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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |750 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 25, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Am 54+ and I am in Love with a Women who is 31 years Younger Than me but, we haven't expressed yet that we love each of us she calls me as Kaka i had helped her during her bad times in 2021 after she had got Covid-19 and her parents don't wanted her to be with her as she approached me and told me to keep her with me for the time being till the situation gets normal after discussion how can I as am married single and alone and my daughter living with my in-laws to accomplish her studies in the mean time the girl have'nt disclosed the age but now when I asked about her age then only she told the age. Now what to do I really love her but am afraid (because of unknown of her age she was Looked like Minor in her behavioral nature) of how to convince that I Love her since last 2 years. We get together in City only for Cafeterias Long Drives and also Am taking the class how to Ride Bike (Scooty). Am her Pillon on Back to control I feel As if am with my Wife as she ( of her Pure and Innocent Soul) is no more since she met with an Fatal Car Accident in 2013. What ot do I don't want to Loose her and also Can't Leave without Her. I Also Insisted her to introduce to Her Parents but she says no. And want to clear that we are not in Physical Relationship only pure Soulful relationship. Pl. Reply GURU

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

From your question, I am assuming that she isn't showing the same interest in you. That makes my advice very simple- please leave her alone. You might feel a hundred things about her, but she might not feel the same way. You have every right to love and be loved, but not with this person whom you think might be too young for you. And even if she reciprocates it someday, I would like for you to understand that she doesn't have the emotional maturity of a full-grown adult. Find someone your age, with your maturity level. Let her be; she has her entire life ahead of her and your feelings will do her no good.

There are plenty of women looking for a genuine relationship. It will certainly be best for both of you if you consider dating those women who can give you the right kind of company and emotional support.

Best Wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1822 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 23, 2022

Relationship
Hi Anu,Myself Praveen. I appreciate your writings on Rediff. First of all thanks for that.I would like to ask guidance or your thoughts on establishing a relationship with my lady friend. I met her 4 years back in my old office and we got in company soon and started talking and somewhat share most of the personal s***s too. I started having feelings for her. I mean I wish to have a marital relationship with her because I am very comfortable with her. But I was unable to make any move or feared of losing her company if I tell her my love.That time I never knew her age. Later I moved from that job to pursue some personal goals so I moved to some other place without the knowledge of my own family. The only person who knew about it was her. She stood with me and emotionally supported me and was knowing that it was my strong wish of having that dream/goal. We were in touch as nice friends. Her phone calls were happy moments for me because I was alone at my new place where I'd gone to pursue my dream. Someday she called me and during call she was upset. That day she shared some of her personal things and during the conversation I realised that she is 8 years older than me and she is at her mid 30s. Firstly, it was like a shock for me. I wondered why a beautiful girl like she not got into a marriage or any other serious relationship still that age. Okay, that doesn't matter me. However, knowing about most of the complexity in this partnership including support from both family or cliche society thoughts; I decided to have her as my life partner. But still I am not able to make a move like that. Somehow, I had to come back to my homeplace and sorry to say that I failed to pursue my goal which was bit depressing. Still I couldn't make a move to talk her about this. I am getting an odd feeling that she treats me as a brother or a nice friend only. I am confused when she calls me bro. Some days ago she told me that I am her good brother. Frankly I don't like her calling me bro. I still love her and I always see her as my life partner.The thing is I fear that I may lose her company if I express my love for her. Also I fear that she may emotionally get low if she really considering me as her brother. I don't want to give her any pain, but meanwhile I couldn't miss her in my life. Nowadays, we rarely talk on phone or meet because some of her professional engagements. That is not a problem for me. I respect her as well as her personal space. Only thing I want is to communicate her about my mind and having a relationship with her. I know she might also be concerned about our age gap as well as what society may say, but I don't care such rubbish. I strongly believe that I can be a great partner. Share your thoughts on making an approach without giving her any emotional pain or trauma.
Ans:

Dear PB,

Thank you for your kind words on my writings and columns. Highly appreciate it.

I cannot assure you of the fact of her not having any emotional reactions. Her reactions are not something that you can control.

The easiest way to resolve this confusion that you are going through is to simply express it. It’s similar to how children are.

Have you seen them say things without a filter and unfazed by how the other person will react?

Then along came the adults and asked them to keep quiet and then the child in us grew up to become a recluse and ignore our own feelings.

I agree there is an etiquette and social norms to be followed as adults but to not be able to express our feelings is nothing but conditioning from our childhood.

And what did it teach us? It taught us to avoid the rejection and ensuing disappointment.

That’s exactly what you are running away from; all the rejection that may happen and the disappointment from that.

But what use is that love if you can’t express it for fear of rejection. If you feel so strongly about it, approach it boldly and very gently.

Yes, it may shock her and it’s possible she has no feelings or sees you as a brother, but at least you know where the connection stands.

Now whether she is going to be hurt or not is a question of how emotionally mature she is.

So, before you start the conversation, do request her to hear you fully and not judge you for your honesty. This may ease her shock and help her respond rather than react to you.

On your part, keep your expectations to a low and smile through the situation. It helps lighten the load that you might be carrying.

All the best!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 11, 2023

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Relationship
Hello, I am 45 yrs old, divorced , in love with 29 yrs old girl. We deeply are in love with each other, however Girl’s Parents are not agreeing to our marriage, citing age gap. It’s been 2.5 yrs, have met her Parents many times at their home. Her Parents consider me as a nice guy , but the age gap factor is not letting them to approve our relationship. Am seriously stressed and want to wary that girl only. Request you to kindly suggest 🙏
Ans: It can be challenging when families do not approve of a relationship due to age differences or other factors. However, it's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to enter into a relationship and get married is a personal one that should be based on the feelings and desires of the two people involved.

It's important to continue to communicate openly and honestly with your girlfriend and her parents about your feelings and intentions. Try to listen to their concerns and address them in a respectful and thoughtful way. It may also be helpful to enlist the support of a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator, who can help facilitate a productive conversation between you and your girlfriend's parents.

However, it's also important to recognize that ultimately, you cannot control the decisions of others. If your girlfriend's parents continue to disapprove of the relationship, it may be necessary to consider whether the relationship is sustainable in the long term. It's important to consider not only your feelings for each other, but also the practical realities of your situation and whether you can build a fulfilling and happy life together despite any external challenges.

Ultimately, it's up to you and your girlfriend to decide what is best for your relationship and your future. It may be helpful to continue to work on building a strong foundation of trust, communication, and mutual support, regardless of the outcome with her parents.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |750 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 30, 2024

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Relationship
I am 43 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some reason they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It is refreshing to see someone so selfless as you. I understand and appreciate your love and how much you are ready to sacrifice for her. However, I would like to offer a suggestion – it's crucial to prioritize your own mental and emotional health in this situation. While it's unfortunate that she is dealing with challenges in her marriage, resorting to having an affair might not be the most constructive way to cope.

I suggest that she and her husband explore the option of seeking professional help through a marriage counselor. This could help them navigate the complexities of their relationship and make an informed decision about whether to continue their marriage or part ways. In case they decide to separate, it would be valid for you two to start a relationship and pursue a happy life together. But if they decide to remain married, I fear that you might end up sacrificing your own chance at a fulfilling love life. I realize that you might be okay with it, but it isn't fair to you.

I encourage you to have an open and honest discussion with her before committing to anything, ensuring that your feelings and well-being are also taken into account.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

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Relationship
I am 43 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some reason they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide
Ans: Dear P,
This is undoubtedly a complex and emotionally challenging situation. It's important to approach it with care and consideration for both your feelings and hers. Reflect on your own feelings and desires. Consider what you want in a relationship and whether you can realistically achieve those goals in this situation Talk to her about your concerns, fears, and the impact this situation has on both of you. Discuss the future and what you both want. Ensure that you're on the same page about your expectations and the potential challenges that may arise Understand the potential consequences of continuing this relationship. Consider the impact on her family, your own well-being, and the well-being of any children involved. Be realistic about the challenges you may face. Consider the long-term implications of the relationship. If there is no possibility of it evolving into a more conventional partnership and that is something you desire, you may need to evaluate whether continuing the relationship is in your best interest Ultimately, the decision you make should align with your values, desires, and what you believe is best for your overall well-being. It may be a difficult decision to make, but taking the time to reflect, communicate, and seek guidance can help you navigate this challenging situation.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11484 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2026
Money
I am a 54 year old male working abroad. I have below investments. I have below investments so far: PPF 55 lakhs,EPF 36 lakhs, MF (total cumulative) 5.5 crores ,Employee superannuity+gratuity 14.5 lakhs, NPS 17 lakhs Monthly MF SIP ongoing 2 lakhs Company FD 10 lakhs Gold 16 lakhs. I am well covered in life insurance as well as medical insurance. My question is 1) My wife is getting a one time windfall of Rs .80 Lakhs as part of her share in her ancestral property. a)Pls guide me on how to invest this money b) what are the ways to save on tax eg. rbi relief bonds etc? c) if rbi relief bonds how much is the maximum limit d) beyond that limit where should i remaining balance?
Ans: Thank you for sharing your investment details. You have built a substantial investment portfolio through regular investing. The key now is to invest your wifes Rs.80 lakh windfall in a tax-efficient manner without adding unnecessary risk.

» Assessment of Your Current Portfolio

– Your existing investments are spread across mutual funds, EPF, PPF, NPS, company deposits and gold.

– Your mutual fund corpus is already substantial, with an ongoing SIP of Rs.2 lakh per month.

– Therefore, the entire windfall need not go into equity mutual funds. Your decision should depend on your retirement age, expected expenses, tax residency and the level of risk you are comfortable taking.

– Since you are working abroad, your residential status under Indian tax laws is important. The tax treatment of your investments and interest income can differ based on whether you qualify as a resident, NRI or RNOR.

» 1. How to Invest the Rs.80 Lakh Windfall

First, keep the money in your wifes name if she is the legal recipient of the ancestral property proceeds. Maintain proper documents showing the source of funds.

Consider dividing the money into three broad purposes:

– Safety and liquidity: Keep a suitable amount in bank deposits or other low-risk instruments for emergencies and expenses expected in the next few years.

– Stable income: Consider suitable government-backed or high-quality fixed-income options, after checking eligibility, taxation, lock-in and withdrawal rules.

– Long-term growth: Invest a portion in diversified, actively managed equity mutual funds if the money is not required for at least 7–10 years.

Since your existing mutual fund corpus is already Rs.5.5 crore, avoid putting the entire Rs.80 lakh into equity without reviewing your overall asset allocation. Your present equity exposure may already be sufficient for your retirement goals.

» 2. Can You Save Tax Through RBI Bonds?

It is important to distinguish between tax-saving investments and investments that offer safety or regular interest income.

RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds are generally considered for investors seeking government-backed interest income. However, they are not a tax-saving instrument.

– Interest earned is taxable according to the applicable income tax rules.

– Investing in these bonds does not automatically provide a deduction under Section 80C.

– The bonds have a seven-year maturity period for ordinary individual investors, with premature encashment permitted only under specified conditions for eligible senior citizens.

– Interest rates are reset periodically, so the income may change over time.

Hence, these bonds can be considered for the safety and income portion of the portfolio, but not as a way to reduce tax on the windfall itself.

» 3. What Is the Maximum Investment Limit in RBI Bonds?

– There is no maximum investment limit in RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds.

– However, these bonds are available to eligible resident individuals and HUFs. If your wife is an NRI, she would not be eligible to invest in these bonds under the current eligibility rules. Confirm her residential status before proceeding.

– The interest rate for July–December 2026 is 8.05% per annum, payable half-yearly. The rate is reset periodically.

– The maturity period is seven years, and liquidity is limited. Premature encashment is allowed only for eligible senior citizens after the specified lock-in period.

Therefore, these bonds may suit the stable-income portion of your wifes portfolio, provided she is eligible and can accept the lock-in.

» 4. Can You Save Capital Gains Tax on the Ancestral Property?

This is an important point to clarify before investing the money.

– If your wife received the property through inheritance, the inheritance itself is generally not taxable as income.

– However, if the ancestral property was sold and Rs.80 lakh represents her share of the sale proceeds, capital gains tax may arise. The taxable gain is not necessarily the entire amount received.

– Depending on the facts, Section 54EC capital gains bonds may offer tax relief when eligible long-term capital gains arise from the sale of land or a building.

– The maximum investment eligible for this exemption is Rs.50 lakh, subject to the applicable conditions and timelines. The investment must generally be made within six months of the transfer.

– These are different from RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds. Section 54EC bonds are meant for eligible capital gains exemption, whereas RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds provide taxable interest income.

If the property has already been sold, please check the sale date immediately. The deadline for claiming an exemption may be important.

» 5. Where Should You Invest the Remaining Amount?

If your wife is eligible for Section 54EC bonds and has sufficient eligible capital gains, up to Rs.50 lakh may be considered for that purpose.

The remaining amount can be allocated based on your financial goals.

– Bank deposits or other suitable fixed-income investments for short-term needs and capital safety.

– High-quality fixed-income instruments for the portion meant to provide stability.

– Diversified, actively managed equity mutual funds for long-term growth, if your overall portfolio review shows that additional equity exposure is appropriate.

Do not invest in a particular product only because it offers a tax benefit. Consider liquidity, taxation, maturity and the purpose of the investment.

» 6. My Final Assessment

Your family already has a strong investment base. At age 54, retirement planning, tax efficiency and asset allocation deserve more attention than simply maximising returns.

Before investing the Rs.80 lakh, please clarify these three points:

– Is the Rs.80 lakh received from an actual sale of ancestral property, or has your wife received the property itself as her share?

– Is your wife an Indian resident or an NRI for income-tax purposes?

– When was the property sold, if a sale has taken place?

These details will help determine whether capital gains tax applies, whether Section 54EC bonds are suitable, and how the remaining money can be invested efficiently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11484 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 13, 2026

Money
my father is 75 years old and my mother is 70 years old, she has stent in the heart, can you recommend which is the best health insurance policy for them. thanks
Ans: Thank you for sharing your parents details. Having health insurance at this age is important, especially when your mother has a heart stent.

» Health Insurance for Your Parents

– At 75 and 70 years, getting a new health insurance policy may be difficult. Premiums can also be high, and some insurers may not accept the application.

– Your fathers health condition and your mothers heart history will be considered during underwriting. Since your mother has a heart stent, the insurer may impose waiting periods, exclusions or other conditions.

– Do not choose a policy based on premium alone. Check the coverage, room rent limits, co-payment, disease-wise limits and claim conditions carefully.

» What You Should Check Before Buying

– Look for a senior citizen health insurance policy that accepts applicants of their ages and offers reasonable hospitalisation coverage.

– For your mother, disclose the heart stent procedure and all related medical details honestly. Ask the insurer in writing whether future cardiac treatment will be covered and from when.

– Check the co-payment clause. If the policy has a 20% co-payment, you may have to pay 20% of eligible hospital expenses yourself.

– Check pre-existing disease waiting periods. Existing heart conditions may not be covered immediately.

– Check whether the policy has limits on ICU charges, room rent, specific treatments or the total amount payable for certain illnesses.

» Consider These Alternatives

– If your parents already have health insurance, check whether it can be continued or enhanced. Keeping existing coverage may be more useful than buying a new policy.

– Check whether they have any employer-sponsored, government-sponsored or other eligible health coverage.

– If new insurance is unavailable or too costly, maintain a separate medical emergency fund. This will help meet hospital expenses not covered by insurance.

» My Assessment

At their ages, I would first check existing insurance and its continuation options. Then compare new policies based on actual coverage and exclusions.

For your mother, written confirmation about cardiac coverage is especially important. Do not assume that a policy will cover heart-related treatment simply because the insurer accepts her application.

Please share these three details for a more suitable assessment:

– Do your parents currently have any health insurance? If yes, what is the sum insured?

– Which city do they live in?

– Does your mother have any other medical conditions apart from the heart stent?

With these details, we can narrow down the available options and identify the most practical way to protect your parents from large medical expenses.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Krishna

Krishna Kumar  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Oct 12, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 12, 2026
Career
In my office, there are times when a colleague gets stuck with some work or makes a mistake, and I try to help them so that the work gets completed on time. Sometimes, I even put my own work aside to help them because I feel that we should support each other as a team. But when I am busy with my own tasks and need some help, the same colleagues are not always available. They may say they are busy or ask me to manage it myself. I don’t want to stop helping others because of this, as I feel it is important to maintain good relationships at work. At the same time, I sometimes feel that people take my helpful nature for granted, and my own work gets delayed because of it. I also worry that if I start refusing to help, my colleagues may think I have become selfish or uncooperative.
Ans: Dear

Very good question.

Few things let's get it clear. Each one is hired for a particular role and deliverables and they are paid for that.

You are hired first to do your work and deliverables assigned to you. Helping colleagues with their work, while letting your work aside is akin to not doing your responsibility.

My suggestion would be first focus on your work, if someone approaches you with a help and assistance for their work, you can provide them with guidance but do not end up doing their work.

If you are in the midst of your work and someone approaches you, you can politely yet firmly tell them that you are in mids if an important work and once done you will call them. DO NOT set aside your work for someone else. Remember you are working in a corporate world and not some social charitable organisation where any one can do everyone's work.

Hope this helps. All the best.

Warm Regards
KK

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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