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Should I Quit My Job Due to My Manager's Affair with the Boss?

Ashwini

Ashwini Dasgupta  |109 Answers  |Ask -

Personality Development Expert, Career Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Ashwini Dasgupta is a personality development coach and a neuro-linguistic programming trainer.
She has 15 years of experience training corporate professionals and has worked at Amazon, JP Morgan, Nomura and Satyam among others.
As a career coach, Ashwini specialises in helping growth-minded IT corporate managers develop their self-worth and create the right mindset so that they can achieve their career goals.
Besides corporate training, she offers personal consultations as well.
Ashwini holds a master’s degree in human resources from the Narsee Monjee Institute of Management Studies, Mumbai, and is a certified NLP trainer from the National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA.
She has completed her soft skills training and image consultancy course from the Image Consulting Business Institute, Mumbai
Ashwini is also a PoSH trainer, certified by the Society for Human Resource Management.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2025Hindi
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Hi Ashwini, my lazy manager is having an affair with the boss. They have been secretly dating each other for the last 10 years. The boss is married and my manager is divorced. While it is not my business to care about their personal relationships, it is now affecting my work. I have been denied a promotion for 3 years and my manager continues to takes credit for all my hard work. The boss happily supports her laziness and encourages her to go on holidays often mixing leisure with work. I have raised this issue with the HR and realised that all those who quit before me faced the same issue. I feel uninspired to work in such a setting where you are treated as a slave and denied basic yearly benefits and compensation. Should I quit for my dignity or fight for what is rightfully mine?

Ans: Dear Sir/ Madam,
If you have tried everything to prove your efforts with facts then you should look at opportunities elsewhere. It's true that we can not change what's not in our control. Instead focus your energy where you will some changes. Take your time to assess the situation and accordingly take the step forward.

Hope this helps
www.ashwinidasgupta.com
Author of Confidence Decoded. Is it a skill or attitude?
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2023Hindi
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I am dating my boss for the last 5 years. I am unmarried and he is committed to another woman. It started as a fling but now I am getting serious and stressed. My colleagues gossip about me and I want to quit as this relationship is affecting my work as well. How do I control my emotions and walk away with dignity?
Ans: Hello there, It's understandable that navigating a relationship with your boss, especially when it's causing stress and affecting your work environment, can be challenging Clearly communicate your boundaries to your boss. Let him know how the relationship is affecting you and your work. Establishing boundaries will help you maintain a professional environment and signal that you are serious about your decision. Plan your exit strategy from both the personal relationship and your job. This might involve finding a new job or preparing to face potential challenges at your current workplace if you decide to stay Focus on maintaining professionalism at work. Regardless of the gossip or workplace dynamics, continue to perform your job to the best of your ability. This will help you leave on good terms and maintain a positive professional reputation. If the workplace gossip is becoming unbearable or if the relationship is affecting your ability to work, consider talking to someone in HR or a supervisor. They can provide guidance and support, and they may be able to help address any negative impacts on your work environment. Understand that leaving the relationship and, potentially, the job may bring about significant changes. Be mentally prepared for these changes and focus on the positive aspects of moving forward. Prioritize self-care during this challenging time. Focus on activities and practices that bring you joy, relaxation, and a sense of well-being. When you're ready to end the relationship, communicate your decision clearly and calmly. Choose a private and neutral setting to have this conversation. Be honest about your feelings and the reasons behind your decision. Remember, it's essential to prioritize your well-being and make decisions that contribute positively to your life in the long run. Ending a relationship and making changes in your professional life can be challenging, but it's a crucial step towards your own personal growth and happiness.

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |113 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi
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Career
My manager is constantly manipulating his boss about me. Everyone in my team is aware that she is increasingly insecure about my success and feels threatened by me. She often gives incorrect and incomplete feedback due to which my manager feels that my manager is more efficient than I am. In the past, 4 people have quit or been foced to resign due to these politics. Should I also quit and move to another company or should I talk to the manager about this? Pls help
Ans: Hi!!

When I was working in the corporate world, the oft repeated quote was, "people don't leave the company ,they leave bad bosses".
Your manager's boss is your super boss, rt? Can't you go and speak to him directly and put your concerns across?
I am sure the HR must have noticed that people are quitting and might have explored the reasons why they are doing so too, do check with them.
I fail to understand why women should not cooperate with each other. You can also explore the option of talking directly to the manager and telling her if your actions in any way have caused some misunderstanding and if she says yes then you are willing to clear them. Also tell her that you are not eyeing her post and you are just trying to do your job well. I did the same with one of my bosses, it worked for me, we became the best of friends, we are still in touch. You need to think which is your best option and choose one from all the possible solutions I have mentioned. You can always quit, that's the last option I feel..

Hoping you choose wisely..All the very best!!

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |161 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Mar 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) recently got engaged to my Fiancee (27F) & shared the Photos of our Engagement on Instagram, wherein they were noticed by an old friend of mine. He recognised my Fiancee & told me some things about her, which startled me. When she was in the Final Year of Engineering, she got an Internship Opportunity in a Reputed MNC, where my Friend was also working. At her Office, most of the Employees & Interns were Male & she was one of the very few Females. Her Manager was a Middle Aged Divorcee. He had offered her a Permanent Job at the Company, after her Internship, in exchange for Sexual Intimacy. Apparently, she had given in & everyone at her Office was aware of the Affair between her & her Boss. Initially, I assumed this to be a Rumour, but still wanted to clarify this with her, even though, I had no Proof except his word of mouth. When I Questioned her, she admitted that, it was indeed the Truth that she had slept with her Boss for her Career Growth. But she also tried to Justify herself, saying that she was a Young & Naive Fresher at that time & the Offer seemed quite Tempting as her Family was going through Financial Difficulties at that point of time. But she also went on to add her narrative that the Affair lasted for just 2 years. During that time, she also used to suffer from Sexual Harassment from other Male Colleagues, as they had assumed that she was an 'Easily Available' kind of Girl who'd sleep with anyone & she had a Hard time, resisting their Sexual Advances. Apparently, my Old Friend was also among those who were trying to Bed her. But she quit working at that Company, as soon as, she got a better offer in another Company, without having to make any Sexual Compromise & since then she'd been working hard for her Career Growth & had never done anything Immoral or Unethical again. Hearing all these things about my Fiancee & my Old Friend, disturbed me greatly. But my Fiancee didn't seem to have any Regrets as she believes that all of it was her Past, which happened more than 5 years ago & it doesn't affect her Present or our Future, in any way. She also reassured me that she would be a Loyal Wife to me after Marriage & would never Sleep with anyone else, under any circumstances. Now I am in Dilemma, whether I should Trust my Fiancee & take a Huge Leap of Faith, by going ahead with the Marriage, as planned, or should I call off the Wedding & try to find some other Woman with a Decent Character? Please advise me.
Ans: 1. Should you trust her as a person - going by what she has said, you should as she has been honest and shared everything with you

2. And if she says she does not have any regrets, more power to her - how will having regrets and feeling guilty justify.

3. We all make mistakes and she did what she did as she was 'single' she did not cheat anyone

4. As for you wanting to marry her or not is your decision...remember you both need to invest in the relationship daily and cannot/should not bring up the past even in disagreements - this is important for you to understand.

All the best in whatever decision you make.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |929 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jun 09, 2025

Career
Sir good morning I may get 413 in NEET. Is there any possibility to get admission at nursing course in any AIIMS.
Ans: Hi Swapan,
NEET - Nursing?
Extract from neet 2025 bulletin.

13.5 Use of the Result of NEET (UG) - 2025 by other Organizations
The Result of NEET (UG) - 2025 MAYBE utilized by other Entities of Central and State Governments, in accordance with their respective eligibility criteria / other norms /applicable regulations/guidelines/rules. The result data will also be utilized for B.Sc. (H) Nursing courses in accordance with their respective eligibility criteria / other norms /applicable regulations/guidelines/ rules.
The NEET (UG) - 2025 data will also be used for admissions to BVSc & AH
courses under the 15% quota of VCI in recognized Veterinary Colleges.
However, the Council has to approach the MCC of DGHS, MoHFW in order to obtain the said data of results.

Kindly note that AIIMS released the rank list for BSc Nursing (H) - details follows.

ALL INDIA INSTITUTE OF MEDICAL SCIENCES, NEW DELHI
AIIMS-B.SC. (H) NURSING ENTRANCE EXAMINATION – AUGUST 2025 SESSION HELD ON 1st June, 2025
RESULT NOTIFICATION NO. 79/2025
B.Sc. (H) Nursing Entrance Examination-August 2025 Session
Dated: 06.06.2025
The following is the Roll Number wise list of all qualified candidates who have appeared for AIIMS B.Sc. (H) Nursing Entrance Examination – 2025 held on 1st June 2025 and are provisionally eligible for the Mock Round/1st Round of Seat Allocation.

If you to pursue Nursing course at AIIMS, So act quickly....

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