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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |190 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Mar 21, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Shalini, I am 41, working woman. I am a divorcee with 2 children, one is a teen. The last time I was in a serious relationship was two years ago. My children didn't approve of him so we had to break up. I recently bumped into him and it felt kinda good. Since then I have been wanting to check if we can get back together. But I am also concerned about my children's future. I am confused how to move forward. Any suggestions?

Ans: This is a delicate situation where you want to prioritize both your children and yourself. You might consider rekindling the friendship while maintaining separate households until the children are older and have left the nest. During this period, your friend needs to understand that while they are important, you have other priorities that require your attention. Wishing you the best.

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Anu Krishna  |1807 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2025Hindi
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I'm a 45-year-old divorced father of two amazing kids, ages 8 and 12. We live in Delhi. My children spend weekdays with their mother and weekends with me. After spending three years on my own, I recently met this girl who is wonderful. We've dated for over 8 months and she knows that I have a family. But every time I think about introducing her to my kids, this massive wave of guilt washes over me. I remember how hard my divorce was on them, and the thought of causing any more stress just crushes me. I want to know when is truly the right time to bring a new partner home? How do I do it in a way that protects my children's feelings?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you and you ex-wife are on good terms and good at co-parenting, she maybe willing to step in and help out with this new situation. But if you prefer to keep her out of it, then talk to the kids gradually introducing the idea of another woman in your life.
As you do this, reassure them that the new lady will not replace their mother or that the kids have no pressure of accepting her immediately.
You may face resistance initially, but take heart and work slowly at it with constant reassurance. Your kids will watch if you are changing in anyway or taking away their time, love and attention, so you might have to keep your weekends only for them so that they feel connected, loved and reassured by you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
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Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Archana Deshpande  |129 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Aug 03, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2026
Career
I met my ex at a school reunion. He is now divorced and has two daughters. I found him smoking. He had a bald patch but looked extremely fit. I had last met him in 2013 so our meeting was a bit awkward. I couldn't help staring back at him because i was curious to know what he was up to. We spoke briefly but I found myself being interested in his current life though I am married and we have a 11 year old son. While leaving, he said his number was still the same. I came back home and wondered if that was his way of telling me to call him and say in touch? We were married for 4 years before we decided to quit as I could not get along with his family. I never expected to see him again like this. I never thought I would want to know about his life so much. What is this feeling? What should I do?
Ans: Hi!!

There are always emotions involved when you meet your ex! It is but natural because of the time you have spent together and everything comes back once you meet that person again! Women being the nurturer , the way the nature made us, it is also very natural for you feel the need for keeping in touch because he is divorced!

You are married and you have a 11 yr old son( this is what I get when I read this message, I hope I am right). This is your present situation, you need to focus on them right now and not your past! Bless your ex from far… … in all the cases I have seen so far… getting involved with an ex has never ended well!!

Take care of yourself and your present in order to have an amazing future!!

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11371 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 09, 2026

Money
Sir I have nearly 35 MF scheme. I have 4 Manu facturing fund. Axis mau facturing fund.. Canara Robecco Manu. fund G(SIP2000) Invesco Manufacturing fund G(SIP 2000 PM ). ICICI Manufacturing fund G Advise how to cut down or exit and invest in other fund continuing only one preferably ICICI. Then I have following non performing Funds Axis consumption fund G regular Hdfc Multcap Fund G regular Hdfc Multcap 50/25/25Index fund Direct Hdfc Tech. Fund D Growth Hsbc India Export Indis export Opp. D Growth ICICI opp. Fund D Growth SUNDARAM mutiasst allocation fund R . G SIP TATA NIFTY AUTO INDEX FUNDNIFTY G DIR. TATA NIFTY IND. TOURISM INDEX FUND G DIR. Above mentioned funds not performing. Your advise whether to and reinvest in an alternative fund. Overlaping funds ICICI prudential energy opportunities fund D SIP GROWTH SBI ENERGY OPP. FUND D. GROWTH 2) FRANKLIN IND. FLEXI CAP FUND R G. 20 UNIT HDFC FLEXICAP FUND R. G. 25 UNIT ICICI PRUDENTIAL FLEXI CAP R. G 3000 Unit TATA mid cap fund R. G. 175 unit UTI MID CAP FUND R. G. 200 Unit HDFC MID CAP FUND R G 250 UNIT Request detailed scrutiny and how to minimise. Besides l have following funds performing well Aditya Birla Sun Life focused fund HDFC Defence fund HDFC PHARMA FUND HDFC TRANSPORTATION FUND HSBC VALUE FUND HSBC ELSS FUND ICICI PRU.PHRMA & HEALTHCARE FUND UTI NIFTY 500 VALUE INDEX FUND I am 82 years old. No liability . Other investments like PPF BANK FD GOLD ANCESTRAL LAND PM ANNUITY PLAN RENT 15 LAKH health insurance. Equities of 5 lakhs Expenses very basic. Would like to re invest. for better returns. Waiting for your early reply. Your 's sincerely ..... ... V. G. Nadig
Ans: You have built substantial financial assets and, importantly, you have no liabilities. At age 82, the priority should now be simplicity, safety, liquidity and reasonable growth. Having nearly 35 mutual fund schemes is unnecessarily high.

» First Priority

– Reduce the MF portfolio substantially.
– Avoid managing many sector and thematic funds.
– Avoid keeping funds only because they performed well recently.
– Keep a smaller number of diversified funds.
– Keep sufficient money in safer assets for your regular needs.

At your age, chasing maximum returns is not necessary.

» Manufacturing Funds

You currently have four manufacturing funds:

– Axis Manufacturing
– Canara Robeco Manufacturing
– Invesco Manufacturing
– ICICI Prudential Manufacturing

There is considerable overlap in this allocation.

I would not keep four manufacturing funds.

If you have a strong preference for the ICICI Prudential Manufacturing Fund, keeping one manufacturing fund can be considered.

The other three can be reviewed for exit and consolidation.

However, do not switch all four on one day blindly. Check capital gains and exit loads first.

» Funds You Mentioned As Non-Performing

You mentioned:

– Axis Consumption
– HDFC Multicap
– HDFC Multicap 50/25/25 Index
– HDFC Technology
– HSBC India Export Opportunities
– ICICI Prudential Opportunities
– Sundaram Multi Asset Allocation
– Tata Nifty Auto Index
– Tata Nifty India Tourism Index

I would not judge these funds only by recent returns.

Some are sector, thematic or index-oriented funds.

They can have long periods of underperformance.

For an 82-year-old investor, I would reduce such complexity.

The index-oriented funds especially do not need to be retained simply for diversification.

» Energy Fund Overlap

You have exposure to:

– ICICI Prudential Energy Opportunities
– SBI Energy Opportunities

There is no strong need to hold two funds in the same sector.

Keep only one if you want sector exposure.

But given your age, even this allocation should remain limited.

» Flexi Cap Overlap

You currently have:

– Franklin India Flexi Cap
– HDFC Flexi Cap
– ICICI Prudential Flexi Cap

This is another clear area for consolidation.

Three flexi-cap funds are unnecessary.

You can retain one suitable flexi-cap fund.

The remaining two can gradually be consolidated after checking taxation and exit loads.

» Mid Cap Overlap

You have:

– Tata Mid Cap
– UTI Mid Cap
– HDFC Mid Cap

Again, three funds are not required.

Keep one suitable mid-cap fund if your overall portfolio needs this exposure.

However, at age 82, I would not maintain a large mid-cap allocation.

This money can be more useful in diversified and relatively stable investments.

» Funds Performing Well

You mentioned:

– Aditya Birla Sun Life Focused
– HDFC Defence
– HDFC Pharma
– HDFC Transportation
– HSBC Value
– HSBC ELSS
– ICICI Prudential Pharma & Healthcare
– UTI Nifty 500 Value Index

Good past performance alone should not decide whether you retain them.

You have multiple sector and thematic exposures here too.

For example, you already have two healthcare-oriented funds.

Defence and transportation are also thematic exposures.

I would reduce the number of such specialised funds.

» A Better Portfolio Structure

Your portfolio can be simplified into a few clear roles:

– Core diversified equity allocation
– Limited mid-cap allocation
– Limited thematic allocation, if required
– Suitable conservative allocation
– Adequate cash and fixed-income allocation

You do not need 35 schemes to achieve diversification.

Around 5 to 7 carefully selected funds can be more than sufficient.

» Very Important At Age 82

Your investment objective should now be different from that of a 40-year-old investor.

Capital preservation is important.

Liquidity is also very important.

You should have enough safe money for several years of expenses.

Equity should mainly serve the purpose of long-term inflation protection.

Do not put money required for near-term expenses into equity.

» About Reinvesting After Exit

I would not immediately reinvest every redemption into another equity fund.

First identify how much money you need for:

– Regular expenses
– Medical requirements
– Family support
– Emergency needs
– Future personal requirements

The remaining long-term surplus can then be invested.

This approach will make your portfolio much safer and easier to manage.

» Your Other Assets

Your FD, PPF, gold, ancestral land, annuity income and rental income provide additional diversification.

Your basic expenses are also low.

This is a positive position.

Therefore, there is no need to take excessive equity risk for higher returns.

» How I Would Approach The 35 Funds

Do it in three stages.

First, identify sector and thematic duplication.

Second, identify overlapping diversified categories.

Third, consolidate the portfolio gradually.

Do not sell everything together.

Review taxation and exit loads before each redemption.

The money released should then be allocated according to your income and liquidity requirements.

» Final Insights

You have done well in building a large and diversified investment base.

The main issue now is not lack of diversification.

It is excessive diversification.

35 schemes can make monitoring difficult and may create hidden overlap.

I would aim for a much simpler portfolio.

Your manufacturing, energy, flexi-cap and mid-cap holdings are the first areas I would consolidate.

I would also reduce excessive thematic exposure.

At 82, stability and peace of mind should come before chasing the highest possible return.

A detailed scheme-wise review would be useful before redeeming anything. It should consider current value, purchase value, gains, taxation, SIP status and exit load for every scheme.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11371 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2026

Money
Dear Sir, I am 52 retired and worked in gulf for 20 years . Current financial status is as follows 1. FD in bank 1 Cr. 2. I own 2 flats . One I use for self and other one want to sell approx value 55 lakhs 3. Own a plot approx 75 lakhs 4. I have ULIP policy of 75 lakhs( 15 lakhs per year premium , 3 years paid, 30 lakhs to be paid, maturing in 2033) 5.10 lakh ULIP policy maturing in 2031 6. LIC policy 6 lakhs maturing in 2029 7. Term policy 1.5 cr ( premium all paid) 8. Heakth policy 60 lakhs for family 9. My child in 12th grade 10. No emi no loan 11 Emergency fund around 15 lakhs in bank My current monthly expense 50 to 60k per month. Could you please analyse my financial status and advice Regards,
Ans: You have built a strong financial base, especially with no loans and good liquidity. At age 52, the main focus should now be capital protection, regular income and your childs education.

» Overall Financial Position

– Your Rs.1 crore FD provides a strong safety base.
– You have around Rs.15 lakh separately for emergencies.
– Your second flat can provide additional capital if sold.
– The plot is another existing asset, but need not be increased.
– Your term insurance is already fully paid.
– Family health insurance provides important protection.
– Most importantly, you have no EMI or outstanding loan.

Overall, your financial position looks comfortable.

» Your Retirement Requirement

Your present expenses are around Rs.50,000 to Rs.60,000 monthly.

Since you are already retired, your investments should now generate stable income.

I would not put the entire Rs.1 crore FD into equity.

Instead, create a proper mix of:

– Safe fixed-income investments for near-term expenses.
– High-quality mutual funds for long-term growth.
– Adequate bank liquidity for emergencies.
– A separate education corpus for your child.

This can give you both stability and growth.

» Childs Education

Your child is already in 12th grade.

Therefore, this is your immediate financial priority.

Do not take high equity risk with money needed soon.

Keep the education requirement separately identified.

If a large amount is required for higher education, plan this before investing for long-term growth.

» ULIP Policies

This is the area I would review carefully.

You have a large ULIP with Rs.15 lakh annual premium. Three years are already paid, with Rs.30 lakh still payable.

You also have another Rs.10 lakh ULIP and an LIC policy.

At your present stage, these policies should not automatically be continued.

Ask for the following details for each policy:

– Current surrender value
– Maturity value
– Remaining premium
– Guaranteed benefits
– Fund value
– Applicable surrender charges
– Tax implications
– Actual expected return

The large ULIP needs particular attention because substantial premiums are still pending.

After comparing the benefits and surrender value, exiting unsuitable policies and redirecting money towards suitable mutual funds may be better.

Do this only after reviewing the exact policy terms.

» FD Management

Rs.1 crore in FD is a strong safety cushion.

But keeping the entire retirement corpus in FDs may reduce long-term growth.

Interest income is also taxable as per applicable rules.

Therefore, gradually creating a diversified portfolio can be considered.

Do not move the entire FD amount into equity at one time.

A phased approach is more suitable for a retired investor.

» Second Flat

You are considering selling the second flat for around Rs.55 lakh.

If there is no personal use for it, selling it can simplify your finances.

The proceeds can be allocated towards:

– Child education
– Retirement income
– Emergency reserves
– Long-term growth investments

I would not recommend buying another property with the sale proceeds.

» Plot

The plot can remain as an existing asset.

But I would not depend on its future appreciation for retirement planning.

If it is eventually sold, the proceeds can strengthen your financial portfolio.

» Mutual Fund Strategy

You have not mentioned any existing mutual fund corpus.

This is one area where you can gradually add a growth component.

At age 52, some equity exposure is still useful.

It can help your portfolio beat inflation over the long term.

But equity allocation should match your retirement income needs.

Avoid taking aggressive risks simply to generate higher returns.

» Monthly Income Planning

Your present spending is manageable compared with your financial assets.

Still, inflation will increase your monthly requirement over time.

So your portfolio should have two parts:

– A stable income bucket for regular expenses.
– A growth bucket for expenses many years later.

This structure can reduce the need to sell equity during market corrections.

» Insurance Review

Your health insurance is a good protection layer.

Continue reviewing the cover as medical costs increase.

Your fully paid term insurance is also useful for family protection.

Since you are retired, review whether the insurance still serves a specific family need.

Do not buy additional investment-linked insurance without a clear need.

» Emergency Fund

Your Rs.15 lakh emergency fund is quite healthy.

Keep this amount easily accessible.

Do not invest emergency money aggressively.

This provides peace of mind during unexpected situations.

» Important Tax Point

Before selling the flat, plot or ULIP, check the applicable tax impact.

Property transactions can create capital gains.

ULIP surrender or withdrawal can also have tax implications depending on policy conditions.

So calculate the post-tax amount before taking decisions.

» 360-Degree Action Plan

– First secure your childs immediate education requirement.
– Review all three insurance-linked investment policies.
– Decide whether the large ULIP should continue.
– Maintain adequate FD and emergency liquidity.
– Consider selling the unused flat if financially suitable.
– Do not add more property investments.
– Gradually build a diversified mutual fund portfolio.
– Keep retirement income and long-term growth separately.
– Review the entire portfolio at least once every year.

» Final Insights

Your financial position is stronger than it may initially appear.

You have substantial assets, no debt and manageable monthly expenses.

The main issue is not creating wealth aggressively now.

The bigger objective is managing your existing wealth efficiently.

Your ULIP portfolio deserves the most detailed review.

With proper restructuring, you can aim for stable retirement income while still allowing part of your money to grow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |8596 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2026

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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