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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 21, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 03, 2024
Relationship

I am in relationship with a kind beautiful girl, hope we will get married , our families know eachother . But my gf was in relationship with someone in teenage and is getting blackmailed . She is afraid , she told me everything before , it's very confusing for me should I marry her , what if my family knows about it , he's blackmailing her and is telling her to not marry me otherwise he will share her private pics in social media . Should I be afraid , I love her and can wait for her , should I tell my family about this all. I really care for her and never judge for past relationship.

Ans: the most important thing is supporting your girlfriend without letting fear or confusion overwhelm you. She trusted you enough to share her past, which means she sees you as her safe space. Right now, your focus should be on helping her deal with the blackmail rather than doubting your future together.

Blackmail is a crime, and this guy is taking advantage of her fear. The worst thing you both can do is let him control the situation. Encourage her to take legal action—she can file a police complaint under cybercrime laws, and in many cases, authorities act swiftly against such threats. If she is too scared to go to the police, you can explore other options like speaking to a lawyer for guidance.

As for your family, you need to assess how they might react. If they are open-minded and supportive, telling them could help, but if you think they will overreact or judge her unfairly, you may want to keep this between you and your girlfriend for now. The key is ensuring she feels safe and not abandoned.

If you truly love her and see a future together, don’t let her past or someone else’s threats ruin what you both have. Instead, focus on finding a solution. Stand by her, but also make sure she takes action to free herself from this emotional and psychological burden.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am in a relationship with a girl from my office for nearly 1.5 years now. We both speak Marathi only sub caste is different.At start of our relationship we discussed about it as she tells me her parents will not support her, so I convinced her that I will support her in every way possible to convince her parent and will stand with her though every situation. I am 31 years old and she is 27. Her parents told her that she has 2 years for marriage so she is currently focusing on career right now.My parents are forcing me for marriage. As her family has issues with my subcaste and she is not willing to disclose our relationship for another 2 years. So I told her that I will wait for 1 year then we can disclose our relationship to both families mines and her, if your family agrees we can wait for one more year so that she can focus on career and she can get 2 years as per her parents. Moreover I will always support her in career and family issues. But still she is not ready she told me that she will not tell her family about our relationship until 2 years are complete. Can you please suggest me any solution for this?
Ans:

Dear TG,

At this point, what is missing for you possibly is if after the wait, if she will still be there in the relationship?

If she isn’t willing to complicate her family life at this point in time, I guess she has valid reasons for that which must be respected.

But what If the two of you sit down where you can put down your feelings and find an amicable way of easing this.

I am sure there are a lot of ifs and buts that is making you feel the way that you are. It is only imperative that you called out to her and be firm and assertive as to how this might be playing in your mind.

For all you know, once she hears your side of the story and she shares hers, solutions emerge from that especially when the commitment is strong.

So, have that one meaningful conversation where feelings, fears and insecurities are shared and watch how the two of you will come up with something wonderful as a solution.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 04, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am in relationship with a girl since 9 years, Yes we have came through a lot of ups & downs in our relationship, constant fights on same things , what i have always observed is that she doesn’t respect my family as my family was not ready for this relationship as future(marriage), so lately i have convinced my family for it & even their family also ready now, I see my family are not happy with this marriage but they are doing for my happiness, since now they are ready, I see very less changes in my gf’s approach towards my family, most of the thing I listen from her mouth are Anti-Family things like separation or against my families thoughts. I am really worried of how my future after marriage considering her, She even asks me to get separated from family, if things doesn’t work between them. Please help me in this situation
Ans: Marriage is not just about love between two people—it’s about aligning values, fostering respect, and building a shared vision for the future. If your girlfriend continues to express "anti-family" sentiments or encourages separation as a solution, it’s worth exploring whether this stems from unresolved fears, insecurities, or deeper incompatibilities in how you both view family relationships. These issues won’t magically resolve after marriage; in fact, they often intensify when unaddressed.

The key here is open communication. Have an honest, non-confrontational conversation with her about your concerns. Share how much it means to you that she respects your family and how her current attitude makes you feel. Equally, try to understand her perspective without judgment. This discussion isn’t about assigning blame but about finding common ground and exploring whether you both can work through these differences.

At the same time, reflect deeply on your own expectations and boundaries. Consider what a happy and fulfilling marriage looks like for you. If respect for your family and shared values about how to navigate family relationships are non-negotiables for you, it’s essential to make that clear and see whether she is willing to meet you halfway.

If these issues feel too difficult to resolve alone, seeking pre-marital counseling or relationship therapy can provide a safe space to address them constructively. Sometimes, having a neutral third party facilitate these conversations can lead to breakthroughs that are hard to achieve on your own.

Remember, marriage is a lifelong commitment, and entering into it with unresolved doubts or concerns can lead to deeper struggles later on. Take the time to ensure that both of you are ready not just to marry but to build a life that respects and honors each other's values and families.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1199 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2025

Money
I am 41 years old male working in a private firm and investing from 2017 in MFs and accumulated around 20 lakhs. My target is to achieve 3 crores in 15 years ( from 2025 ) . My portfolio is given below , Apart from MF investing NPS & PPF and some times in Direct equity. Question : 1) Is my fund selection ok , With this current Portfolio along with 10 % Stepup can i achieve my goal. 2) Is SBI blue chip & HSBC small cap funds ok or do I switch to other funds ? 3) Want to invest 5000 more, in which fund should I allocate ? 4) Shall I stop PPF and that money I divert to a mutual fund? 5) Some other funds are also there in my portfolio which I stopped SIP but did not withdraw the amount. What is the best strategy in this case? Mutual Funds S/no Fund name Amount (RS) /month 1 SBI Blue Chip fund 5000 2 Parag Parikh Flexi Cap fund 10000 3 Kotak Multicap Fund 5000 4 Motilal Oswal Mid Cap fund 10000 5 HDFC Mid Cap opportunities 5000 7 HSBC Small Cap fund 5000 8 Nippon India Small Cap fund 5000 Total 45000 S/no NPS Amount (RS) /month 1 Tier -1 7000 2 Tier -2 3000 PPF Amount (RS) / year 1 ICICI PPF 60000
Ans: Hello;

Please find pointwise reply to your queries:

1. You already have allocation to small and mid caps through Flexi cap and multicap funds. Despite that you may have additional allocation to One dedicated mid and small cap fund but not two!

The monthly sip's into second small cap and midcap fund may instead be moved to an aggressive hybrid type mutual fund and multi asset allocation type mutual fund.

You may achieve your target with the proposed step up(10%) planned even considering 10% modest returns from MF investments.

2. Funds are okay however you need to review risk-adjusted performance every year with reference to the benchmark and category average and then decide suitably.

3. You may invest additional 5 K in gold mutual fund.

4. Keep contributing to PPF. It's a social security scheme and goes towards sovereign debt in your overall asset allocation.

5. Review past MF holding in line with your overall asset allocation, portfolio overlap, risk adjusted performance and decide as appropriate.

You may select and avoid funds from suggested categories based on risk adjusted performance criteria.

This being a neutral forum we are prohibited to recommend xyz fund.

Happy Investing;

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8314 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2025

Money
Hi Madam, I purchased 200gm of RBI Sovereign gold bond in August 2020. Should i go for early redemption or wait for 8 years .Regards Puneet Dave
Ans: You have invested in RBI Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGBs) in August 2020. You hold 200 grams, which is a sizeable investment. You are now considering whether to redeem early or hold till maturity. Let’s assess from all angles.

 
 
Understanding Your SGB Investment

 
 

You bought it in August 2020. The 8-year maturity will be in August 2028.

 
 

So, 3.5+ years are over. Around 4.5 years are still left.

 
 

You earn 2.5% annual interest on the issue price. That is paid half-yearly.

 
 

At maturity, you get full market value of gold (as per RBI price on maturity date).

 
 

Gains at maturity are fully tax-free if held till 8 years. This is the biggest advantage.

 
 
Early Redemption – What You Should Know

 
 

RBI allows early exit only after 5 years, and that too only on interest payout dates.

 
 

If you redeem before 8 years, capital gains are taxable.

 
 

Gains will be taxed at 20% after indexation if held more than 3 years.

 
 

That reduces the post-tax returns. You lose the full tax-free benefit.

 
 

Also, if you sell in the secondary market, prices may be lower than actual value.

 
 
Why It’s Better to Hold Till Maturity

 
 

The biggest reason to hold is zero tax on capital gains after 8 years.

 
 

You also continue to earn 2.5% annual interest, which is over and above gold price return.

 
 

The longer you stay, the more you benefit from compounding on gold price growth.

 
 

Your total return = Gold appreciation + 2.5% interest + Zero tax. This is unmatched.

 
 

Selling now will only give you part of this benefit. You will lose long-term compounding.

 
 
When Early Exit Can Be Considered

 
 

If you are in urgent need of money, then only consider early redemption.

 
 

If you are switching to another asset for a defined financial goal, then it's acceptable.

 
 

But even then, use the RBI redemption window (after 5 years), not the market.

 
 

Don’t sell SGBs on stock exchange. It gives lower price and liquidity is poor.

 
 
Suggested Action Plan for You

 
 

You have waited for 3.5 years. Just wait for the remaining 4.5 years.

 
 

You will get full value with 0% tax, which no other gold investment gives.

 
 

Keep the 2.5% interest going to your bank account. Use it or reinvest it.

 
 

Review again after August 2025 (5 years). But likely, maturity will be best option.

 
 

Holding till August 2028 will give you the maximum financial benefit.

 
 
Final Insights

 
 

Your SGB investment is in the right direction. It gives safe, tax-efficient, and stable returns.

 
 

Holding it till maturity is almost always the best choice unless there is urgent need.

 
 

Don’t be influenced by short-term gold price movements. Let it grow tax-free.

 
 

You have made a smart decision in 2020. Just give it the full 8 years to reward you.

 
 

Best Regards,
 
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
 
Chief Financial Planner
 
www.holisticinvestment.in
 
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8314 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2025
Money
I am 43 years old and an aggressive investor and I started investing 1 lac per month in SIP in 2019. These are my current funds of 20k each per month : 1. CANARA ROBECO EMERGING EQUITIES 2. HDFC MID-CAP OPPORTUNITIES FUND 3. SBI FLEXICAP FUND 4. ICICI PRUDENTIAL BLUECHIP FUND 5. NIPPON INDIA SMALL CAP FUND In 2024, i started to invest another 1.8 lacs per month split in the following funds : 6. Quant Small Cap Fund 7. Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund 8. Canara Robeco Infrastructure 9. Quant Large and Mid Cap Fund 10. Bandhan Small cap Fund 11. Quant Commodities Fund 12. LIC MF Manufacturing Fund 13. Quant Dynamic Asset Allocation Fund 14. INVESCO INDIA LARGE AND MID CAP FUND 15. SBI Automotive Opportunities Fund 16. Motilal Oswal Large and Midcap Fund Could you share your views on my overall portfolio please, and if I should change any of them ? I am a long term investor and not in any hurry to sell. Thanks
Ans: You have shown strong commitment. Investing Rs. 1 lakh monthly since 2019 is highly disciplined. Adding Rs. 1.8 lakh more monthly in 2024 further shows your aggressive mindset and future planning.

Let me assess your portfolio thoroughly, from all angles. I will explain every layer of your mutual fund selection and offer insights for improvements. Your portfolio has both strengths and gaps. Let’s examine it part by part.

 
 
Your Risk Profile and Time Horizon

 
 

You are 43. Retirement may still be 15+ years away. Time is on your side.

 
 

You have clearly defined yourself as an aggressive investor. That’s good.

 
 

You are not looking for short-term exits. That’s ideal for equity investments.

 
 

You are mentally strong for market ups and downs. Patience is your strength.

 
 
Your Monthly Commitment and Fund Spread

 
 

You invest Rs. 2.8 lakh per month. That’s a huge amount. Very few do this.

 
 

You are split across 16 funds. That’s on the higher side. Needs review.

 
 

Too many funds reduce focus. You don’t get full advantage from each fund.

 
 

There’s fund overlap. You’re holding multiple funds in similar categories.

 
 
Fund Category Allocation Overview

 
 

Let’s look at your fund categories. We will see where you are strong and where things are scattered.

 
 

Small Cap Funds – You hold 4 small cap funds. That’s too many.

 
 

Mid Cap Funds – You hold 3 mid cap funds. That’s slightly high.

 
 

Flexicap / Large & Mid Cap – You have 4 funds here. Needs cleanup.

 
 

Bluechip / Large Cap – Only 1 fund here. Slightly under-represented.

 
 

Thematic / Sectoral Funds – You have 4 funds here. That is risky.

 
 

Dynamic Asset Allocation – You have 1 fund here. That adds balance.

 
 
Your Portfolio Strengths

 
 

Let’s appreciate what’s working well in your portfolio.

 
 

You have shown long-term vision. Most investors can’t hold on patiently.

 
 

You have a good mix of mid, small and flexicap funds. Growth-oriented.

 
 

You have started SIP early and maintained consistency. That builds wealth.

 
 

Your fund choices include a few high-quality performers. That’s commendable.

 
 

You have added new funds in 2024. That shows adaptability and planning.

 
 
Areas That Need Immediate Attention

 
 

Now let’s look at areas which need a clean-up or some correction.

 
 

Too Many Funds: 16 is too many. Even 8 to 10 is enough. Reduce clutter.

 
 

Too Many Small Cap Funds: 4 small caps can add high risk and volatility.

 
 

Overlapping Categories: Some midcap and flexicap funds behave similarly.

 
 

Too Much Sector Exposure: Infrastructure, Commodities, Auto, Manufacturing – that’s high sector risk.

 
 

Unstable Funds: Some thematic funds do well in cycles. Not suitable for SIP always.

 
 

Missing Debt Allocation: Even aggressive investors need some debt buffer. None seen.

 
 
Suggested Adjustments to Your Portfolio

 
 

Let’s work on a 360-degree improvement plan. Keep it practical and action-oriented.

 
 

Reduce Fund Count: Bring it down to around 8-10 funds. Better tracking and performance.

 
 

Limit Small Cap Funds: Keep only 2 small cap funds. Choose based on past 5-year track.

 
 

Mid Cap Funds: Keep only 2 best-performing midcap funds. Avoid redundancy.

 
 

Flexicap or Large & Mid Cap: Keep 2 funds from this group. Review performance, not names.

 
 

Sector Funds: Choose only 1 or max 2. Prefer long-term stable sectors.

 
 

Add a Balanced Fund: Include 1 balanced advantage or dynamic allocation fund. That helps in market correction phases.

 
 

Review Every 6 Months: Don’t hold laggards. Evaluate every 6 months with your MFD with CFP credential.

 
 

Avoid Direct Plans: Stick to regular plans. You get advisory, service, and emotional coaching.

 
 

Direct funds seem cheaper, but long-term mistakes cost more. Regular funds through a qualified CFP help in discipline.

 
 
Understanding Sector and Thematic Funds

 
 

You hold infrastructure, commodities, auto, and manufacturing funds. These sectors are cyclical.

 
 

These can give sudden highs, but also long flat phases. SIP in sector funds may not suit everyone.

 
 

Keep exposure limited to 10-15% of portfolio. Don’t exceed this.

 
 

Sectoral funds need regular review. If the cycle turns, exit and shift to diversified funds.

 
 

Infrastructure and auto can be held longer term. But commodities and manufacturing are highly volatile.

 
 
Importance of Professional Guidance

 
 

You are handling Rs. 2.8 lakh monthly. That’s a large portfolio in the making.

 
 

A certified financial planner helps in making fund selection efficient.

 
 

They offer risk alignment, taxation insights, rebalancing strategy and emotional handholding.

 
 

Avoid trial and error. Stick with a long-term plan. Don’t get influenced by social media noise.

 
 

Emotional investing hurts performance. A CFP brings clarity and structure.

 
 
Asset Allocation for 43-Year-Old Aggressive Investor

 
 

Let’s look at a suggested structure for you.

 
 

Large Cap + Flexicap + Large & Mid Cap Funds: Around 40-45%

 
 

Mid Cap Funds: Around 25-30%

 
 

Small Cap Funds: Not more than 15%

 
 

Sectoral + Thematic Funds: Around 10%

 
 

Balanced / Hybrid Fund: 5-10% for cushioning market corrections

 
 

This brings balance, growth and flexibility.

 
 
Avoiding Common Pitfalls

 
 

You are already advanced in your investing. Still, let’s watch out for some key mistakes.

 
 

Don't Chase Past Returns: Every year’s winner won’t repeat. Look at long-term consistency.

 
 

Avoid Frequent Switching: Let SIPs run for 5-7 years to show full potential.

 
 

Don’t React to Market News: Volatility is natural. Stay calm. Don’t stop SIPs in correction.

 
 

Monitor Fund Manager Changes: If a top-performing fund loses its manager, review it closely.

 
 

Track Portfolio, Not Just Individual Funds: Overall performance matters, not one or two funds.

 
 
MF Taxation Update as per 2024 Rules

 
 

New tax rules are important. Let’s simplify them for you.

 
 

Equity MF LTCG: Above Rs. 1.25 lakh gain per year taxed at 12.5%

 
 

Equity MF STCG: Short-term capital gains taxed at 20%

 
 

Debt MFs: All gains taxed as per your income tax slab. No LTCG benefit now.

 
 

So it’s even more important to hold funds for 3-5 years minimum.

 
 
Finally

 
 

You have done the most important part – start early, invest regularly, and increase investment over time.

 
 

But now the next step is to simplify, consolidate and add structure.

 
 

Cut down fund count. Avoid theme overload. Maintain allocation. Stick to long term.

 
 

Have a goal-based approach with a certified financial planner. Stay calm in market corrections.

 
 

Your portfolio can create real wealth. Just stay disciplined and focused.

 
 

Best Regards,
 
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
 
Chief Financial Planner
 
www.holisticinvestment.in
 
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8314 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2025

Money
Hello. should i continue investing in Hybrid equity funds or should i shift those funds to midcap and index funds??
Ans: You are currently investing in hybrid equity funds.
Now you're thinking of shifting to midcap or index funds.

Let’s analyse each of these based on your possible goals and situation.

First, Let’s Understand Hybrid Equity Funds
Hybrid equity funds balance equity and debt in one fund.

They offer stability from debt and growth from equity.

They are good if you want moderate returns with lower volatility.

Suitable if your goal is 3 to 5 years away or if you are conservative.

Gives a smoother ride during market ups and downs.

What Happens If You Move to Midcap Funds?
Midcap funds invest in medium-sized companies with high growth potential.

But midcap funds are very volatile in the short term.

Risk is much higher, though potential return is also higher.

If your goal is more than 7 years away, and you can handle ups and downs, only then consider midcap funds.

Don’t shift to midcaps just because of recent past returns.

Midcaps require strong patience and discipline during market corrections.

What About Index Funds?
Index funds are passive funds that copy the market index.

They do not try to beat the market returns. They only match it.

They look attractive due to low cost, but they come with no downside protection.

When market falls, index funds fall fully with the market.

No active manager is there to protect you or take advantage of opportunities.

Returns are limited to index performance. No extra gain possible.

In fact, when markets are sideways or falling, index funds underperform active funds.

Key Disadvantages of Index Funds (You Must Know)
No flexibility during market ups and downs.

Zero risk management by fund manager.

Index funds follow index blindly, even if companies in index are poor.

If market goes down 30%, index fund will also fall 30%.

You are on your own, with no expert adjusting portfolio.

Index funds underperform actively managed funds in India over long term, especially in mid and small caps.

Index investing may look attractive in theory, but in real-world, it is less flexible and more risky.

Why Staying in Hybrid Equity Funds May Be Better
You get a good balance of risk and reward.

Debt portion cushions fall during market crash.

Better suited for income generation, goal planning, and retirement strategy.

Actively managed hybrid funds give better flexibility and better returns in volatile markets.

Hybrid funds have performed better than index funds in falling markets.

If You Want to Grow More Aggressively
You can slowly start investing a small part into actively managed midcap funds.

Start with 10%-15% of your portfolio in midcap.

Keep rest in hybrid funds for stability.

Increase midcap exposure only if you are comfortable with the volatility.

Don’t move entire amount to midcap or index funds at once.

Don’t Invest in Direct Funds (Important Insight)
Direct funds may look like they give more returns.

But in reality, you miss professional guidance and ongoing review.

Investing without a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and MFD support leads to poor choices.

Many people choose wrong funds or wrong time to exit.

Regular plans with a good CFP and MFD help you stay disciplined and goal-focused.

Advice matters more than saving 0.5% cost in direct plans.

Final Insights
Hybrid funds give balanced growth and peace of mind.

Midcap funds are good, but only for long-term investors with high risk capacity.

Index funds look simple, but have no risk control and no potential to outperform.

Don’t shift completely from hybrid to index or midcap funds.

Stay in hybrid funds, and add midcap gradually under expert guidance.

Always invest through regular plans with support from a CFP-qualified MFD.

Ensure your portfolio is aligned with your goals, risk profile, and timeline.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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