Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1328 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 27, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
V Question by V on Dec 20, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Dear Sir/Madam, I am 58 years old and my personal and professional life is a real mess On the personal front I have been in a relationship with a 46 year old since 2010 while my wife and my grown up marriageable age children have virtually disallowed me in my own house. I am fairly rich and have a string of homes and farm houses in Wai and Alibag. The girl I am in love with is a divorcee and has a son now of about 19 years. She works as a manager in a company near Pune. I regularly visit her and we go physical. Although I want a divorce she is unrelenting since she says I have been cheating on her for the last 13 years. She has demanded that I give all my hard earned wealth to her for my unfaithful behaviour. My lover (am being vocal about it) has asked me a large sum of money and a house in Mumbai which I am unable to provide her with. Her son does not know about our long standing affair. I do not want to leave her. Meanwhile my directors in the company have demanded that I transfer all my share holding to my wife who is a minority stakeholder. I do not know what to do. Please help.

Ans: Dear V,
Your question has been answered already here:
https://gurus.rediff.com/question/qdtl/relationship/anu-58-businessman-well-married-36-2-adult-children-28/5147140

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |407 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 16, 2023

Listen
Relationship
I am 38, married male with two kids. I got in touch with a widow aged 48 years and in a good relationship. She proposed me first and initiated into relationship. Prior to our relationship, she was in a relationship of 27 years and was still in his touch. Her husband expired just five days into our relationship. After that, when i got to know her relationship of 27 years, i tried to brake the relationship but she insisted that she is just good friend to him, and nothing more now. I relied on her version. Lately, from the past six months, she made my life hell by levelling allegations on me that I have relationship with my sister in law. I tried to make her understand that I call her beta as she is around 23 but still doesnt want to understand. I broke her with on 27 june, but she came again in july this year and said sorry. During quarrel period, she made call to my wife, my friends and levelled filthy allegations against me. When she came back, I forgave her and tried to make peace with her. But after that too, she still believes that I am in relationship with my sister in law. I got fed up with her and again broke with her. One thing more that we both invested our money in making one building as builder. She doesnot have permanent source of income and relies on making money as PG counseller. During this, she suffered from financial problems and took care of her monthly expenses, her ration, etc. Kindly help.
Ans: It sounds like you've been through a complex and challenging situation. Dealing with personal relationships, especially when there are allegations and trust issues, can be very difficult. Here are some steps and considerations to help you navigate this situation:

Reflect on Your Priorities: Take some time to reflect on what you want in your life and what is most important to you. This includes considering your family, your own happiness, and your financial stability.

Open and honest communication is essential. It's important to have a calm and honest conversation with her about your concerns and feelings. Ask her to clarify her doubts about your relationship with your sister-in-law and express how these accusations are affecting you and your family.

Trust Issues: Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If trust has been repeatedly broken, it can be challenging to rebuild. Discuss the importance of trust with her and see if there's a way to work together on rebuilding it. Be prepared to listen to her concerns as well.

Boundaries: It's essential to establish clear boundaries in your relationship. Discuss what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Make sure both of you are on the same page regarding these boundaries.

Counseling: Consider seeking the help of a relationship counselor or therapist. Professional guidance can be beneficial in resolving complex issues and improving communication.

Financial Matters: If you both have invested money in a property together, it's important to discuss how to handle this aspect of your relationship. Consult with a legal professional to understand your options and ensure a fair resolution.

Self-care: This situation has likely taken a toll on your emotional well-being. Ensure that you are taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically. Reach out to friends and family for support.
Reevaluate the Relationship: Reflect on whether this relationship is healthy and if it's in the best interest of both parties. Sometimes, it's necessary to make difficult decisions for your own well-being.

Talk to Your Wife: Be open with your wife about the situation. Let her know what has been happening and reassure her of your commitment to your marriage.

Protect Your Reputation: If this woman continues to make false allegations against you, it might be necessary to take legal action to protect your reputation. Consult with an attorney about any potential defamation or harassment issues.

Distance Yourself: If the relationship with this woman is causing you significant stress and harm, it may be best to maintain distance from her. Focus on your family, your work, and your own well-being.

Learn from the Experience: Use this difficult situation as an opportunity for personal growth. Reflect on what you've learned about yourself and your relationships, and use that knowledge to make better choices in the future.


Legal Advice: If the financial aspect of your relationship becomes contentious, consider consulting with a lawyer to protect your interests and explore legal options regarding the property you both invested in.

Remember that each relationship is unique, and there may not be a one-size-fits-all solution. The most important thing is to prioritize your well-being and the well-being of your family. It may also be helpful to involve a therapist or counselor to mediate the situation and provide guidance on how to move forward.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1328 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 27, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Dear Anu, I am a 58 year old businessman and am very well to do. I am married for the last 36 years and have 2 adult children, a 28 year old son and a daughter who is 25 years. I expect my son to take over my business. Since 2010 I have been in an affair with a woman who is 12 years younger to me. I wish to marry her even after 13 years of relationship. I even sought a divorce with my wife who is also a director in my company. Her demands are so high that it will leave me a pauper. I cannot leave this girl in the lurch. She is now 45 and unmarried. Now after 13 years she too has started demanding probably due to growing age and insecurity. We regularly have sex. I have not slept with my wife for over 12 years now. I consulted many lawyers but all said that mine is a hopeless case. to top it all, my other directors have also ganged up against me in support of my wife. My children too are against me so much so that they do not allow me in my own house. My girl friend is getting increasingly demanding and calling and telling me if I do not give her money or marry her she will go to court. She is now saying that since her siblings have dissociated her from their family I should give her INR 10 crores + a 3 BHK flat. I do have 2 mercedes benz, a skodia yeti, a harley davidson, a small farm house in Wai, a bungalow in Alibag in addition to a plush 5 bhk flat in Thane. What should do? Please help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How does Love turn into Greed?
And you still 'wish' to get married to her after all her demands? It's blackmail for heaven's sake!
At least for now, kindly realign with your family...Your wealth and assets must be protected.
What evidence does your girlfriend have against you to go to court and intimidate you this way?

Please take a firm stance and choose the side that protects your wealth and also your personal identity. You have put yourself at grave risk and for what? You will end up losing your family as well. Your girlfriend being alienated by her siblings has nothing to do with you...so why would you pay her? It doesn't make any sense. Once you yield to blackmail, it will continue...and who knows for how long!

Choose a side wisely and then stick by it firmly...I am sure you know what is to be done...

All the best!

..Read more

Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Dec 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 43 yrs old . I have love marriage post 16 yrs of long battle of ups and down in personal life with my fiancee who's my wife now . In these last 16 years also she had affair with 3-4 Mens before returning to me. One of them was her office colleague who's marries now too. For. Last 2 years it was more of a distance relationship whereas she stays in one town and am in other coz of our job commitments. I had promised her to fulfill financial goals such as change in job better financial stability house car honeymoon in abroad but due to financial limitation and medical emergencies with mother I couldn't manage her expectations. Now she is saying she has given me enough time and asked for. Mutual divorce. She has filed in court also. Unwillingly just to keep her words I signed docs but I didn't want divorce Infact I love her blindly. Meanwhile I came to realize she has stated affair with same Ex colleague of been offoce who's posted t some other place. She is pressuring him to get divorce from existing wife and move on in their life post our divorce. That guy is just using her physically and financially. That guy has bought apartment by borrowing 1 Mn INR from my wife whereas in last 2 years if my medical emergency she has never ever helped with even 10k and always shows me as a bigger for. Money. I know end result would be divorce as she wants the same and now openly she is enjoying her days and weekends with that guy. Have told to her family members but being financially independent she hardly listens to anyone. She is branch manager of govt bank and. I am private job employee. Her age is 33 yrs and her existing boyfriend age is also same. Working in same organisation. I am helpless what to do knowing the fact she has been giving herself to her boyfriend. In marriage relationship she has betrayed me again. She is asking for divorce to look after her rest of life in better way. I don't know what to do I loved her blindly n still do.
Ans: She has not betrayed you. Your relationship with her appears to be transactional. You don't love her. You are just needy because you don't have any other options. My advice is to give her divorce and move on. If you need help with that, you can reach out to me.

She doesn't owe you anything. Take your own responsibility as a man and get a better woman who loves you

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |13 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Nov 26, 2024

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |13 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Nov 26, 2024

Listen
Health
Hello mam, I am a girl 18years old I had pcod since my period started I got my period when I was 13years that time everything was ok but after few months I was bleeding heavy getting menses 2-3in a month so my mom got very worried and she takes me to a gynaecologist and she prescription and tablets like "novelon"and then I am ok but after that I didn't get my periods for few months and also that time lockdown happened so we can't go to a gynaecologist and then after everything got normal and hospitals we go to the doctor and she asked from how many time you don't get your menses and then I replied from past 6months and she shouted on me and immediately told me to have ultrasound and after seeing the reports she said you have pcod then the rest of the story you know I am still suffering from this disease I don't get my periods if I don't take the tablets now I can't understand what to do even I changed a lot of gynaecologists but nothing happened and they this is a incurable disease you have to take tablets for lifetime and also I am not even financially strong
Ans: Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a hormonal condition that can cause irregular or absent menstrual periods.
Higher amounts of androgens in PCOS can interfere with egg development and ovulation, leading to skipped or absent periods.
One of the best ways to cope with PCOS is to maintain a healthy bodyweight, eat nutritious foods and exercise regularly.
LIFESTYLE CHANGES:
Eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and maintaining a healthy weight can help regulate your menstrual cycle
BIRTH CONTROL PILLS:
Combination oral contraceptives (COCs) can help regulate menstrual periods and treat acne and hirsutism. It can take up to six months to see if birth control is effective.
ANTIESTROGENS:
These medicines can help with skin and hair growth problems
METFORMIN
This diabetes medicine can help control ovulation and androgen levels, which can make menstrual cycles more regular
Supplements containing
Myo ionositol, chirositol, vitamin D, chromium also helps in maintaining pco

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x