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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |120 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 11, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Sachin Question by Sachin on Feb 28, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello, I am 45 yrs old, divorced , in love with 29 yrs old girl. We deeply are in love with each other, however Girl’s Parents are not agreeing to our marriage, citing age gap. It’s been 2.5 yrs, have met her Parents many times at their home. Her Parents consider me as a nice guy , but the age gap factor is not letting them to approve our relationship. Am seriously stressed and want to wary that girl only. Request you to kindly suggest 🙏

Ans: It can be challenging when families do not approve of a relationship due to age differences or other factors. However, it's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to enter into a relationship and get married is a personal one that should be based on the feelings and desires of the two people involved.

It's important to continue to communicate openly and honestly with your girlfriend and her parents about your feelings and intentions. Try to listen to their concerns and address them in a respectful and thoughtful way. It may also be helpful to enlist the support of a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator, who can help facilitate a productive conversation between you and your girlfriend's parents.

However, it's also important to recognize that ultimately, you cannot control the decisions of others. If your girlfriend's parents continue to disapprove of the relationship, it may be necessary to consider whether the relationship is sustainable in the long term. It's important to consider not only your feelings for each other, but also the practical realities of your situation and whether you can build a fulfilling and happy life together despite any external challenges.

Ultimately, it's up to you and your girlfriend to decide what is best for your relationship and your future. It may be helpful to continue to work on building a strong foundation of trust, communication, and mutual support, regardless of the outcome with her parents.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |504 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Am 54+ and I am in Love with a Women who is 31 years Younger Than me but, we haven't expressed yet that we love each of us she calls me as Kaka i had helped her during her bad times in 2021 after she had got Covid-19 and her parents don't wanted her to be with her as she approached me and told me to keep her with me for the time being till the situation gets normal after discussion how can I as am married single and alone and my daughter living with my in-laws to accomplish her studies in the mean time the girl have'nt disclosed the age but now when I asked about her age then only she told the age. Now what to do I really love her but am afraid (because of unknown of her age she was Looked like Minor in her behavioral nature) of how to convince that I Love her since last 2 years. We get together in City only for Cafeterias Long Drives and also Am taking the class how to Ride Bike (Scooty). Am her Pillon on Back to control I feel As if am with my Wife as she ( of her Pure and Innocent Soul) is no more since she met with an Fatal Car Accident in 2013. What ot do I don't want to Loose her and also Can't Leave without Her. I Also Insisted her to introduce to Her Parents but she says no. And want to clear that we are not in Physical Relationship only pure Soulful relationship. Pl. Reply GURU
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

From your question, I am assuming that she isn't showing the same interest in you. That makes my advice very simple- please leave her alone. You might feel a hundred things about her, but she might not feel the same way. You have every right to love and be loved, but not with this person whom you think might be too young for you. And even if she reciprocates it someday, I would like for you to understand that she doesn't have the emotional maturity of a full-grown adult. Find someone your age, with your maturity level. Let her be; she has her entire life ahead of her and your feelings will do her no good.

There are plenty of women looking for a genuine relationship. It will certainly be best for both of you if you consider dating those women who can give you the right kind of company and emotional support.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 08, 2024

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Relationship
Hi. I am 47 year old widower and since last one year I am in love with 20 year old girl. We both are from different states, culture and even our eating habits are. She loves my caring nature and I supported her financially without expecting anything (physical relation). Now we both are serious about marriage. Her parents were initially raised concern about age difference but finally they are agree. But I am bit confused if this much big gap in age will harm our married life. She may realise it after some years. Major problem I see in future when we will think about having child..i am confused.. please advice
Ans: Dear Shailesh,
Yes, the age gap might most likely bother her in a few years when she sees you growing older when she finds a lot of younger men around.
You did mention that her parents are concerned about this alliance BUT what about the girl? What does she think of marriage with you? Since she is young, has she had the time to process if the care that you were showering her with is not actually what she has missed from her parents especially her father? You need to be very careful of this one because she could be projecting her lack of love from her parents onto you and then seek it from you!
And you are right to be concerned about children as well...when you are 60 and wanting to slow down, you might still need to push yourself till the child is at least 20...Do the Math...
Do make the girl aware of these concerns that you have and let her decide for herself independently...You will agree that you cannot become a caring figure in her life rather than a husband.

All the best!

..Read more

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