Ans: Dear PB,
Thank you for your kind words on my writings and columns. Highly appreciate it.
I cannot assure you of the fact of her not having any emotional reactions. Her reactions are not something that you can control.
The easiest way to resolve this confusion that you are going through is to simply express it. It’s similar to how children are.
Have you seen them say things without a filter and unfazed by how the other person will react?
Then along came the adults and asked them to keep quiet and then the child in us grew up to become a recluse and ignore our own feelings.
I agree there is an etiquette and social norms to be followed as adults but to not be able to express our feelings is nothing but conditioning from our childhood.
And what did it teach us? It taught us to avoid the rejection and ensuing disappointment.
That’s exactly what you are running away from; all the rejection that may happen and the disappointment from that.
But what use is that love if you can’t express it for fear of rejection. If you feel so strongly about it, approach it boldly and very gently.
Yes, it may shock her and it’s possible she has no feelings or sees you as a brother, but at least you know where the connection stands.
Now whether she is going to be hurt or not is a question of how emotionally mature she is.
So, before you start the conversation, do request her to hear you fully and not judge you for your honesty. This may ease her shock and help her respond rather than react to you.
On your part, keep your expectations to a low and smile through the situation. It helps lighten the load that you might be carrying.
All the best!
