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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1563 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 12, 2020

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
S Question by S on Nov 12, 2020Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu, I'm 39 years old. Ever since my childhood, I was always afraid of facing people. Was reading in front of class or reciting a poem, I always felt running away and avoiding it.

The problem further worsened as I grew up, as I started feeling difficult making friends. I get a feeling that people don't like me, and it’s evident whenever I'm part of a gathering usually people
ignore me.

Hence I tend to avoid interacting with people. I don't know how to handle this situation.

I don't have this issue while interacting with people whom I know, and am pretty confident with familiar people whom I interact with on day to day basis.

In front of people, or when I put on a spot I really feel awkward and anxious. The thought keeps on bothering me and I don't get sleep at times.

Please provide me suggestions/inputs on how I can get rid of this problem.

Ans: Dear S, You face what is called performance related stress as you are worried about failure and being embarrassed in front of a crowd.

Firstly, know why you are having to be in front of a crowd; office presentations, meetings and thinks like that. If it is necessary for your job and in life in general, let’s work at this.

Start watching videos of people who are orators, great speakers and who enthrall others on stage

Next, observe every movement of theirs and how they walk, talk, their voice etc.

Then, simply take on the same role imagining yourself to be them and do the same. Live this role. Try doing this many times over till it becomes second nature to you.

Finally, imagine a situation where you want to feel confident. And imagine doing your new learning from Step 3 and living it. Do this a couple of times till you think you are ready.

The next time, with the same situation, things should definitely go your way and you will be in charge for sure.

Be confident and happy new learning!

Anu Krishna is a Mind Coach, NLP Trainer, Zen Lifestyle Expert and has recently released her book The Secret of Life – Decoding Happiness.
She is also the Founder of Soulful Exploration LLP and Unfear Changemakers LLP.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1563 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 42 years old,done B.A and B.ED.I feel anxious whenever i sit with others.Even i can't share my feelings. I am a housewife. When i cook food i feel anxious whether others will like my food or not.Each work give me anxious moment. I am married and have a adopted male child.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What will happen if someone does not like your food?
What will happen if someone does not like something that you said or did?
What will happen if someone does not like you?
That's okay...we are all entitled to our opinions, aren't we? We like something and we dislike something, we like some people and dislike a few others.
So what?
You might have to learn to accept that a few people may not like you, like what you wear, like what you cook, like what you say...and that's fine...does that change anything about who you are? NO!
Then pull yourself up and step out of this zone where you spend time feeling anxious about things that are not within your control...Learn to live with a simple fact that you maybe serving food to a person who dislikes your food...expect a few comments from them, brush it aside, take a deep breath and move on to the next thing.
BUT
If the person genuinely means well and sharing their feedback with you, take it well as it goes a long way in your self-improvement...we are constantly learning, right?

Also, if there is something that you can do with your amazing qualifications, you will have less time to mull over these things. Use your time wisely...

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |560 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I sometimes avoid people, for no reason and I never approach others, this has led me to not know many people, what can I do to break this cycle? I want to know more people
Ans: It’s perfectly natural to feel hesitant about social interactions, and it’s great that you’re looking to change this pattern.

Start with small steps. Try brief interactions in your daily routine, like greeting a barista or chatting with a neighbor. These casual conversations can help build your confidence.

Find spaces where you already feel comfortable, such as your favorite café or a local park. Familiar environments make it easier to start conversations.

Engage in activities or groups that interest you. Shared hobbies or volunteer work can naturally connect you with like-minded people, providing easy conversation starters.

Be kind to yourself during this process. Recognize and celebrate each effort you make, no matter how small. Understanding your feelings about social situations can guide you in finding what works best for you.

Consider using online communities as a starting point. They can be less intimidating and can eventually lead to in-person interactions.

Leverage your existing network to meet new people. Attending events with friends or asking for introductions can make socializing feel more manageable.

If you find these steps challenging, seeking support from a coach or therapist can be helpful. They can offer tailored strategies and guidance to build your social confidence.

Remember, it’s okay to take things at your own pace. Each small step is progress.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4367 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 21, 2025

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Career
My son got 91 percentile in jee mains session 1, category- GEN EWS Is he eligible for jee advanced and which colleges can he get with this percentile
Ans: Aaditya Sir, He will be eligible for JEE Advanced. As far as the Colleges he will be eligible to get, here is, How to Predict Your Son's Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide

Once the January JEE Main session results was declared, many students and JEE applicants started asking common questions about eligibility for specific institutes (NITs, IIITs, GFTIs, etc.) based on their percentile, category, preferred branch, and home state.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your son's admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Son's Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile (Convert your percentile into All India Rank with the help of a formula available in Google).
Your son's category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If he is open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches your son is interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates Option also and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your son's expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your Son's admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8124 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 28, 2025Hindi
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Money
I have invested in NPS (60000 per year) & PPF (125000 per year) UTI Index funds (50000 per year) emergency funds (75000 per year) after excluding all my expenses i can save 10k more. Which mutual funds i should invest?
Ans: Your existing investments are well-structured across different asset classes.

You are contributing Rs. 60,000 annually to NPS, ensuring retirement security.

Your PPF contribution of Rs. 1,25,000 provides tax-free growth and stability.

Your emergency fund of Rs. 75,000 annually ensures financial security.

However, index fund investment needs reconsideration for better growth potential.

Limitations of Index Funds
Index funds only replicate market performance and do not offer active management benefits.

Actively managed funds have a chance to outperform benchmarks over time.

Professional fund managers adjust portfolios based on market trends.

Index funds provide no flexibility during market downturns.

Market-cap-weighted indices allocate more to overvalued stocks, increasing risk.

Maximizing the Additional Rs. 10,000 Savings
Your Rs. 10,000 monthly surplus can enhance long-term wealth creation.

Investing in actively managed funds can provide higher potential returns.

Diversifying into growth-oriented equity mutual funds can be beneficial.

Sectoral and thematic funds can be explored for strategic allocation.

Avoiding overlapping funds ensures better risk-adjusted returns.

Choosing the Right Mutual Funds
Flexi-Cap Funds
Suitable for long-term growth and diversification.

Fund managers allocate across large, mid, and small-cap stocks.

Adaptability to market conditions enhances return potential.

Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Funds
Higher risk but potential for superior returns over 10-15 years.

Ideal for investors with long investment horizons.

Helps in wealth accumulation with disciplined SIPs.

Focused Funds
Invest in a limited number of high-potential stocks.

Better risk-adjusted returns with concentrated allocation.

Suitable for investors who can handle market fluctuations.

Sectoral and Thematic Funds
Focus on industries like manufacturing, technology, or consumption.

Good for long-term investment based on economic trends.

Requires careful selection to align with market cycles.

Ensuring Tax Efficiency
Long-term capital gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.

Selecting funds with a long-term view minimizes tax impact.

Avoid frequent withdrawals to preserve compounding benefits.

Final Insights
Your financial planning is strong with disciplined investments.

Redirecting index fund investments to actively managed funds can improve growth.

Your additional Rs. 10,000 savings should be allocated strategically.

A mix of flexi-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and focused funds ensures diversification.

Reviewing your portfolio periodically ensures alignment with financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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