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Pooja

Pooja Khera  | Answer  |Ask -

Life, Relationship Coach - Answered on Jan 16, 2023

Pooja Khera has a PGDM in human resources from Amity University and is a happiness and wellbeing coach certified by Yale University. She also has a master's degree in astrology and is a tarot card reader as well.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2023Hindi
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Hi Pooja My husband and I were going through a tough time during the lockdown and I got in touch with an old friend. Both of us are married and have a history with each other. We knew each other since we were young. We got involved physically and although we are mature adults, we do long for each other. But there are kids and much as we'd want to be together, we can't afford to take this relationship forward. We have limited our communication but it is getting harder by the day because we do love each other. Is this normal? What do you generally advice someone in a situation like this? How do we deal with this situation better?

Ans: Hi Anonymous. The very fact that you have fallen in love outside the marriage is a strong indicator that your marriage isn't fulfilling or a relationship that is giving you the love you deserve. You can wither choose to consult a professional relationship/ marriage coach to help you rebuild the marriage or you would need to take a decision to move out of it. Staying in the marriage only because of your kids is doing injustice to them as well as children see and understand they are living with unhappy parents and they will eventually tell you not to. If you feel that you and your friend truly love each other, then have an honest discussion about next steps and if you are both ready to take it forward. There is nothing abnormal about falling in love with another person but where do you want to take the relationship to is a choice you will need to make, sooner or later.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |420 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello there Ravi, I am married with one teenager son. My hubby has a hi profile job. About a year ago, I became friends with a married man and we connected really well and it was a great friendship we had. About half a year ago that we decided to disconnect with each other mutually. It was just a very simple but amazingly thick friendship. And all the more reason to part ways. Even though so much time has passed, there are some memories that I cannot erase and I find that we still look out for each other too. He left a huge impact on me and even though am able to move on from him majorly, I still crash into him ( we don’t talk now) or his family and the memories of our friendship comes back to me. Earlier I used to shed a tear daily on losing him as a friend now I don’t though but since he’s always around I find it difficult to forget him fully.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand it's difficult to lose a friend. Friendships are important and it is not uncommon to have lingering feelings even if he was just a friend. It happens with most deep friendships. However, right now it is essential to prioritize your current relationships and commitments, including your marriage and family and most importantly, yourself.

I suggest you focus on the present and be grateful for the friendship you experienced. Remind yourself of the reason you decided to sever ties; it must have been important to be worth losing a great friend. Engage in self-care. Find new friends. Not all friendships will be thick but having friends is essential to live a healthy life.

Remember, it takes time to move on, even if it is from a friendship. Allow yourself that time. There is no need to rush through the process. If you find these feelings persisting, seeing a counselor can help you get through it in a more structured way. Nevertheless, you are doing great yourself!

Best Wishes.

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Latest Questions
Archana

Archana Deshpande  |74 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi
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Career
I am 21. I am a chronic overthinker. I am always thinking about what other people think about me or overanalysing situations and making things complicated. Is this a serious problem? What should I do?
Ans: Dear overthinker,

Thinking is a good trait to have, overthinking is not.

You literally have to STOP overthinking!!!

One way to overcome this is to stop thinking and become more action oriented. STOP analyzing everything in the head, put it on paper, there is something calming about putting thoughts on paper, writing them down with a pen and paper.
And then taking actions based on what you have written and no more thinking about it.

Indulge in physical activity, play a game which is more action oriented , this teaches you to be fully present in the moment, which helps you in being in the moment. Being fully present in the moment is what gets you out of overthinking.
Do meditate , I really can't enumerate all the benefits of meditation, what meditation does to people is beyond words.

There is a book called as, STOP OVERTHINKING by Nick Trenton, this book offers practical advice and exercises to help you break free from negative thoughts and worries. It provides evidence-based methods to combat overthinking and anxiety.

Another amazing book by Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of NOW", can help you.

There is no problem which can't be overcome, believe in yourself, you are more powerful than you think, the body and mind have to listen to you!!
What you think so you become, feed yourself the right thoughts and let the magic unfold.!!

All the best!!

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |74 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi
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Career
My manager is constantly manipulating his boss about me. Everyone in my team is aware that she is increasingly insecure about my success and feels threatened by me. She often gives incorrect and incomplete feedback due to which my manager feels that my manager is more efficient than I am. In the past, 4 people have quit or been foced to resign due to these politics. Should I also quit and move to another company or should I talk to the manager about this? Pls help
Ans: Hi!!

When I was working in the corporate world, the oft repeated quote was, "people don't leave the company ,they leave bad bosses".
Your manager's boss is your super boss, rt? Can't you go and speak to him directly and put your concerns across?
I am sure the HR must have noticed that people are quitting and might have explored the reasons why they are doing so too, do check with them.
I fail to understand why women should not cooperate with each other. You can also explore the option of talking directly to the manager and telling her if your actions in any way have caused some misunderstanding and if she says yes then you are willing to clear them. Also tell her that you are not eyeing her post and you are just trying to do your job well. I did the same with one of my bosses, it worked for me, we became the best of friends, we are still in touch. You need to think which is your best option and choose one from all the possible solutions I have mentioned. You can always quit, that's the last option I feel..

Hoping you choose wisely..All the very best!!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3911 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

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Career
my son is 8 year old studying in Class 3 . The classes occus is in morning shift from 6.30 am to 1.30 PM . after comming from the scholl he tired and not able to study in night . plz suggest the Correct time table for the second shift school child so that we can manage his tiredness and keep improving him in balanced way.
Ans: Priya Madam,

You have not provided information regarding the number of hours your son sleeps.

(1) Given that your son is only 8 years old, it is important to ensure he gets a minimum of 8 hours of sleep at night and 2 hours in the afternoon. Sleeping hours can be reduced once he enters the 6th Standard.

(2) Ensure he receives a balanced diet and nutritious food to sustain his energy levels. (3) Encourage him to maintain regular water intake to prevent dehydration. (4) Facilitate opportunities for him to take regular breaks and engage in play. (5) A 3rd standard student can't study for extended periods. He should study for 25 to 30 minutes, followed by a 10 to 15-minute break after each 25-minute study session.

(6) I am providing this information for general awareness. Parents should refrain from physically assaulting their children to achieve compliance, as this can undermine their self-confidence. (7) They should engage in more polite and loving communication with the children. (8) Children frequently observe their parents and tend to emulate their actions. Ensure that the environment at home is tranquil. (9) Addiction to electronic gadgets may also result in fatigue. (10) Regarding the Study Planner, it has been previously stated that regardless of whether he studies in the morning or evening, he should engage in study sessions of 25 minutes followed by a 10-minute break after each session. He will not experience fatigue, and the output will be increased. Hope, this answer will help you, Madam.

All the BEST for Your Prosperous Son's Future.

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