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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 11, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Sachin Question by Sachin on Feb 28, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello, I am 45 yrs old, divorced , in love with 29 yrs old girl. We deeply are in love with each other, however Girl’s Parents are not agreeing to our marriage, citing age gap. It’s been 2.5 yrs, have met her Parents many times at their home. Her Parents consider me as a nice guy , but the age gap factor is not letting them to approve our relationship. Am seriously stressed and want to wary that girl only. Request you to kindly suggest 🙏

Ans: It can be challenging when families do not approve of a relationship due to age differences or other factors. However, it's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to enter into a relationship and get married is a personal one that should be based on the feelings and desires of the two people involved.

It's important to continue to communicate openly and honestly with your girlfriend and her parents about your feelings and intentions. Try to listen to their concerns and address them in a respectful and thoughtful way. It may also be helpful to enlist the support of a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator, who can help facilitate a productive conversation between you and your girlfriend's parents.

However, it's also important to recognize that ultimately, you cannot control the decisions of others. If your girlfriend's parents continue to disapprove of the relationship, it may be necessary to consider whether the relationship is sustainable in the long term. It's important to consider not only your feelings for each other, but also the practical realities of your situation and whether you can build a fulfilling and happy life together despite any external challenges.

Ultimately, it's up to you and your girlfriend to decide what is best for your relationship and your future. It may be helpful to continue to work on building a strong foundation of trust, communication, and mutual support, regardless of the outcome with her parents.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |708 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Am 54+ and I am in Love with a Women who is 31 years Younger Than me but, we haven't expressed yet that we love each of us she calls me as Kaka i had helped her during her bad times in 2021 after she had got Covid-19 and her parents don't wanted her to be with her as she approached me and told me to keep her with me for the time being till the situation gets normal after discussion how can I as am married single and alone and my daughter living with my in-laws to accomplish her studies in the mean time the girl have'nt disclosed the age but now when I asked about her age then only she told the age. Now what to do I really love her but am afraid (because of unknown of her age she was Looked like Minor in her behavioral nature) of how to convince that I Love her since last 2 years. We get together in City only for Cafeterias Long Drives and also Am taking the class how to Ride Bike (Scooty). Am her Pillon on Back to control I feel As if am with my Wife as she ( of her Pure and Innocent Soul) is no more since she met with an Fatal Car Accident in 2013. What ot do I don't want to Loose her and also Can't Leave without Her. I Also Insisted her to introduce to Her Parents but she says no. And want to clear that we are not in Physical Relationship only pure Soulful relationship. Pl. Reply GURU
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

From your question, I am assuming that she isn't showing the same interest in you. That makes my advice very simple- please leave her alone. You might feel a hundred things about her, but she might not feel the same way. You have every right to love and be loved, but not with this person whom you think might be too young for you. And even if she reciprocates it someday, I would like for you to understand that she doesn't have the emotional maturity of a full-grown adult. Find someone your age, with your maturity level. Let her be; she has her entire life ahead of her and your feelings will do her no good.

There are plenty of women looking for a genuine relationship. It will certainly be best for both of you if you consider dating those women who can give you the right kind of company and emotional support.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1771 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 08, 2024

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Relationship
Hi. I am 47 year old widower and since last one year I am in love with 20 year old girl. We both are from different states, culture and even our eating habits are. She loves my caring nature and I supported her financially without expecting anything (physical relation). Now we both are serious about marriage. Her parents were initially raised concern about age difference but finally they are agree. But I am bit confused if this much big gap in age will harm our married life. She may realise it after some years. Major problem I see in future when we will think about having child..i am confused.. please advice
Ans: Dear Shailesh,
Yes, the age gap might most likely bother her in a few years when she sees you growing older when she finds a lot of younger men around.
You did mention that her parents are concerned about this alliance BUT what about the girl? What does she think of marriage with you? Since she is young, has she had the time to process if the care that you were showering her with is not actually what she has missed from her parents especially her father? You need to be very careful of this one because she could be projecting her lack of love from her parents onto you and then seek it from you!
And you are right to be concerned about children as well...when you are 60 and wanting to slow down, you might still need to push yourself till the child is at least 20...Do the Math...
Do make the girl aware of these concerns that you have and let her decide for herself independently...You will agree that you cannot become a caring figure in her life rather than a husband.

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11063 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 15, 2026

Money
I'm 43 years old, a govt.employee ,want to invest Rs 20000/ which plan will be better
Ans: Your thought to invest Rs 20,000 every month at age 43 is very good. Many people delay investing, but you are taking action. As a government employee, you already have some stability in income and retirement benefits. So this monthly investment can become a strong wealth builder for your future goals.

Below is a simple and balanced way to think about it.

» Understand Your Investment Objective

Before choosing any plan, it is important to think about what this money is meant for.

– Retirement corpus building
– Children’s education or marriage
– Wealth creation for long-term security
– Financial independence after retirement

Since you are 43 years old, your investment horizon can still be 12–17 years comfortably. That is enough time for growth-oriented investments to work well.

» Why Monthly Investing Is a Good Strategy

Investing Rs 20,000 every month through a disciplined method is very powerful.

– It creates a habit of investing regularly
– It reduces risk of investing at the wrong time
– It allows you to accumulate more units when markets fall
– Over long periods, compounding works strongly

This approach is especially suitable for salaried people like government employees.

» Balanced Allocation for Rs 20,000 Monthly Investment

Instead of putting the full amount in one place, spreading it across different asset types helps reduce risk and improve stability.

A simple structure could be:

– Rs 12,000 in actively managed diversified equity mutual funds
– Rs 5,000 in a hybrid or balanced mutual fund
– Rs 3,000 in a short duration or conservative debt mutual fund

This combination creates both growth and stability.

Equity funds help in wealth creation over long periods. Debt-oriented funds provide balance and reduce volatility. Hybrid funds combine both.

» Why Actively Managed Mutual Funds Can Be Useful

Actively managed funds are handled by experienced fund managers who study companies and market trends.

Benefits include:

– Professional research and stock selection
– Flexibility to adjust portfolio when market conditions change
– Opportunity to generate better returns through active decisions

For investors who want expert management and structured investment discipline, these funds can be very useful.

» Importance of Investing Through Regular Plans

Investing through regular mutual fund plans via a Mutual Fund Distributor who works with a Certified Financial Planner provides important advantages.

– Continuous guidance during market ups and downs
– Help in rebalancing investments when required
– Support during goal planning and review
– Emotional discipline during market corrections

Many investors make mistakes when they invest without guidance. Proper advice and periodic review improve long-term results.

» Risk Management and Safety

Even though equity mutual funds can fluctuate in the short term, long-term investing reduces this risk significantly.

Some important practices:

– Stay invested during market corrections
– Review the portfolio once a year
– Increase the SIP amount when income increases
– Avoid frequent switching between funds

Patience and discipline create the real wealth.

» Tax Awareness

When you sell equity mutual funds:

– Long-term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%
– Short-term gains are taxed at 20%

This makes long-term holding more efficient from a tax point of view.

» Finally

Your decision to invest Rs 20,000 monthly at age 43 is a strong financial step. With around 15 years of disciplined investing, this amount can grow into a meaningful corpus for your future.

A balanced combination of equity-oriented mutual funds, hybrid funds and some debt exposure can give growth with stability. Periodic review with a Certified Financial Planner can ensure the portfolio stays aligned with your life goals.

Consistency matters more than timing. Continue the investment even when markets move up or down.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6855 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Mar 15, 2026

Career
Pleasee help me I given class12 2025 but fail in maths then I given again as private class12 in 2026 but I not given one paper properly so I will fail and i absent in other exam as I was depressed and burnout but now I really want to check jee advance in 2027 pleasee tell me as I had register for nios stream 1 2026 october as fresher so am I eligible for jee advance and BITSAT in 2027. I am preparing for jee mains I am sure if I study well I can get 99.95 % but if you tell me I am ellagable for jee advance and BITSAT 2027 I give less Focus to jee mains and give jee advance pleasee tell true answer don,t guess pleaseee help me
Ans: (1) You are NOT eligible for JEE (Adv) 2027

(2) You WILL be eligible for BITSAT 2027 if you pass Class 12 (PCM) in 2026 through NIOS, because BITSAT allows current year and one previous year pass students.

Practical Advice- Instead of thinking about JEE (Adv), try to score more in the mains and your state-level engineering entrance examinations.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam
Asked on - Mar 15, 2026 | Answered on Mar 15, 2026
Thank you sir
Ans: Welcome. If satisfied, pl follow me.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11063 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 14, 2026

Money
I am 61, minimalist with no bad habits in the life style of NO PILL; NO ILL. Now, the market is down and NAV falls down. my investments are comfortably positive even in the negative market. becuase the investment started very early and unis purchased at very low price. Now, the question is should I withdraw the funds; a portion of profit and invest in the downward trend so that I will get more units and i will not loose the capital because I am planning to withdraw only the portion of the profits. Please guide me should I need to reshuffle by withdrawing and re investing ..!!
Ans: Your disciplined lifestyle and long investing journey are truly inspiring. Starting early and holding investments patiently has created a comfortable cushion for you. Even when the market is falling, your portfolio remains positive. That itself shows the power of long-term investing.

Now your question is about withdrawing profit and reinvesting during the market fall. Let us examine this carefully.

» Understanding What You Are Trying To Do

Your idea is:

– Withdraw only the profit portion
– Reinvest when NAV is lower
– Get more units
– Protect original capital

This approach looks logical on the surface. But in practice it becomes very difficult to execute consistently.

» The Challenge of Timing the Market

To succeed in this strategy two things must happen correctly.

– You must sell at the right time
– You must reinvest at the correct lower level

Predicting market movement precisely is extremely difficult. Even experienced investors struggle with this.

If markets suddenly recover after you redeem, you may lose the opportunity of further growth.

» Impact of Taxes on Withdrawal

Whenever you redeem equity mutual funds:

– Long term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%
– Short term capital gains are taxed at 20%

So withdrawing profit may trigger tax liability. This reduces the benefit of trying to buy more units.

Frequent reshuffling can quietly reduce long-term wealth.

» Your Age and Investment Objective

At 61, your goal should shift slightly.

Earlier the focus was:

– Maximum growth

Now the focus should be:

– Capital protection
– Controlled growth
– Income stability

So instead of frequent buying and selling, gradual portfolio balance is more suitable.

» A Better Approach for Your Situation

Rather than timing the market, consider this approach:

– Keep the core long-term equity investments untouched
– If equity allocation has grown very large, slowly shift small portion into safer assets
– Continue enjoying compounding from existing units purchased at low prices

This maintains growth while protecting accumulated wealth.

» Systematic Withdrawal Planning

If you need regular income later:

– You can withdraw small amounts periodically
– This reduces market timing risk
– Portfolio continues to grow while providing income

This is usually more comfortable for retired investors.

» Emotional Discipline

Your biggest strength so far has been patience.

The temptation to reshuffle during market movements often disturbs long-term success.

Many investors lose wealth not because of bad investments but because of unnecessary switching.

» Finally

Since your investments were made early and units were bought at very low prices, the best strategy is usually to stay invested and allow compounding to continue.

Avoid frequent profit booking and reinvestment based on market movements.

Instead:

– Maintain a balanced asset allocation
– Protect capital gradually
– Allow long-term equity investments to keep growing

Your disciplined journey has already created strong financial security. Preserving that strength is now more important than trying to capture short-term opportunities.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11063 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 14, 2026

Money
I am a retired doctor with 1lac pension kindly suggest to invest 30000per month
Ans: Your disciplined habit of investing even after retirement is very encouraging. With a pension of Rs 1 lakh per month, planning to invest Rs 30,000 shows that you are thinking about preserving and growing your wealth in a structured manner.

At this stage of life, the focus should be balanced between safety, regular growth, and liquidity.

» Understanding Your Financial Stage

You are a retired professional receiving steady pension income.

This means:

– Your regular expenses are already supported
– Investment goal is wealth preservation and moderate growth
– Liquidity for health and family needs is important

So the investment approach should be balanced and not aggressive.

» Emergency and Medical Reserve

Before starting monthly investment, ensure:

– At least 12 months of expenses kept in safe liquid instruments
– Adequate health insurance coverage

Medical expenses increase with age. Having a dedicated medical reserve prevents disturbance to investments.

» Balanced Investment Approach

For a retired person, full equity exposure is not suitable. But avoiding equity completely also reduces growth.

A balanced structure is ideal.

For the Rs 30,000 monthly investment:

– Around Rs 15,000 in actively managed diversified equity mutual funds
– Around Rs 10,000 in short duration or conservative debt mutual funds
– Around Rs 5,000 in gold allocation for diversification

This structure provides growth with stability.

» Importance of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed mutual funds are suitable because:

– Fund managers actively select strong companies
– They adjust portfolio when market conditions change
– Aim to generate better returns than the market

This professional management helps investors who prefer not to monitor markets regularly.

» Investment Horizon and Liquidity

Even after retirement, investments can continue for 10 to 15 years.

So:

– Continue SIP regularly
– Review portfolio once every year
– Keep sufficient liquidity for emergencies

Avoid locking large amounts into instruments with long lock-in periods.

» Tax Awareness

If you redeem equity mutual funds:

– Long term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– Short term gains taxed at 20%

Debt mutual fund gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Planning withdrawals carefully can reduce tax impact.

» Finally

Your plan to invest Rs 30,000 monthly is a strong step toward maintaining financial independence.

A balanced portfolio with equity, debt, and gold can help:

– Preserve your wealth
– Provide moderate growth
– Maintain liquidity for future needs

Regular review with a Certified Financial Planner can ensure that your investments remain aligned with your lifestyle and health needs during retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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