Off late ( 4-5 months ) iam experiencing extreme anxiety during flying. It was not there before. Also the recent airline accident and reading news reports about flight technical snags are adding to my worry. My job profile requires me frequency travel and i cannot avoid it. Can you pls advice me on some relaxation techniques or methods to calm myself while flying.

Ans: Dear SD, Welcome to this Fear of Flying Club! Many of us, and that once included me as well have certain fears when it comes to flying.

When I went deeper into my mind to lay these fears to rest once and for all, it was no surprise to see that for me, it was about not having control. Now obviously, what control am I going to have mid-air?

Like on roads, we are familiar with driving and have full view of the traffic ahead and this feels comfortable as we have a certain degree of control.

Mid-air, we suddenly are pushed out of our comfort zones. Ask yourself: What can I do to have the same level of familiarity? What you can model of the roads in air, is only through your imagination.

Since you have some hands-on-experience as I understand through your friend who is a pilot, imagine being one and taking charge.

Yes, though you are far away from the cockpit and in the passenger seat, your mind can frame you as a pilot sitting and having the control in his hands.

Go through an entire flight recreating the thrill that a pilot has when he/she takes charge right from entering the cockpit to landing the plane.

You may actually talk to your friend and ask him this entire experience. Simply mimic that feeling in your mind’s eye as the flight takes off the ground.

Does this help? Oh yes! Because fear crops in the mind as stories that we fuel; which means we are definitely in a position to extinguish this fuel by doing just the opposite and giving the mind a different experience that will lead to a calm and happier experience. Happy Flying!

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Ans: Anxiety is a common condition, increasing in prevalence due to a fast and urban lifestyle. There are many anxiety reducing measures like, keeping a good routine, eating healthy, exercising regularly and ensuring the same time for sleep and waking up on a daily basis. Meditation/yoga/chanting are excellent practices to alleviate anxiety. In addition having a hobby one is interested in also helps. However if the anxiety is quite severe, medications may be necessary to control it for a few weeks while you can start instituting these measures. Once anxiety is in control and the lifestyle changes have been put in place, you can slowly reduce the medications.

Ans: Dear Bhawna,
It would have helped to know your age...anyway, anxiety and stress when your husband and child are not around suggests that you seek the company of people to keep you calm. Find your calm within you because it is not possible to have people around you all the time to feel at peace.
Distract yourself with a hobby and a good social circle. Slowly start to take time out for yourself to do something other than just managing home and your child. Drop Goals down for studies/career and chart a clear path to achieve them. When you have a sense of purpose/a goal that gets you excited, you will not have the time or the inclination to become anxious and instead will feel joy and excitement.
Identify what you can do different to feel different and happier.

All the best!

Ans: Dear 24 yr old, beautiful soul, I am happy you are looking for peace. Let me tell you, peace and happiness should be the only targets in life, everything else is just riff raff. Take care that you value your inner peace more than anything else in your life...anything , everything and anyone coming in your way just needs to be cut out, don't give space to things/people who rob you of your inner peace. Till you overcome your anxiety, just avoid all that takes away your peace, avoid them physically first and then stop giving them space in your head.
Try deep breathing exercises, living in the moment, yoga, meditation....life is full of challenges, you cannot not face them, these will help you to face them with courage and clarity of thought.
Let me simplify... living in the moment right away... whatever you are doing.....let's say you are eating.. be fully present with it, involve all your senses, look at the food, smell the aroma, feel the food in your mouth, chew it and enjoy every morsel...this is being fully present in the moment. being in sync with what your body is doing and getting your mind to focus on the action completely. This is ZEN...just be fully present in every action of yours and see how powerful you become...
Let's deal with lack of sleep too...drink chamomile tea before going to bed, practice guided yoga-nidra before sleeping.
It's a vicious cycle you have got into...lack of sleep, this will lead to clouded mind, groggy mind, irritability, lack of appetite, anger, overthinking, no control over your mind and body... finally leading to anxiety.
Let's nip all this in the bud...
KEEP LIFE SIMPLE...I am just listing out your ""to do list.. without analysing it... pls just follow these for next 21 days, let's make all this into a habit for you..
1. SLEEP EARLY AND PEACEFULLY, AVOID SOCIAL MEDIA FOR ATLEAST 1 HR BFR SLEEPING
2.EAT ATLEAST 2 HOURS BEFORE GOING TO BED
3 GET 8-9 HRS OF SLEEP
4.EXPOSING YOURSELF TO THE SUN, WITHIN 15 MINUTES OF WAKING UP. SPEND TIME WITH NATURE, it is therapeutic
5. 20 MINS OF EXERCISE
6.GOOD HEALTHY BREAKFAST
7. CONSCIOUSLY EAT WELL THROUGHOUT THE DAY
8. STEER YOUR MIND TOWARDS POSITIVE THOUGHTS, BE CONCIOUS OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND BREATH
9.WHENEVER YOU FEEL ANSCIOUS, GET AWAY, EXCUSE YOURSELF ,CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR 10 MINS AND FOCUS ON YOUR
BREATHING..
10. VALUE YOUR INNER PEACE... AVOID EVERYTHING THAT DISTURBS YOU, TILL YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO SAY " NO" TO PEOPLE, SITUATIONSHIP AND ALL THE STUFF THAT CAUSES ANXIETY.

All the ACTIONS listed are doable, just DO IT and transform your life.

If you are someone who reads then, read "Practicing the power of NOW" and " STOP overthinking". Both books offer practical solutions to being in the present and ways to stop overthinking.

Looking forward to seeing you as a powerful being... fully in control of your INNER PEACE.. All the best!!