Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 25, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
krish Question by krish on Aug 22, 2025Hindi
Relationship

Off late ( 4-5 months ) iam experiencing extreme anxiety during flying. It was not there before. Also the recent airline accident and reading news reports about flight technical snags are adding to my worry. My job profile requires me frequency travel and i cannot avoid it. Can you pls advice me on some relaxation techniques or methods to calm myself while flying.

Ans: Hello Krish,
The important thing to remember is that flying itself remains one of the safest modes of travel, and your anxiety, while very real, is more about perception than actual risk.
When you notice anxiety rising before or during a flight, try focusing on your breathing first. A simple technique is the 4–7–8 method: inhale through your nose for 4 counts, hold for 7 counts, and exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 counts. This helps calm the body’s stress response. Pairing this with progressive muscle relaxation — gently tensing and releasing muscles from your feet upwards — can give your mind something to focus on and reduce the physical tension that comes with anxiety.
Visualization also works well. Before your flight, close your eyes and imagine yourself boarding calmly, settling into your seat, and landing smoothly at your destination. During the flight, picture a safe, steady path in the sky, like a road, reminding yourself that turbulence is just like bumps on that road — uncomfortable, but not dangerous.
Practical steps help too. Limit caffeine or heavy news consumption before you fly, carry calming music, podcasts, or even guided meditations on your phone, and try to keep your mind occupied with a book, work, or even puzzles. Some people find comfort in talking briefly to flight attendants — their calm and routine presence can be reassuring.
If your anxiety feels overwhelming or keeps getting worse despite these methods, it may help to work with a therapist trained in cognitive-behavioral techniques for phobias. Even a few focused sessions can equip you with tools to manage the fear more effectively.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 27, 2020

Listen
Relationship
Dear Anu, my problem is that from many years I suffer from fear of flying. I had discussed this issue with one of my acquaintance who is a pilot. He has helped me a lot in coming out of this fear and I must say I am 65 percent cured now. Main issue begins here. Whenever I have to travel through flight, anxiety overwhelms me, I start getting negative thoughts about flying, and I just keep sitting in airport and plane and don't talk to anybody and this anxiety goes only when plane lands. I know the technicalities of flying but still I am not able to control my mind and keep getting so much and many negative thoughts. I fly regularly but not able to come out of this due to which I never enjoy flying and always become tense and this anxiety is at very high level. Kindly help how can I divert my mind toward positivity and how can I stay away from all these terrible thoughts..
Ans: Dear SD, Welcome to this Fear of Flying Club! Many of us, and that once included me as well have certain fears when it comes to flying.

When I went deeper into my mind to lay these fears to rest once and for all, it was no surprise to see that for me, it was about not having control. Now obviously, what control am I going to have mid-air?

Like on roads, we are familiar with driving and have full view of the traffic ahead and this feels comfortable as we have a certain degree of control.

Mid-air, we suddenly are pushed out of our comfort zones. Ask yourself: What can I do to have the same level of familiarity? What you can model of the roads in air, is only through your imagination.

Since you have some hands-on-experience as I understand through your friend who is a pilot, imagine being one and taking charge.

Yes, though you are far away from the cockpit and in the passenger seat, your mind can frame you as a pilot sitting and having the control in his hands.

Go through an entire flight recreating the thrill that a pilot has when he/she takes charge right from entering the cockpit to landing the plane.

You may actually talk to your friend and ask him this entire experience. Simply mimic that feeling in your mind’s eye as the flight takes off the ground.

Does this help? Oh yes! Because fear crops in the mind as stories that we fuel; which means we are definitely in a position to extinguish this fuel by doing just the opposite and giving the mind a different experience that will lead to a calm and happier experience. Happy Flying!

..Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  | Answer  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Dec 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
I'm 24 yr old and I think I'm suffering from anxiety due to my overthinking nature related to career and my current situationship with a guy. Whenever I'm thinking about these two I feel shortage of breathing and empty stomach also cried a lot , find myself unable to sleep at night. I also have a short tempered nature easily got irritated and started shouting over people. I really want peace of my mind because it's slowly killing me from inside . I want to overcome .
Ans: Dear 24 yr old, beautiful soul, I am happy you are looking for peace. Let me tell you, peace and happiness should be the only targets in life, everything else is just riff raff. Take care that you value your inner peace more than anything else in your life...anything , everything and anyone coming in your way just needs to be cut out, don't give space to things/people who rob you of your inner peace. Till you overcome your anxiety, just avoid all that takes away your peace, avoid them physically first and then stop giving them space in your head.
Try deep breathing exercises, living in the moment, yoga, meditation....life is full of challenges, you cannot not face them, these will help you to face them with courage and clarity of thought.
Let me simplify... living in the moment right away... whatever you are doing.....let's say you are eating.. be fully present with it, involve all your senses, look at the food, smell the aroma, feel the food in your mouth, chew it and enjoy every morsel...this is being fully present in the moment. being in sync with what your body is doing and getting your mind to focus on the action completely. This is ZEN...just be fully present in every action of yours and see how powerful you become...
Let's deal with lack of sleep too...drink chamomile tea before going to bed, practice guided yoga-nidra before sleeping.
It's a vicious cycle you have got into...lack of sleep, this will lead to clouded mind, groggy mind, irritability, lack of appetite, anger, overthinking, no control over your mind and body... finally leading to anxiety.
Let's nip all this in the bud...
KEEP LIFE SIMPLE...I am just listing out your ""to do list.. without analysing it... pls just follow these for next 21 days, let's make all this into a habit for you..
1. SLEEP EARLY AND PEACEFULLY, AVOID SOCIAL MEDIA FOR ATLEAST 1 HR BFR SLEEPING
2.EAT ATLEAST 2 HOURS BEFORE GOING TO BED
3 GET 8-9 HRS OF SLEEP
4.EXPOSING YOURSELF TO THE SUN, WITHIN 15 MINUTES OF WAKING UP. SPEND TIME WITH NATURE, it is therapeutic
5. 20 MINS OF EXERCISE
6.GOOD HEALTHY BREAKFAST
7. CONSCIOUSLY EAT WELL THROUGHOUT THE DAY
8. STEER YOUR MIND TOWARDS POSITIVE THOUGHTS, BE CONCIOUS OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND BREATH
9.WHENEVER YOU FEEL ANSCIOUS, GET AWAY, EXCUSE YOURSELF ,CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR 10 MINS AND FOCUS ON YOUR
BREATHING..
10. VALUE YOUR INNER PEACE... AVOID EVERYTHING THAT DISTURBS YOU, TILL YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO SAY " NO" TO PEOPLE, SITUATIONSHIP AND ALL THE STUFF THAT CAUSES ANXIETY.

All the ACTIONS listed are doable, just DO IT and transform your life.

If you are someone who reads then, read "Practicing the power of NOW" and " STOP overthinking". Both books offer practical solutions to being in the present and ways to stop overthinking.

Looking forward to seeing you as a powerful being... fully in control of your INNER PEACE.. All the best!!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x