Love Guru |187 Answers |Ask -Follow
Relationships Expert - Answered on May 13, 2022
Dear Love Guru,
Please keep me anonymous.
I am a 45 years old married male. Ours was an arranged marriage.
My spouse as well as my in-laws have cynical attitude towards life. They are always abusive towards everyone at their back even.
Earlier, I used to take it lightly and also tried to make my wife understand that there are good people also in the world.
I also used to think that she may not be having the same attitude at least towards me but I was wrong. I always did my best whenever she was in trouble or otherwise, be it in her social, professional or medical needs but instead of acknowledging she always found some ulterior motive of mine.
She acts sweet whenever she wants anything or to get things done from me otherwise she becomes abusive. Moreover, since beginning she discusses everything over phone with her mother and acts as per her guidance.
I don't think that anything whatever happens in between us be it good or bad or in our house is not known to her mother. Whenever we have any quarrel she immediately calls her mother and tells her only her side of the things and uses abusive words for me.
I have even requested her that even if she feels like calling her mother to lighten up, she may do it, but at least in privacy so that I should not hear the words she uses.
But, now after 14 years I am getting fed up and don't feel like being with her. I am continuing because of my daughter as separation may affect the child.
We no longer share any emotional or physical intimacy. I am exhausted. Please advise.
Regards,
Anonymous
Sounds like you’re tired of the marriage.
I would suggest attending some marital counselling together before you decide to finalise a split, if only for the sake of your daughter.
I understand that the child’s situation is taking precedence over yours, and that’s good parenting, but how long will you carry on like this? It’s been so many years already.
Your wife speaking to her mother about everything is understandable, but within earshot so that you hear it too is not. She obviously has ulterior motives.
Visit a competent counsellor. I’m sure you’ll be able to make headway in this situation.
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