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Should I Move Away from My Family After Class 12th?

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6893 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Aug 03, 2024

Radheshyam Zanwar is the founder of Zanwar Classes which prepares aspirants for competitive exams such as MHT-CET, IIT-JEE and NEET-UG.
Based in Aurangabad, Maharashtra, it provides coaching for Class 10 and Class 12 students as well.
Since the last 25 years, Radheshyam has been teaching mathematics to Class 11 and Class 12 students and coaching them for engineering and medical entrance examinations.
Radheshyam completed his civil engineering from the Government Engineering College in Aurangabad.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2024Hindi
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Career

I HAD JUST COMPLETED MY CLASS 12TH WITH SCIENCE STREAM AND I AM ABOUT TO JOIN COLLEGE BUT TODAY I GOT A THOUGHT THAT SHOULD I MOVE OUT , AWAY FROM MY FAMILY ?..I BELONGED TO A GUJARATI FAMILY LIVING IN SURAT..I JUST WANT TO ASK IS IT IS GOOD TO MOVE AWAY FROM FAMILY TO LIVE ALONELY.. SOMETIMES I THOUGHT THAT WHY TO LEAVE HOMETOWN TO LIVE IN METRO CITIES..MY FATHER IS A BUSINESSMAN AND MY ENTIRE RELATIVES LIVES IN SURAT..I THINKS I SHOULD SETTLE IN MY HOMETOWN AS IT WILL BE GOOD FOR ME FINANCIALLY AND MENTALLY..BUT I WANT ADVICE THAT IS I AM THINKING RIGHT OR NOT ? PLEASE HELP ME I AM VERY TENSED ABD WORRIED ABOUT MY FUTURE

Ans: Hi. You are thinking wrong. Your thoughts are not practical. Along with you, your family members will come under huge tension from a single wrong step. First, you talk to a family person, whom you trust more. If you do not, then talk with a psychiatrist or a counselor.

Radheshyam Zanwar, Aurangabad (MS)
Career

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 19, 2024Hindi
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Hello Guru g, I am a merchant Navy professional, I have just married, But things in my family were not good before my marriage and after marriage the things are same , like fights of my mother with my grandmother, my father and mother fights, there is a toxic environment in my house, my time I have tried to neutralise the things but I can't change them it's in there basic nature, I don't want to live anymore with my parents, because in Village people all-around fill their minds with different things and they bing it to our house , because some people here can't see us growing, so I have decided that I will not live here, Then I left with two options either I move to city or go abroad, of I choose the first one then how would I convince my parents to go to city with them, what should I tell them so that they also didn't get hurt and allow me to take this step and also how can I find a good society because we are newly married couple and security is my main concern because I am very afraid of cities because there criminal activities are more than villages , and If I choose the 2nd option then I have to spend a lot of money but I wanted to do business in India because there is a lot of scope here and expenses to live a life is less here, so kindly help me take decision, I will be very thankful to you .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You don't prefer the 'toxicity'!
You are afraid of big cities as criminal activities are more than the cities!
Your parents may not move in to the city but you also find the environment they are in toxic!
You feel some people can't see you growing!
You don't prefer going abroad as you want to business in India!

Can you see how you have restricted yourself? This is called having a dream BUT clipping one's own wings. How can you make a decision when there are so many self-imposed constraints?
I suggest:
- Drop down all the options possible
- List down the pros and cons of each
- Choose the one that is financially viable
- Let your parents choose where they want to live

You have just started your family life; focus on what's best from a growth perspective...take decisions that help your marriage and career grow...And oh, you can choose to see the crime in the city OR you can choose to see opportunities...where is your focus?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
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Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Mam, why do women always have to adjust in a marriage? Why don't our parents ever accept that men can be at fault too? Whenever I tell my mother or mother in law about something hurtful my husband said or did, she tells me to forgive and move on. He never apologises or thinks he has done anything wrong. My husband and I are married for 11 years, but he never admits he has done anything wrong. Isn't it disrespectful and unfair to ask a woman to adjust and ignore without listening to both sides of the story?
Ans: You’re right. It’s unfair. And it’s exhausting.
Women are told to “adjust” because it’s easier for families to keep peace than to hold men accountable. Your mother and mother-in-law are not really judging right or wrong — they’re choosing convenience over fairness.

But that doesn’t make it correct.

If your husband never apologises, never reflects, and you are always the one expected to move on, then this is not adjustment — this is imbalance.

And the real issue is not your parents anymore.
It’s that your husband has learned he doesn’t have to take responsibility, because the system around him supports that.

You don’t need to argue with your parents to prove your point.
You need to stop silently accepting a pattern that hurts you.

You don’t have to fight.
But you also don’t have to keep absorbing everything.

A simple shift is this:
instead of explaining again and again, just say calmly —
“This hurt me. I’m not okay with ignoring it.”

And then don’t rush to normalise things immediately.

Respect in a marriage doesn’t come from adjusting more.
It comes when the other person realises you won’t keep accepting less.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |715 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 30, 2026Hindi
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My bf checks my phone without permission. I am in a two-year relationship with my boyfriend, and initially everything felt perfect, but now he constantly criticises what I wear, who I talk to, and even checks my phone's notifications. Last week, he created a scene at my friend’s birthday party because I was talking to a male colleague. He even blamed me for “disrespecting” the relationship and did not speak to me for two days. I feel mentally exhausted trying to explain but he says he is too committed and wants to know if I am genuinely interested in a life ahead with him. Part of me is also scared of losing him because he was there for me during a difficult phase in my life. When I explain something and he apologises, I see a side to him which makes it harder to leave. My friends who have not met him feel this is a toxic red flag behaviour . Do you think they could be right or is this something that can improve with time? How do I understand if this relationship is turning emotionally abusive?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how exhausting it can be to be constantly doubted when you are not doing anything wrong. Well, your friends’ opinion, while a bit harsh, is not completely wrong. It is a toxic pattern and it needs to be checked if you want to have a healthy relationship. You need to have an open discussion about this with him; tell him how it makes you feel whenever he suspects you of some wrongdoing. Also ask him why does he feel this way so often when every time it is proven that you are loyal to the relationship and him. It is important to understand what is the root cause of this mistrust. This is the only way to move ahead with this relationship and not lose your sanity. If, even after the talk, he continues to exhibit the same behavioural pattern, I would recommend you rethink the relationship because it won’t be an easy life, where you have to constantly prove your innocence. Relationships aren’t based just on love; it needs mutual trust and respect to grow.

Hope this helps.

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