Hey Anu ji I hope you are doing well.
I am a 27-year-old woman, not married but engaged. I am a doctor by profession and we met through our parents. He is a pediatrician. I’m just MBBS. He is 33 and was damn good. Since the last few months there has been a sudden change in his behaviour and we have been fighting since then.
We knew each other since a year and moved in together last October.
I left my government job so that I could pursue my specialisation. I couldn't score a good rank due to which I couldn’t get admission.
My parents are not rich enough for me to apply in a private college. He always abuses my parents saying they are not rich enough.
He compares everything and has started talking to another specialist, a single woman.
I am handling all house chores -- from laundry to cleaning, even emptying dustbin and making his cup of tea.
He doesn't do anything except sleep, eat and work which is not so hectic because he is at a senior position.
Is it right that we are having sex 2-3 times per day from so many months?
Whenever I want to talk about something he asks for sex. If I say 'I need your attention and love' he gets grumpy and says 'you are always complaining.'
Since this is my first relationship, I am comprising a lot. He didn't even remember our first anniversary or the day we met.
In fact he stops talking to me since a month. He doesn’t pick up my calls or sees my messages.
I have to call a third person to convey my message to at least pick up a call.
Please help.
I’m too stressed and even thought of committing suicide because I love him. But he doesn't love me from the last 3-4 months.
I never get answers to my questions. He is like ‘I don't want to talk.’
He has become so egoistic and is behaving like a male chauvinist.
I have to prepare for my exam too. Because of all this stress I have started having panic attacks and anxiety.
I love him a lot but I can't stay in this relationship more. I can't bear the brunt. Only one-sided efforts are there from my side.
He stopped making any efforts to reconcile or talk.
I am an old school person. I lost my virginity to him but now I regret. Who will marry me knowing that I’m not a virgin anymore? Plzz help me

Ans: Hello;

I presume you are referring to your investments in direct stocks.

This is a notional loss unless you book it.

And if you had invested for short term you should have put a stop loss.

Investments in direct stock is fraught with numerous risks, please take your trades only under guidance of a research analyst/investment advisor.

Or else learn how to trade effectively through proper coaching and then trade/invest.

If you invest based on TV and Social Media tips then it is difficult.

Please seek advice on your stock holdings from a research analyst/investment advisor.

If you are into well researched fundamentally strong stocks and your time horizon is long(5 yr+) you shouldn't worry about these daily fluctuations.

Ans: Hello;

Continue 50K SIP for additional 10 years and you may expect a corpus of 2.5 Cr+(top-up with lumpsum investments as and when possible to improve the odds of supassing the target)

13% modest returns from pure equity funds considered.

Happy Investing!!

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing.

Ans: Yes, if you are not a NRI.

Ans: Deciding between Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) and traditional investment instruments like Public Provident Fund (PPF) and Fixed Deposits (FDs) depends on various factors, including your financial goals, risk tolerance, investment horizon, and tax-saving needs. Here's a comprehensive comparison to help you make an informed decision:

1. Understanding the Investment Options

a. ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Schemes)

• Nature: Equity Mutual Funds with a tax-saving component.
• Lock-In Period: 3 years (shortest among tax-saving instruments under Section 80C).
• Returns: Potentially higher returns as they are invested in equities, but subject to market volatility.
• Tax Benefits: Investments up to ?1.5 lakh per annum are eligible for deduction under Section 80C.
• Liquidity: Relatively higher liquidity post the lock-in period compared to other tax-saving instruments.

b. PPF (Public Provident Fund)

• Nature: Government-backed long-term savings scheme.
• Lock-In Period: 15 years.
• Returns: Moderate and tax-free returns, revised periodically by the government (typically around 7-8% p.a.).
• Tax Benefits: Investments up to ?1.5 lakh per annum qualify for deduction under Section 80C. The interest earned and the maturity amount are tax-free.
• Safety: Very low risk as it's backed by the government.

c. Fixed Deposits (FDs)

• Nature: Fixed-term investment with banks or post offices.
• Lock-In Period: Varies; typically no lock-in for regular FDs, but tax-saving FDs have a 5-year lock-in.
• Returns: Fixed interest rates, generally lower than ELSS but higher than savings accounts. Current rates vary but are around 5-7% p.a. for tax-saving FDs.
• Tax Benefits: Investments up to ?1.5 lakh in tax-saving FDs qualify for deduction under Section 80C.
• Safety: Low risk, especially with reputable banks.

2. Factors to Consider

a. Risk Appetite

• ELSS: Suitable if you are willing to take on market-related risks for potentially higher returns.
• PPF & FDs: Ideal for conservative investors seeking capital protection and guaranteed returns.

b. Investment Horizon

• ELSS: 3-year lock-in period, but generally better for medium to long-term goals.
• PPF: 15-year commitment, suitable for long-term goals like retirement or children's education.
• FDs: Flexible, but tax-saving FDs require a 5-year lock-in, suitable for medium-term goals.

c. Returns

• ELSS: Historically, ELSS funds have outperformed PPF and FDs over the long term, but with higher volatility.
• PPF: Offers stable and tax-free returns, which are beneficial in a low-interest-rate environment.
• FDs: Provide guaranteed returns, useful for capital preservation but may lag behind inflation and equity returns over time.

d. Tax Efficiency

• ELSS: Returns are subject to capital gains tax. Short-term (if held for less than 3 years) gains are taxed as per your income slab, while long-term gains (exceeding ?1 lakh) are taxed at 10%.
• PPF: Completely tax-free returns.
• FDs: Interest earned is taxable as per your income slab, which can reduce the effective returns.

3. Recommendations Based on Your Profile

Given that you are 48 years old with two children, your investment strategy should balance between growth and safety, considering your proximity to retirement and financial responsibilities.

a. Diversified Approach

A balanced portfolio that includes both ELSS and traditional instruments like PPF and FDs can help mitigate risks while aiming for reasonable growth.

• ELSS: Allocate a portion (e.g., 30-40%) to ELSS to benefit from potential equity growth, which can help in wealth accumulation for retirement or funding children's education.
• PPF: Continue contributing to PPF for long-term, stable, and tax-free returns. Given its 15-year tenure, it aligns well with retirement planning.
• FDs: Use FDs for short to medium-term goals or as a part of your emergency fund, ensuring liquidity and capital preservation.

b. Consider Your Tax Bracket

If you are in a higher tax bracket, maximizing tax-saving instruments under Section 80C can provide significant tax relief. ELSS, PPF, and tax-saving FDs all qualify, so diversifying among them can spread risk and optimize tax benefits.

c. Assess Liquidity Needs

Ensure you have sufficient liquidity for unforeseen expenses. While ELSS has a shorter lock-in compared to PPF, both still tie up funds for a few years. Maintain a separate emergency fund in a more liquid form, such as a savings account or liquid mutual funds.

d. Review Your Risk Tolerance

At 48, with retirement possibly 10-20 years away, a moderate risk appetite might be suitable. ELSS can offer growth potential, while PPF and FDs provide stability.

4. Additional Considerations

• Emergency Fund: Ensure you have 6-12 months' worth of expenses saved in a highly liquid form.
• Insurance: Adequate health and life insurance are crucial, especially with dependents.
• Debt Management: If you have any high-interest debt, prioritize paying it off before locking funds in fixed instruments.

5. Consult a Financial Advisor

While the above guidelines provide a general framework, it's advisable to consult with a certified financial planner or advisor. They can offer personalized advice tailored to your specific financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance.

Finally, both ELSS and traditional instruments like PPF and FDs have their unique advantages. A diversified investment strategy that leverages the strengths of each can help you achieve a balanced portfolio, ensuring both growth and security. Given your age and family responsibilities, striking the right balance between risk and safety is essential for long-term financial well-being.

Ans: The first thing to acknowledge is the depth and seriousness of the decisions you face. Any choice here will affect not just you, but your wife, your children, and your brother's widow. In situations like this, clarity is essential. You need to deeply understand what you're seeking emotionally from this relationship with your brother's widow and how this might impact everyone involved in the long term.

Since you and your wife have already agreed to stay together for the children, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with her about your feelings. If she is aware of the depth of your emotions for someone else, it may help you both navigate the best path forward — even if that path remains complicated. Keeping this hidden will likely create tension that could affect the very stability you're trying to protect for your children.

Ans: The challenge here is that he’s likely in a highly emotional and intense phase of his life, where his attachment to this person may feel all-consuming. When someone feels like they're being judged or controlled, they tend to push back harder, and it seems that's what’s happening with your son. Approaching him with confrontation or involving legal measures may only cause him to withdraw even more.

What he needs right now, even if he doesn't realize it, is understanding and connection. If you can find a way to express your concern for his well-being, not just your disapproval of his relationship, it might open up a space for dialogue. He may feel trapped in this relationship in ways he can't yet see. Your role can be to help him feel safe enough to reflect on his own choices, rather than feel he has to defend them.

This is a delicate situation, and while it may seem urgent, sometimes a softer approach allows for a deeper breakthrough. Your patience, love, and ability to listen might be the key to guiding him through this

Ans: First, try to understand what’s really behind your procrastination. Often, it’s not just laziness — it could be fear of failure, perfectionism, or even not knowing where to start. Once you identify the root cause, you can address it more effectively.

A helpful approach is to break tasks into smaller, more manageable pieces. When we look at the full scope of what we need to do, it can feel overwhelming, which leads to avoiding the task altogether. By focusing on just the first small step, you’re more likely to get started. Once you start, momentum often carries you forward.

Also, try to create some accountability for yourself. Tell a friend or someone you trust about your goals and check in with them. Sometimes external accountability helps push you to take action when your internal motivation is lacking.

Lastly, remember that progress, not perfection, is the goal. It’s okay if you don’t complete everything perfectly or if you struggle along the way. What matters is that you start and keep going. Be kind to yourself in the process — procrastination is something many people battle, and with small, consistent efforts, you can gradually overcome it.

Ans: It sounds like he’s trying to explain that while it’s normal for feelings of love to develop between friends, he’s struggling with the idea of a future together because of the differences in caste and culture. He may be acknowledging your feelings as valid but is also expressing that, from his perspective, these differences are too significant to overcome when thinking about a long-term relationship or marriage.

In essence, he's not dismissing your emotions but is saying that external factors like caste and cultural differences are barriers for him when considering a future together. This could mean that while he might care about you, he's choosing to focus on the practical challenges that might arise from these differences rather than just the emotional connection. It’s likely a way of saying that, despite the bond, he doesn’t see a future together due to societal or family pressures.

Ans: It’s completely natural to feel uncertain when you’re trying something new and challenging. The mind often resists change because it's stepping into the unknown, where outcomes are uncertain. That inner voice telling you to quit is a defense mechanism — it wants to protect you from the fear of failure or discomfort. But it’s important to recognize that pushing through this resistance is where growth happens.

Right now, it might not feel clear whether this new work will have a "happy ending" or if it will be completed successfully, and that’s okay. What matters most is that you're showing up and trying. Results are never fully in our control, but the effort and persistence are. And often, the process of sticking with something, even through doubt, is what leads to the personal growth and success you're hoping for. Trust that by staying in the game, you’re giving yourself a chance — one that quitting would never allow. Keep going, and let the result unfold as it may.