Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I am dating my boss for the last 5 years. I am unmarried and he is committed to another woman. It started as a fling but now I am getting serious and stressed. My colleagues gossip about me and I want to quit as this relationship is affecting my work as well. How do I control my emotions and walk away with dignity?

Ans: Hello there, It's understandable that navigating a relationship with your boss, especially when it's causing stress and affecting your work environment, can be challenging Clearly communicate your boundaries to your boss. Let him know how the relationship is affecting you and your work. Establishing boundaries will help you maintain a professional environment and signal that you are serious about your decision. Plan your exit strategy from both the personal relationship and your job. This might involve finding a new job or preparing to face potential challenges at your current workplace if you decide to stay Focus on maintaining professionalism at work. Regardless of the gossip or workplace dynamics, continue to perform your job to the best of your ability. This will help you leave on good terms and maintain a positive professional reputation. If the workplace gossip is becoming unbearable or if the relationship is affecting your ability to work, consider talking to someone in HR or a supervisor. They can provide guidance and support, and they may be able to help address any negative impacts on your work environment. Understand that leaving the relationship and, potentially, the job may bring about significant changes. Be mentally prepared for these changes and focus on the positive aspects of moving forward. Prioritize self-care during this challenging time. Focus on activities and practices that bring you joy, relaxation, and a sense of well-being. When you're ready to end the relationship, communicate your decision clearly and calmly. Choose a private and neutral setting to have this conversation. Be honest about your feelings and the reasons behind your decision. Remember, it's essential to prioritize your well-being and make decisions that contribute positively to your life in the long run. Ending a relationship and making changes in your professional life can be challenging, but it's a crucial step towards your own personal growth and happiness.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |590 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 05, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hey Ravi..I am a 27 year old Advocate, 2 years into the firm I and my senior associate ( who is also my boss) entered into a relationship.. it was all very flowery I loved him and made all endeavours to keep him happy work wise and we had a great relation. Its been 3 years into this relationship now suddenly he has been showering all his affection on a new colleague and has almost deserted me for her. I feel betrayed for investing so much in my boss. I feel cheated and disgusted upon myself as to why did I enter into a relationship with him and let him destroy my well-being. Also, any adverse step may lead him to fire me ..so in short I need to play extremely safe. Please help me how to deal with this situation
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand we are not always in control of who we fall for, but getting into a relationship with your boss is never a good idea. It can lead to several complications because of the power dynamics involved. But now that it's done, let's talk damage control. I would normally suggest an open conversation, but given the nature of your relationship at work and your fear that it might affect your job, I would suggest removing yourself from the relationship and considering this a breakup. If he is not showing any more interest in you, I recommend doing the same with him. I know it hurts, but it's better to hold your head high and deal with it than reach out for an explanation from someone who ditches one love interest for another. If he comes back to you after a while, casually let him know that this relationship was over the day he started flirting with his other colleague.

You deserve a man who loves you and does not jump ship every time someone new pops up in his life. Moreover, please look for someone outside the office, who cannot use their power to subdue your voice, like you had to do this time. It is not a good feeling to not say things out loud, especially when you are right, because it can cost you your job. For now, focus on your work, and remember, if he was the one for you, you would not be in this pickle. Take peace in that knowledge.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4699 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 21, 2025

Career
Sir, I have got 87% marks in mains. Please tell me a college where I can get a branch.
Ans: Aditi, Here is, How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main/Advanced Results – A Step-by-Step Guide

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Also, please have some other back-up options instead of relying only on JEE/JoSAA/NITs/IIITs/GFTIs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions and a bright future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x