Hi Anu, I am in a relationship with a girl from my office for nearly 1.5 years now. We both speak Marathi only sub caste is different.
At start of our relationship we discussed about it as she tells me her parents will not support her, so I convinced her that I will support her in every way possible to convince her parent and will stand with her though every situation.
I am 31 years old and she is 27. Her parents told her that she has 2 years for marriage so she is currently focusing on career right now.
My parents are forcing me for marriage. As her family has issues with my subcaste and she is not willing to disclose our relationship for another 2 years. So I told her that I will wait for 1 year then we can disclose our relationship to both families mines and her, if your family agrees we can wait for one more year so that she can focus on career and she can get 2 years as per her parents.
Moreover I will always support her in career and family issues. But still she is not ready she told me that she will not tell her family about our relationship until 2 years are complete.
Can you please suggest me any solution for this?
Ans: Dear TG,
At this point, what is missing for you possibly is if after the wait, if she will still be there in the relationship?
If she isn’t willing to complicate her family life at this point in time, I guess she has valid reasons for that which must be respected.
But what If the two of you sit down where you can put down your feelings and find an amicable way of easing this.
I am sure there are a lot of ifs and buts that is making you feel the way that you are. It is only imperative that you called out to her and be firm and assertive as to how this might be playing in your mind.
For all you know, once she hears your side of the story and she shares hers, solutions emerge from that especially when the commitment is strong.
So, have that one meaningful conversation where feelings, fears and insecurities are shared and watch how the two of you will come up with something wonderful as a solution.
All the best!
