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27-Year-Old Woman Feeling Pressured to Get Married in Arranged Marriage

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |121 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Aug 19, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Aug 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi I am a 27f. My parents are looking for arrange marriage alliances. I am not looking to get married right now. However, my parents feel pressured and because of that I’m feeling pressured. I kept on saying no to all the rishtas that have come by taking out one or the other problem in family or guy. But now this rishta has come where the family is nice and the guy is super nice too. I’m not able to find any reason to say no to this guy and he seems really interested in me yet I don’t want to get married, not at least this year I feel. I need this year for myself. Moreover I am in love with someone whom I know I won’t be able to get married too. I want this year with him. I feel I cannot betray my bf and be selfish and say yes to this man just because he feels fine to me to get married to. Next year I have decided to give in to my parents demands. Also the man I am dating is wonderful. It’s just we cannot get married because of our age gap. He is 10 years older to me and he never wants to get married. He knows what he wants. I am in such a dilemma what should I do? I feel trapped.

Ans: if you really are looking for suggestions here they are 1) shut all doors with the man who you are dating but you know you have no future with him. 2) get to know the man you have been introduced to and like him and tell him that you wish to know him for a year before you marry him. And let him know your plans on how you wish to know him through the year - all the best.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1155 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 16, 2022

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Hi Anu, I am 30 years old girl and for the past three years, I have been in relationship with a guy who is two years younger to me. He is Marwadi and his parents are not agreeing to our marriage. I have tried breaking up with the guy several times and tried moving on but he always keeps saying that his parents need some time. My BF is a genuine guy and he loves me a lot.My parents on the other hand want me to get married by the end of this year. I am really confused if I should wait for my BF or listen to my parents and get married by their choice. I am unable to understand what to do. I am really depressed. Will it be really late if I get married after 30 or is it okay to wait for my BF?Please help me out.
Ans:

Dear AY,

And is your boyfriend also really depressed like you are?

Is he also desperate to get married?

Is he afraid of talking to his parents?

Does he also want to get married and settle down?

Is there a future for the two of you?

If the answer to each is a YES, please have that ‘uncomfortable yet firm’ conversation with your boyfriend.

Being in a limbo isn’t great, so please ask him how much time he needs to talk to his parents and when he is going to talk to them and how serious is he in this relationship?

Else, it will be an endless wait and that is what seems to be getting to you, the uncertainty.

So, by getting a clear commitment on the WHEN, will eliminate this stress that is eating you away. Things will get clearer, and you will know what to do!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1155 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi there, I have many things going in my life right now and I’m confused what to do, first thing I’m in a relationship with a man who’s 7 years older than me and is also not earning much, we are from different religions. Now as I’m 25 my parents are asking me to get married but some how I’m avoiding it, I’m currently living with them and I’m constant with growth in my career so they also want me to look for better opportunities. The thing is my boyfriend is also in the same city and I’m sad about going far away. He’s very supportive and motivates me to look further opportunities. But again my parents want an answer from me about marriage. And I discussed with my boyfriend as well and he understands that too but he doesn’t want to marry me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When he does not want to marry you, then what makes you waste so much time on him?
Move on with your life; it's not about getting married like the way your parents intend BUT more a signal to yourself to stop in your tracks and focus on what's important to you; your life...

He can be a good friend still supporting you (If the two of you can find that maturity) and you will both be able to walk on your own paths which isn't happening now. When he is clear that he is not going to commit to it, it should be enough data for you to look into yourself and know that you are trying hard to make something happen that does not want to happen. Making sense here?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |129 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Sep 14, 2024

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Money
I am 44 years old, married with a monthly salary of 4.5 lakhs after tax. I own a debt-free house. My daughter is 9 and my son is 4. I am looking to build a corpus of 2 crores for my children's education, 1 crore for their marriages, and to buy two additional houses. I also aim to accumulate a retirement corpus of 10 crores. Please advise on how I can achieve these goals in the next 10-15 years. Current Savings: • Fixed Deposit: 16 lakhs • Shares: 72 lakhs • Provident Fund (PF): 1.4 crores • Mutual Funds: 15 lakhs • Public Provident Fund (PPF): 10.5 lakhs • ULIP: 21 lakhs Ongoing Investments: • ULIP: 3 lakhs/year (for the next 3 years) • PPF: 1.5 lakhs/year (for the next 8 years) • Provident Fund (PF): 82,000/month Including company contribution. • Mutual Fund SIP: 60,000/month • Shares SIP: 30,000/month • Additional Shares Investment: 5 lakhs/year
Ans: Your current savings add upto 2.745 Cr.

Assuming you keep them invested and considering composite moderate return of 8% this will grow upto a sum of 8.71 Cr after 15 years.

Ongoing investments will lead you to a corpus of 6.66 Cr after 15 years(Appropriate conservative returns considering the various investment instruments)

6.66+8.71=15.37 Cr

Retirement corpus goal 10 Cr?
Children education fund goal 2Cr?
Children wedding goal 1Cr?
Additional home(2) buy 2Cr?

Keep reviewing and rationalising your stock holdings and hedge it if necessary as per advice from investment advisor.

Consider SSY in the name of your daughter (8.2% currently with quarterly review by GOI)since it's an E-E-E tax exempt scheme.

Do consider suitable family floater health cover apart employer group coverage.

You may follow us on X at @mars_invest for updates

Happy Investing

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |865 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Sep 14, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6290 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 14, 2024

Money
Mr. Ravi Sharma, a 45-year-old IT professional, is approaching you for investment advice. He has been working for 20 years and plans to retire at the age of 60. Ravi’s current annual income is ?15 lakh, and his household expenses amount to ?8 lakh per year. He wants to create a financial plan that ensures financial security post-retirement and maximizes tax benefits. Ravi’s financial goals include: - Retirement Planning: A corpus of ?2 crore by the age of 60. - Children's Education: ?30 lakh in 5 years for his son's higher education. - Emergency Fund: 6 months of living expenses. - Tax Savings: Maximizing his tax savings under Sections 80C and 80CCD(1B). He has saved ?10 lakh in fixed deposits and ?5 lakh in a savings account, but now realizes he needs a more structured investment plan. Ravi is risk-averse but open to moderate-risk investments if the returns justify them. Assets and Liabilities: - Home Loan: Outstanding balance of ?20 lakh, EMI of ?30,000 per month. - Insurance: ?1 crore life cover (term insurance), and ?10 lakh health insurance cover.
Ans: You've done well in recognizing the need for a more structured financial plan, and I'm happy to guide you in achieving your goals. Let's break down your current situation and financial objectives to create a balanced plan that ensures financial security, maximizes tax benefits, and meets your future needs.

Retirement Planning
Goal: Rs 2 crore by the age of 60

You have 15 years until retirement, which gives us enough time to build your corpus. However, your existing savings are insufficient to meet the Rs 2 crore target. Here's a strategy for you:

Invest in Large-Cap and Hybrid Mutual Funds: Since you prefer moderate risk, large-cap and hybrid mutual funds are ideal. They provide balanced growth with less volatility than pure equity funds. A monthly SIP of Rs 35,000 to Rs 40,000 should help you reach your goal. Over 15 years, assuming a return of around 10-12%, this should be sufficient for a Rs 2 crore corpus.

Diversify your Investments: You can invest a portion in debt mutual funds for stability and balance out the equity exposure. A well-diversified portfolio will ensure your capital is protected while providing moderate growth.

Optimize Current Savings: Instead of leaving Rs 10 lakh in fixed deposits and Rs 5 lakh in your savings account, move a part of these funds into debt mutual funds or hybrid mutual funds. This will provide better returns and help you move closer to your retirement goal without taking on excessive risk.

Children's Education Fund
Goal: Rs 30 lakh in 5 years

To accumulate Rs 30 lakh for your son's higher education in 5 years, you'll need a more conservative approach, as we can't afford significant risks in the short term.

Debt-Oriented Mutual Funds: For this goal, you should look at debt-oriented or balanced mutual funds. Investing Rs 50,000 to Rs 55,000 per month in such funds should allow you to reach your target while minimizing risk.

Fixed Maturity Plans or Recurring Deposits: If you’re more comfortable with fixed returns, you could opt for recurring deposits or fixed maturity plans (FMPs). These will provide stability but come with slightly lower returns than mutual funds. However, they suit your risk-averse nature for short-term goals.

Emergency Fund
Goal: 6 months of living expenses

An emergency fund is essential to cover unexpected situations. Given that your household expenses amount to Rs 8 lakh per year, you should aim to maintain Rs 4 lakh as an emergency fund.

Liquid Mutual Funds: Rather than keeping Rs 5 lakh in a savings account, you can shift a portion of this amount to liquid mutual funds. These funds provide better returns than savings accounts while ensuring easy access when needed.
Tax-Saving Options
You can optimize your tax savings under Sections 80C and 80CCD(1B) to reduce your overall tax liability.

Section 80C (Rs 1.5 lakh deduction): Maximize your savings by investing in:

ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Scheme): While these are equity-focused, they come with a 3-year lock-in period and tax savings, along with higher returns compared to other 80C instruments.
PPF (Public Provident Fund): Since you prefer safer investments, PPF is an excellent option. It offers tax-free returns and is government-backed, which means there's no risk of loss.
National Savings Certificate (NSC): This can be another low-risk investment for your portfolio under 80C.
Section 80CCD(1B) (Additional Rs 50,000 deduction): You can take advantage of this section by investing in the National Pension Scheme (NPS). NPS gives you exposure to both equity and debt and offers flexibility in deciding the risk level. It’s also beneficial for long-term retirement planning.

By fully utilizing these tax-saving options, you’ll reduce your taxable income by Rs 2 lakh, helping you save more while investing for the future.

Home Loan Strategy
Your home loan has an outstanding balance of Rs 20 lakh with an EMI of Rs 30,000 per month. Here’s how you can manage it efficiently:

Consider Prepayment: You could use part of your savings (Rs 10 lakh in fixed deposits) to make a partial prepayment. This will reduce the interest burden and help you close the loan faster. However, if you’re more focused on maintaining liquidity, continue with the current EMI plan and focus on building your investments instead.

Tax Benefits: Don’t forget to claim the tax benefits on your home loan. Under Section 24(b), you can claim up to Rs 2 lakh on the interest paid, which will help reduce your overall tax liability.

Insurance Coverage
You have a Rs 1 crore life insurance cover through a term insurance plan, which is great for securing your family's future. Additionally, your Rs 10 lakh health insurance coverage is adequate for now, but you may want to consider increasing this in the future.

Health Insurance Top-Up: With rising healthcare costs, a top-up plan on your health insurance can give you extra protection. This will ensure you don’t dip into your savings or emergency fund in case of a medical emergency.
Investment Strategy Tailored for You
Given your moderate risk appetite, your investments should provide a balance between growth and safety. Here’s a clear strategy for you:

Equity and Hybrid Mutual Funds: Invest in large-cap or hybrid mutual funds through monthly SIPs to benefit from compounding over time. This will help grow your wealth steadily while minimizing volatility.

Debt-Oriented Investments: For short-term goals like your son’s education, focus on debt-oriented funds or recurring deposits. These options provide predictable returns with minimal risk.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs): SIPs in mutual funds will help you invest consistently and take advantage of market fluctuations through rupee cost averaging.

Optimizing Your Existing Savings
You currently have Rs 10 lakh in fixed deposits and Rs 5 lakh in your savings account. This money is underutilized.

Move a Portion to Mutual Funds: Move some of these funds into balanced or debt mutual funds for better returns while keeping risk low.

Keep a Small Portion Liquid: Maintain Rs 4 lakh in a liquid fund for your emergency fund. The rest should be invested for higher returns, as keeping too much in a savings account earns minimal interest.

Final Insights
Ravi, here’s a quick recap of your plan:

Retirement: Invest Rs 35,000 to Rs 40,000 per month in large-cap and hybrid mutual funds to achieve a Rs 2 crore corpus by the age of 60.
Children’s Education: Save Rs 50,000 to Rs 55,000 per month in debt or balanced funds to meet the Rs 30 lakh goal for your son’s education in 5 years.
Emergency Fund: Keep Rs 4 lakh in liquid funds for emergencies.
Tax Savings: Maximize your tax savings through ELSS, PPF, and NPS under Sections 80C and 80CCD(1B).
Home Loan: Consider prepaying a portion of your Rs 20 lakh home loan or continue with your EMI while focusing on investments.
Insurance: Your current life and health insurance cover is adequate, but consider adding a health insurance top-up for extra protection.
With this comprehensive plan, you’ll be well on your way to achieving financial security, meeting your goals, and reducing your tax burden. I’m confident that this approach will help you secure your future while maintaining a balanced approach to risk and returns.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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