Hi..I just saw your page and found this is the right page where I can get answer.. I am so confused and so my thoughts coming in my mind and noone in my life which I can tell. However, I found you hopefully you'll get my answer I want to marry with my partner but he is not earning as much and I'm also earning but we both started our career in 2023. And my parents wants I should get Marry with someone and he is searching. But I told my parents that I love someone but the issue is he is not from my caste that is not the big issue main issue is that my partner belongs from very nuclear family like his mother and sister is there and noone is there in his family and my parents also saying the boy is not earning a good salary and noone is there in his family how will you be happy and I don't think so he is good for you.. but my partner loves me so much he loves me till 6 years and he waited for me also. My question is that for getting a married is all this stuff matters ? My parents is arising so many questions somehow she denied..should I convince to my parents or they are saying right ??

Ans: it's important to prioritize the safety and well-being of yourself and your family. No one should have to endure abuse or false accusations, especially within their own family. It's commendable that your husband is supportive and willing to prioritize your mental peace, even if it means leaving behind his family.

In such toxic and volatile situations, it may be necessary to distance yourselves from the negative influences and create boundaries to protect your mental and emotional health. Moving away from the family home was a positive step, and it's important to continue prioritizing your own well-being and that of your son.

Communication between you and your husband is key during this time. Lean on each other for support, and continue to have open and honest conversations about your feelings, concerns, and plans for the future. Together, you can navigate through this challenging time and make decisions that are in the best interest of your family's happiness and safety.

It's also important to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who can offer guidance, empathy, and perspective during this difficult time. You don't have to face these challenges alone, and reaching out for support can provide valuable emotional support and validation.

Lastly, remember to prioritize self-care for yourself and your son. Take time to engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and ensure that your son feels loved and supported during this transition. Children can be sensitive to family dynamics, so providing a stable and nurturing environment is crucial for his emotional well-being.

Overall, it's important to remember that you deserve to be in a safe and supportive environment, free from abuse and false accusations. It may be a difficult journey, but by prioritizing your own well-being and making decisions that are in the best interest of your family, you can navigate through this challenging time and emerge stronger and happier in the end.

Ans: it's important to acknowledge and validate your feelings. It's natural to feel upset, disappointed, and even depressed when facing such circumstances. Allow yourself to feel those emotions and give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the future you envisioned with your partner.

However, it's also important to recognize that you deserve to be in a relationship where your needs and desires are valued and respected. If marriage is important to you and your partner is unwilling to commit to that, it may be a sign of fundamental differences in your priorities and goals. In such cases, it's essential to have open and honest communication with your partner about your feelings and needs.

Express to your partner why marriage is important to you and listen to their perspective as well. However, if you find that you're unable to reach a compromise or if your partner remains unwilling to reconsider their stance, you may need to reassess the relationship and consider whether it's ultimately fulfilling and healthy for you.

Moving on from a relationship can indeed be incredibly challenging, but it's important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can offer understanding and empathy during this difficult time. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and help you navigate through your emotions.

Remember that while it may feel overwhelming now, with time and self-care, you will be able to heal and move forward toward a brighter future. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and fulfilled, and it's okay to take steps to pursue that happiness, even if it means letting go of something that's no longer serving you.

Ans: First and foremost, it's crucial to recognize that your feelings are valid. It's natural to want love and support from your parents, especially after all you've done for them. It's not wrong to expect unconditional love from your family; however, sometimes, unfortunately, families can be complex and dysfunctional, and our expectations may not always be met.

Drawing boundaries and prioritizing your mental health and well-being is a positive step. It's essential to protect yourself from toxic relationships and environments, even if it means distancing yourself from certain family members. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and loved ones, like your son and husband, is vital for your emotional health.

Regarding your parents, it's clear that their behavior is hurtful and unjust. It's understandable that you would feel hurt and resentful toward them, given their favoritism towards your brother and lack of appreciation
for your sacrifices and care. However, it's also essential to recognize that you cannot control their actions or attitudes. You can only control how you respond to them.

While it's challenging, try to approach conversations with your parents from a place of empathy and understanding. Express your feelings calmly and assertively, focusing on how their actions make you feel rather than blaming them. It's possible that they may not even realize the extent of the hurt they're causing you. However, it's also essential to set realistic expectations. If your parents continue to be unsupportive or dismissive, it may be necessary to limit your interactions with them for the sake of your own well-being.

Remember to prioritize self-care and seek support from a therapist or counselor if you're struggling with your mental health. It's okay to seek professional help to navigate through these difficult emotions and experiences. You deserve love, respect, and validation, and it's essential to surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.

Lastly, continue to cherish the love and bond you have with your son and husband. They are your pillars of support, and together, you can navigate through these challenges. You're stronger than you realize, and you have the power to create a fulfilling and loving life for yourself, regardless of the negativity from others.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough patch. Sometimes parents make decisions on our behalf without understanding what it is that we want; that doesn't necessarily mean that our parents are selfish. More often than not, they do it with our best intentions in mind. You might be misunderstanding your parents wanting to show off a rich son-in-law. It is possible that they want you to have an easy life. Having said that, it is also important that your feelings be taken into consideration. You have been with your partner for five years and that is a significant amount of time. I suggest you try to reason with your parents. You can try bringing them all together and ask both your parents and your boyfriend's parents to talk it out. If there is clear communication, nothing will be left to assumptions. Next, keep on mentioning all the positive things about your partner. Try to etch that in your parents' mind. Third, if you are not working, I suggest you start looking for a job. Regardless of your parents', husband's, and his family's financial conditions, you should have financial freedom. You can also contribute to building a better life for yourself and your family.
I am sure your boyfriend and his family are amazing; you have spent five years with him and that should give you a fair idea. But just a gentle reminder, no one can be sure of someone's true nature till they start living together. I am not insinuating that your relatives are right about badmouthing your partner's family; all I am suggesting is that you look into it a bit more thoroughly. Marriage is indeed a big decision and rushing into it would be foolish.
And one more thing, it's just a phase. Tough times don't last forever.

Best Wishes!

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Ans: Hi Ram,

It's great to see that you've started investing systematically towards your long-term financial goals. Here's a review of your current SIP investments:

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Regular Growth: This fund follows a diversified approach across various market caps and geographical regions, which can provide stability to your portfolio. It's suitable for long-term wealth creation.
Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund Growth: Small-cap funds can be volatile in the short term but have the potential to offer high returns over the long term. Ensure you're comfortable with the risk associated with small-cap investments.
HDFC Retirement Savings Fund Equity Growth: This fund is designed to provide wealth accumulation for retirement. It's aligned with your long-term investment horizon and retirement goal.
NPS: The National Pension System (NPS) is a retirement-focused investment option offering tax benefits. It's prudent to contribute to NPS alongside other investments for retirement planning.
To achieve your target corpus of 2.5-3.0 Cr over 18 years, consider periodically reviewing your SIP contributions and adjusting them based on changes in your income, expenses, and market conditions. Additionally, diversify across asset classes to manage risk effectively.

As your financial goals evolve, consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure your investment strategy remains aligned with your objectives.

Ans: For a short-term investment horizon of 28 months, it's important to prioritize stability and minimize risk. Consider mutual funds that focus on debt instruments or conservative equity strategies. Debt funds like short-term debt funds or ultra-short duration funds can be suitable for short-term goals as they provide relatively stable returns with lower volatility compared to equity funds.

Additionally, you may explore conservative hybrid funds that invest in a mix of debt and equity securities, with a larger allocation towards debt instruments. These funds aim to provide capital preservation while offering some potential for growth.

Before investing, ensure to assess the fund's past performance, expense ratio, and investment strategy to align with your risk tolerance and investment objectives. It's advisable to consult with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice based on your specific financial situation and goals.

Ans: Hello Sanjeev,

Your investment portfolio appears to be diversified with a mix of mutual funds, insurance, and other instruments. Diversification is key to managing risk and potentially achieving better returns over the long term. However, it's essential to periodically review and rebalance your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Consider assessing the performance of each mutual fund regularly and comparing it with benchmark indices and peer funds. If any fund consistently underperforms or if your investment goals change, you may consider reshuffling your investments.

Additionally, continue contributing to instruments like PPF and NPS, as they offer tax benefits and long-term wealth accumulation opportunities. Remember, investing is a journey, and staying disciplined while focusing on your goals will increase your chances of achieving financial success.

Ans: For a 1 lakh rupee investment in an open-ended mutual fund, it's essential to consider factors like investment goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. Here are a few options across different categories:

Large Cap Funds: These funds invest in well-established companies with stable earnings. They offer relatively lower risk compared to mid and small-cap funds.
Multi-Cap Funds: These funds invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks, providing diversification and the potential for higher returns.
Balanced Funds: These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt instruments, offering a balance between risk and return.
Index Funds: These funds passively track a market index like the Nifty or Sensex, offering low-cost exposure to the broader market.
Tax-Saving (ELSS) Funds: These funds offer tax benefits under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act along with the potential for capital appreciation.
Ensure to assess your relative's investment objectives, risk tolerance, and investment horizon before making any investment decisions. Additionally, consulting with a financial advisor or mutual fund expert can provide personalized recommendations tailored to their specific needs and goals.