विशेषज्ञ की सलाह चाहिए?हमारे गुरु मदद कर सकते हैं

Archana Deshpande | Answer |Ask -Follow

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 14, 2025

Archana Deshpande, the founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching, is an image consultant, soft skills trainer and life coach.
She has been working with individuals and corporate organisations for more than 10 years during which she has helped professionals and students improve their soft skills, build confidence and enhance self-esteem.
An engineer from the PDA College of Engineering, Gulbarga, Archana had a successful career at Reliance Communications. But she has always been interested in teaching and training people. So she pursued a postgraduate diploma in teacher’s training at Pune’s Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies followed by teaching assignments in schools at Visakhapatnam and Mumbai.
Archana also holds an international certificate in image consulting and soft skills training from the Image Consulting Business Institute, Mumbai.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2025

I am 32 and I have been working really hard to build my career. I love what I do, and I've invested a lot of time and energy to grow in my role. But somehow, at work, especially during informal conversations, people often ask me questions like, 'When are you planning to settle down?' or 'Any baby plans on the horizon?' or even worse, 'You should start thinking about family before it's too late.' Sometimes these are casual remarks during lunch breaks, after meetings when the tone turns casual. Surprisingly, it's not always from older colleagues. Even people my age do it. It's personally frustrating because the underlying message seems to be: Your career is fine for now, but surely you will slow down or quit once you get married or have kids, right? It feels like no matter how well I perform or how passionate I am about my work, there's always this unspoken assumption that it's all temporary. I don't want to snap or sound defensive because that often backfires. At the same time, I also don't want to smile politely and let these questions continue. I want to protect my boundaries while still being professional and graceful.

Ans: Hi!!

To be in a position where you are today and say, ' I love what I do', is simply stupendous, congratulations!

In the context of you being 32 and still unmarried will definitely get you the comments that you are receiving... and like you said they are happening informally casually... so just treat them that way, casually... answer them, don't avoid them or don't show annoyance. Just answer them with a ,"not happening anytime soon, ask me after 02 years", or any other casual remark you deem fit.

I can understand the frustration...forget about what other people are trying to imply etc , they are just casual remarks and take them that way.
"I don't want to snap or sound defensive because that often backfires", this is your remark I am requoting, don't give too much importance to it, if you are sure of what you want in life, you don't have to explain anything to others, it is none of their business any way, just shrug your shoulders and move on! You can't change people...
Also I would like to state, that it is ok to take a break when you marry or have a child after marriage... it is so normal, and thankfully you are in an era where these are recognized as important milestones in life and a women after a break is welcomed back with open arms by the same organizations. With your kind of credentials I don't think you'll ever have any problem getting back to work after a break.

Wishing that you make peace with yourself and the world around you...work is just one part of life. Take care of yourself and all the very best!!