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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Mam i am in relationship for 9 years now..he became my boyfriend when i shifted in my new house he was my neighbour..i was in 10th when i got caught and since then my parents hate my boyfriend , i apologized to my parents then and said to have no contact with my boyfriend but 9 years down the lane ..we are totally connected and living a peaceful healthy relationship..my parents hate my boyfriend and his family to the core..my relationship with ny parents are.mixed someday they will be super nice to me , another day they will abuse me for evn small things..we have ups and down in our relationship but i love them a lott , i want to care of them in their old age..but at this point i want to talk to them about my boyfriend but seeinng that they hate him so much i am literally very very afraid that my parents will hate me to their core knowing about someone i want to marry whoom they hate soo much ..... i don't know how will they react .. i am been through physcial and verbal abuse earlier too but i don't know how much worse it can get this time..for them the girl who marry their parents choice is the best in the world..my boyfriend and i have no caste issue its just the ego issues with my parents they think karrying into that house they will never able to have good enough respect though my mother and his mother talk..but that too my mother bitch a lott about her mother for even nonsensical things..i am 24 now and preparing for government exam ...i am soo much stress knowing i have to choose between my love or my parents.....i think so even if i marry him with their superficail consent they will never be happy woth me..and can even cut contacts with me...i don't know what to do i have no elder in my house to make parents explain...mam plss show me some path

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No where have you mentioned what your boyfriend does for a living? Could this be the reason that your parents refuse to acknowledge your relationship?
Parents want the best for their children but at times their own beliefs on love marriages etc can come in the way. Since you are an adult, it is time to actually start acting like one. My suggestion is to have a conversation with them and understand the reason for their refusal to accept your boyfriend. If it is one of society and family objection, then you know how to handle it BUT if their concern is more about his character or his job, you both need to make an effort to take away that concern so that they accept all this wholeheartedly.
Find the reason and things will become clearer as to how you must handle the situation.

All the best!
Asked on - Apr 27, 2024 | Answered on Apr 29, 2024
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Mam he is software enginneer getting handsome salary...the prblm is the ego issue....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As mentioned in my previous response:
My suggestion is to have a conversation with them (your parents) and understand the reason for their refusal to accept your boyfriend. If it is one of society and family objection, then you know how to handle it.
What is EGO?
It's nothing but each one defending their thoughts against the other person/s. In fact, you are also doing the same when you defend your boyfriend and perhaps find your parents unfair. Ego on both sides will only add to stress and the best way out of this is to actually TALK it out. And if that does not happen, well tough call then...

Find the reason for your parents' non-acceptance and things will become clearer as to how you must handle the situation.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 19, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ma’am, My parents are not agreeing for my marriage with an intercaste marriage and this is not the first intercaste marriage one of cousin tried convincing their parents for 5 yrs but eventually gave up and opted for court marriage today they are very happy even their parents has also accepted the marriage. In my case , my parents are mocking me for my feelings and emotionally abusing me and have crossed all their limits. They know my boyfriend from class 10th and their family too but the only issue is with then what others will say . My mother called my boyfriend and kept on saying leave me alone and in return my boyfriend said aunty I know this is the big thing we will not take any drastic step and without your approval we will not get married and I’m willing to wait for your daughter even if it is waiting for for 5-6 yrs . We both are doing pretty good in our career we both have been so focused with out life. But after this call she kept on saying he’s very manipulative as he did not disrespect my mother and as a result of this my mother and father kept on harassing me by saying ill and foul words to me. They are so lost in their ego that I am suffering from 104 degree fever and they are ignoring this fact kept on saying foul words to me. My mother day and night she’s entering my room is saying Every second I’m giving you baddua ( wishing something bad happen to me) . I put forth my point but they are not in state of listening and somewhere very unhappy that I’m not financially dependent on them so they are keep bashing my job. I have stopped talking to them regarding this topic and just having very minimal conversation with them and I’m not misbehaving with them for this also they are scolding me they want to act normally and come sit with them.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Inter-faith marriages are still unaccepted in many societies and the challenges that come with it are not just with family acceptance but adapting and adjusting to different cultures, tastes etc...
Yes, on the one hand, love does not have any boundaries BUT massive changes in society have still not taken place to accept inter-faith marriages and your parents also belong to that very same society that hinders more than supports.
It has come down to a choice for you now!
Family or your Love?
If you choose Family, all will be well except you and your boyfriend. It will be giving up what you dreamed of together.
If you choose Love, you can of course live life on your terms but your family may vow to never see you again (it seems evident from all the vibes at your home).
Since, you are financially independent, you are in a better position to decide BUT it is going to be a decision that will leave someone unhappy. Who that is going to be and whether you can harden yourself with it is the question!
Now, Family and Love can go hand in hand only when both integrate which means an uphill task for both sides to negotiate, navigate and live in harmony. If this can be achieved by some neutral person bringing both sides together, please attempt this first before making a final decision. But make the choice soon, so there is a resolution either way.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam, actually I am having a trouble in my relationship. Me and my partner are from different castes but we love each other. Due to the fear of my parents I told him some days back that my parents will never agree for our marriage as he is one year younger than me, he is from different caste and we both are in the final stage of our professional course and have not gone for job yet. But we are unable to leave each other and keep on crying. Now I am thinking of talking about this to my parents once my exams are over in a couple of months because I'm already 24 and they will start looking for alliance for me. But my partner is like there's no problem on his side but he doesn't want me to hurt and ruin relationship with my parents due to this disclosure and says that its never going to happen with heavy emotions and teary eyes. I am also unable to control my emotions and tears. Please advise me on what to do please mam....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, your partner is being kind and thinking for you and your relationship with your parents. It is a nice trait to have to be empathetic but it may cost him the relationship. And he has taken this stance only because you have talked him about how fearful you are of your parents.
I guess instead of giving up like this, why don't the two of you sit down as adults and discuss how to talk to your parents and make this happen. When you act against what society and family set as norms, you should have expected something to go against the fairy tale event, right?
Since you did not set this tone in mind, now it's about taking the bull by the horns and finding what's the best solution. Why give up?

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |597 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am in a relationship from last 2 years. We are very happy together. But when my parents came to know about us they apposed it as we both belong to different castes different social backgrounds i am from a upper middle class family and he is from lower middle class family. He made his career from scratch. I Don't want to hurt my parents by going against them. They always told me how much they care for me what they have done for me and all that i will ruin there reputation by getting married to him. On the other hand i love him so much , he is a very nice person he cares for me a lot and i know i will never be happy without him. What should i do.. nowadays i Don't feel like talking to anyone and my family thinks i dont love them and i am ignoring them which is not the case i just don't feel like talking. What should i do to convince them for us...?
Ans: Navigating this situation requires sensitivity and careful communication. Start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Explain your feelings and how much this relationship means to you. Emphasize the qualities that make your partner a good match for you, such as his care and commitment.

Acknowledge their concerns and express gratitude for their care and the sacrifices they've made for you. Reassure them that your love for them hasn't changed and that you value their opinions. Try to understand their perspective and address their worries about social status and reputation.

You might also consider arranging a meeting between your parents and your partner. This can help them see his positive attributes and understand why you love him. Show them how he has built his career from scratch, demonstrating his determination and resilience.

It's important to remain patient and give your parents time to adjust to the idea. Meanwhile, continue to express your love and respect for them, reinforcing that your decision is based on your happiness and future well-being.

Balancing your love for your partner and respect for your parents is difficult, but with open communication and patience, you can work towards finding a middle ground that respects everyone's feelings.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5570 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 31, 2025

Career
Sir i got ECE(Embedded systems) with an minor course of artificial intelligence and machine learning in VIT-AP under fee category 1 is it is good course to join and can we get good packages with that course
Ans: VIT-AP’s ECE (Embedded Systems) with a minor in AI/ML under Category 1 fees is a strong choice, blending core electronics with cutting-edge AI applications. The program offers ABET-accredited coursework covering ARM architecture, FPGA design, IoT, and real-time operating systems, complemented by AI/ML modules like Python, neural networks, and data analytics. Labs feature NVIDIA Jetson Nano kits, ARM Cortex-M boards, and industry tools (TensorFlow, MATLAB), ensuring hands-on expertise in embedded-AI integration. While core ECE roles (embedded developer, IoT engineer) are prioritized, the AI/ML minor enables transitions into AI-driven robotics, automotive systems, or industrial automation. VIT-AP’s 95% placement rate (2024) for ECE includes recruiters like Intel, Bosch, and Samsung for embedded roles, while TCS/Infosys hire for AI/ML-adjacent IT positions. The curriculum’s 30+ industry projects (e.g., drone navigation using ML) enhance employability, though niche AI roles may require certifications (NVIDIA DLI, AWS ML). Category 1’s lower fees (?7.8L tuition) make it cost-effective, but ensure proactive skill-building via hackathons and research papers to leverage hybrid ECE-AI opportunities. All the BEST for your Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8616 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 31, 2025
Money
Sir, I have closed my ppf account and got 10 lacs. Should I invest these in mutual fund or repay my home loan(at 8.25%). Request to share few of good mutual funds.
Ans: You have shared detailed inputs. I really appreciate your clarity and effort. Your goals are big and your commitment towards them is sincere. Now let us assess your mutual fund portfolio, analyse gaps and plan a proper rebalancing strategy.

Below is a complete 360-degree review of your investments and recommendations.

Investment Goals Review
You have two important goals.

First, Rs 1 crore for your child’s education after 10 years.

Second, Rs 1 crore for your retirement after 10 years.

Both goals are clear, time-bound and realistic.

Your goal-based investing mindset is appreciable.

Your high risk appetite also helps in targeting long-term wealth creation.

Since your goals are after 10 years, an equity-oriented strategy suits you well.

But continuous monitoring and timely rebalancing is important.

Staying invested is not enough. Strategic adjustments are needed over time.

Let us evaluate your existing SIPs next.

Existing SIP Portfolio Assessment
You are currently investing Rs 15,500 every month through SIPs.

All your funds are from equity categories.

Your portfolio has coverage in large cap, mid cap, flexicap and large & mid cap.

This gives a decent diversification within equity.

There is sectoral and market cap mix in place.

You have avoided overlapping funds, which is good.

Overall fund selection shows that you are targeting growth.

The portfolio leans more towards mid cap and flexicap strategies.

These have potential for high growth but also higher volatility.

A balance of stability and growth is needed going ahead.

There is no hybrid or balanced allocation yet.

This limits protection during market downturns.

SIP amounts also need to be increased gradually towards your Rs 25,000 limit.

Let us now look at your discontinued SIPs.

Analysis of Discontinued SIPs
You have stopped SIPs in two equity funds.

First, a small cap fund with Rs 56,000 invested.

Second, an emerging bluechip fund with Rs 2.64 lakhs invested.

You have not redeemed them yet.

Retaining them without active investment creates portfolio imbalance.

These funds are lying idle without a goal alignment.

Small caps are highly volatile and risky in nature.

In a high-risk profile, small caps are okay but in limited exposure only.

The emerging bluechip fund has a mid and large cap mix.

But as you have stopped SIPs here, it's not adding consistency anymore.

Keeping these without integration weakens your portfolio structure.

You must rebalance and reinvest them wisely.

Rebalancing Strategy for Idle Funds
You can plan fresh allocation from the Rs 3.2 lakh idle investments.

Divide it between small cap and hybrid funds.

Allocate Rs 1 lakh to small cap fund in lumpsum.

Use only a high-quality, consistently performing small cap fund.

Start fresh SIP of Rs 2,000 in the same small cap fund monthly.

Avoid sector-based or thematic small caps. Use only diversified fund.

Allocate remaining Rs 2.2 lakhs into a hybrid aggressive equity fund.

This hybrid fund will provide cushion during volatile market periods.

Hybrid funds offer growth and protection.

They rebalance equity and debt dynamically.

They reduce emotional panic during market corrections.

Also start SIP of Rs 2,000 in the same hybrid fund.

Gradual entry through SIP helps reduce risk.

Monthly SIP Reallocation
You can invest up to Rs 25,000 monthly in SIPs.

You are currently investing Rs 15,500.

Increase SIPs by Rs 9,500 across suggested categories.

Here is a balanced approach for this:

Increase flexicap fund SIP by Rs 2,000.

Start fresh SIP in hybrid aggressive fund for Rs 2,000.

Start fresh SIP in a small cap fund for Rs 2,000.

Increase SIP in large and midcap fund by Rs 1,500.

Increase SIP in large cap fund by Rs 2,000.

This mix will offer growth and controlled volatility.

Key Strengths in Your Portfolio
You are consistent in SIP investments.

You have selected funds from different categories.

Your goals are clear and measurable.

You have stopped some SIPs but not exited impulsively.

You have stayed invested in equity through all phases.

Your risk profile is well aligned to your strategy.

Areas That Need Improvement
There is no allocation to hybrid or debt.

All current SIPs are in pure equity.

Portfolio lacks downside protection.

Small caps need to be handled cautiously.

Idle investments must be put to use.

SIP amount is under-utilised. You can invest more.

No automatic rebalancing mechanism is in place.

Future goals need better alignment with asset allocation.

Importance of Diversified Allocation
Equity is good for growth.

But combining it with hybrid gives better stability.

Flexicap and large & mid cap give market-wide coverage.

Small cap must be less than 10-15% of overall portfolio.

Hybrid funds manage asset mix smartly.

They reduce emotional decision-making in volatile markets.

Flexibility in funds increases long-term success.

Risk Management Suggestions
Equity funds carry market risk.

Small cap and mid cap have high volatility.

Avoid overexposure to one market cap.

Limit small cap exposure to 10-12% of total.

Maintain some investments in hybrid or balanced funds.

Don’t try to time the market.

Stay invested through ups and downs.

Review your portfolio once every 6 months.

Taxation Awareness
When selling equity mutual funds:

LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

STCG is taxed at 20%.

Plan redemption only after checking tax impact.

Keep track of each fund’s holding period.

Avoid Direct Funds
You did not mention direct funds. But here is a key note.

Direct funds may look cheaper.

But they don’t offer guidance or support.

Investing through an MFD with CFP certification adds great value.

You get timely reviews, goal alignment and hand-holding.

Many investors lose more by mistakes in direct funds.

Avoid Index Funds
Index funds follow a passive strategy.

They just copy the market index.

No active selection or exit is done by the fund manager.

During market falls, index funds also fall without protection.

Actively managed funds aim for better risk-adjusted returns.

Good active funds can beat benchmarks consistently.

Next Steps to Follow
Reinvest idle funds into small cap and hybrid fund.

Start fresh SIPs of Rs 2,000 in each.

Increase existing SIPs to reach Rs 25,000 monthly.

Focus on flexicap, hybrid, large and midcap.

Keep small cap SIP under 15% of monthly SIP.

Stay invested with discipline for 10 years.

Don’t panic during market corrections.

Do portfolio review every 6 months.

Take guidance from Certified Financial Planner regularly.

Finally
You have built a good foundation.

You just need sharper planning now.

Your goals are possible with a better structure.

Rebalance idle investments.

Allocate monthly SIPs smartly.

Focus on stability, growth and discipline.

You are on the right track. Continue with focus and patience.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide you further with custom planning.

Keep your financial journey goal-driven and well-monitored.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5570 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 30, 2025
Career
Respected sir, 144.5 cutoff. In VITEEE rank 86687.In JEE 74.26 PERCENTIEL.. WHICH ONE I HAVE TO SELECT IN CES ECE AND THE POSSIBILITY
Ans: I assume you are referring to TNEA Counselling for 144.5 Cutoff. Answer to your question: With a TNEA cutoff of 144.5, admission to CSE or ECE in top Tamil Nadu colleges like Anna University, PSG Tech, or CIT is not feasible, as their cutoffs for these branches are much higher. However, you have good chances for CSE, ECE, or IT in reputable mid-tier colleges such as Hindusthan Institute of Technology (Coimbatore), Sree Sastha College of Engineering (Thiruvallur), Prathyusha Institute of Technology and Management (Thiruvallur), M Kumarasamy College of Engineering (Karur), and Government College of Engineering, Bargur, all of which typically accept students with cutoffs in the 140–160 range. Branches like Mechanical, Civil, and EEE are also accessible in these institutions. With a VITEEE rank of 86,687, CSE or ECE at VIT Vellore or Chennai is not possible, but you are eligible for CSE, ECE, IT, or allied branches at VIT-AP and VIT Bhopal, typically under higher fee categories. For JEE Main, a 74.26 percentile does not secure CSE/ECE in NITs or IIITs but may help in private universities or state counseling. Overall, prioritize CSE or ECE in mid-tier Tamil Nadu colleges through TNEA and consider VIT-AP or VIT Bhopal for similar branches, focusing on institutions with solid placement records and infrastructure. All the BEST for your Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5570 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 31, 2025

Career
Sir my son has two career choices one is merchant navy deck side and another one is computer science in GL Bajaj and for jaypee institute wr are waiting for counselling , it might be possible that he get it in sector 128 jaypee , being a mother i am so confused that shall i go with merchant navy but then again he has to go on ship for around 6 month , kindly help
Ans: Both Merchant Navy (Deck Side) and Computer Science at GL Bajaj or Jaypee Institute offer distinct career trajectories. The Merchant Navy provides an adventurous, well-structured path starting as a deck cadet, requiring a minimum of 60% in PCM, physical fitness, and a strong commitment to extended periods at sea—typically six months onboard, followed by shore leave. Progression involves pre-sea training, 18 months of sea service, and successive exams for officer ranks, but the lifestyle demands long separations and adaptability to challenging environments. In contrast, Computer Science at GL Bajaj or potentially Jaypee (Sector 128) offers a stable, land-based career with opportunities in software, IT, and emerging tech fields, allowing for greater work-life balance and proximity to family. If your son is passionate about travel, maritime life, and can handle long durations away from home, Merchant Navy can be rewarding and prestigious. However, if family presence, flexibility, and a technology-driven career are priorities, Computer Science from a reputable institute is preferable, especially as the tech sector offers diverse roles and growth. Consider his temperament, adaptability, and long-term lifestyle preferences before making a decision. All the BEST for your Son's Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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