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Confused 23-year-old: Break up or stay with girlfriend from wealthy family?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1629 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 23, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi , I am 23 year old male. I met a girl online , we talked attached and went into relationship. I met her thrice . I broke up with her because I am not sure whether she is right fit for me or not like our vibe matches , I enjoys her company but when I think about other things like will she be able to adjust with my family (my family is kinda orthodox) and she is from wealthy family. I am the sole earner in my family and not financially well in life right now. I am worried about future whether I can make it to marriage or not . I am not sure whether I have taken right decision of breakup or not. I broke up with her on February but I still misses her and she called me again after 6 months and telling me to come again . what to do , please anybody who can advise me . I will be so grateful to you

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
All these things should have been thought of before you broke up with her. Why now? This should have been discussed with her at that time...nothing has changed and she is still the same. So is the financial situation and the family situations...

So, what has to change is your mindset on all of this and you both need to be willing to work around all these challenges. If not, the relationship that you are going to pursue is going to be a stressful one...
If the two of you are serious on it, please sit down and talk about all the differences between both families, the differences between the two of you, what you agree and disagree on and how you are going to resolve all of this...Build your future and NOT worry about it...Have this honest chat and see where it all leads to!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ans: Dear Srikanth,

To me, it sounds like you broke up with her. No, you ghosted her. How you put her on trial isn't clear to me, given the fact that you stopped contacting her after a mere goodbye and no proper explanation. Why did she not try to contact you? Maybe she has enough self-respect to restrain herself from doing so; I cannot speak for her but judging the events, you were the one who broke up and you need to own up to it.

Moving on to her deciding to get married- I am assuming she told you she's happy to marry her intended; if so, please accept the reality and move on. Next, why is she not agreeing to be in a relationship with you till the time she gets married? To expect otherwise from any sane, self-respecting person is delusional.

You knew that the two of you could not end up together and took a decision; immature as it was, your intentions were good. Similarly, your ex chose to move on. I don't see either of you making any considerable mistakes here. Both were right in their ways, except for the "you leaving her without a word" part. It is time you move on, and let her live her life in peace. You might feel low for a while, but nothing feels worse than hurting the people you once loved, and compelling your ex to commit to you when she doesn't want to is the same as hurting her. Make the right choices.

Best Wishes!

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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2025
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I am in a relationship with a girl since 2 years, we have a lot of differences like, she is more than 3 years older than me, our castes are different and she is marathi and I am non marathi. But apart from all this she has just got divorced from court legally, till now she was living separately from his ex husband. She had a affair for about 10 years with her ex but they started living separately just after 8 months of marriage. When I met this girl, we both fell in love, but there were 2-3 mistakes from my side during the first year of our relationship. I lied on small things thinking she will get hurt if she knows that. I haven't cheated, not even talked personal things with any other girl. And for the last one year i have been as honest as anyone can be. But I feel she is not like she used to be. I don't know if I can even call this a relationship anymore. Since we are colleagues we talk in office, we go out for dinner, we still talk lot of personal things too, but that spark is not there. I wanted to marry this girl once. What should I do now?
Ans: Hello sir. Sir, since relationships are very sensitive and the decision to marry someone is an important decision which should be taken with lot of patience so that you don't regret it later. And the thing which you said that she has changed, she may have changed due to your lies. I appreciate that now you are honest with her. Spark needs to be created. It will not remain without effort. If she is sincere with you and you are loyal with her and you both feel that you can spend life together, you should go ahead. Nobody remains the same through out the life. Changes always come. Sit patiently with your friend and discuss the options and see work out if you both want to get married. Then take a decision. I hope this solves your problem.
Take care!
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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir I am a little bit puzzled I passed my boards with 79,8%, my jee exam didn't go well and I am not getting any good private or government college from It. Earlier I was thinking of taking a drop but currently I am 18 and turn 19 this year, so next year when I will be at first year of college I will turn 20 year old so It will delay my graduation for sure. Second option is to take admission in any tier 3 college. I have following options with me (1) SRM sonepat,Haryana(Btech cse aiml) (2) Manav rachna University, Faridabad (Btech cse aiml/data science) (3) NIET, Greater noida (Btech cse computing and mathematics) Which college is best among 3? If I join in any tier 3 I will develop skills and target postgraduate level exam. So sir what should I do In this situation take a drop or join college?
Ans: Hello, I understand this is a confusing time for you, but don’t worry. Many students go through the same phase after 12th.

Taking a drop is an option. But here are the real things you must ask yourself:
• Are you fully confident that you can study with full focus and improve your JEE score next year?
• Are you okay with another year of pressure, studying at home, and no college life till 2026?
• Are you ready to handle the stress and competition?
If the answer is no or not sure, then don’t take a drop.
Because one year of drop will only be worth it if you get a top college like NIT, IIIT, or BITS.
Otherwise, you’ll just lose one year and land in a similar college again.
And don’t worry about age. Turning 20 in 1st year is completely fine. Many students start college at 20 or even later

About Your Current College Options
NIET Greater Noida
• Best out of the three in terms of placement, coding culture, and peer group.
• It is in Noida — good location for internships and off-campus opportunities.
• Has a better track record in CSE-related jobs.
SRM Sonepat
• Decent brand name because of “SRM,” but Sonepat campus is not as strong as the main Chennai one.
• Placements are limited.
• Choose only if you want the SRM tag and nothing else is available.
Manav Rachna
• Okay college, good infrastructure, but placements are not very strong, especially for CSE core jobs.
• Good for students who want to stay closer to home or need a relaxed environment.

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