Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 21, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2025Hindi
Money

Hi sir, I am working in a manufacturing company with decent salary. I have 4 dependents including parents. I am the only source of income. But my income is not sufficient for all the future goals, even with a deciplined investments. I restrict myself from any expenditure which is unnecessary. Kindly suggest for all the possible ways to get second income source (level of income doesn't matter). My company rule doesn't allow me to be directly involved in any other business for income. My wife has done masters in psychology & parents can't work.

Ans: You are working in a manufacturing company.
You have a decent salary, but you are the only earning member.
You support four dependents — parents, wife, and maybe a child.
Your wife has a master’s degree in psychology.
Your parents cannot work.
Your income is not sufficient for future goals.
Even disciplined investments are falling short.
You follow a strict spending habit.
You are not allowed to do side businesses directly.
You are now looking for second income sources.
Even small income levels are acceptable.

This shows your responsibility and awareness.
Let’s now look at all possible 360-degree options.

Assessing Your Current Capacity
You are managing everything alone.
Income is not matching your goals.
There is no space to cut more expenses.
You are already disciplined and careful.

Now you need to grow income.
But company policy limits your direct work.
We need legal, practical and ethical ideas.

We also must protect your time and energy.
You cannot overwork and burn out.
You need to earn more without risking your job.

The best way is to leverage your family.
Use skills, knowledge, and time of your wife.
She is educated and capable.

Utilising Your Wife’s Skills
Your wife has done Masters in Psychology.
This is a strong educational qualification.
She can generate income from home.
There are many low-cost ideas available now.

She does not need to step out daily.
She can work from home with flexibility.
She can start small and grow with time.

Here are some possibilities for her:

Offer counselling services online.

Join mental health platforms as freelancer.

Teach psychology students online.

Start content writing for mental health websites.

Create small online courses in regional language.

Guide parents of children with learning needs.

Offer workshops for school students on stress.

Provide help for people dealing with exam pressure.

Do freelancing for research or case studies.

Each of these can be done part time.
There is no need to register business.
No need to invest big money also.

She should first try 1 or 2 options.
She must set up a dedicated work space.
A laptop, headset and internet is enough.
A basic office setup at home works.

She must start promoting through WhatsApp groups.
Use Facebook community groups and LinkedIn.
Many people want low-cost mental support.
She can offer Rs. 200–300 per session model.

Even if she gets 10 clients monthly, it helps.
This small income gives breathing space.
It also helps her grow confidence and experience.

Other Small-Scale Online Options
You may also explore passive-style income options.
These don’t break company rules.
You won’t be directly managing business.

Few examples include:

Writing eBooks and publishing online.

Creating educational PDFs or templates.

Contributing paid articles for niche magazines.

Selling simple designs or artwork online.

Partnering with YouTube channels for research.

Selling homemade craft under someone else’s store.

These ideas need time in early stages.
Once set up, they give small regular income.
No direct client involvement is needed every day.

Make sure you or your wife don’t put upfront money.
Do not buy stock or pay money for online jobs.
Focus only on skill-based efforts.

Skill-Based Courses for Wife
If your wife is not confident now,
She can upgrade herself for online work.

Some useful areas include:

Certificate in Online Counselling

Basic Digital Marketing

Child Psychology Workshop Training

Behavioural Therapy (CBT/REBT) short course

Workshop on school counselling

These are 30-day or 60-day online courses.
Many are offered by reputed NGOs and private bodies.
This builds confidence and skills for clients.

Let her do one course at a time.
Then start small, earn small, grow steadily.

Income Ideas That Don't Need Your Involvement
You cannot directly do second job.
Your company rules prevent this.

But you can invest in people or tools.
Some indirect methods may include:

Invest small amount in your wife’s online practice

Buy a used laptop for her work

Help setup a local tuition batch for children

Provide support to her for payment management

Let her take help of a friend for logistics

You are not doing business yourself.
You are only helping your household earn.
This is not a policy violation.

Also, avoid doing anything that needs your name.
Don’t run a YouTube channel in your name.
Don’t do affiliate marketing using office laptop.
Keep your primary job safe and respected.

Cash Flow Tips to Handle Pressure
Till second income begins, follow these tips:

Keep 6 months of expenses in emergency fund

Stop all luxury spends completely

Switch FDs to debt mutual funds for better returns

Track all expenses weekly in a diary

Use cashback and offer-based payments

Pause all non-essential subscriptions

Check if children’s school fees can be paid quarterly

Claim full tax deductions every year

Even Rs. 1000 saved per month helps now.
This mental space will allow you to breathe.

Review Insurance and Investments
Check your term insurance coverage.
You are the only earner for 4 people.
Cover must be at least 15 to 20 times salary.
If current cover is low, increase it now.

Health insurance must cover parents also.
Check if it includes hospital cash benefit.

Don’t invest in LIC policies for return.
If any endowment or ULIP plan exists, surrender.
Invest that amount into SIPs in regular mutual funds.

Avoid direct mutual funds.
They do not provide regular review support.
You need guidance from a trusted MFD and CFP.
They will help optimise your SIPs.

Ideas for Later Phase Once Pressure Reduces
After 2–3 years, once income improves,
You can also look at long-term sources.
These can include:

Renting one room as paying guest

Building a learning app with your wife’s content

Creating low-cost therapy group programs

Hosting wellness workshops in community halls

Monetising an app with sleep therapy audios

These are advanced plans.
Try them only after short-term goals are stable.

Final Insights
You are doing everything right.
You are responsible, clear, and action-driven.
You are facing a tough financial phase now.
But you are looking for ethical ways out.

You must now:

Support your wife to start earning

Try indirect income without breaking rules

Review insurance and surrender bad policies

Reduce fixed deposits and switch to better options

Keep growing SIPs slowly every year

Stay patient for 1–2 years while efforts take shape

Avoid real estate or risky investments now

Maintain financial discipline with strong family unity

If done right, you will get second income.
Even Rs. 5000 per month makes a big difference.
More important, it gives mental peace and self-respect.

With time and consistency, income will grow.
And you will be able to reach your family’s goals.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 16, 2024

Listen
Money
Hi I'm Karthik, i have 15 lakhs credit and I have 30k salary and I don't have secondary income, please suggest me how to come out this problem.
Ans: Karthik, it's commendable that you're seeking guidance to address your financial challenges. Let's assess your current situation and explore potential solutions.

Analyzing Debt and Income
Debt: You mentioned having a 15 lakh credit, which can be a significant burden. Understanding the nature of this debt, such as its interest rate and repayment terms, is essential.
Income: With a monthly salary of 30,000 and no secondary income, it's vital to evaluate your cash flow and how much of your income is allocated towards debt repayment and living expenses.
Creating a Plan to Overcome Debt
Budgeting: Start by creating a detailed budget to track your income and expenses. Identify areas where you can cut back on spending to allocate more towards debt repayment.
Debt Repayment Strategy: Explore strategies such as the debt snowball or debt avalanche method to prioritize and pay off your debts systematically. Focus on paying off high-interest debt first while making minimum payments on others.
Increasing Income: Consider avenues to increase your income, such as pursuing additional skills or part-time employment. Even small increments in income can significantly impact your ability to repay debt.
Negotiation: Reach out to your creditors to negotiate lower interest rates or flexible repayment terms, especially if you're facing difficulty meeting your current obligations.
Seeking Professional Assistance
Financial Advisor Consultation: Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) who can provide personalized advice and help you develop a comprehensive financial plan tailored to your goals and circumstances.
Credit Counseling: Non-profit credit counseling agencies can provide valuable guidance on debt management, budgeting, and negotiating with creditors.
Cultivating Financial Discipline
Mindful Spending: Cultivate habits of mindful spending and avoid unnecessary expenses. Prioritize needs over wants and focus on building a strong financial foundation.
Emergency Fund: Once you've addressed your debt, prioritize building an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses and prevent future reliance on credit.
Conclusion
Karthik, overcoming financial challenges requires patience, discipline, and a proactive approach. By creating a realistic plan, seeking professional guidance, and adopting prudent financial habits, you can work towards achieving financial stability and peace of mind.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 16, 2024

Money
Dear Mr. Kalirajan, My Name is Ajay aged 53, i left my job a year ago due to some health issues and do not intend to rejoin again. i have my own house along with a saving of 2.10 CR mainly in MF, Bank FD and direct equity in proportion of 60% Equity and 40% Debt. I have one daughter in class 12th and have earmarked a sum of 50 Lacs for her education invested 50:50 in Debt and equity. with remaining 1.60CR how can i generate an income of one lac Per month. i Am adequately covered in terms of health and life Insurance and also i receive Rs.10000 per month from a pension plan. Your Valuable suggestion will be really helpful. Regards, Ajay
Ans: Assessment of Current Financial Situation

Ajay, it is commendable that you have a well-structured portfolio, especially considering your early retirement due to health reasons. Your current savings of Rs. 2.10 crore, with a 60% allocation to equity and 40% to debt, provides a solid foundation. Additionally, you’ve set aside Rs. 50 lakhs for your daughter’s education, reflecting a thoughtful approach to future needs.

You aim to generate a monthly income of Rs. 1 lakh from your remaining corpus of Rs. 1.60 crore, which will supplement the Rs. 10,000 you receive from your pension plan. Given the current structure of your investments, a well-balanced strategy can help achieve this goal while preserving your capital.

Evaluating the Existing Portfolio
Your portfolio is currently divided into 60% equity and 40% debt. While equity offers potential for growth, debt ensures stability. However, given your goal of generating a stable monthly income, it’s essential to reassess this allocation. At 53, with no intent to rejoin the workforce, preserving your capital and generating a regular income should take precedence over aggressive growth.

Equity Exposure: While equity investments are essential for growth, they come with volatility. A 60% exposure may be higher than necessary for your current income needs. It may be wise to reduce this to 40-50%, ensuring that you can still benefit from growth while reducing risk.

Debt Allocation: Your 40% debt allocation provides stability. This can be further optimized to ensure it generates steady income. By including more conservative debt instruments, you can enhance income generation without taking on excessive risk.

Strategies to Generate Rs. 1 Lakh Monthly Income
Your goal of Rs. 1 lakh per month can be achieved by carefully structuring your investments to provide regular income. Let’s explore how to achieve this:

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): An SWP from your mutual funds can provide a regular monthly income. By withdrawing a fixed amount each month, you can ensure a steady cash flow while your investments continue to grow. It’s advisable to set up SWPs from both your equity and debt mutual funds, ensuring a balanced approach.

Fixed Deposits (FDs) and Debt Funds: A portion of your Rs. 1.60 crore can be allocated to FDs and debt funds that offer monthly or quarterly interest payouts. This will provide a reliable income stream, supplementing your SWP. Debt funds, in particular, offer tax efficiency, especially for long-term holdings.

Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds automatically adjust between equity and debt based on market conditions. They offer the dual benefit of growth and stability. By investing in these, you can enjoy a balanced approach that aligns with your income needs.

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS): Although you are not yet eligible, it’s worth considering for future years when you turn 60. SCSS offers a stable income with attractive interest rates, suitable for retirees.

Rebalancing Your Portfolio
Given your current situation, it’s crucial to rebalance your portfolio to align with your income goals. Here’s how:

Reduce Equity Exposure: Lower your equity exposure to 40-50%. This will reduce the volatility in your portfolio, ensuring that you are not forced to sell assets at a loss during market downturns.

Increase Debt and Income-Oriented Investments: Allocate a larger portion of your portfolio to debt instruments that provide regular income. This will help in generating the required Rs. 1 lakh per month.

Diversification: Ensure that your investments are diversified across various asset classes. This reduces risk and provides a more stable return. Consider adding some conservative hybrid funds or balanced advantage funds to your portfolio.

Addressing Education Funding
You’ve wisely earmarked Rs. 50 lakhs for your daughter’s education, split evenly between debt and equity. This strategy is sound, but given that your daughter is in 12th grade, you may need to re-evaluate the equity portion.

Shift to Conservative Investments: As your daughter approaches college, it might be prudent to gradually shift a portion of the equity investments into more conservative debt instruments. This ensures that the funds are available when needed without the risk of market fluctuations.

Education Loans: If necessary, consider an education loan to cover any shortfall in funds. This can be a strategic move, allowing you to preserve your investments while benefiting from the tax advantages on education loan interest.

Managing Risks and Ensuring Stability
Your health issues have already influenced your decision to retire early. It’s essential to consider the following to manage risks and ensure financial stability:

Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 12 months of expenses. This ensures that you have immediate liquidity in case of unexpected expenses.

Insurance Coverage: You’ve mentioned being adequately covered in terms of health and life insurance. Ensure that your health insurance provides comprehensive coverage for you and your family. Given your early retirement, also consider a critical illness rider if not already included in your policy.

Inflation Protection: Ensure your investments are inflation-protected. While debt instruments provide stability, they often lag behind inflation. Hence, a portion of your portfolio must still be allocated to growth-oriented assets like equity.

Tax-Efficient Withdrawal Strategy
Generating Rs. 1 lakh per month also requires a tax-efficient strategy. Here’s how you can minimize taxes on your withdrawals:

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG): Utilize the tax benefits of LTCG on equity investments. By systematically withdrawing gains, you can stay within the tax-free limit of Rs. 1.25 lakh per year.

Tax-Advantaged Debt Funds: Consider debt funds that offer indexation benefits, reducing the tax burden on your withdrawals.

Avoid Early Withdrawals: If possible, avoid withdrawing from investments before they have reached a tax-advantaged status. This will help minimize taxes and maximize your income.

Final Insights
Ajay, your current financial situation is strong, with a well-balanced portfolio and a clear goal. By slightly adjusting your asset allocation and focusing on income generation, you can comfortably achieve your target of Rs. 1 lakh per month.

Ensure that your portfolio remains diversified and rebalanced periodically. This will help you manage risks while enjoying a steady income. Your daughter’s education is well-covered, but a shift towards more conservative investments as she nears college would be prudent.

With these adjustments, you can enjoy a worry-free retirement with a stable income stream that meets your needs.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 02, 2025

Money
I am 40years old with monthly income of 1.25lakh and I have FD of 10 lakhs,hdfc sanchayplus policy premium yearly 35k,hdfc ulip growth plus policy premium of 25k, reliance cash back policy of 15k,lic jeevan labh policy of 11k per annum.apart from this health insurance of 25k per annum.i have loan of 8lalhs paying 17721 per month tenure of 4years till 2030.having small house in home town which generates income of 6k per month with valuation of property 30lakh. I have family dependent with 2 children in 8th class and 1stclass.i have expenses around 1lakh per month.my job is not consistent these days please let know how I can generate income source by investment or savings?
Ans: You have managed a few investments and insurance plans. That’s a good starting point.
You also support your family and children’s education. That’s truly responsible.
Given your job uncertainty and expenses, income stability is the top priority now.

Let’s explore a 360-degree plan to generate income through investment and savings.
I will also show how to optimise what you already hold.

» Review of Current Financial Position

– You earn Rs 1.25 lakh monthly. That is a good base income.
– Monthly expenses are Rs 1 lakh. This leaves just Rs 25,000 for savings.
– You have a loan of Rs 8 lakhs. EMI is Rs 17,721 monthly till 2030.
– You own a small house earning Rs 6,000 per month. Property value is Rs 30 lakhs.
– You have a Rs 10 lakh FD. It provides liquidity and safety.
– You are paying Rs 86,000 yearly on traditional insurance and ULIP.
– You have a health policy of Rs 25,000 yearly. That’s essential. Good job.

You have some assets, but current cash flow is very tight.
Let’s see how to increase investable surplus and also generate passive income.

» First Focus: Improve Cash Flow Immediately

– Your EMI and expenses take away Rs 1.18 lakhs monthly.
– Job is not stable, so emergency support is critical.
– First step: build emergency fund of Rs 2–3 lakhs from FD.
– Keep this in savings account with sweep-in or in ultra-short debt fund.

– Stop new premium payments to investment-cum-insurance policies if lock-in is over.
– These policies are less rewarding. We’ll optimise them soon.
– Do not take any new policies until cash flow improves.
– Start reducing monthly expenses where possible. Target Rs 80,000 or less.

» Analyse Existing Insurance-Based Investments

You are paying Rs 86,000 yearly in the following:

HDFC Sanchay Plus (Rs 35,000/year)

HDFC ULIP Growth Plus (Rs 25,000/year)

Reliance Cash Back Policy (Rs 15,000/year)

LIC Jeevan Labh (Rs 11,000/year)

– These are not wealth-creating tools. Returns are low.
– Insurance-cum-investment plans typically yield 4–6% returns.
– ULIPs also carry high charges in the initial years.

If policies have run over 5 years, review surrender value.

Check whether surrender now gives reasonable return.

If yes, surrender and reinvest in mutual funds via CFP-guided MFD route.

Avoid direct funds. Direct plans offer no personalised guidance.

A regular plan via a Certified Financial Planner offers ongoing advice and suitability check.

– If surrender charges are high, make them paid-up.
– That way, you stop future premiums and retain maturity amount later.

This step alone can free up Rs 86,000 yearly.
That’s Rs 7,000 monthly. Very useful for you now.

» Focus on Loan Strategy and Debt Control

– Your EMI of Rs 17,721 for a Rs 8 lakh loan is heavy.
– Check if it is a personal loan or secured loan.
– If personal, try to prepay partly using FD.

– Use Rs 2–3 lakh from FD to reduce loan principal.
– That will reduce EMI or tenure. Choose whichever helps you now.
– Lower EMI will ease cash outflow.

– Do not take fresh loans to invest or to close older loans.
– Avoid credit card rolling balance. Interest is very high.
– Focus should be debt freedom in 3–4 years.

» Review and Repurpose the Rs 10 Lakh FD

– FD gives safety but low returns. Around 6.5% or less.
– From this, earmark Rs 2–3 lakh for emergency fund.
– Rs 2–3 lakh can be used for partial loan prepayment.
– Balance Rs 4–5 lakh can be structured for income generation.

– Consider investing in hybrid mutual funds via regular plan through a CFP.
– They offer 8–10% return with moderate risk.
– Choose monthly income withdrawal option if needed.
– Avoid annuities. They offer poor returns and tax efficiency.

– Also avoid direct mutual fund plans.
– Regular plans come with guidance and hand-holding.
– A Certified Financial Planner will help with rebalancing and reallocation.

– Do not use index funds or ETFs now.
– Index funds are unmanaged. No downside protection.
– Active funds adapt to market shifts. Helpful in volatile periods.

» Generating Passive Income: Monthly Income Plan

Your goal is to create steady monthly income apart from salary.

– Rental from your small house: Rs 6,000 per month.
– Explore if rent can be increased by Rs 1,000–2,000.
– Consider online rental listing platforms.
– Ensure legal agreements are renewed.

– Rs 5 lakh invested in hybrid mutual funds with dividend withdrawal:

Can give approx Rs 3,000–4,000 monthly income.

Long-term, it can also grow capital slowly.

– SIP of Rs 2,000 per month can be started once cash flow stabilises.
– Choose flexi-cap or balanced advantage type schemes.
– These give flexibility with moderate risk.

– Avoid small cap or thematic funds now. Too risky in uncertain income phase.

– As income improves, increase SIPs and move towards growth funds.
– Consult a CFP monthly or quarterly for course correction.

» Education Planning for Your Children

Your children are in 8th and 1st standard now.
You have 10–15 years before higher education. Use this window.

– Target SIPs of Rs 5,000–10,000 monthly once income improves.
– Use equity-oriented hybrid funds for stable growth.
– These are better than traditional child plans.

– Use a separate folio for each child. Helps tracking.
– Review annually with help from CFP.
– Avoid direct investments and index funds here.
– They lack personalised support and active risk control.

– Create mental buckets for each education milestone.
– Start small now, grow bigger as job stabilises.

» Health Cover and Protection Planning

You have Rs 25,000 yearly health insurance. That’s good.
Check if it covers all family members including children.

– If not, take a family floater policy with Rs 10–15 lakh sum insured.
– Avoid top-ups unless base policy is strong.

– Take term insurance of Rs 50–75 lakh if not already covered.
– Premium will be around Rs 10,000–12,000 per year.
– Don’t mix insurance and investments.
– ULIP or traditional policies don’t offer right protection.

– With two kids and loan, term insurance is must.
– This ensures family’s income continuity if something happens to you.

» Income Stability with Side Hustles

You mentioned job consistency is an issue.
Let’s explore side income options.

– If you have any skill: consider freelancing or part-time teaching.
– Use portals like UrbanPro, Upwork, or Internshala.
– Consider weekend tuition or online training if subject knowledge is strong.

– If any hobby can be monetised, try YouTube or blogging.
– Keep one day per week for skill development.

– Avoid risky trading or crypto-based income ideas.
– Stay within legal and ethical frameworks.

– Small businesses like tiffin service or online reselling can help too.

– Set a goal to earn Rs 5,000 extra per month in 6 months.
– Slowly grow it to Rs 15,000–20,000 monthly over 1–2 years.

» Simplified Monthly Action Plan

– Reduce expenses to Rs 80,000 max
– Make Rs 3 lakh FD as emergency fund
– Use Rs 2 lakh FD to prepay loan
– Invest Rs 5 lakh in hybrid mutual fund for income
– Surrender or make policies paid-up if feasible
– Start SIP of Rs 2,000 in child-focused hybrid fund
– Increase rent by Rs 1,000–2,000 if possible
– Take new term plan if not already done
– Explore side income based on your skill
– Review plan every 3 months with Certified Financial Planner

» Finally

You’ve taken the first step by asking for a better way. That’s the most important.
By freeing up locked capital, reducing loan burden, and investing wisely,
you can slowly create monthly income and protect your family’s future.

This plan is practical, low risk, and designed for flexibility.
It balances safety, growth, and income in a way that fits your situation.
Even with job instability, this roadmap can support you with the right mix of actions.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x