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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 21, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Pankaj Question by Pankaj on Mar 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Am a widower of 55 male with daughter not leaving with me, and how and when i Fall in True Love (No Physical Relations) with a Girl who is 30+ years younger than me and want to convince her My Love but she calls me Uncle then is there any wrong impact with the relationship. I don't live without her i seen affection in her eyes for me. I dream for her only only she is my LOVE. she is working but no financial stability she comes from a lower middle class family but her family doesn't want her but she is Staying with her family on favouringly please reply.

Ans: Dear Pankaj,
Sorry to burst your bubble; but she is perhaps looking for a father figure in you and you have mistaken that love for romance.
Seek companionship in people who have similar interests such as you and are also in a similar phase of life as you.
Why complicate things by involving yourself with a young girl who will grow up and might find men her age attractive...do you really want to put yourself through all of that?
Be the Uncle that she identifies you as and start building relationships outside of this one. You will thank yourself for this...

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 23, 2022

Relationship
Hi Anu,Myself Praveen. I appreciate your writings on Rediff. First of all thanks for that.I would like to ask guidance or your thoughts on establishing a relationship with my lady friend. I met her 4 years back in my old office and we got in company soon and started talking and somewhat share most of the personal s***s too. I started having feelings for her. I mean I wish to have a marital relationship with her because I am very comfortable with her. But I was unable to make any move or feared of losing her company if I tell her my love.That time I never knew her age. Later I moved from that job to pursue some personal goals so I moved to some other place without the knowledge of my own family. The only person who knew about it was her. She stood with me and emotionally supported me and was knowing that it was my strong wish of having that dream/goal. We were in touch as nice friends. Her phone calls were happy moments for me because I was alone at my new place where I'd gone to pursue my dream. Someday she called me and during call she was upset. That day she shared some of her personal things and during the conversation I realised that she is 8 years older than me and she is at her mid 30s. Firstly, it was like a shock for me. I wondered why a beautiful girl like she not got into a marriage or any other serious relationship still that age. Okay, that doesn't matter me. However, knowing about most of the complexity in this partnership including support from both family or cliche society thoughts; I decided to have her as my life partner. But still I am not able to make a move like that. Somehow, I had to come back to my homeplace and sorry to say that I failed to pursue my goal which was bit depressing. Still I couldn't make a move to talk her about this. I am getting an odd feeling that she treats me as a brother or a nice friend only. I am confused when she calls me bro. Some days ago she told me that I am her good brother. Frankly I don't like her calling me bro. I still love her and I always see her as my life partner.The thing is I fear that I may lose her company if I express my love for her. Also I fear that she may emotionally get low if she really considering me as her brother. I don't want to give her any pain, but meanwhile I couldn't miss her in my life. Nowadays, we rarely talk on phone or meet because some of her professional engagements. That is not a problem for me. I respect her as well as her personal space. Only thing I want is to communicate her about my mind and having a relationship with her. I know she might also be concerned about our age gap as well as what society may say, but I don't care such rubbish. I strongly believe that I can be a great partner. Share your thoughts on making an approach without giving her any emotional pain or trauma.
Ans:

Dear PB,

Thank you for your kind words on my writings and columns. Highly appreciate it.

I cannot assure you of the fact of her not having any emotional reactions. Her reactions are not something that you can control.

The easiest way to resolve this confusion that you are going through is to simply express it. It’s similar to how children are.

Have you seen them say things without a filter and unfazed by how the other person will react?

Then along came the adults and asked them to keep quiet and then the child in us grew up to become a recluse and ignore our own feelings.

I agree there is an etiquette and social norms to be followed as adults but to not be able to express our feelings is nothing but conditioning from our childhood.

And what did it teach us? It taught us to avoid the rejection and ensuing disappointment.

That’s exactly what you are running away from; all the rejection that may happen and the disappointment from that.

But what use is that love if you can’t express it for fear of rejection. If you feel so strongly about it, approach it boldly and very gently.

Yes, it may shock her and it’s possible she has no feelings or sees you as a brother, but at least you know where the connection stands.

Now whether she is going to be hurt or not is a question of how emotionally mature she is.

So, before you start the conversation, do request her to hear you fully and not judge you for your honesty. This may ease her shock and help her respond rather than react to you.

On your part, keep your expectations to a low and smile through the situation. It helps lighten the load that you might be carrying.

All the best!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 11, 2023

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Relationship
Hello, I am 45 yrs old, divorced , in love with 29 yrs old girl. We deeply are in love with each other, however Girl’s Parents are not agreeing to our marriage, citing age gap. It’s been 2.5 yrs, have met her Parents many times at their home. Her Parents consider me as a nice guy , but the age gap factor is not letting them to approve our relationship. Am seriously stressed and want to wary that girl only. Request you to kindly suggest 🙏
Ans: It can be challenging when families do not approve of a relationship due to age differences or other factors. However, it's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to enter into a relationship and get married is a personal one that should be based on the feelings and desires of the two people involved.

It's important to continue to communicate openly and honestly with your girlfriend and her parents about your feelings and intentions. Try to listen to their concerns and address them in a respectful and thoughtful way. It may also be helpful to enlist the support of a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator, who can help facilitate a productive conversation between you and your girlfriend's parents.

However, it's also important to recognize that ultimately, you cannot control the decisions of others. If your girlfriend's parents continue to disapprove of the relationship, it may be necessary to consider whether the relationship is sustainable in the long term. It's important to consider not only your feelings for each other, but also the practical realities of your situation and whether you can build a fulfilling and happy life together despite any external challenges.

Ultimately, it's up to you and your girlfriend to decide what is best for your relationship and your future. It may be helpful to continue to work on building a strong foundation of trust, communication, and mutual support, regardless of the outcome with her parents.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |608 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Am 54+ and I am in Love with a Women who is 31 years Younger Than me but, we haven't expressed yet that we love each of us she calls me as Kaka i had helped her during her bad times in 2021 after she had got Covid-19 and her parents don't wanted her to be with her as she approached me and told me to keep her with me for the time being till the situation gets normal after discussion how can I as am married single and alone and my daughter living with my in-laws to accomplish her studies in the mean time the girl have'nt disclosed the age but now when I asked about her age then only she told the age. Now what to do I really love her but am afraid (because of unknown of her age she was Looked like Minor in her behavioral nature) of how to convince that I Love her since last 2 years. We get together in City only for Cafeterias Long Drives and also Am taking the class how to Ride Bike (Scooty). Am her Pillon on Back to control I feel As if am with my Wife as she ( of her Pure and Innocent Soul) is no more since she met with an Fatal Car Accident in 2013. What ot do I don't want to Loose her and also Can't Leave without Her. I Also Insisted her to introduce to Her Parents but she says no. And want to clear that we are not in Physical Relationship only pure Soulful relationship. Pl. Reply GURU
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

From your question, I am assuming that she isn't showing the same interest in you. That makes my advice very simple- please leave her alone. You might feel a hundred things about her, but she might not feel the same way. You have every right to love and be loved, but not with this person whom you think might be too young for you. And even if she reciprocates it someday, I would like for you to understand that she doesn't have the emotional maturity of a full-grown adult. Find someone your age, with your maturity level. Let her be; she has her entire life ahead of her and your feelings will do her no good.

There are plenty of women looking for a genuine relationship. It will certainly be best for both of you if you consider dating those women who can give you the right kind of company and emotional support.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam, I am 40 yrs old. I was divorced 10 yrs ago and since then I never married again. I have been changing my jobs very often and my mind is not Steady. I am not happy at my job and I feel it's my mindset as I frequently get angry, hyper and make rash decisions. I have zero savings and don't own any assets. But all my friends, relatives and colleagues are well settled and enjoying their life at this age.. this is depressing me and I don't know how to over come this ? In the past 3 years I have fallen in love with one of my far relative and both us love each other very truly. She understands me like no other and knows everything and aspect of my life. She is 15 yrs younger to me but she doesn't care about it and wishes to marry me. I feel actually lucky to be loved by her that much. The main problem is that we recently got to know that she becomes my daughter ( cousin brother's daughter ) if we see the family tree side relationship. Though she is not blood brother's daughter but she is some one in the relative side. Both of us discussed about this but both of us love each other so truly that we don't wish to let go each other and marry. Please suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you writing to me to know how to handle the anger issues or whether you must marry this person you have mentioned about?
Anger and impulsiveness stems from the way you have conditioned yourself to handle situations. There is enough and more content on prominent websites that guide you through this whereby you teach yourself to calm down and act in a well-thought out manner.
On the topic of this lady who happens to be a distant relative, you do need to understand the impact this will have medically on children should you decide to have children later...if you have discussed all this in detail and you two know that the marriage can help you grow and evolve, well...you know what to do.

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Adarsh

Adarsh Rai  |12 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Leadership coach - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 11, 2025Hindi
Career
Hi. I am currently 29. Married with no kids. Wife not earning. Planning for a kid this year. Monthly earning 60k post tax. Have savings of 2 lakhs. Have personal loan of 9 lakhs. Monthly expenses 40k including emi's. I have lost interest in job and I don't want to work anymore. I want to do business which can give monthly 50 to 60k income. Max I can invest 2lakhs. Is there any business which I can start with 2 lakhs and generate monthly income of 60k ? I am frustrated with working under an employer. I want to start my own venture. Please suggest.
Ans: Spandan, pause before you mail the resignation.

Your maths
60 k take-home
40 k spends (15 k of that is EMI on a 9 L loan)
→ 20 k buffer

A newborn will nudge monthly costs up by 8-10 k. Cash cushion shrinks fast.

So the plan must earn while you learn, not leap blind.

Keep the paycheck six more months.
Use evenings to test micro-ideas. Risk stays capped at ?0 for now.

Choose a “cash-this-month” niche, not a moon-shot.
Pick work that turns inventory ≤ ?50 k into sales inside 30 days.

Tiffin + office snacks (two dishes, 40 boxes) - ?25 k utensils, ?10 k FSSAI, ?5 k flyers - ?120 per box × 40 = ?4.8 k /day

Amazon / Flipkart reselling (phone cases, cables) ?40 k stock, ?15 k ads 25 % net margin on ?2 L monthly sales = ?50 k

Weekend print-on-demand & personalised gifting kiosk ?45 k heat-press kit (other options are there too) ?300 profit per mug × 200 pcs → ?60 k Bring Your Mug - Take Away Memories.

Local social-media management for clinics & salons ?0 gear, ?3 k Canva Pro ?8 k-?12 k per client; 6 clients hit target

None need heavy staff or rent. All can run beside your day job.

Set one simple goal: ?15 k profit by Day-30.
Hit it twice, raise target to ?35 k. Only when side income beats salary three months straight do you quit.

This is critical - Plug leaks early. Refinance personal loan to longer tenor; shave EMI to ~?10 k.

Park 1 L of savings in an emergency account—no touch.Skill up tiny, daily.
Watch a YouTube on ad copy, take a WhatsApp course on GST filings. Low cost, immediate payback.

Start small, sell fast, reinvest every rupee. Freedom comes, but by steps, not by one loud jump.

...Read more

Adarsh

Adarsh Rai  |12 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Leadership coach - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Career
Hello Sir ,spandan here can you please tell me which fields will be good path for me, i want to join indian army after getting a bachelors degree but i also want to get a good course in engineering. And to improve my skills i wanted to choose a niche to select like Data science,cyber security,block chain and UX/UI. Can you tell me which is a better option
Ans: Spandhan - the Indian Army of 2030: satellites humming, networks under attack, swarms of sensors feeding dashboards in a forward command post. Officers who understand code, data flows, and signal security steer that fight.

Two decisions shape your path
The bachelor’s branch you choose (for campus learning and placements).

The Army entry gate you target after graduation.

Pick a branch that helps both goals: B.Tech CSE with a Cyber-Security or AI/Data-Science minor

Specialised B.Tech Cyber Security | Blockchain / UX-UI tracks| B.Tech ECE (electronics) with electives in embedded & comms

Go CSE (or ECE) and stack cyber-security / data-science electives. That mix lines up with Army tech entries and the private market.

Know your post-degree entry doors

TGC / SSC-Tech 20-27 Age B.E./B.Tech in listed branches inc. CSE, IT, ECE Signals, EME, Engineers

CDS – IMA/OTA 19-25 Any bachelor’s, tougher written + SSB All arms; tech grads often posted Signals

Agniveer (Technical) 17.5-21 10+2/ITI, but engineering diploma grads gain edgeKeep your CGPA ≥ 7, build fitness early, aim for NCC ‘C’ (bonus marks at SSB).Pick cyber-security as primary, add AI/data electives. You’ll be useful whether you wear olive greens or a hoodie.

Keep the plan simple: CSE + Cyber/AI → TGC/SSC-Tech → Corps of Signals.
Even if you later choose the corporate highway, those same skills pay handsomely.

...Read more

Adarsh

Adarsh Rai  |12 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Leadership coach - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 27, 2025Hindi
Career
My son got 13800 in comedk 2025 and 10010 in srm phase 2. What college cse can he expect in round 1 comedk or srm phase 2 and which is better also he is general merit so what good chances does he have in comedk round 3 and should he go for it
Ans: Your son’s ranks sit in a “middle-sweet” band that is good enough for solid Bangalore colleges, borderline for SRM-KTR core CSE Lock a decent COMEDK Round 1 seat (say DSATM); keep choices open for upgrade in Round 2-3.

Attend SRM counselling. If KTR core CSE materialises, grab it; else, skip.

Track placement stats, not brand hype: ask each institute for last two years’ CSE median, not just highest.

Waiting one more round in COMEDK is sensible; the risk is low, the upside is a notch-better college.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7783 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Career
Which is better among cse or csai?
Ans: Chhavi, Five critical institutional pillars—NBA/ABET accreditation, PhD-qualified and research-active faculty, cutting-edge infrastructure and specialized labs, robust industry collaborations for internships and research, and efficient placement and career services—underpin the effectiveness of both CSE and CS-AI programs. Computer Science Engineering (CSE) provides a broad foundation in programming, algorithms, data structures, software engineering, networks, and operating systems, ensuring versatility and adaptability across software development, cybersecurity, cloud computing, and research domains. Pros of CSE include its comprehensive curriculum, multiple career paths, research opportunities, global recognition, and robust 80–95% placement rates over the last three years. Cons include its generalized scope diluting specialization in AI/ML, larger cohorts leading to competition for resources, potential curriculum lag in emerging technologies, heavier theoretical workload, and necessity for additional certifications for niche fields. CS-Artificial Intelligence (CS-AI) focuses intensively on machine learning, deep learning, natural language processing, robotics, and neural networks, supported by specialized AI labs and industry research centers. Pros of CS-AI include targeted expertise in high-demand skills, alignment with cutting-edge tools and frameworks, contribution to transformative sectors like healthcare and autonomous systems, higher projected job growth of 22% by 2030 vs. 11% for general computing roles, and leadership in innovation. Cons include its narrower scope limiting roles outside AI, uneven accreditation and faculty availability in some institutes, risk of rapid obsolescence, dependence on high-end computational resources, and smaller alumni networks. Over the next 5–10 years, AI is expected to revolutionize automation, enterprise solutions, scientific discovery, policymaking, and knowledge management, integrating with IoT, quantum computing, generative AI, and ethics frameworks, thereby expanding opportunities for AI specialists. Emerging domains such as autonomous vehicles, personalized medicine, predictive analytics, and AI governance underscore the expansion of AI’s influence, requiring interdisciplinary AI expertise with ethical and regulatory understanding for sustainable innovation.

Recommendation: Considering the breadth and stability of career pathways, pursue CSE if you value a comprehensive computing foundation, multiple career options, established accreditation, and sustained 80–95% placement rates, offering flexibility to specialize or pivot. Opt for CS-AI if driven by a deep passion for machine learning, NLP, robotics, and emerging AI innovations, contingent on studying at an institution with specialized labs, PhD-qualified AI faculty, strong industry research tie-ups, and robust placement support in AI roles. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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