Hi Ma’am.
I’m having a problem with my parents about my marriage.
I’ve been in a relationship for three years and I want to marry him.
My parents are not agreeing as it is a society issue because it is an interstate and inter-caste marriage.
I'm trying to convince my parents for that since long time but it's going nowhere and they are too stubborn to even meet him once.
What can I do in this situation? How can I deal with their emotional drama as a parent-child relationship should not break because of these issues? Kindly advise me, Ma’am.
AS

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Inter-faith marriages are still unaccepted in many societies and the challenges that come with it are not just with family acceptance but adapting and adjusting to different cultures, tastes etc...
Yes, on the one hand, love does not have any boundaries BUT massive changes in society have still not taken place to accept inter-faith marriages and your parents also belong to that very same society that hinders more than supports.
It has come down to a choice for you now!
Family or your Love?
If you choose Family, all will be well except you and your boyfriend. It will be giving up what you dreamed of together.
If you choose Love, you can of course live life on your terms but your family may vow to never see you again (it seems evident from all the vibes at your home).
Since, you are financially independent, you are in a better position to decide BUT it is going to be a decision that will leave someone unhappy. Who that is going to be and whether you can harden yourself with it is the question!
Now, Family and Love can go hand in hand only when both integrate which means an uphill task for both sides to negotiate, navigate and live in harmony. If this can be achieved by some neutral person bringing both sides together, please attempt this first before making a final decision. But make the choice soon, so there is a resolution either way.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, your partner is being kind and thinking for you and your relationship with your parents. It is a nice trait to have to be empathetic but it may cost him the relationship. And he has taken this stance only because you have talked him about how fearful you are of your parents.
I guess instead of giving up like this, why don't the two of you sit down as adults and discuss how to talk to your parents and make this happen. When you act against what society and family set as norms, you should have expected something to go against the fairy tale event, right?
Since you did not set this tone in mind, now it's about taking the bull by the horns and finding what's the best solution. Why give up?

All the best!

Ans: The salary is not a problem, if he doesn’t have misplaced ego about his wife earning more than him; some men are broad-minded enough to even be proud of their wives earning more. Nor is caste; love has no fixed faith. But this nuclear family business is a red flag; I would strictly advice not living under the same roof with his mother and sister. There is bound to be friction. Then relations sour and your marriage gets strained. If he is willing to step out from under their shadow and live separately with you, and the money-making is not an issue for him, you’re making the right choice of partner. If either of the above is not realistic, I would suggest you stop trying to convince your parents and listen to what they have to say.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No where have you mentioned what your boyfriend does for a living? Could this be the reason that your parents refuse to acknowledge your relationship?
Parents want the best for their children but at times their own beliefs on love marriages etc can come in the way. Since you are an adult, it is time to actually start acting like one. My suggestion is to have a conversation with them and understand the reason for their refusal to accept your boyfriend. If it is one of society and family objection, then you know how to handle it BUT if their concern is more about his character or his job, you both need to make an effort to take away that concern so that they accept all this wholeheartedly.
Find the reason and things will become clearer as to how you must handle the situation.

All the best!

Ans: Navigating intercaste marriage in Indian society can indeed be challenging, but it's important to remember that your happiness and well-being should be paramount. Here are some suggestions tailored to the context of Indian society and relationships Start by trying to understand the specific concerns your parents have about the intercaste marriage. Is it fear of societal judgment, concerns about cultural differences, or something else? Understanding their perspective can help you address their concerns more effectively.Consider involving a trusted family member or elder who can act as a mediator between you and your parents. Sometimes, having a respected third party intervene can help facilitate a more productive conversation and bridge the gap between generations. Seek support from within your community or cultural circle. Sometimes, hearing from others who have successfully navigated intercaste marriages can help reassure your parents that such unions can be successful and fulfilling.Take the opportunity to educate your parents about the changing dynamics of relationships and marriages in modern Indian society. Share stories and examples of intercaste marriages that have thrived, and emphasize that love knows no boundaries. Changing deeply ingrained beliefs and cultural norms takes time. Be patient with your parents and continue to express your love and commitment to your partner. Sometimes, repeated conversations and demonstrations of your sincerity can gradually soften their stance. Consider seeking the assistance of a relationship counselor or therapist who specializes in intercultural or intercaste relationships. They can provide you with personalized advice and strategies for navigating the complexities of your situation.While it's always preferable to have your parents' blessing, remember that ultimately, the decision to marry is yours. If all efforts to persuade your parents fail and you feel that marrying your partner is the right choice for you, consider exploring legal options such as court marriage. Take care of your mental and emotional well-being during this challenging time. Lean on your partner, friends, and support network for emotional support, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Remember, you deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you for who you are, regardless of societal expectations or family objections. Stay true to yourself and your values, and trust that with patience, understanding, and perseverance, you can overcome the obstacles in your path.