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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 21, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
SR Question by SR on Apr 21, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

 Hi I am in a relationship with a guy for 1 year. He is 5 years older than me. We are of same caste and met via social media.
Initially, we had a lot of things to talk about but now we don’t have much stuff to discuss about. He fantasizes about my sis also; he told me that too.
He’s been flirting with her which makes me jealous and low as well. In jealousy I sometimes speak harshly to him and that creates a fight between us.
When I told him that I feel jealous he asked if I wanted him to avoid talking to her.
I don't want that too. I trust him but this jealousy makes me sad and rude to him. What should I do??

Ans:

Dear SR,

He’s just in the playing field, trying out new things and experimenting.

You are possibly looking at a commitment which I am unsure of whether he is ready for it!

When you say that you are in a relationship, are you a couple or have you been simply hanging out together for the sake of being in each other’s company?

Relationship has a different meaning for each person. For some it’s being together and hanging out, for some till they are asked out, they don’t consider it a relationship.

So, please have a chat with him as to whether he wishes to be serious or not, is he looking for a long-term commitment or not.

When he digs deep for answers, he will also understand his mind space better, and it will give you a clear indication as to where this is all headed.

Till then all you will be doing is fixing and repairing his playing field.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

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Relationship
Hello mam. I am in a relationship with a boy and we both love each other and also want to get married but he doesn’t trust me at all.I tell him everything, yet he thinks I am a liar and alleges that am cheating on him. He doubts me in every single thing even he don't allow me to talk to any guy or girl not even my friends and he doesn't like when I step out from my home.  He gets scared when I step out or get to my college. He keeps reminding me to not to cheat or not to talk with anybody. All these things got me into stress and frustration and I feel so bad that the person I love doesn't trust me.We had lot of fights because of this. He abuses me and makes me angry. As I am a college going student, I can't manage my studies because of fights and his bad behaviour.He always tries to prove me wrong and make me feel guilty. He thinks very bad about me and makes his own stories adding fake stories and allegations.  In the past 2 years there is not a single day when I didn't have to explain him. But he is not ready to accept. He only wants to hear what he thinks not the real truth if I say that u are misunderstanding me he says no he is 100% right and you are wrong. One of his friends put one story 2 years ago with a girl hiding her face and the top she is wearing on that picture. I have the same top and he knows it. He doubted that the girl is me. I am tired answering his doubts. I got so much anger and feel disrespectful.I love him; he is my first and one and only boyfriend.  I do everything for him. But he treats me rudely he always starts his conversation with doubt like: where are you coming from? even if I didn't go anywhere he thinks that I went somewhere to meet someone. He tortures and abuses me like this. Every time I forgive him but he kept repeating that behaviour.  I can't even live without him. I give him my love, time...my everything.  But I didn't get anything. He thinks that I always do things by planning but I don't. He thinks that I always want to ruin his life, break his heart or cheat him but that's all wrong. He is making his mind so negative he thinks so negative about me. Because of his doubts problem I don't talk to anybody -- no friends, no guys but he thinks that I am talking to any guy and I'm lying that I don't I give every possible proof but he didn't trust me at all.He thinks that I tell people about him I gossip about him but I didn't do that I didn't even talk to anybody. He doesn't even want to breakup with me. I explained him that for our peace we have to separate he didn't want that also. He put such bad allegations on me about my character, my sexual status. I am a virgin but I didn't accept that. He makes me feel so sad and helpless I don't know what to do I’m helpless I didn't even share these things with anyone. Sometimes I feel suicidal also.  He has just all control over my life my mind but also he didn't give me respect, love or value. Plzzz help me mam what should I do with his doubts and trust issue. I am so depressed, plzzzz help me out. I’m stuck in it.
Ans:

Dear BM,

Have you heard of emotional abuse? That is exactly what you have been facing.

And why are you putting up with this? Because you maybe feel a sense of validation in this relationship.

What sort of a relationship demands constant proving and to the extent of having to prove that you are a virgin.

How is it any of anyone’s business whether you are a virgin or not? This relationship is toxic and has begun to alter your personality and who you are meant to be.

Take charge and NOW. Be YOU and what you always stood up for, because all this putting up with his idiosyncrasies, is causing you pain and moreover your inner self does not want to allow it.

Yet you are stuck to it giving yourself the story that he is the only boyfriend. BREATHE, take a step back and OBSERVE.

It’s time for you to draw out a beautiful life ahead of you and colour it as brightly as you intend.

What exactly are you waiting for? More abuses, more toxicity to hit and dampen your sprightly spirit?

Get a hold of yourself dear girl, be brave and do the right thing. Help yourself…Seek close friends who will hold space for you!

You can do this. Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 04, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Anu, I'm studying BTech final year. My love and I were in a relationship since 5 years. Things were fine till our diploma. I got a seat in another college which was far from our place. At the same time, he moved to his hometown for house construction. There he met a girl. She is 34. He used to talk a lot to her and got attached to her. He tells everything to me. He even said that people were spreading wrong rumours about them. I told him to stay away till things got better. Since then he has stopped telling me much. There was a recent fight in his hometown relating to both of them which annoyed him. He continues to say there is nothing wrong between both of us. He used to love me a lot. Whenever I felt insecure or if there was any mood swings he used to make me calm and relaxed. Now-a-days he always tells me ‘Wait. Don't call me.’ If I call him more, he just scolds me. There are no sweet talks or setting time aside for a call, and all. He even says ‘I promised that I'll be with her at any time in any problem and now because everyone is spreading rumours I can't break my promise to her.’ What about me? Didn't you promise to make me happy? I feel betrayed.I got angry and told him that my parents are seeing matches for me. His reply shook me. He said: 'Go, get married.’ I was like ‘you aren't the same.’ I don't understand what to do or how to set things right.My mental health is getting worse.
Ans:

Dear S,

Your letter is very confusing to me.

I hope your post is genuine and not just to have fun…despite that I will consider it real and try to suggest what I can though I find your facts very contradictory.

Keeping the age factor aside, what I can say is: if someone does not treat you well, what’s the point waiting for that person?

If he isn’t interested in you, why are you chasing him?

Please make your world better by being around people who respect and value you and watch how beautiful it all becomes rather than searching and begging for love. He clearly isn’t into you anymore. So, move on…

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Anu, I am in relationship for 6 months and now we are in long distance relationship, I have struggled a lot in family love issues, so I always craved for love, but my boyfriend is a bit distant, although he tries his best, but I just can't get over, I feel like i deserve to be loved more and deserve good care and attention, there are always the things which he hurts me almost everyday now, I feel like shutting down my emotions again, I feel very low after his actions, although he has his reasons which are correct too, but little bit wrong too, he does not think deeply about me, because he is immature himself, we are just 19, I don't know and unable to understand what should I do, should I shut myself down and try to study and not talk to him by giving him excuses that I am busy, I really am losing more and more trust from him, and slowly my will to share things is getting lost, although I scream from inside that I want to share but after his actions hurt me, I feel puzzled from inside, he is good, but I don't think he is much into these love and stuffs, he is just chill with his life, as he shows off, so much that I misunderstand him a lot, how can we understand each other better, we just keep hurting each other, because of our different thoughts and perspective, I love him so much, I want to be with him, but his actions make me further distant from him, and he also says he has his own privacy, I don't understand, if relationship is built on trust then what kind of privacy, I don't mean , I don't understand him, i respect his opinion, but because of his perspective, he hurts me too, and doesn't respect my perspective, I feel like relying on him emotionally and always have been, but he thinks I speak too much and he doesn't value it much, and doesn't understand how much hard it is for me to share....I really feel very much overwhelmed and it's not getting any better, every night I feel pain and keeps on crying, it's not stoping, it's becoming a loop, please guide me, what should I do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
All I can see and hear from you is: that you are dependent on him for you happiness!
Okay, 'I have struggled a lot in family love issues' (as you mentioned) BUT looking for that to be filled from someone externally is only going to disappoint you.
How can you replace family and sibling love and attention from outside?
Also, being 19, both of you are still not mature to put things in perspective. Do understand that every time you complain to your boyfriend and call that a 'perspective', you are just pushing him away...he's just being a boy of 19 trying to have a carefree life and a girlfriend with who he can share and of course, feel 'cool' in his guy gang.
Why are you expecting him to fill in for the missing love? He cannot as whatever he does, he will always fall short as in your mind you will compare with what you ideally would want and he will fall short. Then, the drama will begin where you will complain, he will defend and he will slowly call that his carefree ways and he will say: I am like this only!
And then you will feel hurt and the drama will continue.

First things first; you cannot fulfill what love you lack from outside. Learn to love yourself first. the concept of self-love is rage these days BUT it has always been around in simpler ways from the very beginning. Love what you do everyday, surround yourself with friends that you feel good with, focus on your academic goals...
Loving oneself is the way to go; it might seem a bit difficult at you age to fathom as everything external excites you...So, focus on your self and put less attention in what your boyfriend does or doesn't. Slowly, you will appreciate the things that he does for you...And you will start to feel better from within!
Your self-worth is something only you can grow from within and this cannot be dependent on anything or anyone external. Grow your strength from within!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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am a dropper candidate and will be appearing for JEE Advanced 2026. I seek clarification regarding my Class XII eligibility under the top 20 percentile criterion. I passed the Maharashtra HSC Board examination in February with an overall percentage of 70%. For eligibility under the top 20 percentile rule, the required aggregate for my board is 368 marks, whereas I obtained 358 marks in the February examination. Instead of appearing for all subjects again, I appeared for Marathi as an isolated subject in the June examination conducted by the same Maharashtra HSC Board, in which I secured 86 marks. With this, my total aggregate becomes 374 marks, which meets the top 20 percentile requirement. Currently, I have two marksheets: - February Marksheet: English – 77, Physics – 56, Chemistry – 77, Mathematics – 58 , IT – 97 Aggregate: 358 marks - June Marksheet (Isolated Subject): Marathi – 86 My query is: 1. Should both marksheets be combined and uploaded as a single PDF during document verification? 2. Or will the Maharashtra Board issue a merged / updated final marksheet, and will that merged marksheet alone be considered valid for JEE Advanced eligibility?
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Ans: 01. What I can suggest is that an individual who is not expert with Equity Market should avoid over exposure to investments in this segment. In cases like this, I would suggest to make your investments in MUTUAL FUNDS instead. You may consider shifting from Equity to Mutual Funds, in phased manner.
Investment in precious metals (Gold & Silver) is very attractive today. It may continue to be so till International environment/conditions are uncertain or unpredictable. Present indication does not support stable International economies, so I feel strongly, that precious metals may keep an upward trend. But shifting all your funds to this segment is again not advisable. Keep your investment portfolio diversified, keeping some percentage of your investments in easily liquid conditions.
Real Estate is also another good option, but small funds cannot be parked in this segment.
Most Welcome for further clarifications, if any. Thanks.

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Tax Expert - Answered on Jan 27, 2026

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10997 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 27, 2026

Money
If I have 1 crore financial crisis how I pay if i get one crore
Ans: You are thinking responsibly. Asking this question itself shows maturity and awareness. A sudden Rs 1 crore inflow during a financial crisis can solve the problem, only if it is handled with clarity and discipline.

» First understand the nature of the Rs 1 crore
– Is this money received as inheritance, insurance claim, bonus, business sale, or asset liquidation
– Is the crisis short-term (medical, business loss, job loss) or long-term (debt overload, income mismatch)
– Do not rush to use the full amount immediately

Clarity first, action later.

» Priority-based usage of the Rs 1 crore
– Medical emergencies should be settled immediately
– High-interest personal loans and credit card dues should be cleared first
– Business or income-stopping issues should be stabilised next
– Do not deploy money emotionally or under pressure

The aim is stability, not quick fixes.

» How to pay liabilities smartly
– Clear unsecured and high-cost debts fully
– Avoid closing long-term low-cost loans in one shot
– Keep sufficient liquidity for next 12 months
– Do not exhaust the full Rs 1 crore at once

Liquidity gives confidence during crisis.

» Protection before investment
– Ensure adequate health insurance is active
– Ensure sufficient pure life insurance cover
– Emergency fund must be parked safely

Without protection, another crisis can repeat.

» Where not to put this Rs 1 crore
– Do not put entire amount in equity at one time
– Do not chase high-return promises
– Do not lock full money in illiquid products
– Do not mix insurance and investment

Safety first, growth later.

» How to deploy the balance amount
– Keep part of money in low-risk instruments for stability
– Invest remaining amount gradually into equity-oriented options
– Use phased investing instead of lump sum
– Choose actively managed funds due to flexibility and downside control

Active management matters more during uncertain times.

» Tax awareness while using the money
– If you sell investments to manage crisis, tax may apply
– Equity short-term exits attract higher tax
– Plan withdrawals in a tax-aware manner
– Avoid unnecessary churn

Taxes silently reduce available money.

» Emotional discipline during crisis
– Crisis creates fear-based decisions
– Money received suddenly can disappear fast without plan
– Write down priorities before spending
– Review every big payment calmly

Money solves crisis only when mind is steady.

» Finally
– Rs 1 crore is a powerful support, not a permanent solution
– Use it to restore stability, not lifestyle
– Protect, stabilise, then grow
– A structured plan converts crisis money into long-term security

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10997 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 27, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2026Hindi
Money
Dear Sir, I do have decent exposure to Mutual fund investments, I am doing SIPs since 8-9 years however I am really clueless about future of Quants funds. I started SIPs in Quant Small and Mid fund from June 2024, both funds are in negative, appreciations are -8% and -15% respectively. I have Mid fund's SIP. Looking forward to you what to next, shall I continue Small Cap's SIP and keep Mid Cap in AMC for future appreciation or withdraw the fund.
Ans: You have done well by staying invested for 8–9 years. That itself shows discipline and patience. Temporary negative returns can shake confidence, but they do not erase your long-term effort. Your question is valid and many long-term investors are thinking the same.

» Understanding what is happening now
– You started these SIPs only from June 2024
– The investment period is still short
– Mid and small segments are more volatile
– Recent market corrections have hit these segments more

Negative returns in the first 1–2 years are not unusual in such funds.

» About strategy-driven funds and future visibility
– These funds follow a fast-changing investment style
– They may move sharply up and down
– Performance comes in phases, not steadily
– When the market does not suit the strategy, returns can stay weak

This does not mean the strategy has failed, only that the cycle is not supportive right now.

» Evaluating your small-cap SIP
– Small-cap investing needs long holding capacity
– Minimum useful horizon is 7–10 years
– SIPs during weak phases help lower average cost
– Stopping SIP after a fall usually hurts future returns

If this SIP is meant for long-term goals, it should continue.

» Evaluating your mid-cap investment
– Mid-cap funds usually recover faster than small caps
– Holding without SIP still allows recovery participation
– No urgency to exit just because current returns are negative
– Selling now converts temporary loss into permanent loss

Holding patiently is better than reacting emotionally.

» Should you withdraw now
– Withdrawing after recent decline locks in loss
– You miss recovery when the cycle turns
– Taxes may also apply depending on holding period
– Decision should be goal-based, not return-based

Exit only if the fund no longer fits your goal or risk level, not due to short-term pain.

» What you should do instead
– Continue SIP in small-cap if goal horizon is long
– Keep mid-cap investment and review annually
– Avoid frequent switching based on 6–12 month returns
– Ensure these funds are not too large a part of total portfolio

Balance and patience matter more than timing.

» Risk control and portfolio view
– Mid and small caps should not dominate portfolio
– Large and flexible equity styles add stability
– Debt and gold bring balance during equity stress
– Asset allocation should guide decisions, not fund performance

A calm structure reduces future stress.

» Tax angle to remember if you sell
– Equity selling within short term attracts higher tax
– Long-term gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxable
– Unplanned exits increase tax leakage

Tax should not be the main reason to stay or exit, but it must be considered.

» Finally
– Your investing habit is strong
– Current underperformance is a phase, not a verdict
– Staying invested usually rewards patience
– Review with a clear goal lens, not daily NAV movement
– Long-term wealth is built by staying calm during such periods

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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