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Is it okay to date again after being divorced for 8 years with 2 kids?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |566 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
SHRIDEVI Question by SHRIDEVI on Feb 06, 2025Hindi
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Hi. I got divorced from my husband from last 8 years having 2 children's, now I get in relationship is it possible. Is

Ans: Dear ShriDevi,Yes, it is absolutely possible to be in a relationship again. Having been divorced for eight years and raising two children, you have likely experienced personal growth, resilience, and a deep understanding of what you want from a partner. Love and companionship are not limited by past experiences, and you deserve happiness just as much as anyone else.

What matters most is whether this new relationship brings you joy, respect, and emotional support. If you feel comfortable, secure, and valued in it, then there’s no reason to hold back because of your past. However, since you have children, it’s also important to consider how this relationship fits into their lives. Take your time, ensure that the person you’re with is understanding of your responsibilities, and communicate openly about your expectations.

Most importantly, don’t let societal opinions or self-doubt make you feel that you don’t deserve love again. You do. If this relationship feels right, allow yourself to embrace it with confidence and happiness.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2024

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HI MY NAME SRINITHI AM DIVORCE PERSON I HAVE ONE D/O 9 YR OLD .. AM STAY WITH SINGLE BUT MY MIND CHANGED . I NEED MARRIAGE FOR MIND
Ans: Hello Srinithi, it's understandable that your feelings and priorities can change over time. If you're considering marriage again for companionship and emotional fulfillment, here are some suggestions to navigate this process:

Reflect on Your Needs:

Take some time to reflect on what you're looking for in a partner and in a marriage. Consider your values, priorities, and the qualities you find important in a potential spouse.
Communicate with Your Child:

If you haven't already, have an open and honest conversation with your 9-year-old daughter about your feelings and intentions. Ensure she feels comfortable and secure with the idea of you entering into a new relationship.
Build a Support System:

Reach out to friends, family, or a support group who can provide emotional support and guidance as you navigate the process of seeking a new relationship.
Take It Slow:

When you feel ready to explore the possibility of a new relationship, take things at a comfortable pace. Get to know potential partners gradually and allow relationships to develop naturally.
Be Honest About Your Past:

When entering into a new relationship, be open and honest about your past, including your divorce. Clear communication is crucial for building trust and understanding.
Consider Professional Support:

If you find it challenging to navigate these emotions on your own, consider seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist who can help you explore your feelings and guide you through the process.
Set Boundaries:

Clearly define your boundaries and priorities in a new relationship. Understand what you're looking for and what you're willing to compromise on. This will help you make decisions that align with your values.
Stay True to Yourself:

Remember to stay true to your own needs and desires. Don't feel pressured to enter into a new relationship unless it feels right for you.
It's important to prioritize your well-being and the well-being of your child as you consider a new chapter in your life. Taking things step by step, being open in communication, and seeking support can help you navigate this journey more smoothly.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |566 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 29, 2024

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Hi I am 44 years old and divorced twice. I have married second time due to family pressure and emotionally, but the same has not been succeed because I was in love with my first spouse and our daughter. I have completed all legal formalities for the same and there is not any legal binding with anyone. I have one daughter who is 15 years old with my first spouse. After long time I realised that I am in love with my first spouse and my daughter. I never seen to my first spouse after divorce since 2009. But I used to go and meet my Daughter on her Birthday to wish with the permission of inlaws. They respect my Father and Sister. I got divorced from my first spouse due to my mistakes which have done unknowingly in 2008. I have written letter to my first spouse and my daughter to ask for sincere apology.Also they knows about my second marriage and divorce also. I am staying alone and my question is whether we will succeed if my first spouse will agree to reunite again with my daughter. Also need some tips to stay happily with them. I have never seen to my spouse after divorce but only mate to my daughter but still I love her. Also give Tips for how can I convince to my first spouse for reunite. My desire will fulfill if we reunite again. Need your advice . Thanks
Ans: Hello Mahendra,
I can sense the depth of your emotions and the genuine desire to reconnect with your first spouse and daughter. It's clear that you’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on your past and understanding where things went wrong. This self-awareness is a crucial first step towards any meaningful reconciliation.

Rebuilding a relationship after many years is a delicate process. It involves not only rekindling the love and connection you once shared but also addressing and healing the past wounds. Given that you haven't seen your first spouse since the divorce, it’s essential to approach this situation with patience, empathy, and a deep respect for her feelings and boundaries.

Start by opening a line of communication. A heartfelt letter or message can be a good way to express your thoughts and feelings without overwhelming her. Share your reflections on the past, your realizations about your mistakes, and how you’ve grown as a person. Let her know how much you value the possibility of reconnecting, not just for yourself but for your daughter’s sake as well.

When you write or speak to her, be prepared to listen as much as you talk. She may have her own perspectives and feelings about the past that need to be heard. Respect her space and her process; reconciliation is a journey that you both must navigate together, at a pace comfortable for both of you.

In your interactions with your daughter, continue to show her your love and commitment. Build on the moments you’ve shared and let her see the positive changes in you. Your consistent presence and genuine efforts will speak volumes.

If your spouse is open to it, consider suggesting professional support, like family counseling, to help navigate this complex process. It can provide a safe space to address old wounds and rebuild trust.

Remember, the path to reconciliation is rarely straightforward. It will require patience, understanding, and a willingness to work through the challenges together. By showing your commitment to change and your deep love for your family, you create the foundation for a potentially beautiful new chapter in your lives.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |566 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 28, 2024

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Hi I am 41 years old and divorced twice. I have married second time due to family pressure and emotionally, but the same has not been succeed because I was in love with my first spouse and our daughter. I have completed all legal formalities for the same and there is not any legal binding with anyone. I have one daughter who is 15 years old with my first spouse. After long time I realised that I am in love with my first spouse and my daughter. I never seen to my first spouse after divorce since 2009. But I used to go and meet my Daughter on her Birthday to wish with the permission of inlaws. They respect my Father and Sister. I got divorced from my first spouse due to my mistakes which have done unknowingly in 2008. I have written letter to my first spouse and my daughter to ask for sincere apology. Also they knows about my second marriage and divorce also. I am staying alone and my question is whether we will succeed if my first spouse will agree to reunite again with my daughter. Also need some tips to stay happily with them. My desire will fulfill if we reunite again. Need your advice . Thanks
Ans: Reconnecting with your first spouse and daughter after such a long time is a deeply emotional journey, and it's understandable that you're feeling a mix of hope and anxiety about the future. Given the history you’ve shared, it’s clear that your intentions are sincere, and you’ve done a lot of reflecting on your past mistakes. Here’s how you might approach this situation as you seek to rebuild your relationship.

First, it's crucial to approach your first spouse with patience and understanding. It’s been many years since you were last together, and while your feelings of love have resurfaced strongly, her emotions may be more complex. She might need time to process your apology and the idea of reuniting. This process could take time, so it’s important not to rush her or pressure her into making a decision quickly. Rebuilding trust, especially after a long separation, is a gradual process.

Your relationship with your daughter is also central to this. Since you've made the effort to maintain a connection by visiting her on her birthdays, that’s a positive foundation. However, your daughter is now a teenager, and her feelings about you reuniting with her mother could be complicated. It might be helpful to have open and honest conversations with her, letting her know how much you care about her and her mother, but also respecting her feelings and concerns.

If your first spouse is open to the idea of reuniting, it will be important to acknowledge the mistakes you made in the past and show that you’ve grown from those experiences. Demonstrating your commitment to change and being a better partner and father will be key to winning back her trust. Actions will speak louder than words, so be consistent in showing her that you’re serious about making things work this time.

As for staying happy together if you do reunite, communication and mutual respect are essential. Be open about your feelings, listen to hers, and be willing to work through challenges together. Relationships require effort from both sides, and it's important to approach this with a mindset of partnership rather than trying to “fix” things alone.

Remember, it’s possible to rebuild and even strengthen relationships after hardship, but it requires time, patience, and a genuine commitment to making it work. Your desire to reunite with your first spouse and daughter is deeply meaningful, and with care and dedication, you have a chance to create a new chapter together.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4373 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 23, 2025

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Hi My daughter is studying in Cambridge syllabus and have chosen A levels in physics, chemistry, and biology along with economics. I would like to know the qualifying requirements for getting into Indian universities in core science and biosciences streams
Ans: Shalini Madam, Cambridge International A Levels are widely recognized by Indian universities for undergraduate admissions in core science and biosciences streams. The Association of Indian Universities (AIU) has granted equivalence to Cambridge International AS & A Levels, recognizing them as equivalent to Indian senior secondary qualifications. Eligibility criteria include subject requirements, number of A Levels, and additional considerations such as entrance exams, university-specific tests, and equivalency certificates.

Some Indian universities mandate entrance exams, such as CUET-UG for Central & State Universities, NEET for medical and related courses, and some institutions conduct their own entrance exams. Some universities may request an equivalency certificate from the AIU to validate the comparability of Cambridge qualifications to Indian standards.

To ensure eligibility, it is recommended to consult with admissions offices of targeted universities, prepare for entrance exams, and ensure all necessary documents are prepared and submitted according to university guidelines. By proactively engaging with the admissions processes and understanding specific requirements, your daughter can effectively navigate her path to securing admission in her chosen field of study in India. All the best for your Daughter's Bright Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4373 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 23, 2025

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I got 90.87 percentile in JEE mains 2025 . I belong to obc ncl category and I am a male. Which nit or iiit can I get in csab round??
Ans: Pushkar, here is, How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide

Once the January JEE Main session results was declared, many students and JEE applicants started asking common questions about eligibility for specific institutes (NITs, IIITs, GFTIs, etc.) based on their percentile, category, preferred branch, and home state.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile (Convert your percentile into All India Rank with the help of a formula available in Google).
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates Option also and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

When & if time permits, Watch 180+ EduJob360 YouTube Videos to Know More on ' Jobs | Education | Careers'

IMPORTANT: It is suggested to have 3-4 other Engineering Entrance Exams as back-ups instead of relying only on JEE.

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4373 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 23, 2025

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Career
sir my son got 91.56 percentile in jee main 2025 jan in sc category from home state Tamilnadu which nit he get in cs, ece, mechanical
Ans: Punitha Madam, here is, How to Predict Your Son's Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide

Once the January JEE Main session results was declared, many students and JEE applicants started asking common questions about eligibility for specific institutes (NITs, IIITs, GFTIs, etc.) based on their percentile, category, preferred branch, and home state.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Son's Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile (Convert your son's percentile into All India Rank with the help of a formula available in Google).
Your Son's category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If your son is open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Son's Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches your son is interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch your son is interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates Option also and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Watch 180+ EduJob360 YouTube Videos to Know More on ' Jobs | Education | Careers'

IMPORTANT: It is suggested to have 3-4 other Engineering Entrance Exams as back-ups instead of relying only on JEE.

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your Son's admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

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