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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1590 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
SS Question by SS on Nov 16, 2022Hindi
Relationship

Hope you are doing well.
I am kinda mentally disturbed and badly need your suggestion.
I have been in love and married for 13 yrs. I have a son and a daughter. I'm a working woman.
I'm being constantly ill-treated by my mother-in-law. I know such issues exist in every household. But here, it has been a never-ending issue for 13 years now.
She is very insecure, when it comes to household chores, my kids and my husband and feels all these areas should be in her control.
She feels she is to be given utmost attention and only her thoughts and feelings to be respected and are always right.
She insults me, mocks me, and doesn't treat me like a part of the family, though I’m selfless and continue to care for my in-laws and other family members.
She keeps hurting me with her words, gestures and behaviour.

To her, I'm like a constant pester and she doesn't feel satisfied with any chores or work at home or family. I'm a big mess. She often states 'I’m her` target` and will continue to hurt me verbally and with gestures.
My husband doesn't raise questions on his mom's insane behaviour, as she threatens to harm herself.
This is a routine she carries out, whenever she wants to. I have zero support from my husband to change his mom and or understand my feelings. Neither should I voice out my views or feelings. I have to look out for her moods and actions and act accordingly, any time.
I have no self-respect, no dignity here. It doesn't feel like this is my house or my family, except for my kids.
My kids are growing up and I feel I will lose respect amongst them, when she constantly taunts me and insults me for no reason.
I have no parents or siblings to share my feelings. I open up with my close friends for a temporary vent out, otherwise, it really doesn't serve any purpose.
I feel like I have to live eternally with this mental abuse, as I'm unable to put up with her behaviour and harassment. Acting as if I'm fine every day is killing me.
This type of behaviour makes me feel very low and my self-esteem is affected. I feel worthless and my whole life feels like a sheer curse.
Please help me get out of this situation and make my mother-in-law mend her behaviour towards me.
Awaiting your response.

Ans:

Dear SS,

A story in many patriarchal households!

What can you do to change her and your husband’s attitude on this? Nothing at all.

It’s like a stubborn gene that wants to hold on to age-old beliefs where the mother-in-law rules the home and calls the shots, the son blindly supports his mother’s tantrums.

What can you do when your children also are growing up in this environment?

Here’s where you can put your foot down.

Your children have to learn to respect their mother for who she is. So, stop playing the victim in your situation and take charge.

I am sure the children are at an age where their minds are impressionable and can be beautifully shaped to accept different people in the household.

Instead of spending time cursing your situation, spend the same time being with your children, bonding with them.

Talk and spend a lot of time going out, watching TV, cooking, reading, listening to music and more.

What will start to happen is that the children will learn to hold space for you when you are down and out. And do take care that while you are bonding with them, never talk ill about their father or their grandmother.

This activity isn’t to distance one from the other but to give you a new way of thinking in the existing circumstances.

Having said this, if your husband is someday ready to talk to you about this, by all means be assertive.

Till then, it’s not necessary to suffer. Either you can fight and get fingers pointed back at you or you can negotiate a situation wisely to maintain the peace at home. You always have that choice.

Whatever you choose, never sit in silence and do nothing. That’s what your children will learn; to suffer in silence. So, time to make some subtle and meaningful changes?

Best wishes!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 13, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Love Guru, Please keep me anonymous. I am a 45 years old married male. Ours was an arranged marriage. My spouse as well as my in-laws have cynical attitude towards life. They are always abusive towards everyone at their back even. Earlier, I used to take it lightly and also tried to make my wife understand that there are good people also in the world. I also used to think that she may not be having the same attitude at least towards me but I was wrong. I always did my best whenever she was in trouble or otherwise, be it in her social, professional or medical needs but instead of acknowledging she always found some ulterior motive of mine. She acts sweet whenever she wants anything or to get things done from me otherwise she becomes abusive. Moreover, since beginning she discusses everything over phone with her mother and acts as per her guidance. I don't think that anything whatever happens in between us be it good or bad or in our house is not known to her mother. Whenever we have any quarrel she immediately calls her mother and tells her only her side of the things and uses abusive words for me. I have even requested her that even if she feels like calling her mother to lighten up, she may do it, but at least in privacy so that I should not hear the words she uses. But, now after 14 years I am getting fed up and don't feel like being with her. I am continuing because of my daughter as separation may affect the child. We no longer share any emotional or physical intimacy. I am exhausted. Please advise.  Regards, Anonymous
Ans:

Sounds like you’re tired of the marriage.

I would suggest attending some marital counselling together before you decide to finalise a split, if only for the sake of your daughter.

I understand that the child’s situation is taking precedence over yours, and that’s good parenting, but how long will you carry on like this? It’s been so many years already.

Your wife speaking to her mother about everything is understandable, but within earshot so that you hear it too is not. She obviously has ulterior motives.

Visit a competent counsellor. I’m sure you’ll be able to make headway in this situation.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1590 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu...i hv been reading ur expertise to solve the issues of people and am really impressed. We have been married for 19years now and have a son and daughter .From the start of the marriage my wife have been inclined towards her mother and her family paying less or no heed to us. Circumstances were also favorable to her and she always got the opportunity to stay close and visit her parents often which i did not mind.We lived in Mumbai and she is from Chennai.After marriage my mom-in-law used to continuosly interfere into our lives by calling her and she used to act as per her suggestions only which led to problems as she was a puppet in the hands of my Mom-in-law. Moreover since my mom-in-law was not in good health my wife tried not to over rule as she did not want her mom to feel sick as she doesnt like to be over ruled or by pass failing which she goes on hunger strike and stop taking tablets spoiling her own health. Due to this reason everybody has been appeasing her.Initially i thought to ignore but slowly it started to affect my family as well as my wife started to see things thru my mom-in-laws perspective and find faults in everything. We shifted to overseas to stay away from all these and we really had a good life for 10 years there but since i lost job during covid i had to shift base to India for my son's education but she chose to stay back there with my daughter as she is working there.I too felt that let her spend some time so that i could settle things in India and call her but it is more than 2 years now and she refuses to come back and dont even care for us and neither call us as family. I tried to involve my in-laws to convince her but they are also playing a diplomatic game and doesnt want to go against their daughter's wish.Due to this attitude of my mom-in-law their own daughter-in-laws have been staying away and since my in-laws stay alone my wife feels that she is the only support system for her parents but it has come on my life's sacrifice. She has been ignoring us and even i kept moving for the sake of my family and children instead of respecting my feelings she has become more adamant now.Her brother is also seperated from her wife and he also looks forward for a support system from my daughter and my wife and they seem close ignoring myself and my son.We have been trying to convince her thru all means but she is caring. Even i feel that it is futile to force someone into relationship but she unknowingly spoiling my family and deprieve my son the mother;s love and also depreive my daughter from affection and love.Due to this my son has also stopped expecting from her and my daughter treats me as a stranger due to long distance. Pls suggest the way forward. Shud i wait for things to improve or leave as it is.I am 47 now and she is 45..told her that let us enjoy the best things in life rather than regretting later but she does not understand.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Logic does not appeal to your wife!
What can you do with someone who is adamant about ruining her own family life? It's purely clouded judgement on her part on what to do and not!
With more people dependent on your wife for support, she has found a way of moving even more away from you...what I do not understand is: how is she able to do that to your son?

Either the two of you talk this out and take firm decisions OR accept that this is how it's going to be...sooner or later, she will realize what is happening and will become more aware of her priorities. But, being where you are is painful and it will stress you even more...So, find a way to talk things out is a step that you can take NOW!

Impress upon her as to how important it is keep the family together as a unit for the children to grow in a healthy manner and also how much this time investment will help the two of you as a couple.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1590 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am a working independant women staying with in laws. My mother in law is a narcissist. She used to boast about herself, her son, relatives anytime. I was fed up hearing all these...she wants to keep everything and everyone under her control. I used to tell my husband regarding his mom's behaviour.. He knew about his mom's behaviour from before. He supported me and told me to confront mom and tell her directly that i dont like her behaviour.. But i was afraid.. Because she will never acknowledge her mistake.. My husband and his mom had frequent fight regarding other reasons( like way she talks, controlling behavior) but she never changed her behavior.. One day my husband told her everything what i told him about her.. The way she has been treating me... She got super angry...said many bad words to me..We left the house and rented a apartment.. Still now she is angry.. Blaming me for everything.. For taking her son away.. Now what to do??
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Will you accept it gracefully if someone comes to you and on your face says that he/she does not like your behavior?
The way to settle differences in relationships is not confrontation but with a lot of strategic patience and grace; both of which were not displayed while dealing with your mother-in-law. Okay, maybe she is a difficult person to be with, but how has it helped now by your husband playing your spokesperson? It has only made matters worse for you.
What is done cannot be undone...
Wait for her anger to settle down and then approach the matter with butter fingers. Ultimately, she's your husband's mother and hence will always be a part of your life...
Remember to work around constraints and not with them...when you skirt around, you will find many alternate ways of solving a problem and when you confront, you hit egos and then will act irrationally. Wait and when the time is right, be assertive in how you want the relationship to be. Kindly do not use your husband to sort your troubles; it will go downhill yet again...It's your relationship with your mother-in-law, work on it yourself...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1590 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I have been married for 7 months. I stayed with my husband for 4 months. I have a decent relationship with him. But my mother in law doesn't like me at all. She finds faults and mistakes in everything that I do. I don't get any support from my husband when my mother in law criticises me or uses harsh words. She insults my parents. My husband tries to justify her behaviour when I try to discuss these issues with him. He misunderstands me and doesn't want to listen to me whenever his mother creates issues. He doesn't listen to anyone and he doesn't care about anyone apart from his mother when his mother creates problems. I work for 10 hours at office and take care of him and the household chores. He forgets all my positive sides and highlights my mistakes rudely whenever his mother comes into the picture. I don't find any solution to this. My last solution is filing for a divorce. I want to try to give my best for this relationship. But that is somehow taking a toll on my mental and physical health.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have good respite from all of this while you are at office, right? And then there's the commute to work? Then there's sleep?
So, I guess your interactions with her maybe 2 hours?
For her, she's given up her son; many mothers find it hard cutting the cord from their children and in this case, your husband also has not learned to develop a personality off of her and hence putting him in between the two of you is only going to cause you more stress and invariably he will side with her; he's still getting used to another woman in his life, YOU...Don't test his love for you and compare it with his mother. It will drive him away from you.

Give this all sometime BUT DO NOT get him caught in the middle of all this. Teaching your mother-in-law to behave in a certain way maybe a huge task BUT for you to work around it without letting it bother you is what you must focus on. Possible? YES...Smart relationships are ones like these where you don't go around expecting change in the other person BUT you figure how you can work around and find your peace.
So, since you are going to be around her only for a few hours, start by simply agreeing to what she says. Initially it will be hard, but it will throw her off guard as when she sees that you are not provoked, there will come a time, when she will back off.
Her fault finding is only to prove that she is better than you and that you can't replace her in her son's life. Give her that pleasure by simply nodding your head knowing that it's not your fault. You will see a change in a few days.

The best way to bring people's guard down is to agree to what they say BUT do what you need to. It's just been a couple of months, give it sometime...things settle...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

Money
I am retiring from my Job. I have only 50 lakhs corpus to run my family.Can you please advise where to invest 50 lakh money to get 50000/m monthly income.
Ans: You’ve taken the right first step. With Rs 50 lakhs and a goal of Rs 50,000 monthly income, it is critical to design a well-planned investment strategy.

Understanding the Income Need
You want Rs 50,000 per month, which means Rs 6 lakhs per year.

This works out to about 12% per year of your Rs 50 lakh corpus.

Expecting a 12% withdrawal yearly is risky. The corpus can get exhausted early.

A sustainable withdrawal rate is around 6-8% per year only.

This means Rs 25,000 to Rs 33,000 per month is safer long-term.

So first we need to decide: do we want high income now or stable income for life?

Retirement Stage Planning
At retirement, preservation of money is top priority.

Income generation comes second. Growth comes third.

But inflation will reduce purchasing power. So growth cannot be ignored.

Your portfolio must balance growth, safety and liquidity.

So we use a “bucket strategy”. Let us see what that means.

Bucket-Based Investment Planning
Bucket 1: 2 Years of Expenses
This is for monthly income now. Very low risk.

Keep Rs 12 lakhs in this bucket (Rs 6 lakhs per year × 2 years).

Put it in ultra-short debt funds or senior citizen savings scheme.

This will give you predictable cash flow.

You can set up monthly SWP (systematic withdrawal plan) from this.

Bucket 2: Next 3 to 5 Years
This is for income after 2 years.

Slightly higher return potential. Still low to moderate risk.

Invest Rs 15-20 lakhs in hybrid funds or conservative balanced funds.

These funds have 20-30% equity and rest in bonds.

They aim to beat FD returns, without too much fluctuation.

Bucket 3: Long-Term Growth
Remaining Rs 18-23 lakhs can be invested in pure equity mutual funds.

Choose large and flexi cap funds with regular plans via Certified Financial Planner.

This helps protect your lifestyle 10-15 years from now.

This part grows slowly now, but helps fight inflation later.

How SWP Can Help
SWP means you get monthly income from mutual funds.

You can set a fixed monthly amount like Rs 50,000.

Only the withdrawn amount is taxed, not entire profit.

For equity funds: STCG is taxed at 20%, LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

For debt funds: All gains are taxed as per your tax slab.

So plan your SWP smartly, and avoid early redemption from long-term buckets.

Avoid These Mistakes
Don’t invest everything in FD or debt. It won’t beat inflation.

Don’t rely on dividend plans. They are not predictable.

Don’t go for annuities. They lock your capital and give low returns.

Don’t go for direct plans unless you are a full-time expert.

Always go via regular plans with a CFP for advice and monitoring.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds copy the market. No active research is done.

In falling markets, they also fall badly.

They can’t protect you during market shocks.

Actively managed funds give you better risk-adjusted returns over time.

Certified Financial Planners monitor fund quality and help you exit poor performers.

Direct vs Regular Plans
Direct plans have lower cost but no guidance.

You end up making emotional decisions.

Regular plans come with expert advice from Certified Financial Planner.

CFPs give behavioural control, tax planning and fund monitoring.

For retirement, discipline and peace of mind matter more than saving 0.5%.

Inflation and Longevity Risk
Today Rs 50,000 is enough. In 10 years, you may need Rs 90,000.

Life expectancy can go up to 85-90 years.

So your corpus must keep growing even during retirement.

That is why some part must always remain in equity.

Your goal should be to never touch the principal fully.

Rebalancing Every 2 Years
Every 2 years, shift money from Bucket 2 and 3 into Bucket 1.

This way, you refill the income bucket.

Review fund performance, tax laws and personal needs with your CFP.

Don’t withdraw from equity bucket in a bad market year.

Keep 1 year of expenses always safe and liquid.

Emotional Peace is Priority
Retired life should be relaxed. You should not worry every month.

That is why a structured plan works better than ad-hoc FD or real estate.

You get monthly income, principal protection and long-term growth.

Your wife also feels secure with a system in place.

You can focus on health, hobbies and family—not markets.

Do You Hold LIC, ULIP or Insurance-Based Investments?
If yes, surrender them now. These do not give good returns.

Redeem them and reinvest into mutual funds.

Keep term insurance if needed, but no savings-insurance mix.

Review all old products with a Certified Financial Planner.

Final Insights
Rs 50,000 income is possible, but you must plan carefully.

Aim for 6-8% withdrawal rate for long-lasting corpus.

Use 3 buckets for income now, income later, and growth forever.

Avoid annuities, index funds, and direct plans.

Take help from a Certified Financial Planner who understands your retirement dreams.

Review every 2 years and adjust based on expenses and market.

Retirement is not an end. It is a new phase that deserves full financial attention.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

Money
Hi sir. I am 65 yrs old with wife, Sir just to get approx 1 lakh per month for my further life for surviving how much money i required to invest in mutual fund etc . Having own house no rent. Pls advise. Regards
Ans: It is thoughtful to plan for peaceful retirement life.

You have already built a strong foundation. You own a house and have no rent burden. That’s a major relief. Now, your goal is simple and clear—receive about Rs 1 lakh per month to cover expenses for yourself and your wife.

Let me now explain your options and investment plan in a detailed and practical way.

Understanding Your Income Need
Your monthly income requirement is Rs 1 lakh

That is Rs 12 lakhs yearly, for living and medical care

You also want to ensure the money lasts lifelong for you and your wife

This means your investment must give steady monthly income and beat inflation slowly

You will also need some growth, not just fixed income, to maintain purchasing power

Estimating the Ideal Corpus
You are 65 years old. Your financial plan must cover 25 years or more

This is because medical support and expenses increase from 70 years onward

With inflation considered, your Rs 1 lakh monthly need will rise in the future

So, the investment corpus should be large enough to:

Give you Rs 1 lakh per month now

Increase income over time, through partial growth-based funds

Stay safe and not run out before your lifetime

Based on current conditions and long-term returns of mutual funds, you may need Rs 2.1 crores to Rs 2.4 crores approx.

This amount will be divided into different types of funds for safety, income, and growth

If you already have some existing investments, that will reduce the gap

How to Structure the Investment
To ensure income and safety, you need a three-part approach.

Each part has a clear role. This is known as a bucket approach.

Bucket 1: Income Now – High Stability

This bucket gives monthly cash flow from safe and stable sources

Use debt mutual funds (regular plan), which suit retired investors

Only select high-quality, low-risk funds. Do not chase returns here

Choose regular plan and invest through a Certified Financial Planner for tracking and rebalancing

This bucket will cover 3 to 5 years of income, approx. Rs 40 to 60 lakhs

Withdraw monthly from here

Refill this bucket every few years using growth from other buckets

Bucket 2: Income Later – Conservative Growth

This gives returns better than FDs, with moderate risk

Invest in hybrid mutual funds, which balance equity and debt

Prefer regular funds with a Certified Financial Planner for guidance

SIPs are not needed here. Use lump sum with gradual SWP later

This portion may be Rs 60 to 80 lakhs, depending on your comfort

It helps maintain the next 6 to 10 years of income

Bucket 3: Long-Term – Growth and Inflation Protection

Invest in carefully selected diversified equity mutual funds

Choose active funds with experienced fund managers

Do not use direct funds. Use regular plan via a CFP for right entry, exit and strategy

This bucket keeps growing silently and will beat inflation

Withdraw only after 7 to 10 years, in parts, to refill Bucket 1

Allocate Rs 70 lakhs to Rs 90 lakhs here

This part ensures your funds don’t run out at 80 or 85 years

This three-bucket structure keeps your income stable. It also grows your money silently. You don’t have to sell equity in a bad year.

Why Mutual Funds and Not Fixed Deposits?
FDs give low returns. They do not beat inflation

FDs are fully taxable as per slab, unlike mutual funds

FDs do not allow gradual withdrawal (SWP)

In FDs, once you exhaust the amount, there's no backup

Debt mutual funds in regular plan allow you to withdraw monthly, and rebalance annually

Long-term capital gains tax on equity mutual funds is only 12.5% after Rs 1.25 lakh gain, which is efficient

Tax is only paid when gains are withdrawn

Debt mutual fund gains are taxed as per your slab, but only on redemption

All this makes mutual funds more flexible and tax-smart than FDs

Why Not Index Funds or Direct Funds?
Index funds are passive. They don’t adapt to market risk or sector weakness

In retirement, you need funds that protect capital, not just follow markets

Index funds cannot avoid bad sectors or weak companies

Active mutual funds managed by experienced fund managers give more stability in volatile years

Direct funds have lower expense ratio, but no advisor or help when markets fall

At your age, you need review, support, and guidance, not DIY investing

A Certified Financial Planner will help you adjust your SWP, rebalance funds, and guide redemptions

So, prefer regular plans via a CFP who understands retirement planning

Do not take risk with direct funds or online platforms without guidance

How Much to Withdraw?
Use Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) instead of withdrawing full amounts

Withdraw Rs 1 lakh monthly from debt bucket for 3 to 4 years

After that, shift matured growth from hybrid and equity funds to refill Bucket 1

This way, you are not touching equity money during market lows

Your capital remains safe, and money flows monthly like a pension

Withdraw only what you need, not extra

What If You Live Longer?
This is the most important concern in retirement planning

Your corpus must last at least 25 to 30 years

That’s why we kept a large equity portion to grow with time

Medical inflation, caregiving, and lifestyle will change in 15 to 20 years

You must prepare now, not later

This structure ensures you never run out of money, and your capital can outlive you

What About Health Emergencies?
Keep a separate emergency fund of Rs 5 to 7 lakhs for medical support

Do not mix it with mutual fund buckets

Prefer senior citizen health plans, even if costly. Premium is worth it

If you already have a plan, great. But renew carefully each year

Medical inflation is nearly 10% per year now

Avoid depending on children or borrowing for health care

Tax-Efficient Withdrawals
Equity mutual fund gains beyond Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at only 12.5%

If you withdraw in small parts, tax is reduced

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per slab, but only when you redeem

Use SWP to keep yearly gains below threshold

Regular plan through CFP ensures you plan withdrawals and avoid heavy tax in one year

Do not redeem all at once. That will trigger higher tax

Review and Rebalance Every Year
Sit with your Certified Financial Planner once a year

Review performance of each bucket

Shift from growth to income bucket as needed

Reduce exposure to equity slowly after 75 years, if required

You can also leave extra funds as inheritance for spouse or children

This review ensures discipline, control, and peace of mind

Final Insights
To get Rs 1 lakh monthly, you may need Rs 2.1 to Rs 2.4 crore corpus

Divide this wisely into three buckets for income, safety, and growth

Avoid FDs, index funds, and direct funds. They may hurt your long-term financial safety

Regular mutual funds via a Certified Financial Planner give support, safety, and flexibility

Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans to create a pension-like flow

Keep an emergency fund for medical expenses separately

Review portfolio yearly and adjust slowly. Don’t panic in market changes

Your wife’s future must be protected even after you. This structure ensures that too

You have lived wisely. Now, invest wisely to live peacefully

If you share the exact amount available for investing, I can show the exact plan in numbers. You may also explore a written financial plan with a Certified Financial Planner for even more clarity.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

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Money
Hi , Need help , my brother in law has decesed and left shares in USA which is he got as part of his compensation and benefits , the broking firm says that they dont have beneficiary process , hw do get that transffered to my sister who is legal hire
Ans: I’m very sorry to hear about your brother-in-law’s passing. In such times, handling legal and financial formalities can feel overwhelming. But don’t worry—we’ll walk through this step by step in a clear and practical way.

Let’s now see how to help your sister claim those US shares in a structured and smooth process.

Step 1: Understand the Account Type
First, confirm if the shares were held in a brokerage account (like E*TRADE, Schwab, Fidelity, etc.)

If it's an individual account, and there is no named beneficiary, then it becomes part of the estate

If it’s a joint account or transfer-on-death (TOD) account, transfer may be easier. But as you said, no beneficiary process, so likely an individual account

Step 2: Contact the Brokerage Firm
Your sister (as legal heir) must inform the broker of the death, in writing

Include death certificate copy and ask them for their formal estate transmission process

Every broker has a survivor claim or estate settlement team—you must reach them

Even if they don't have a "beneficiary form", they will have a probate transfer process

Step 3: Probate and Court Documents
Since there is no beneficiary, the assets will be distributed based on:

Will, if your brother-in-law made one, or

US State intestacy laws, if there was no Will

So:

Your sister needs to check which US state the brokerage account was in (where it was opened or where he worked/lived)

She needs to apply for probate in that US state or seek a court order to declare her as legal representative of the estate

This will likely need:

Death certificate (with apostille, if required)

Proof of relation (marriage certificate, if she is wife, or legal heirship certificate)

No objection from other legal heirs (if needed)

A US-based probate attorney can help if it's complex

Step 4: Prepare Essential Documents
Usually, the brokerage will ask for:

Original or notarized copy of the Death Certificate

Court-certified documents showing your sister as the executor or legal heir

Letter of Testamentary or Letter of Administration from US court

ID proof and address proof of the claimant

W-8BEN form, if she is not a US citizen/resident (this is for non-resident tax purposes)

Step 5: Tax Withholding and Reporting
US stocks may have capital gains or dividends subject to US tax rules

If the shares are transferred or sold later, the IRS may withhold tax for non-resident heirs

Your sister should consult a tax advisor in India for Indian tax obligations on these shares (especially if sold and proceeds brought to India)

Step 6: Receiving the Shares or Funds
Once the brokerage accepts all documents, she has two options:

Transfer shares to her own brokerage account (in USA or India, depending on broker’s policy)

Or, sell the shares and get proceeds wired to her bank account in India (this may take 4–6 weeks)

She must keep:

Copies of all forms submitted

Tax statements and brokerage letters

Confirmation of transfer/sale, for her own IT return in India

Final Insights
The process may take 2 to 4 months, depending on state laws and document completeness

Please avoid any panic sales or agents who promise shortcuts

Stick to the official channel of the brokerage firm and US court for a smooth, legal transmission

A probate attorney in the US may be required if the estate is large or complex

A Certified Financial Planner in India can help with reinvesting those proceeds wisely after they are received

Helping your sister through this legal maze is a powerful support. She needs clarity and calm guidance, and you’re doing the right thing by seeking this advice.

If you need help connecting with US-based estate attorneys or structuring her future investment in India post-transfer, I’ll be happy to help.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

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Dear Sir / Madam, I purchased a flat for Rs 29.3L on Sept 2013. The registration cost was Rs 1,46,500/-. I sold the flat for Rs 89L on Feb 2025. The brokerage fees was Rs 1.5L. How much would be the capital gains amount that I need to invest in Capital gains bonds ? Which tax regime would result in lesser tax, the earlier tax regime or the revised tax regime of last year Thanks Jay
Ans: You’ve clearly explained the purchase cost, sale value, and related expenses. That helps a lot in giving an accurate and comprehensive answer.

Let us now assess your capital gains liability, step by step, and guide you on how much to invest in capital gains bonds, along with which tax regime may benefit you more.

Understanding Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG)
Since you purchased the flat in September 2013 and sold it in February 2025, the holding period is more than 24 months.

So this is classified as a long-term capital asset.

Therefore, the profit from this sale is considered as Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG) and taxed accordingly.

Indexed Cost of Acquisition
To calculate LTCG, we must use the Indexed Cost of Acquisition, as per the Cost Inflation Index (CII).

Let’s now list down the known values:

Purchase Price = Rs 29.3 lakhs

Registration Charges = Rs 1.465 lakhs

Total Purchase Cost = Rs 30.765 lakhs

Year of Purchase = FY 2013-14 → CII = 220

Year of Sale = FY 2024-25 → CII = 363

Now apply indexation:

Indexed Purchase Cost = (Original Cost × CII in year of sale) ÷ CII in year of purchase

So:

Indexed Cost = (30.765 × 363) ÷ 220 = approx Rs 50.79 lakhs

Net Sale Proceeds
Sale Price = Rs 89 lakhs

Brokerage paid = Rs 1.5 lakhs

Net Sale Consideration = Rs 87.5 lakhs

Long-Term Capital Gain
Now compute the LTCG:

LTCG = Net Sale Value – Indexed Purchase Cost

= Rs 87.5 lakhs – Rs 50.79 lakhs = Rs 36.71 lakhs (approx)

This is your taxable long-term capital gain.

Exemption via Capital Gains Bonds (Section 54EC)
You can invest in capital gains bonds under Section 54EC to save tax.

Eligible bonds are from REC, NHAI, etc.

Maximum investment allowed = Rs 50 lakhs per financial year

Minimum lock-in period = 5 years

Interest = around 5.25% p.a. (taxable)

In your case:

LTCG is approx Rs 36.71 lakhs

So, invest Rs 36.71 lakhs in Section 54EC bonds before 6 months from date of sale (i.e., by August 2025)

This will give you 100% LTCG exemption

Earlier vs Revised Tax Regime
Here is how to think about it:

Earlier Regime:
Allows deductions like Section 80C, 80D, HRA, LTA, and home loan interest.

LTCG tax on property is 20% after indexation. This applies in both regimes.

However, if you have many deductions, earlier regime may reduce total tax.

New Regime (as per Budget 2023-24 onwards):
Lower slab rates but no major deductions allowed

LTCG tax on property remains the same – no extra benefit here

So the decision depends on your other income and deductions

In most cases:

If you claim 80C, 80D, housing loan, etc., then earlier regime is better

If your income is purely salary, and you don’t claim deductions, then new regime may help

But in your case, LTCG tax remains same in both

Additional Tips
Capital Gains Bonds must be held for 5 years. Premature exit is not allowed.

Interest is taxable every year. So factor that into your ITR.

Keep bank receipts, bond certificates, and sale documents safely for 6+ years.

File Schedule CG in ITR-2 next year (AY 2025–26)

What If You Don’t Want to Invest in Bonds?
You can also save LTCG tax by buying a new residential property under Section 54

Property must be bought within 2 years (or constructed within 3 years)

If planning to reinvest in property, do it within deadline

If not, 54EC bonds are simpler, more flexible

Final Insights
Your capital gain is around Rs 36.71 lakhs

Invest that amount in 54EC bonds before August 2025

You can save 100% capital gains tax legally

Choose earlier tax regime if you have deductions like 80C, housing loan, etc.

Keep proofs for cost, sale, brokerage, and 54EC investment for future tax queries

Plan carefully. This one-time decision affects your long-term finances

If you want help calculating future taxes or planning retirement income from property sales, always consult a Certified Financial Planner. It’s not just about tax-saving—it’s about protecting your wealth over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 13, 2025Hindi
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Eps. Calculate. Pension. Up to. 58. Yr. but. I. Contribute. Upstox. 60. Yers. Deferred. What. Should. I. Do
Ans: You are asking about EPS (Employee Pension Scheme) and contributing till age 60, while pension is allowed only up to age 58.

This is a very common confusion.

Pension Under EPS Is Payable From 58 Years
EPS gives monthly pension after 58 years.

You must have completed at least 10 years of service.

From 58 years, you can start monthly pension under EPS.

This is not automatic. You have to apply through your employer or EPFO.

What Happens If You Work Till Age 60?
EPS allows voluntary contribution up to age 60.

This is called deferred pension.

If you delay pension from age 58 to 60, you get a bonus.

Bonus is 4% extra pension for each deferred year.

So, 8% more pension if you start at 60 instead of 58.

What You Should Do
If you plan to work till 60, you can continue EPS till then.

You will contribute 12% EPF as usual. Employer’s share will go to EPF + EPS.

When you retire at 60, apply for Form 10D to start pension.

You will get 8% higher pension than normal.

If You Don’t Want to Wait Till 60
You can still start pension at 58.

Just inform EPFO that you want to begin EPS from 58.

No bonus in that case. But you get pension earlier.

Important Reminders
EPS amount is fixed, based on salary and service years.

EPS is not linked to EPF balance or mutual fund returns.

Maximum EPS pension is usually around Rs 7,500/month, unless you opted for higher pension.

You cannot withdraw EPS corpus — only monthly pension allowed.

What Is “Higher Pension”?
EPFO recently gave an option to opt for higher pension.

That means, full employer contribution (8.33%) goes to EPS, not capped at Rs 15,000 salary.

You must apply before the deadline.

It gives more pension, but reduces EPF balance.

If you haven’t applied for higher pension, your EPS will be based on Rs 15,000 salary cap.

Final Insights
EPS pension starts from 58 years, not automatically. You must apply.

You can defer to 60 for 8% extra pension.

Contribution can continue till 60 if you keep working.

Higher pension option may be useful if your salary was above Rs 15,000 for long.

Talk to your employer’s HR or visit EPFO portal to check your service record and eligibility.

Your next step should be to decide whether you want to defer EPS or not.

Then, plan how to combine EPF, EPS, and other investments for retirement income.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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