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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |538 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Madam, Iam a 45 year old woman. Ever since I was a kid I had went through lot of bullying by my rekatives for the way I look but my parents never supported me in any way instead found fault in ne for complaining but would always support my younger brother. Somewhere down the line I thought this was all I deserved and let oeople walk all over me without standing up for myself. Now that Iam a mother myself of a 15 year old kid with dyskexia, i have sacrificed my career fir his sake and still get bullied by my relatives dir being a useless house wife. I have started drawing boundaries around me to protect my mental sanity and allow only few people in it which invludes a small group of friends and my son and husband. I avoid making new friends. I have also stopped attending any social events that involves my relatives. Meanwhile I have started deeply resenting my parents who want ne to take care of them but openly favour my brother who lives abroad. I have taken care of them everytime they require neducal treatments yet my father openly says that he plans to give all his property to my brother who is never coming back. Its not about the money here but the apathy they have towards me that kills me from inside. I have tried to talk to them multiple times but each time my mother creates a scene and puts the enture blame on me. For once in my life i want my parents to love me unconditionally the way I do with my son. Am i wrong to expect that? This is causung lot of health issues in me. Please advise.

Ans: First and foremost, it's crucial to recognize that your feelings are valid. It's natural to want love and support from your parents, especially after all you've done for them. It's not wrong to expect unconditional love from your family; however, sometimes, unfortunately, families can be complex and dysfunctional, and our expectations may not always be met.

Drawing boundaries and prioritizing your mental health and well-being is a positive step. It's essential to protect yourself from toxic relationships and environments, even if it means distancing yourself from certain family members. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and loved ones, like your son and husband, is vital for your emotional health.

Regarding your parents, it's clear that their behavior is hurtful and unjust. It's understandable that you would feel hurt and resentful toward them, given their favoritism towards your brother and lack of appreciation
for your sacrifices and care. However, it's also essential to recognize that you cannot control their actions or attitudes. You can only control how you respond to them.

While it's challenging, try to approach conversations with your parents from a place of empathy and understanding. Express your feelings calmly and assertively, focusing on how their actions make you feel rather than blaming them. It's possible that they may not even realize the extent of the hurt they're causing you. However, it's also essential to set realistic expectations. If your parents continue to be unsupportive or dismissive, it may be necessary to limit your interactions with them for the sake of your own well-being.

Remember to prioritize self-care and seek support from a therapist or counselor if you're struggling with your mental health. It's okay to seek professional help to navigate through these difficult emotions and experiences. You deserve love, respect, and validation, and it's essential to surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.

Lastly, continue to cherish the love and bond you have with your son and husband. They are your pillars of support, and together, you can navigate through these challenges. You're stronger than you realize, and you have the power to create a fulfilling and loving life for yourself, regardless of the negativity from others.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1503 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
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I'm 25 YO, I've completed my medical degree in BAMS recently and brother is 17YO still in school. I've seen very severe favouritism of my parents towards my brother. I know he's a boy and all and in India, being a boy makes all of your wrong doings right! It's very emotionally distressing for me that even I'm the older child, my parents asks and discuss things with my younger brother but not me :( since the time he was born, I've always been neglected, I used to be a star kid, the getting 10/10 marks in everything. But eventually my self esteem degraded, and I stopped working hard, they have always pointed me out for my looks and my behavior, which was very hurtful. I've been away from my family for 5 years and it literally changed me, I was not depressed anymore, although my self esteem also affected my academic performance and my relationship choices, but somewhat I was happy. But now I'm home, and again, my parents points out my mistakes, my academic that I didn't get MBBS, that I don't even look good, and I'm crazy, I don't even have brains. And my brother who didn't even score 50% is asked and being discussed over everything what to eat, where to go, what car to buy, what TV to buy etc. I feel so sad and stuck here. I feel like for my father and mother, I'm invisible. Everyday I feel like when this life will end. It's even harming my studies. All I do is day dream about being loved by someone. I just want to focus on me and my studies. But I'm not able to do it.What can I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If there's evident distinction in the way that your parents treat you and your brother, then it's pretty unfortunate.
One way is to actually talk to them about it and tell them how you feel, but I am unsure if this is going to work. The other way is to reassure yourself with your own self-love and be happy that you are academically strong. Use your degree wisely and to make a mark on your own by serving the society in your own way.
Someday, your parents may realize this and pay attention to you. But if you feel that things are going well for you emotionally, I suggest that you work with a professional who can guide you and your energies back into yourself without relying on anyone. This will help you tide over the hurt and the pain and move into a space of confidence.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Harsh

Harsh Bharwani  |75 Answers  |Ask -

Entrepreneurship Expert - Answered on Feb 13, 2025

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Sir I am a Engineer by profession snd working in Qatar. Same time i had Cost accountant Degree and passed out way back at 2009. After that no touch with Cost Accounts. Now i am 48 yrs and after few yrs i want to move back to India. But that time if want open a cost accounting firm, what would be the best move i can do to open the consulting firm?
Ans: Hello Mr. Heman,
Reestablishing your career in cost accounting and setting up a consulting firm in India requires careful planning. Start by updating your knowledge through ICAI’s continuing education programs, industry seminars, and professional courses to stay current with evolving regulations and industry practices. Reactivating your ICAI membership and obtaining a Certificate of Practice (CoP) is essential to offer consulting services legally. While still in Qatar, gaining practical exposure by offering freelance or part-time cost auditing or GST advisory services to Indian firms will help establish credibility.

Next, choose a suitable business structure - Sole Proprietorship, LLP, or Private Limited Company - based on your growth plans and compliance preferences. Register your firm with the Ministry of Corporate Affairs and obtain the necessary licenses. Conduct thorough market research to identify your target clients, understand industry needs, and define your service offerings, such as cost audits, financial consulting, and management advisory. A well-structured business plan with clear financial projections will help ensure long-term sustainability.

Investing in technology and infrastructure is crucial. Setting up a professional office, adopting modern accounting software, and leveraging cloud-based financial solutions will enhance efficiency. Building a strong professional network is equally important - reconnect with former colleagues, join industry associations, attend networking events, and establish a digital presence through a website and social media to attract clients.

Lastly, focus on compliance and quality assurance. Adhering to ICAI regulations, tax laws, and ethical standards is critical for maintaining credibility and trust. By systematically following these steps, you can successfully transition back into cost accounting and establish a reputable consulting firm in India, ensuring a stable and rewarding career.

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1012 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Feb 13, 2025

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Can I change my plan from star FOH to Star Assure. In plan migration form What I write in PED column. my policy number was taken on 19 February 2021, in the first week of March 2021 suddenly my blood pressure increased, due to which the doctor asked me to undergo angiography. After that the doctor asked to do angioplasty immediately and thus on 18 March 2021 I got angioplasty done. Now I am completely healthy, since my illness occurred within 31 days of taking the policy, company agent told me that there is no provision to cover any health related problem within 31 days. Company agent told me that there is no provision to declare any illness midway. Now I am completely healthy. Company not include my above mentioned health condition in my policy. And compny given me reply "Dear Mr. Jain, We acknowledge the receipt of your mail. With reference to our previous telcon, this is to inform that any disease or ailment/illness if found after inception of policy. It is not required to disclose under policy. But if you still wish to disclose the disease then kindly find the attached PED inclusion form, fill and submit us for further evaluation. Note : To note the disease in the policy PED form is mandatory. We request you to provide the Medical reports/ Discharge summary /any relevant /First consultation paper / medical document of the said procedure/diagnosis, which shall be kept for our reference. " What can I do.
Ans: Hello;

Regarding plan migration feasibility you may check with your insurer/insurance agent.

If you want to inform the insurer about your later acquired illness you may furnish the details to them as per their requirement and check their feedback on the same.

Their feedback will decide your next course of action.

Best wishes;

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