Anu Krishna |1745 Answers |Ask -Follow
Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2022

Dear SS,
A story in many patriarchal households!
What can you do to change her and your husband’s attitude on this? Nothing at all.
It’s like a stubborn gene that wants to hold on to age-old beliefs where the mother-in-law rules the home and calls the shots, the son blindly supports his mother’s tantrums.
What can you do when your children also are growing up in this environment?
Here’s where you can put your foot down.
Your children have to learn to respect their mother for who she is. So, stop playing the victim in your situation and take charge.
I am sure the children are at an age where their minds are impressionable and can be beautifully shaped to accept different people in the household.
Instead of spending time cursing your situation, spend the same time being with your children, bonding with them.
Talk and spend a lot of time going out, watching TV, cooking, reading, listening to music and more.
What will start to happen is that the children will learn to hold space for you when you are down and out. And do take care that while you are bonding with them, never talk ill about their father or their grandmother.
This activity isn’t to distance one from the other but to give you a new way of thinking in the existing circumstances.
Having said this, if your husband is someday ready to talk to you about this, by all means be assertive.
Till then, it’s not necessary to suffer. Either you can fight and get fingers pointed back at you or you can negotiate a situation wisely to maintain the peace at home. You always have that choice.
Whatever you choose, never sit in silence and do nothing. That’s what your children will learn; to suffer in silence. So, time to make some subtle and meaningful changes?
Best wishes!
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