I sometimes avoid people, for no reason and I never approach others, this has led me to not know many people, what can I do to break this cycle? I want to know more people

Ans: Dear S, You face what is called performance related stress as you are worried about failure and being embarrassed in front of a crowd.

Firstly, know why you are having to be in front of a crowd; office presentations, meetings and thinks like that. If it is necessary for your job and in life in general, let’s work at this.

Start watching videos of people who are orators, great speakers and who enthrall others on stage

Next, observe every movement of theirs and how they walk, talk, their voice etc.

Then, simply take on the same role imagining yourself to be them and do the same. Live this role. Try doing this many times over till it becomes second nature to you.

Finally, imagine a situation where you want to feel confident. And imagine doing your new learning from Step 3 and living it. Do this a couple of times till you think you are ready.

The next time, with the same situation, things should definitely go your way and you will be in charge for sure.

Be confident and happy new learning!

Anu Krishna is a Mind Coach, NLP Trainer, Zen Lifestyle Expert and has recently released her book The Secret of Life – Decoding Happiness.
She is also the Founder of Soulful Exploration LLP and Unfear Changemakers LLP.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Two things to understand here:
1. You are an introvert and you are happy being one
2. You are a forced introvert as you are unable to break the walls that you have put around you.

If you belong to the first category, enjoy the state of bliss as is. But from what I gather, you seem to falling under the second category wherein you want to expand your social circle and be a part of activities etc.
Then you have to put yourself out there.
1. Do understand that as much you want to be engaged with like-minded people, even these people will at some point in time think different from you.
2. Do accept people for who they are and that way you will come from a non-judgemental space while engaging with them.
3. Do connect with people who are totally different from you and it will help you expand your mind to be curious about them.

If this is a difficult thing to do...think....What if one of your children came to you with the same problem that you have now? What would you tell them to do?
Also, get into circles on social media that discuss topics which interest you. Join a gym or a hobby class and that is an avenue to make new friends irrespective of gender.
To add more friends, you need to be friendly as well...so open your heart and mind...

All the best!

Ans: It's entirely normal to feel uncomfortable or awkward when reconnecting with people you haven't been in contact with for a while or struggling to recognize them. Here are some tips that might help you navigate these situations more comfortably:

Focus on listening attentively to what the other person is saying rather than worrying about recognizing them or feeling awkward. Engage in the conversation by asking questions and showing genuine interest in their experiences.
If you're struggling to remember someone's name or recognize them, it's okay to be honest about it. You can say something like, "I'm sorry, it's been a while since we last met, and I'm having trouble placing you. Could you remind me of your name?" Most people will understand and appreciate your honesty.
Try to recall any shared experiences or details that might help jog your memory about the person you're reconnecting with. Ask about mutual friends, past events, or shared interests to facilitate the conversation.
Stay present in the moment and focus on the conversation rather than letting your mind wander or dwell on feelings of awkwardness. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, can help you stay centered and calm.
Approach the situation with a positive attitude and be open to reconnecting with old acquaintances. Remember that it's natural for people to change and evolve over time, and your past interactions may have shaped who they are today.
It's okay to make mistakes or feel uncomfortable in social situations. Be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone experiences moments of awkwardness from time to time. Focus on learning and growing from each interaction rather than dwelling on perceived shortcomings.
If you're feeling particularly anxious about reconnecting with people, consider practicing social skills in low-pressure situations. Role-play conversations with a friend or family member, or join social groups or activities where you can gradually build confidence in interacting with others.
Remember that social interactions can be challenging for many people, and you're not alone in feeling this way. By approaching these situations with patience, honesty, and a willingness to learn, you can navigate them more comfortably over time.

Ans: I assume you haven't started working and in that case, for starters become a Alumni Association member of your college.

In addition try reading this book.
How to Win Friends and Influence People is a 1936 self-help book written by Dale Carnegie. Over 30 million copies have been sold worldwide, making it one of the best-selling books of all time. Carnegie had been conducting business education courses in New York since 1912.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What we are uncomfortable with is what we must face and overcome.
Join Toastmasters Club (look up the Internet for more on this) or any public speaking clubs that will enable you to not just speak but build on your confidence. For growing your social circle, move around with people who share similar interests such as yours. Maybe hiking, trekking, painting...This will ensure that you have opportunities to not just meet people but also connect with them through sharing experiences and thoughts. Slowly, but surely...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/