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Anu Krishna |1402 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by PP on May 05, 2022Hindi

Dear Anu, I am in relationship with a guy who is 8 years younger than me. We are so much into each other.
I am a doctor by profession and he is struggling. I help him emotionally and financially as well. He loves me very much.
Although I’m elder to him he acts more mature than me.
My concern is to hold him as if I am controlling him and whenever I don't get attention I become very stressed.
I am a good-looking person and I get enough boys’ attention. He never gets jealous.
My concern is I want him to be close to me and I can't let him go outside city to grab a good job although he is very loyal to me.
Plz suggest how to destress myself.

Ans:

Dear PP,

Why don’t you give a shot at Loving Yourself and appreciating yourself?

It’s nice to get attention and adulation from another person, but if you have begun to thrive on it, it’s time to ask yourself: if you are in fact trying to ‘up’ your self-worth from his attention and the easiest way to make sure that this is in constant supply is to be clingy, possessive, jealous and controlling?

Not very healthy traits for a long relationship.

When you start to focus on yourself and love yourself, you will rely less and less on his validation and the relationship starts to form based on trust and will become every healthy.

So, spend more time on YOU! Be with Nature, spend time with your female friends, indulge in hobbies that make you smile and so on…he will also respect that space and share more of his time and attention without you having to do anything about it.

Best wishes.

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Anu Krishna |1402 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 21, 2022

Question by SR - Apr 21, 2022Hindi

Hi I am in a relationship with a guy for 1 year. He is 5 years older than me. We are of same caste and met via social media.Initially, we had a lot of things to talk about but now we don’t have much stuff to discuss about. He fantasizes about my sis also; he told me that too. He’s been flirting with her which makes me jealous and low as well. In jealousy I sometimes speak harshly to him and that creates a fight between us. When I told him that I feel jealous he asked if I wanted him to avoid talking to her. I don't want that too. I trust him but this jealousy makes me sad and rude to him. What should I do??

Ans:

Dear SR,

He’s just in the playing field, trying out new things and experimenting.

You are possibly looking at a commitment which I am unsure of whether he is ready for it!

When you say that you are in a relationship, are you a couple or have you been simply hanging out together for the sake of being in each other’s company?

Relationship has a different meaning for each person. For some it’s being together and hanging out, for some till they are asked out, they don’t consider it a relationship.

So, please have a chat with him as to whether he wishes to be serious or not, is he looking for a long-term commitment or not.

When he digs deep for answers, he will also understand his mind space better, and it will give you a clear indication as to where this is all headed.

Till then all you will be doing is fixing and repairing his playing field.

All the best!

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