Dear Love Guru,
Please keep me anonymous.
I am a 45 years old married male. Ours was an arranged marriage.
My spouse as well as my in-laws have cynical attitude towards life. They are always abusive towards everyone at their back even.
Earlier, I used to take it lightly and also tried to make my wife understand that there are good people also in the world.
I also used to think that she may not be having the same attitude at least towards me but I was wrong. I always did my best whenever she was in trouble or otherwise, be it in her social, professional or medical needs but instead of acknowledging she always found some ulterior motive of mine.
She acts sweet whenever she wants anything or to get things done from me otherwise she becomes abusive. Moreover, since beginning she discusses everything over phone with her mother and acts as per her guidance.
I don't think that anything whatever happens in between us be it good or bad or in our house is not known to her mother. Whenever we have any quarrel she immediately calls her mother and tells her only her side of the things and uses abusive words for me.
I have even requested her that even if she feels like calling her mother to lighten up, she may do it, but at least in privacy so that I should not hear the words she uses.
But, now after 14 years I am getting fed up and don't feel like being with her. I am continuing because of my daughter as separation may affect the child.
We no longer share any emotional or physical intimacy. I am exhausted. Please advise. 
Regards,
Anonymous

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Nice circus within the house, yeah?
How did you even agree to get yourself manipulated by your father? He's just played you and you got played...years have gone by and now you wonder where all those years have gone by...
Move out of this entire arrangement otherwise you spend the rest of your life living a life that's not yours and being a person that is not you.
Who you are is what you need to bring up for yourself and that's not to play someone's husband when you are not. And look how it has confused the children...Your father needs a lesson on taking responsibility for his actions. He's just happy with his lust getting its due without having to play the husband to the outside world. All in all, you have got the raw end of all this...
First move out of this situation so that you have the time to get back to being YOU. It will give you enough clarity on what is to be done next and it will teach your father and his wife, that they have to now look after the family that they created without using you as an 'actor'.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
He needs to be told; it's like when we raise kids, we teach them manners, right?
Your husband lost his manners...teach him...tell him how what he does makes you feel...this is basic respect for his marriage and his wife, yeah?
Also, he needs to understand how maids can pass information around...I am sure he cares for his reputation!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Shruti,
I understand that you feel good when you talk to him. It’s very normal. You feel that way because you have been with him for so long, and it’s the familiarity. But since he is now engaged and soon to get married, it would be best if you slowly put some distance between you and him and finally stop talking at all. If you continue interacting, you will never move on. And he will have difficulty moving on as well. It’s neither fair to you, nor him and his new bride. Please try to move on and constantly being in touch is not going to help.


Hope this helps.

Ans: You're handling a complex financial situation, balancing multiple loans while actively investing. The key here is optimizing debt repayment while ensuring asset growth. Here’s a structured approach:
Step 1: Prioritize Loan Repayments
- High-Interest Debt First – Your personal loan (?3L at ?14.5K EMI) and credit card (?70K) likely carry the highest interest rates. Aim to clear these fast.
- Use surplus savings to repay the credit card first.
- Consider a personal loan balance transfer to a lower interest rate provider if feasible.
- Fixed Deposit Loan (?4.5L) – You're paying ?3.5K monthly just in interest, which adds up quickly.
- If you don’t urgently need this liquidity, repaying this loan should be a priority.


Step 2: Optimize Home Loan Repayments
Your home loans (?44.5L & ?12L) have EMIs of ?60K total, but they are long-term and likely at reasonable interest rates.
- Consider making small principal prepayments (?5K-?10K extra per month) on the bigger loan. Even modest prepayments can reduce the interest burden over time.

Step 3: Improve Cash Flow
- House Rent (?7K) – If feasible, consider subletting space or exploring alternative income streams.
- PF & NPS Investments – These are great long-term assets, but if cash flow becomes tight, reducing voluntary PF investment temporarily to ?6K (instead of ?12K) could help.

Step 4: Asset Creation Strategy
- Share Market Investments – Your ?4.5L portfolio with ?10K monthly investment is solid.
- Focus on dividend-paying stocks to generate passive income.
- If markets are volatile, consider SIP in blue-chip funds to reduce risk.
- Real Estate Appreciation – Your home property itself is an asset. Ensure rent or price appreciation aligns with market trends.
- LIC & APY – These provide long-term benefits. Ensure LIC is aligned with your financial goals rather than just traditional savings.

Step 5: Emergency Buffer
Given your existing liabilities, a small emergency fund (?1.5L-?2L) in liquid assets (FD or high-interest savings account) can provide stability.

Ans: ??, plz provide with full context

Ans: contact your broker or you can connect to RTA - KFintech , on this link https://www.kfintech.com/contact-us/

Ans: You have done well in building some savings and SIPs. Let’s now look at your goals and finances closely.

As a Certified Financial Planner, I will now guide you step-by-step. The goal is to show you a clear path.

This plan will help you buy your house, repay your car loan, and build strong financial health.

Understanding Your Present Situation
You are 31 years old. That is a good age to start disciplined planning.

You earn Rs. 99,000 per month. That is a decent monthly income.

You have a family of 3. You are the only earning member.

Your car EMI is Rs. 18,000. You have 6 more years to pay.

You invest Rs. 7,000 monthly in SIP. That is a good beginning.

Your insurance premium is Rs. 2,500 per month. That is acceptable if it is for pure term life cover.

You have Rs. 10 lakhs in gold. That is high exposure for gold.

You have Rs. 5 lakhs in mutual funds. That is a good step.

You want to buy a house worth Rs. 1 crore next year. That is a very big goal in short time.

You also want to close the car loan early. That is a good mindset.

Key Issues That Need Attention
Your EMIs are high compared to your income.

You are saving less monthly. Your total monthly savings is just Rs. 9,500.

You want to make a big purchase (house) very soon. But not enough cash flow is available.

Gold savings are not liquid and returns are not consistent.

You have pressure of responsibilities as the sole earner. Hence, emergency backup is very important.

First Focus: Emergency Fund
You should have at least 6 months of your expenses saved.

For you, Rs. 3.5 to 4 lakhs should be kept aside as emergency fund.

Do not keep this in gold. Keep this in liquid funds or sweep-in fixed deposits.

This amount should not be used for any other goal.

Review Insurance Coverage
Check if your Rs. 2,500 per month insurance is for pure term plan.

If it is not term plan, then it is not serving your goal.

If it is ULIP or endowment or money back, surrender and reinvest in mutual funds.

You need Rs. 50 lakhs to Rs. 75 lakhs term cover. This is minimum for your current life stage.

Buying the House – Think Twice Before You Rush
You are planning to buy a Rs. 1 crore house in 1 year.

Right now, your cash flow does not support this safely.

Even if you take 80% home loan (Rs. 80 lakhs), EMI will be around Rs. 60,000.

Add your current car EMI (Rs. 18,000). Total EMI = Rs. 78,000 per month.

Your income is Rs. 99,000. So, after EMIs, you will be left with Rs. 21,000 only.

You still have to manage family expenses, SIPs, insurance, lifestyle from this.

This is not practical. It will create financial stress and imbalance.

You should delay house purchase by 2–3 years.

First, build higher down payment and reduce EMI burden.

Till then, increase SIP and build a house fund.

You should target to build at least Rs. 20 lakhs in mutual funds before house purchase.

Car Loan – Plan for Early Closure in a Balanced Way
Your car EMI is Rs. 18,000 per month.

Loan has 6 years left. So, this is a long commitment.

Closing this early will improve your cash flow.

But don't use all savings at once to close this.

Instead, create a parallel SIP or RD of Rs. 10,000 monthly for 12–18 months.

After that, use this amount to close part or full car loan.

This will be a smart and stress-free approach.

Do not break mutual fund or gold savings for car loan.

Your Monthly Budget – How to Optimise
Income: Rs. 99,000

Car EMI: Rs. 18,000

Insurance Premium: Rs. 2,500

SIP: Rs. 7,000

Remaining: Rs. 71,500

Family Expenses: Estimate Rs. 50,000 to 55,000

Balance available: Rs. 15,000 to 20,000

You can add Rs. 10,000 more to SIP from this amount.

You can use Rs. 5,000 to Rs. 10,000 for car loan closure fund.

This will bring total SIP to Rs. 17,000.

This is more aligned to your income level.

Ideal SIP Target Based on Income
You should aim to save 30% of your monthly income.

For you, that is around Rs. 30,000 monthly.

Right now, you are at Rs. 7,000 SIP.

After adjustment, increase this to Rs. 17,000 for now.

Over the next 12 months, try to reach Rs. 25,000 monthly SIP.

Use step-up SIP option to increase SIP every year by 10–15%.

This method works well over 5–7 years.

Your goal of house purchase in 2–3 years and financial strength both will benefit.

Gold Savings – Restructure It Properly
You have Rs. 10 lakhs in gold. This is too high.

Ideally, gold should be only 5–10% of your total portfolio.

It is not productive for house purchase or emergencies.

Start switching gold slowly into mutual fund SIPs.

Do not sell all at once. Sell in small amounts over 6–12 months.

This will also help in tax efficiency.

Mutual Fund Portfolio – Keep It Focused
You already have Rs. 5 lakh in mutual funds.

Continue these investments. Monitor growth and performance once in 6 months.

Choose actively managed funds for your SIP.

Avoid index funds. They copy index and lack flexibility in correction periods.

Actively managed funds have better human research and decision making.

Avoid direct plans if not experienced.

Regular plans through Mutual Fund Distributor with CFP credential offer guidance.

This support is helpful when markets are volatile or when rebalancing is needed.

Tax-Saving and Goal Linkage
If you invest more in mutual funds, also use ELSS category.

These will give you 80C benefit and long-term wealth building.

Use short-term funds or liquid funds only for emergency fund and car loan targets.

For house goal (2–3 years away), use hybrid aggressive funds or short duration funds.

Equity mutual funds are suitable only for goals 5 years or more away.

Short term capital gains on equity mutual funds is taxed at 20%.

Long term capital gains above Rs. 1.25 lakhs is taxed at 12.5%.

For debt funds, all gains are taxed as per your tax slab.

Family Protection – Essential Planning
As sole earner, your family depends on you completely.

You must have a valid term life insurance policy.

Add personal accident cover also. Premium is low. Coverage is important.

Add family floater health insurance for Rs. 5 to 10 lakhs.

This keeps savings safe in medical emergencies.

Do not depend only on employer health cover.

Long-Term Wealth Building – Have a 10-Year View
You are still young. You have time to build strong wealth.

Start focusing on Rs. 25,000 to Rs. 30,000 monthly SIP over next 2 years.

Build Rs. 40 to 50 lakh wealth in 10 years through disciplined SIP.

Avoid big purchases like house if they break this flow.

Let your goals be realistic. Let your money work for you.

Mistakes to Avoid
Rushing into home loan without strong cash flow.

Keeping too much in gold and not enough in financial assets.

Not having proper term and health insurance.

Underestimating emergency fund importance.

Following random investment tips without personalised plan.

Finally
You are doing some things right already. Appreciate your efforts so far.

Now you need a sharper and more balanced plan.

Delay house purchase till your cash flow improves.

Close car loan smartly with separate fund.

Increase SIP steadily. Use mutual funds with active management.

Build protection with right insurance and emergency fund.

This 360-degree view will help you become financially stronger and stress-free.

Best Regards,
 
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
 
Chief Financial Planner,
 
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: Go for SRM

Ans: Yes