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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |331 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I sometimes avoid people, for no reason and I never approach others, this has led me to not know many people, what can I do to break this cycle? I want to know more people

Ans: It’s perfectly natural to feel hesitant about social interactions, and it’s great that you’re looking to change this pattern.

Start with small steps. Try brief interactions in your daily routine, like greeting a barista or chatting with a neighbor. These casual conversations can help build your confidence.

Find spaces where you already feel comfortable, such as your favorite café or a local park. Familiar environments make it easier to start conversations.

Engage in activities or groups that interest you. Shared hobbies or volunteer work can naturally connect you with like-minded people, providing easy conversation starters.

Be kind to yourself during this process. Recognize and celebrate each effort you make, no matter how small. Understanding your feelings about social situations can guide you in finding what works best for you.

Consider using online communities as a starting point. They can be less intimidating and can eventually lead to in-person interactions.

Leverage your existing network to meet new people. Attending events with friends or asking for introductions can make socializing feel more manageable.

If you find these steps challenging, seeking support from a coach or therapist can be helpful. They can offer tailored strategies and guidance to build your social confidence.

Remember, it’s okay to take things at your own pace. Each small step is progress.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1155 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 12, 2020

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I'm 39 years old. Ever since my childhood, I was always afraid of facing people. Was reading in front of class or reciting a poem, I always felt running away and avoiding it. The problem further worsened as I grew up, as I started feeling difficult making friends. I get a feeling that people don't like me, and it’s evident whenever I'm part of a gathering usually peopleignore me. Hence I tend to avoid interacting with people. I don't know how to handle this situation. I don't have this issue while interacting with people whom I know, and am pretty confident with familiar people whom I interact with on day to day basis. In front of people, or when I put on a spot I really feel awkward and anxious. The thought keeps on bothering me and I don't get sleep at times. Please provide me suggestions/inputs on how I can get rid of this problem.
Ans: Dear S, You face what is called performance related stress as you are worried about failure and being embarrassed in front of a crowd.

Firstly, know why you are having to be in front of a crowd; office presentations, meetings and thinks like that. If it is necessary for your job and in life in general, let’s work at this.

Start watching videos of people who are orators, great speakers and who enthrall others on stage

Next, observe every movement of theirs and how they walk, talk, their voice etc.

Then, simply take on the same role imagining yourself to be them and do the same. Live this role. Try doing this many times over till it becomes second nature to you.

Finally, imagine a situation where you want to feel confident. And imagine doing your new learning from Step 3 and living it. Do this a couple of times till you think you are ready.

The next time, with the same situation, things should definitely go your way and you will be in charge for sure.

Be confident and happy new learning!

Anu Krishna is a Mind Coach, NLP Trainer, Zen Lifestyle Expert and has recently released her book The Secret of Life – Decoding Happiness.
She is also the Founder of Soulful Exploration LLP and Unfear Changemakers LLP.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1155 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2023Hindi
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hi , I am a 40 year old man with 2 kids and wife , aged parents .Financially and health wise i am doing good and working in a reputed mnc. My relationship with parents , wife ,kids and siblings is in good spirits . however i am an introvert and don't have many friends .while i had friends in childhood and youth however they have moved in there life .i want to have an improved social life and also have joined a course to improve social skills and more strong relationship socially and at work . As course suggest to approach people , however i still don't approach/talk to people when opportunity is there .i also tried to have more positive attitude towards other people ..however still sometimes i start criticizing them in my mind...and sometimes i feel that approaching /talking may belittle me in front of them,,,, and talking /approaching opposite sex is even more difficult ... any suggestion to improve on this part and how i can improve my social life and get/find company of like minded people .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Two things to understand here:
1. You are an introvert and you are happy being one
2. You are a forced introvert as you are unable to break the walls that you have put around you.

If you belong to the first category, enjoy the state of bliss as is. But from what I gather, you seem to falling under the second category wherein you want to expand your social circle and be a part of activities etc.
Then you have to put yourself out there.
1. Do understand that as much you want to be engaged with like-minded people, even these people will at some point in time think different from you.
2. Do accept people for who they are and that way you will come from a non-judgemental space while engaging with them.
3. Do connect with people who are totally different from you and it will help you expand your mind to be curious about them.

If this is a difficult thing to do...think....What if one of your children came to you with the same problem that you have now? What would you tell them to do?
Also, get into circles on social media that discuss topics which interest you. Join a gym or a hobby class and that is an avenue to make new friends irrespective of gender.
To add more friends, you need to be friendly as well...so open your heart and mind...

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |331 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am finding it hard to talk with strangers/random people whom I've known in the past but not in contact for a while and finding it hard to recognize some which makes them feel awkward. What should I do, are there exercises I could do/should I accept that about me, maybe be upfront about it but that will be awkward too? Age 24
Ans: It's entirely normal to feel uncomfortable or awkward when reconnecting with people you haven't been in contact with for a while or struggling to recognize them. Here are some tips that might help you navigate these situations more comfortably:

Focus on listening attentively to what the other person is saying rather than worrying about recognizing them or feeling awkward. Engage in the conversation by asking questions and showing genuine interest in their experiences.
If you're struggling to remember someone's name or recognize them, it's okay to be honest about it. You can say something like, "I'm sorry, it's been a while since we last met, and I'm having trouble placing you. Could you remind me of your name?" Most people will understand and appreciate your honesty.
Try to recall any shared experiences or details that might help jog your memory about the person you're reconnecting with. Ask about mutual friends, past events, or shared interests to facilitate the conversation.
Stay present in the moment and focus on the conversation rather than letting your mind wander or dwell on feelings of awkwardness. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, can help you stay centered and calm.
Approach the situation with a positive attitude and be open to reconnecting with old acquaintances. Remember that it's natural for people to change and evolve over time, and your past interactions may have shaped who they are today.
It's okay to make mistakes or feel uncomfortable in social situations. Be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone experiences moments of awkwardness from time to time. Focus on learning and growing from each interaction rather than dwelling on perceived shortcomings.
If you're feeling particularly anxious about reconnecting with people, consider practicing social skills in low-pressure situations. Role-play conversations with a friend or family member, or join social groups or activities where you can gradually build confidence in interacting with others.
Remember that social interactions can be challenging for many people, and you're not alone in feeling this way. By approaching these situations with patience, honesty, and a willingness to learn, you can navigate them more comfortably over time.

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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |11 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Guru - Answered on Sep 15, 2024

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Dear Sir, i am an NRI, investing in mutual funds and stocks through NRO account for quite some time and i am planning to move to india approximately in another 2-3 years of time , given that NRO have high taxation, i just wanted to understand how to swiftly transfer mutual funds and taxes from nro account to indian resident account ? Appreciate if you could provide advice as well as SWP method ?
Ans: Dear Rudolf,
As an NRI planning to move back to India in 2-3 years, transitioning your investments from an NRO account to a resident account requires careful planning. First, once you become a resident, you need to convert your NRO account into a regular resident savings account. This involves contacting your bank, providing updated KYC details, and submitting proof of your new residency status in India. Additionally, you must inform mutual fund houses or registrars (like CAMS/Karvy) about your change in residential status by submitting a KYC modification form.
In terms of taxation, as an NRI, you are currently subject to higher taxes on your investments. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity funds are taxed at 10%, while short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 15%. For debt mutual funds, LTCG is taxed at 20% with indexation benefits, and STCG is taxed according to your income slab. Once you become a resident, the taxation on these investments will continue under resident tax laws, but any new gains after your status change will be taxed according to resident regulations.
To efficiently manage your investments, you can opt for a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP). This allows you to withdraw a fixed amount from your mutual funds regularly while keeping the rest invested. SWP is tax-efficient, as you only pay capital gains tax on the withdrawn portion. After becoming a resident, you can easily set up SWPs to your regular savings account for steady income, while the rest of your investments continue to grow.
So to conclude, it is essential to update your bank and mutual fund KYC details when you return to India to ensure regulatory compliance and take advantage of resident tax laws. SWP can provide regular income while managing taxes efficiently. You need to contact a professional Advisor or CA for managing all your assets.
Best regards,
Nitin Narkhede
Founder & MD, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub https://Nitinnarkhede.com
Free Webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |11 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Guru - Answered on Sep 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 14, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi Sir - I'm 35 years. Both myself and a better half are working with a monthly income of 3.65L together (2.8L mine + 85K wife's). We have a 5 year old male kid. We have a SBI max gain home loan account with a debt of 12.65L and a parked amount of 26.5L apart from the EMI paid so far from previous 5 years. No EMI on car purchased. EPF ~29L, PPF started for both of us an year back. Also started a monthly SIP of ~1.2-1.5L in MF from Jan'2024 with 8.5L balance so far and will continue the SIP in the below funds atleast for next 10 years. Not considering debt funds as I'm already having EPF and PPF components and will periodically review these funds. 1. Nifty next 50 Index, 2. Small Cap 250 Index, 3. Multi Cap, Active 4. Mid Cap, Active 5. Flexi Cap, Active Better half may quit her job by Mar'2025. We are looking to close home loan by March'2025 and stay EMI/debt free with a peace of mind. Is it a wise decision to close a home loan by this financial year and increase the monthly SIP to 2L from next financial year? Or) invest the home loan balance amount in real estate (preferably buying a land)? especially when the home loan interest of upto 3.5L are tax fee in the old tax regime. Thanks!
Ans: Dear Friend, Given your current financial standing, closing your home loan by March 2025 seems like a wise choice. You have Rs 26.5L parked in the SBI Max Gain account, which already reduces your interest liability. By clearing the remaining Rs 12.65L, you can become debt-free, providing peace of mind and freeing up your EMI payments for additional investments. While the home loan offers tax benefits under the old regime, the psychological comfort of being debt-free may outweigh the potential tax savings, especially since your financial portfolio is already strong.
Once the loan is closed, increasing your monthly SIPs to Rs 2L would be a smart move. Over the next 10 years, equity mutual funds, which historically offer returns of 10-12% annually, can significantly grow your wealth. Since you are already investing in a diversified portfolio of index, small-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds, increasing these investments aligns well with your long-term goals.
Investing in real estate, particularly land, can provide diversification. However, real estate is typically less liquid and the returns can be location-dependent. If you're confident in the property’s growth potential, this can be a good long-term investment. However, your existing strategy of focusing on equity mutual funds will likely offer better returns and flexibility, given your 10-year investment horizon.
So closing your home loan by March 2025 and redirecting the freed-up funds into increased SIPs appears to be the best route. It balances peace of mind, tax efficiency, and long-term wealth creation, while real estate can be considered for diversification if you find a promising opportunity.
There are many real estate opportunities like REIT or Partial ownership in commercial properties which can also yield between 14 to 22% overall return with about 5 to 8% monthly return and 10 to 12% of Growth in the Asset Value at end of tenure.
Investment is commodities like gold and silver can also yield a return of 8 to 10% with reducing the risk in one sector.
Diversification is the mantra, do not depend on only one or two type of investment avenues. Explore other options as well.

Best regards,
Nitin Narkhede
Founder & MD, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub https://Nitinnarkhede.com
Free Webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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Dr Karthiyayini

Dr Karthiyayini Mahadevan  |1065 Answers  |Ask -

General Physician - Answered on Sep 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 13, 2024Hindi
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Health
I am 75 + ....Around two months back I was diagnosed as dengue positive with platelet count at 75,000. with proper medication, platelet counts were increased to 2,05,000 and fever was subsided.However swellings on both arms and legs persisted.. Off late on my both solders i am suffering severe pain and enable to make any movement, i feel like inner vain of my both hands are getting stretched/pulled (right from my solder to the finger tips and swelling on both hands and legs are still there. My doctor says that it may continue for another two three months and proscribed me only pain killer tablets.Doctor says that there is no specific medicine for Dengue. I got thorough blood and urine test along with other test like scanning, x-ray etc. All the test reports are normal except slightly blood sugar (PP) on higher side and enlargement of prostate gland (which is there since last 10 years and i am on regular medicine (silodosin 8-mg, one tab a day) Kindly advise me with your good suggestions that what could be the cause of this problem and which expert doctor I should consult since it is very difficult situation for carrying out my routine activities and also I can't sleep properly due to severe pain. Thank you
Ans: Post viral illness can trigger different chain of immune reactions
They are mostly self limiting if your lifestyle is well disciplined.
Here are the points towards a healthy lifestyle
1.Early dinner by 6 pm and avoid animal protein and fat at dinner meal
2.Sleeping time to be regulated. Fix a specific time around 9/9.30 pm and unwind from the world particularly off media from 7 pm
3.Regular brisk walking 30 mts a day five days a week
4.Balanaced nutrition and avoid highly refined carbohydrates

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