hi , I am a 40 year old man with 2 kids and wife , aged parents .Financially and health wise i am doing good and working in a reputed mnc. My relationship with parents , wife ,kids and siblings is in good spirits . however i am an introvert and don't have many friends .while i had friends in childhood and youth however they have moved in there life .i want to have an improved social life and also have joined a course to improve social skills and more strong relationship socially and at work . As course suggest to approach people , however i still don't approach/talk to people when opportunity is there .i also tried to have more positive attitude towards other people ..however still sometimes i start criticizing them in my mind...and sometimes i feel that approaching /talking may belittle me in front of them,,,, and talking /approaching opposite sex is even more difficult ... any suggestion to improve on this part and how i can improve my social life and get/find company of like minded people .

Ans: I assume you haven't started working and in that case, for starters become a Alumni Association member of your college.

In addition try reading this book.
How to Win Friends and Influence People is a 1936 self-help book written by Dale Carnegie. Over 30 million copies have been sold worldwide, making it one of the best-selling books of all time. Carnegie had been conducting business education courses in New York since 1912.

Ans: It’s perfectly natural to feel hesitant about social interactions, and it’s great that you’re looking to change this pattern.

Start with small steps. Try brief interactions in your daily routine, like greeting a barista or chatting with a neighbor. These casual conversations can help build your confidence.

Find spaces where you already feel comfortable, such as your favorite café or a local park. Familiar environments make it easier to start conversations.

Engage in activities or groups that interest you. Shared hobbies or volunteer work can naturally connect you with like-minded people, providing easy conversation starters.

Be kind to yourself during this process. Recognize and celebrate each effort you make, no matter how small. Understanding your feelings about social situations can guide you in finding what works best for you.

Consider using online communities as a starting point. They can be less intimidating and can eventually lead to in-person interactions.

Leverage your existing network to meet new people. Attending events with friends or asking for introductions can make socializing feel more manageable.

If you find these steps challenging, seeking support from a coach or therapist can be helpful. They can offer tailored strategies and guidance to build your social confidence.

Remember, it’s okay to take things at your own pace. Each small step is progress.

Ans: Dear Vivaansh,

Making female friends might seem daunting, especially for an introvert, but it is almost similar to making a male friend. All that matters is compatibility. You can try approaching girls in your college. Of course, if they seem interested too. Start with a hi. In case, they don't want to continue the conversation, please don't try to convince them.

You have another option- dating apps. They are not just for dating. You can make plenty of friends on dating apps. Write an engaging Bio. Write a little bit about yourself and the kind of friend that you are looking for to attract the right matches. Put a recent and clear picture as your display image. You can find like-minded people on these apps.

Try either option; it should work.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What we are uncomfortable with is what we must face and overcome.
Join Toastmasters Club (look up the Internet for more on this) or any public speaking clubs that will enable you to not just speak but build on your confidence. For growing your social circle, move around with people who share similar interests such as yours. Maybe hiking, trekking, painting...This will ensure that you have opportunities to not just meet people but also connect with them through sharing experiences and thoughts. Slowly, but surely...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Sunil,

No one is clear cut introvert or an extrovert, look at yourself closely too... in some circumstances you behave like an extrovert and some areas you behave like an introvert.

Be brave and say "hi" to people around you in the office, you be the first one to greet, this itself can be a starting point to making new friends. A smile and a pleasant "hi" is all it takes.
Look for opportunities to connect with ppl in the office, instead of sending mails or reminders to ppl electronically, just walk up to them and speak to them or call them up to say you have sent a mail/reminder. This way you can establish a human connect.
Also check if you can go to the dining area to eat lunch and during breaks.. do not sit at your desk and have lunch.
Social media and watching reels is a "big no" if you are yearning for human connections. I am glad you talk to your family...outside the office, join book clubs, singing clubs, drama clubs or anywhere your interest lies...you can join a classroom to learn and develop a new skill....

Also check if you are getting enough sleep, exercise, fresh air , sunshine during the day....focus on your diet too!!

Hope this helps... take care of yourself!