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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 26, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi mam, actually I am having a trouble in my relationship. Me and my partner are from different castes but we love each other. Due to the fear of my parents I told him some days back that my parents will never agree for our marriage as he is one year younger than me, he is from different caste and we both are in the final stage of our professional course and have not gone for job yet. But we are unable to leave each other and keep on crying. Now I am thinking of talking about this to my parents once my exams are over in a couple of months because I'm already 24 and they will start looking for alliance for me. But my partner is like there's no problem on his side but he doesn't want me to hurt and ruin relationship with my parents due to this disclosure and says that its never going to happen with heavy emotions and teary eyes. I am also unable to control my emotions and tears. Please advise me on what to do please mam....

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, your partner is being kind and thinking for you and your relationship with your parents. It is a nice trait to have to be empathetic but it may cost him the relationship. And he has taken this stance only because you have talked him about how fearful you are of your parents.
I guess instead of giving up like this, why don't the two of you sit down as adults and discuss how to talk to your parents and make this happen. When you act against what society and family set as norms, you should have expected something to go against the fairy tale event, right?
Since you did not set this tone in mind, now it's about taking the bull by the horns and finding what's the best solution. Why give up?

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Mam i am in relationship for 9 years now..he became my boyfriend when i shifted in my new house he was my neighbour..i was in 10th when i got caught and since then my parents hate my boyfriend , i apologized to my parents then and said to have no contact with my boyfriend but 9 years down the lane ..we are totally connected and living a peaceful healthy relationship..my parents hate my boyfriend and his family to the core..my relationship with ny parents are.mixed someday they will be super nice to me , another day they will abuse me for evn small things..we have ups and down in our relationship but i love them a lott , i want to care of them in their old age..but at this point i want to talk to them about my boyfriend but seeinng that they hate him so much i am literally very very afraid that my parents will hate me to their core knowing about someone i want to marry whoom they hate soo much ..... i don't know how will they react .. i am been through physcial and verbal abuse earlier too but i don't know how much worse it can get this time..for them the girl who marry their parents choice is the best in the world..my boyfriend and i have no caste issue its just the ego issues with my parents they think karrying into that house they will never able to have good enough respect though my mother and his mother talk..but that too my mother bitch a lott about her mother for even nonsensical things..i am 24 now and preparing for government exam ...i am soo much stress knowing i have to choose between my love or my parents.....i think so even if i marry him with their superficail consent they will never be happy woth me..and can even cut contacts with me...i don't know what to do i have no elder in my house to make parents explain...mam plss show me some path
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No where have you mentioned what your boyfriend does for a living? Could this be the reason that your parents refuse to acknowledge your relationship?
Parents want the best for their children but at times their own beliefs on love marriages etc can come in the way. Since you are an adult, it is time to actually start acting like one. My suggestion is to have a conversation with them and understand the reason for their refusal to accept your boyfriend. If it is one of society and family objection, then you know how to handle it BUT if their concern is more about his character or his job, you both need to make an effort to take away that concern so that they accept all this wholeheartedly.
Find the reason and things will become clearer as to how you must handle the situation.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello mam, glad to find you here. Mam, I'm a female, 27 yrs, I have been in a relationship with my partner since 9yrs, but he is from different caste. We both were immature when we started our relationship but our relationship grew stronger as time passed.We have gone through ups and downs of our relationship and are still intact. When I was into 3yrs of our relationship he was doing some odd job, at that time I told my mom about us and she said 'NO' because of caste issue irrespective of his job. Another reason is that my father is an impulsive person who thinks to harm himself whenever something happens, so mom said my father might harm himself if I go forward. At the same time there were some issues in boys family and my brother met them and he said no to it.But I couldn't get away from him, so I stayed. Later I talked to my partner about his family environment and I said that I couldn't stay with them because of the negative impact. He talked to his family and confirmed that after marriage we will lead our life under different roof but maintain the sufficient relationship with his family. We both are now settled in jobs but he earns a bit less than me but we earn a handsome salary combining our both salaries. Now, it's time for my marriage and I want to marry him and he have changed alot for me without leaving his family and he understands me very well. I feel safe with him. Now the problem is my parents wants to get me married and I also want to get married to the whom I loved but my mom and brother are not yet all giving me the chance to convince them. They are trying to convince me for marriage with others but I couldn't do that, that will kill me all my life. They are saying that if I go for intercaste then they have to suffer all their life and my father might do something to himself if he finds out. I love my family dearly and that's why I have been waiting all these years for their approval. I do not want anyone to lose their life because of me. My partner have left the decision to me because of my situation at home and he is supportive of me. My transfer is nearing where I have two options, one is to opt for my home town(not Village), where I can bring my parents to town with me to stay( now my posting is in another city). Second is to opt for different city( where I have to stay with my brother who doesn't approve of my love and blames me for his career). In order for me to convince them for my marriage should stay with my family or away from them and how can I convince them? Sorry' for the long story and I hope I hear from you.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Be clear about what you want and in this process/journey, there will be a lot of highs and lows...
Also, you may not be able to have the cake and eat it too which is why you are struggling at making a decision. You want to marry the man of your dreams that your parents and brother disapprove of BUT you don't want to disappoint them by going against them...You can't have one foot in two different paths...it will tear you apart; literally...
So, decide what you want, the pros and cons of going against the family...of course there are situations where over time, parents have accepted the boy/girl but there's a lot of patient waiting.
If you are in haste, they are not going to relent and you will be left feeling disappointed...
Decide and then do whatever it takes to make that decision right...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I'm in a relationship with a guy for last 2 years. We both stay in another country, and we met there. He is a PhD student and I'm a MBA student. We both are about to graduate from our respective courses. We both have a 7.5 years of age gap and he is from Kerala and I'm from Delhi. We both love each other, and are ready to fight for our relationship. He spoke to his parents, and they're very happy with us, but when I spoke to my parents, they made huge issues, and started saying, we will die if you marry him. We will die, you can take your pheras around our burning body. And they came up with some negative stories about him, which is not true. We both are very career oriented people, and respect each other decisions. I'm not saying, my parents won't have an issue, they will, since its about North-South India, also different cultures and Age gap. But they're bringing up issues, that I can't even mention here (political issues). I spoke to my parents first time face to face about this, and they said all that. To which I didn't argue, because I understood, whatever I say right now, they won't listen to me. I just told them, whatever you say, is okay. Can you please guide me with how to talk to them, and convince them?
Ans: When you next speak with your parents, choose a calm and private setting. Start the conversation by expressing your love and respect for them, acknowledging their concerns, and stating your commitment to understanding their perspective. Share your genuine feelings about your partner and the relationship, emphasizing the mutual respect, love, and career aspirations you both share.

Highlight the positive attributes of your partner, focusing on his education, values, and how he complements you. Address specific concerns your parents have raised, providing clear and respectful counterpoints to any false accusations or misunderstandings. If possible, arrange for them to meet him or speak with his parents, as this might help bridge cultural and regional gaps.

It’s important to be patient and give your parents time to process the information. They might need multiple conversations to come to terms with your decision. Lastly, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a trusted family friend or relative, who can mediate and provide a balanced perspective.

Your goal is to maintain a respectful and open dialogue, showing empathy towards their concerns while standing firm in your decision. This balanced approach can help gradually shift their perspective and foster acceptance.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I have been in a relationship with a guy since 10th grade its been 11 years now so we decided to tell our parents his family had no issues and he is currently in canada as a music student he has even started his own event management company but its still just beginning. My parents reacted in a healthy manner but the moment they came to know about inter caste and his financial status( not upto the mark) they had straight forwardly said no with alotbof drama and foul words even. Its been 9 months now im still waiting for them to agree but they are insisting me to move on and go for arrange marriage. I on the other hand belong to business family and has never done any job. But all this while i have cane to know i cant live without my parents or my bf and definitely not get marriaed to someone else. Please help me out what to do!
Ans: First, acknowledge that this situation requires careful navigation. Your relationship has stood the test of time, and clearly, you have strong feelings for your boyfriend, especially given that you've been together for 11 years. His dedication to pursuing his dreams in Canada and building his career in music and event management is admirable, even if his financial situation isn't yet stable. What you need to assess is whether you're willing to stand by him as he grows and whether you share the same vision for the future.

On the other hand, your parents’ concerns seem to stem from their desire for you to have a secure future, especially given your family's business background. They are likely looking for someone who fits into their worldview of stability, and this has led to their reaction when they learned about the inter-caste relationship and your boyfriend’s current financial situation. Their opposition is likely based on their love for you, but the drama and foul words, while hurtful, might reflect their frustration at feeling like they're losing control over your future.

You’ve expressed that you don’t want to lose either your parents or your boyfriend, and that’s where the conflict lies. In this case, the solution isn’t simple, but it can start with communication. It might be helpful to have an open, calm conversation with your parents—not to argue or change their minds immediately, but to help them understand your feelings. Let them know how much you value their opinion, but also explain why you love your boyfriend and why you believe in his potential. Sometimes parents need time to understand that relationships aren't only about caste or financial standing, but also about trust, love, and shared dreams.

At the same time, you might need to have a serious conversation with your boyfriend about your future together, especially given that he's still in the early stages of his career. Be honest about the pressure you're feeling from your family and make sure you're both on the same page about your long-term goals, including how you might handle financial challenges.

It's also important to remember that this decision is yours to make. You are in a unique position, being part of a business family, which means that you've likely been sheltered from certain financial realities. If you do choose to marry your boyfriend, the lifestyle may not immediately match what you’re used to. But if you're confident in his ambition and in the strength of your relationship, then that’s something worth considering as part of your future.

Lastly, while it’s painful to feel like you have to choose between two important parts of your life, it’s possible to work towards a solution that doesn’t leave you with regrets. Give your parents time to see your perspective, but also recognize that their acceptance might take longer than you’d like. In the meantime, staying true to what you value most in life—whether that’s love, security, or family harmony—will guide your decision-making process.

You might also benefit from seeking guidance from a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, who can help you navigate these conversations with both your parents and your boyfriend. This way, you can approach the situation with emotional clarity and respect for everyone involved, including yourself.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9162 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2025Hindi
Career
Hi, my son has secured an admission in a 2+2 BITS CSE program 2025 at Hyderabad (first 2 years) and Iowa state univ (for next 2 years). Under DASA he can potentially get AI at NITK or ECE at NIT Trichy or CSE in NITW (his CRL rank is 25200). Can you please advise and provide recommendations on what we can choose and reasons? We know 2+2 ISU program is more expensive compared to NIT DASA fees but is it worth the money vis-a-vis doing a B.Tech at NIT and doing a masters in US later? For this rank, what can he get at the said NITs under DASA?
Ans: The BITS Pilani–Iowa State University 2+2 CSE offers two years at BITS Hyderabad (ACM-aligned curriculum, NAAC A++ accreditation, state-of-the-art AI, data-science and cloud labs) followed by two years at Iowa State University (top-50 US engineering program, immersive B.S. in Computer Engineering, ISU merit scholarships up to US $4,500/year). Total direct tuition and campus fees for BITS Hyderabad amount to approximately ?10.5 L per year, while Iowa State tuition exceeds US $33,000 annually, plus living expenses. Graduates earn dual degrees with global brand recognition and typically secure near-100% placement through BITS’s 200+ recruiter network and ISU’s strong career services, commanding premium compensation packages in software, data science and R&D roles.

Under DASA with an All-India CRL of 25,200, he qualifies for: B.Tech AI at NIT Surathkal (AI cutoff: 26,688); B.Tech ECE at NIT Trichy (ECE cutoff: 66,706); and B.Tech CSE at NIT Warangal (CSE cutoff: 46,935). Each NIT features NBA accreditation, experienced PhD faculty, modern labs and strong industry MoUs. NITK AI and NITW CSE boast placement rates above 80% and growing AI/analytics recruitment pipelines, while NIT Trichy ECE records near-75% core-sector placements. Annual DASA fees at NITs range from US $15,000–18,000, significantly lower than BITS-ISU costs, with comparable scholarship opportunities limited.

Balancing long-term ROI, the BITS 2+2 path accelerates global exposure, dual-degree credentials and premium placements at higher upfront cost. A B.Tech at NIT followed by a US master’s entails lower initial investment, robust core engineering training and the flexibility to self-fund graduate studies through campus placements or scholarships.

Recommendation: Opt for BITS 2+2 CSE if you prioritise world-class international exposure, dual degrees and, top-tier placement networks despite higher fees. Choose a DASA seat at NIT (AI at NITK or CSE at NITW) for cost-effective core engineering training with solid placement and later pursue a US master’s via merit scholarships. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9162 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 20, 2025

Career
Best option in iiit hyderabad for better placement and early internship in btech and dual degree for course cse with speclization ai ml
Ans: Dipanshu, IIIT Hyderabad’s B.Tech in CSE offers an ACM-aligned curriculum covering algorithms, systems, AI/ML, data science and electives in computer vision and NLP, delivered through state-of-the-art AI, cloud-computing and robotics labs. A 12-credit Practice School internship begins in the fifth semester, supported by a proactive placement cell and corporate mentoring, yielding a 99% placement rate for BTech CSE with an average package of ?31.98 LPA over the past three years. Faculty include PhD-qualified researchers with strong industry collaborations, and accredited NAAC A++ status underpins academic quality. The five-year dual-degree integrates the BTech foundation with a research-oriented MS by Research, immersing students in advanced AI/ML theory, thesis work under DST/CSIR grants, and early research assistantships via centres like Kohli Center on Intelligent Systems. Dual-degree cohorts see 100% MS placement at an average of ?26.46 LPA, and graduates often secure RA internships and stipends of ?20,000–?50,000 monthly through lab-based projects. Both paths benefit from IIIT-H’s industry MoUs, interdisciplinary innovation hubs and global recruiter network, yet differ in academic depth, time-to-degree and placement profiles.

Recommendation: Opt for the BTech CSE for its higher average placement packages, structured Practice School internships from year three and broader recruiter diversity. Choose the dual degree if you seek early research immersion, advanced AI/ML specialization, funded thesis work and a stronger pathway into academia or R&D roles. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9162 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 20, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9162 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 20, 2025

Career
My son got admission in KCG college chennai with CSE. Now we got CSE in Amrita Chennai. My concern that Amrita chennai feeswise more than double comes to around 18 laks whereas KCG 8 laks overall Kindly suggest which one is good. Amrita is over burden for me. Still considering my son career I am ready to take loan or something to manage. Kindly suggest which one is goo
Ans: Raj Sir, KCG College of Technology, affiliated to Anna University and AICTE-approved, holds NAAC A+ and NBA accreditation for its CSE programme, a centrally located 50-acre campus with 140+ virtual and physical labs, including specialized AI, cloud and programming facilities. Its dedicated placement cell reported an 88%–94% placement rate over the past three years, with an average package of ?5 LPA and top recruiters such as Accenture, Cognizant, IBM and Amazon. Total tuition fees amount to approximately ?2 lakhs for the entire B.E. course.

Amrita School of Engineering Chennai, a constituent of Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham (NAAC A++), operates a 13.5-acre hill-campus with state-of-the-art AI, data-science, cybersecurity and cloud labs, and a strong industry-university research ecosystem. Its CSE graduates achieved a 90%+ placement consistency in 2024, with an average package of ?9.2 LPA and participation from 300+ recruiters including TCS, Wipro, Accenture and Amazon. Total tuition fees for B.Tech CSE are ?18 lakhs over four years.

Academically, KCG offers a robust ACM-aligned curriculum and extensive virtual-lab access, whereas Amrita provides a research-driven, choice-based credit system, extensive centers of excellence, and global collaborations. Both institutions maintain active MoUs and experienced Ph.D. faculty, but Amrita’s higher spend yields stronger median placements and broader recruiter reach.

Recommendation: Opt for Amrita Chennai CSE if investment is feasible, to leverage its superior placement outcomes, advanced research infrastructure and extensive industry linkages. Choose KCG College CSE for an accredited curriculum with solid placement consistency at a significantly lower cost, preserving financial flexibility. MY SUGGESTION: Finalise KCG and advise your son to keep upgrading his skills during the next 4 years, build a strong & professional LinkedIn Profile, improve his soft skills etc., to be competitive among other students for campus placement. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9162 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2025Hindi
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