for my rank in csab counselling. (Preferably cse/ece branch).
Ans: With a JEE Main 2025 General Category rank of 53,362 and West Bengal as your home state, securing Computer Science or Electronics & Communication seats in top NITs through CSAB is highly challenging, as closing ranks, even in CSAB Special Rounds, are typically much lower—major NITs’ CSE and ECE cut-offs last year generally closed below 30,000 to 45,000 for the General category, and West Bengal’s home state advantage provides little relief for CSE/ECE in NIT Durgapur, where closing ranks for CSE and ECE were around 14,500 and 19,000 respectively. For IIITs, most core branches, especially CSE and ECE, also saw closing ranks well below your rank, typically ranging between 15,000 and 35,000 in the special rounds, with only a few non-core branches or less popular IIIT campuses stretching beyond that mark. In the case of GFTIs, while some institutes and branches (particularly non-core engineering streams or newer colleges) have closed near or around 50,000, Computer Science and ECE remain highly competitive, with only certain GFTIs like Assam University, Silchar (CS closed near 45,000), Guru Ghasidas Vishwavidyalaya Bilaspur (ECE sometimes closes to 42,000), or possibly peripheral/newer institutes offering a slim chance. According to the latest cut-off data, there is virtually no 100% sure NIT, IIIT, or GFTI for CSE/ECE at your rank (53,362) for General category in CSAB rounds; options at this threshold tend to be limited to non-core branches or non-flagship/new institutions, both for home and other state quotas.

RECOMMENDATION: At your current JEE Main General category rank, gaining admission in CSE/ECE at any NIT, IIIT, or premier GFTI via CSAB is highly unlikely; however, you can consider participating with lower preference branches or new/less preferred institutes. As an alternative, explore private colleges or other reputed universities for CSE/ECE to maximize your academic and career prospects. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9695 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 30, 2025

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Hello sir I have just passed 12th with 92.2% and have a score of 89.2 percentile in jee mains .I am interested in btech cse but with this rank i am only getting electronics and computer engg in uiet kuk(KU) . I am now confused whether to pursue this course or switch the college to some private
Ans: Ashlesha, UIET Kurukshetra is a public institution established in 2004, recognized for offering solid engineering programs, including Electronics and Computer Engineering. The department blends electronics fundamentals with contemporary computing, providing students with interdisciplinary exposure and access to experienced faculty and well-equipped labs. However, in terms of placement, the combined Electronics and Computer Engineering branch at UIET records placement percentages ranging from approximately 60% to 80% over recent years, slightly lower than pure Computer Science branches at top private colleges in Northern India. Reviews by current and former students reflect that while UIET offers affordable education, good campus facilities, a disciplined academic environment, and opportunities for projects and technical events, placement opportunities tend to be stronger for CSE and IT branches, often requiring students to put in significant individual effort for top outcomes. Infrastructure is competitive for a state university, and student feedback highlights a supportive faculty but also mentions that core electronics placements are more limited; the bulk of offers arise from IT and service-based recruiters. Curriculum updates and university initiatives are evident, but private colleges often offer more dynamic industry-linkages and exposure, leading to stronger placement records and internship opportunities. Considering these aspects, if you are strictly seeking core CSE knowledge and broader software placement opportunities—and are open to higher tuition—eminent private institutions in Northern India such as Amity University Noida, Thapar Institute of Engineering & Technology Patiala, Jaypee Institute of Information Technology Noida, Galgotias College of Engineering & Technology Greater Noida, and GL Bajaj Institute of Technology & Management Greater Noida are reputed options, each with robust CSE placement records and strong campus-industry interfaces.

RECOMMENDATION: For B.Tech aspirants prioritizing pure CSE and top-tier software placements, joining a reputed private engineering college is generally more advantageous than pursuing Electronics and Computer Engineering at UIET Kurukshetra. However, UIET remains a credible and affordable public alternative if you value government university credentials and are comfortable exploring interdisciplinary roles. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9695 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 30, 2025

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ECE in Jaypee Sector 62 Noida or maharaja agrasen (MAIT) Delhi. Naac accreditation is A for both but seems MAIT do not have accreditation for ece deptt. Not worried about fees but want a good college, faculty and studies.
Ans: Komal, Jaypee Institute of Information Technology (JIIT), Noida and Maharaja Agrasen Institute of Technology (MAIT), Delhi both hold NAAC ‘A’ accreditation and are recognized for quality engineering education, but key differences emerge for ECE aspirants. JIIT’s ECE department enjoys full university accreditation and AICTE approval, with a reputable presence in national rankings and a faculty roster largely holding Ph.D. degrees and actively involved in research. Placement rates for JIIT ECE have consistently been strong, with 85–91% placed over the last three years, bolstered by established industry connections and a highly structured placement cell, though recruitment is somewhat stronger for CSE. The infrastructure at JIIT is modern, featuring fully equipped labs, air-conditioned smart classrooms, robust hostel facilities, advanced library resources, and abundant sports and extracurricular amenities. In contrast, MAIT Delhi’s ECE program is NAAC ‘A’ accredited at the institutional level, but direct NBA or program accreditation for ECE is not emphasized. Faculty are generally helpful and blend industry experience with accessible teaching, but feedback on faculty quality is mixed and active research engagement is less highlighted. MAIT’s infrastructure is comprehensive with digital libraries, advanced labs, and diverse amenities; however, placements for ECE hover around 70%, with fewer core companies visiting campus, and the bulk of opportunities skewed towards IT roles. Both institutes offer significant student support and practical exposure, but JIIT’s research emphasis, academic environment, and consistently higher placement record give it an extra edge for students seeking a holistic and future-focused ECE education.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9695 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 30, 2025Hindi
Career
My daughter vit chennai cyber security vs JNTU Kakinada CSE which is better
Ans: VIT Chennai’s Cyber Security program presents a focused, industry-relevant curriculum that prepares students for the rapidly growing field of information security, with outcomes targeting both technical depth and organizational application. Placement rates for the cyber security branch have consistently remained high, ranging from 85–90% over the past three years, and the campus is equipped with state-of-the-art infrastructure, specialized labs, and an active industry interface supporting internships and projects. The faculty at VIT Chennai are highly qualified, often with doctoral degrees and ongoing research engagement, ensuring courses reflect updated industry requirements while blending theoretical and hands-on elements effectively. The university’s broad network of recruiters and modern campus culture further enhance student exposure and professional growth. In comparison, JNTU Kakinada’s CSE branch is well-established, with a placement range reported from 65–80% and steady hiring by reputable IT companies, primarily for software roles. JNTU Kakinada boasts a strong core faculty, a rigorously structured syllabus, and significant infrastructure spanning large libraries and multiple labs. However, placements for CSE students, while respectable, are somewhat lower than VIT’s cyber security specialization, and the range of recruiters and campus industry tie-ups is typically narrower. Both institutions have solid academic foundations and offer good learning environments, but VIT Chennai edges ahead in curriculum currency, placement consistency, and industry alignment, particularly in the evolving domain of cyber security.

RECOMMENDATION: VIT Chennai’s Cyber Security program is the preferable choice for students prioritizing placement success, specialized industry-driven curriculum, and modern campus facilities, making it better suited to capitalize on growing cyber security demand. JNTU Kakinada CSE remains a strong, traditional alternative for those seeking a comprehensive software engineering base at a well-recognized state university. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9695 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 30, 2025

Career
I stay in Noida.which is better JIIT noida or thappar ?is it worth spending thar much amount in CS branch or i can explore colleges like Galgotia or GL bajaj ?
Ans: For aspiring Computer Science students in Noida, evaluating JIIT Noida, Thapar Institute, Galgotia College, and GL Bajaj requires weighing five key aspects: placement record, quality of faculty, campus infrastructure, curriculum relevance, and industry connections. Thapar Institute stands out for its consistently high placement rates—83% to 96% over the past three years—and hosts over 330 recruiters annually, including marquee industry names, which strengthens employability. Its 250-acre campus features cutting-edge laboratories, comprehensive academic resources, and a distinctly research-driven environment, supported by experienced faculty and a curriculum aligned with global standards. JIIT Noida maintains a robust placement percentage of around 91-94% for its CS branch, with 260+ recruiters and a proactive Placement and Training Cell. The institute offers a modern campus with excellent hostels, IT infrastructure, and student support, contributing to strong academic engagement and practical exposure through industry tie-ups and workshops. GL Bajaj and Galgotia provide competitive but slightly lower placement rates—around 85% for GL Bajaj and 86%-90% for Galgotia in CSE. Both institutions offer substantial infrastructural amenities, modern teaching environments, and reasonable fees compared to Thapar, but faculty exposure and academic diversity are comparatively less pronounced. Importantly, GL Bajaj boasts up to 900 recruiters overall and industry-recognized pedagogical practices, while Galgotia is noted for fostering industry partnerships and hosting top MNCs, especially for internships. Cost varies substantially: Thapar's fees are notably higher, reflecting its national ranking, legacy, and facilities, whereas GL Bajaj and Galgotia are more economical, providing decent returns in terms of placements and overall experience. While all four colleges invest in curriculum development and maintain reasonable teaching standards, Thapar excels in advanced research and innovative learning modules, followed by JIIT's industry-integrated approach. Both institutes have garnered credible academic accolades and prominent NIRF rankings, underscoring their academic and reputational standing; Galgotia and GL Bajaj, though competitive regionally, are valued mostly for their practical focus and affordability.

RECOMMENDATION: For Computer Science, Thapar Institute leads for its overall educational pedigree, placement strength, and campus resources, followed closely by JIIT Noida given its strong Noida presence and high recruitment rates. GL Bajaj and Galgotia are solid, more budget-friendly alternatives for students prioritizing cost, but Thapar and JIIT remain preferable for maximizing professional outcomes and holistic academic development. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9954 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2025Hindi
Money
present age 45 Year Like to retire in 2036 Family members : wife and 14year old son Having following assets: One home of 65 L PPF of 26L (will continue investment till 2036) Gold 20 L in gold (coins and SGB) Plots INR 14 lakh (4500sqft) Equit 6 lakh in equity (adding 10000 monthly till 2036) NPS 2.5 lakh (will add 50K annually till 2036) Sip in ETFs present 7.2 lakh invested in ETFs and will continue investing 50K monthly till 2036 Nippon Nifty BeES, ICICI Prudential Nifty Next 50, Motilal Oswal Nasdaq 100, Motilal Oswal Midcap 150, ICICI Nifty India Consumption ETF, SBI PSU Bank ETF, and ICICI Infra ETF, with a 10% annual step-up. Our current monthly household expenses are around INR 40,000 Having 50L term insurance and 5L group medical insurance for family
Ans: You have built a very structured and balanced portfolio. Your commitment to disciplined investing deserves appreciation. You are consistently investing across asset classes with a long-term view. That gives you a strong foundation for financial freedom in 2036.

Now, let’s analyse each component step by step.

Let us create a 360-degree plan to improve safety, growth, and retirement readiness.

? Home Property Assessment

– Your house worth Rs. 65 lakh is a consumption asset.
– It provides stability but doesn’t generate income.
– Don’t treat it as a retirement asset.
– It should not be part of your retirement corpus plan.
– Ensure proper insurance for the house.
– That protects from damage and liability.

? PPF Contributions Till 2036

– Your PPF corpus of Rs. 26 lakh is a strong pillar.
– Continued contributions till 2036 is wise.
– It gives assured, tax-free returns.
– It also gives liquidity after maturity.
– Use this corpus as a cushion post-retirement.
– Use it only for unavoidable or health-related needs.
– Keep it intact for longer to earn interest.
– Don’t withdraw unless necessary.

? Gold Holdings – Coins and SGBs

– Rs. 20 lakh in gold is a sizable holding.
– If mostly SGB, it is earning interest.
– If mostly coins, it does not earn anything.
– Keep SGBs till maturity for 2.5% annual interest.
– Do not increase allocation further to gold.
– It is not productive and fluctuates.
– No inflation-beating power over 15 years.
– Cap gold at around 10–15% of total assets.
– Avoid more gold investments going forward.

? Plot Worth Rs. 14 Lakh

– This is not a retirement-ready asset.
– Plots do not give regular income.
– It needs time to sell and legal clarity.
– Future sale value is uncertain.
– Consider selling in future and shifting to mutual funds.
– That will make your money work.
– Don’t count this plot in your retirement corpus.

? Equity Mutual Fund Investment

– Rs. 6 lakh equity investment with Rs. 10,000 monthly SIP is a good approach.
– Keep this SIP running consistently till 2036.
– This investment will grow well over time.
– Ensure allocation is spread across large, mid, and flexi-cap funds.
– Actively managed funds do better than ETFs long term.
– They adjust based on market trends.
– Choose regular funds through an MFD guided by a Certified Financial Planner.
– Avoid direct mutual funds.
– Direct funds don’t give personalised service or portfolio reviews.
– Regular funds offer advice and handholding from experts.

? NPS Annual Investment

– You have Rs. 2.5 lakh in NPS.
– You are adding Rs. 50,000 annually.
– This is tax-efficient.
– But 60% maturity proceeds are taxable.
– And 40% goes into annuity which gives low returns.
– NPS is locked till 60.
– Keep your contribution limited.
– Don't use NPS as your main retirement plan.
– Use it only as a small portion of your retirement asset mix.

? Current ETF Investments – Areas of Concern

– You have invested Rs. 7.2 lakh in ETFs.
– Investing Rs. 50,000 monthly in ETFs with a 10% step-up sounds aggressive.
– These include Nifty, Next 50, Midcap, Nasdaq 100, Infra, PSU Bank, Consumption.
– Many are high-risk sector-specific ETFs.
– This exposes you to concentration risk.
– ETFs don't have fund managers who adjust holdings.
– They mirror index, even if stocks underperform.
– In falling markets, ETFs fall fully.
– No cushion or downside protection.
– In long term, actively managed mutual funds have better performance.
– They manage market conditions better.
– Fund managers book profits, rebalance sectors.
– ETFs lack this human advantage.
– You are also missing asset allocation flexibility.
– Consider shifting to regular mutual funds.
– Choose diversified equity funds with a professional planner.
– Reduce reliance on index investing.

? Insurance Coverage – Needs Reassessment

– You have a Rs. 50 lakh term cover.
– You have Rs. 5 lakh group medical cover for family.
– This is not enough.
– At your stage, Rs. 1.5 crore term cover is ideal.
– It should cover 10 to 12 times your annual income.
– Group health insurance is not portable.
– It ends when you leave your job.
– Buy a personal floater health policy for family.
– At least Rs. 15 lakh cover with Rs. 5 lakh top-up.
– That protects your savings in medical emergencies.
– Don’t ignore insurance gaps.

? Monthly Expenses and Retirement Corpus

– Your current household expense is Rs. 40,000.
– In 11 years, it can double with inflation.
– After retirement, you need income for at least 25 years.
– You will need Rs. 1 crore to Rs. 1.5 crore at retirement.
– This depends on inflation and lifestyle.
– Your current SIPs, PPF, equity MF, and gold can help.
– But ETF-heavy portfolio is risky for retirement.
– Mutual funds with rebalancing and planning are more suitable.
– Retirement should not depend on market-linked passive funds.
– Safety and predictability matter more after retirement.

? Key Actionable Steps

– Stop further gold and ETF investments.
– Sell the plot after proper evaluation and reinvest in mutual funds.
– Increase term insurance cover to at least Rs. 1.5 crore.
– Start a separate family health insurance plan of Rs. 15–20 lakh.
– Reduce NPS contribution and don’t treat it as your core plan.
– Shift your ETF SIPs gradually to actively managed mutual funds.
– Use regular funds through a certified MFD with guidance from a Certified Financial Planner.
– Stay invested consistently in equity mutual funds.
– Use multi-cap, flexi-cap, and hybrid funds for balance.
– Review asset allocation every year.
– Keep PPF till 2036, but don’t rely on it for regular income.
– Treat gold as safety buffer, not growth engine.
– Plan income withdrawal post-retirement carefully.
– Don’t withdraw all equity at once after retirement.
– Use Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from mutual funds.
– That helps you get monthly income with less tax.
– Plan one-time expenses like son’s education separately.
– Keep some money in liquid funds from age 55.
– Create a retirement bucket strategy – safety, moderate, and growth buckets.

? Final Insights

– You are already disciplined and structured.
– That gives you a great head start.
– But, ETFs and plots are not suitable for retirement income.
– Actively managed regular funds offer better control and stability.
– Medical emergencies can destroy savings.
– Don’t wait to fix health and term insurance.
– Reduce exposure to passive and risky assets.
– Build a mutual fund-based plan with periodic review.
– Secure your family first, then focus on wealth.
– Don’t chase returns alone.
– Plan safety, growth, and income together.
– Use a Certified Financial Planner to customise the plan.
– With right steps, your 2036 retirement is absolutely achievable.
– Retirement is not a finish line.
– It is a new beginning.
– Plan it like a second life, not an ending.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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