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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1046 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
AK Question by AK on Feb 23, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

 Hello Mam, I have been relationship in past 2 1/2 years. I saw her in my first matches and she didn’t show interest in me.
Later she got in touch with me and we got into a relationship.
Due to lockdown we couldn’t meet. Whenever I ask her to meet up she used to tell me NO.
We met only 4 times in 2 years.
And I’m only looking her all daily needs and expenses.
She is ready to meet her friends but for me she will tell it’s not possible because of parents and other circumstances.
Sometimes I feel she is using me. I’m confused. What decision should I make? I told her many times 'let’s move on.'
After a couple of days I will only call her to talk but she never says let’s move on.
Please suggest what I should do.

Ans:

Dear AK, maybe she has moved on and at the time when she liked you, you happened to be a mere distraction.

How do you know that you are in a relationship with her? Have the two of you talked about it?

If not, please request for a meeting and simply and kindly ask her where does she see this relationship going in the next 2 years?

That will give you an idea as to why she is avoiding meeting you and seems to find time to meet other people.

If she refuses this meeting as well which is important for both your futures, I think you have your answer and there is nothing more to clarify. Time for you to move on…

All the best!

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Dear Love Guru, I am 50 years divorced man in relation with a 42 years divorced women. We have known to each other for the last 7 years, but only for the 8/9 months we have committed to each other. We intend to marry. But she insists for 40 lakh money and 1 flat in her name. Then only will see agree to marry. She says if not given she will marry another guy who will meet her requirements. I am so much in love that I am thinking of giving her demands and marry her.  But the real problem is, she has many male friends with whom she regularly chats over watsup and messanger. She also goes for dinner with some friends.  Secondly, whenever we go to any group parties (her known) she flirt around with male friends, like taking pictures holding each other, dancing closely together etc. I after ask her dance with me or take snaps with me, she just avoids. I have seen many male friends of her touching her bump or cheeks or holding her waists, she never objects. But when I try to do the same, she objects saying what people will think etc. She tries to stay away from me during the parties. I constantly remind her to stay with me, she says not to be so possessive and allow her some space.  Previously we had sex once a month for 5/6 months, but for the last 3 months she has totally stopped having sex, she says will do it only after marriage. Whenever we had sex, she didnt seems to participate, she just tells me to finish off fast.  Again, I am only one who telephones her every night for talking. She never calls me. Throughout the day she never calls and rarely chats with me. After I propose or insists, we meet once in 10 days. she always prefers to meet in group of friends. With me she talks quite ok, but in group she becomes very lively and active. I am confused whether to proceed for marriage by fulfilling her demands. What if after marriage she repeats the same flirteous nature and not so committed towards me. Please advice and help. Regards.
Ans:

You're confused? There's nothing confusing about the situation -- this woman wants nothing from you except an apartment and money.

She doesn't call you, she doesn't hang out with you, she doesn't like acknowledging you in public, she doesn't like having sex with you and she'll marry someone else if you don't fork over the moolah.

Stop considering how to ruin your life and find someone who's happy with you even minus the Rs 40 lakhs and the flat!

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Ravi

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 12, 2023

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I was in a relationship for 3 months but the girl never reciprocated in the same way as i did.There was no initiative from her side but when I used to ask her why is this happening only i m trying to build but you aren't, she used to say that i was unable to see anything she is doing for me.To be very honest and being impartial if i was at level 10 she was at 1.One day on this very topic some arguments happened and she walked away.After that no message no call and she used to tell me that she loved me but she never ever tried to reach out to me.Now its been one month.I literally am feeling really gloomy.Now she is putting status and showing that to me that i was not ready to build with her i uttered wrong words to her.But honestly i am telling you that I loved her very much and tried all the ways to build with her but she never reciprocated.I still miss her a lot but she seems to moved on so easily that's hurting me too much simultaneously she is putting these statuses too What to do?
Ans: Dear Sid,

If you, even for one moment, felt that you have been putting more work into the relationship than your partner, there must have been reason to believe so. Do not doubt your concerns just because your ex tried to pin the blame on you by minimizing your worries. It's a clear sign of gaslighting. As for the statuses, some people take pleasure in making others feel unnecessarily guilty, even if the fault lies on their part. My advice would be to not pay attention to any of it. If necessary, delete her contact; a clean break might help you move on. Don't do it to show her that you have moved on, but try to move on in reality. You deserve more than half-hearted efforts.

Best Wishes!

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am 26 years old. Doing job in an Mnc, earning decent enough for me and my family. I had a breakup in my early 20s with my long term girlfriend from my school days, since then I am single. Last year I met a girl at the office gym, she works in a different department. We both speak the same language so she approached me and my friend and gave her number. Then we became good friends, used to hangout everything. Even though she had a boyfriend she used to get jealous seeing me with other female friends. 3 months back, her bf married to some other girl of his cast and dumped her. She had physical relationship with her bf as she told but i never had physical with anyone. She used to come and cry in front of me and asked me once as well whether i loved her or not. I ignored as i knew she is just seeing me as an option. Nowadays she is avoiding me a lot giving excuses like she is busy and all and I feel she went into a relationship and just breadcrumbing me because of attention. I also stopped giving her free attention and barely call. But my heart still miss her. I know I don't love her and don't wanna be with her in future as she is very manipulative but being very lonely myself with no friends she used to fill a void in my life. I want her presence, attention, and maybe want to do physical with her casually as she is that type of girl who can get laid easily with someone she likes. What shall I do? I am unable to move on from this and it is affecting my career. Also I want a stable relationship with whom I can have a good future.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

The answer to your question is right there in the question. You do not want her; you want her attention which will feed your ego. It's not love and you know it. If you pursue a casual or serious relationship, chances are one or both of you will get hurt. Now, you mentioned that you want a stable relationship. You should start by focusing on that.

One more thing- it is not up to us to judge someone and call them names like "that type of girl." Wanting to hook up with her casually because you think she'll let you should then make you "that type of boy." These are baseless labels and it's best not to hurl these insults at people. Focus on yourself. Find a date- you can ask your friends to set you up, or family, or you can try out a dating app. Mention that you want a serious relationship; it can increase your chances of finding the right match.

Best Wishes.

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
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Career
Sir, i have completed my bachelors (BCA) in India in an engineering college and wishes to pursue my masters in a foreign country.My family is'nt well off so iam looking into schlorships.can you suggest some courses with good scope. Also which countries are best for IT field that provide great schlorship oppurtunities.
Ans: As far as Scholarships for Abroad Universities are concerned, you should have good scores from the entrance tests (whichever will be applicable according to the University's admission criteria), good past academic records, your extra and co-curricular activities, additional certifications, your Statement of Purpose (SOP), Letter of Recommendation etc. Those who have gained work experience of a minimum 2-3 years after graduation get preference in admission.

And most of the Universities do not provide 100% scholarships. You will have to bear some expenses (depends upon which University / College you get admission into & what all expenses only it will cover?) .

As you have mentioned that your parents NOT well-off financially, it is suggested to work for 2-3 years, earn some money and also gain work experience, then go for further education abroad.

Before approaching any Professional Abroad Education Consultant, do a thorough research about the Countries/Universities/Programs, shortlist those which you think will be most suitable, apply to 5-6 top Univerities offering Scholarships and finalize one best University/College for you.

All the BEST for Your Bright Future.

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