Dear Anu, my problem is that from many years I suffer from fear of flying.

I had discussed this issue with one of my acquaintance who is a pilot. He has helped me a lot in coming out of this fear and I must say I am 65 percent cured now. Main issue begins here.

Whenever I have to travel through flight, anxiety overwhelms me, I start getting negative thoughts about flying, and I just keep sitting in airport and plane and don't talk to anybody and this anxiety goes only when plane lands.

I know the technicalities of flying but still I am not able to control my mind and keep getting so much and many negative thoughts. I fly regularly but not able to come out of this due to which I never enjoy flying and always become tense and this anxiety is at very high level.

Kindly help how can I divert my mind toward positivity and how can I stay away from all these terrible thoughts..

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Ans: Dear Manoj,
What happened for you to suddenly take notice of people reacting to you?
Did someone make you conscious or aware of something that embarrassed you?
When you become extra cautious around people, it's like walking on eggshells and this becomes a habit.
Even if you had goofed up or felt embarrassed with something, it could have been just one situational context. It belongs to that context which only means that there is no necessity to develop a blanket policy and apply it onto all contexts henceforth which is what you possibly have started doing.
So,
1. Think of the context after which you started to fell this way
2. Tell yourself that, that feeling is over with that situation
3. Recall all the times that you have been assertive and confident around people
4. Remind yourself on how people used to react positively to you in a conversation with them
5. Move ahead asserting to yourself that: It's a new day and so, newer and exciting things are waiting to happen

All the best!

Ans: Dear Tapash,
Overthinking happens when you try and control the result of anything/situation. These can be from a past event or a future happening both of which are not in your control.

The simple ways to move away from overthinking are:
1. Be in the NOW; start by paying attention to what you do...even if you are brushing your teeth, observe how you are doing it, how you drink of a cup of tea/coffee, how you travel to work
2. Focus on your breath; simply observe how your breath falls and rises
3. Spend time at parks and green places; you will find yourself calming down
4. Journal; every night before you sleep, write about your day - all good and not so good
5. Express gratitude; simply being thankful can change the patterns of thinking and help you calm down

Do this everyday for a month to notice a change that you will be happy about.
If you still find that things can better, seek professional help someone who has dealt with anxiety cases. But. the one month remedy does work wonders and continue even after that month to sustain the changes...

All the best!

Ans: Dear 24 yr old, beautiful soul, I am happy you are looking for peace. Let me tell you, peace and happiness should be the only targets in life, everything else is just riff raff. Take care that you value your inner peace more than anything else in your life...anything , everything and anyone coming in your way just needs to be cut out, don't give space to things/people who rob you of your inner peace. Till you overcome your anxiety, just avoid all that takes away your peace, avoid them physically first and then stop giving them space in your head.
Try deep breathing exercises, living in the moment, yoga, meditation....life is full of challenges, you cannot not face them, these will help you to face them with courage and clarity of thought.
Let me simplify... living in the moment right away... whatever you are doing.....let's say you are eating.. be fully present with it, involve all your senses, look at the food, smell the aroma, feel the food in your mouth, chew it and enjoy every morsel...this is being fully present in the moment. being in sync with what your body is doing and getting your mind to focus on the action completely. This is ZEN...just be fully present in every action of yours and see how powerful you become...
Let's deal with lack of sleep too...drink chamomile tea before going to bed, practice guided yoga-nidra before sleeping.
It's a vicious cycle you have got into...lack of sleep, this will lead to clouded mind, groggy mind, irritability, lack of appetite, anger, overthinking, no control over your mind and body... finally leading to anxiety.
Let's nip all this in the bud...
KEEP LIFE SIMPLE...I am just listing out your ""to do list.. without analysing it... pls just follow these for next 21 days, let's make all this into a habit for you..
1. SLEEP EARLY AND PEACEFULLY, AVOID SOCIAL MEDIA FOR ATLEAST 1 HR BFR SLEEPING
2.EAT ATLEAST 2 HOURS BEFORE GOING TO BED
3 GET 8-9 HRS OF SLEEP
4.EXPOSING YOURSELF TO THE SUN, WITHIN 15 MINUTES OF WAKING UP. SPEND TIME WITH NATURE, it is therapeutic
5. 20 MINS OF EXERCISE
6.GOOD HEALTHY BREAKFAST
7. CONSCIOUSLY EAT WELL THROUGHOUT THE DAY
8. STEER YOUR MIND TOWARDS POSITIVE THOUGHTS, BE CONCIOUS OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND BREATH
9.WHENEVER YOU FEEL ANSCIOUS, GET AWAY, EXCUSE YOURSELF ,CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR 10 MINS AND FOCUS ON YOUR
BREATHING..
10. VALUE YOUR INNER PEACE... AVOID EVERYTHING THAT DISTURBS YOU, TILL YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO SAY " NO" TO PEOPLE, SITUATIONSHIP AND ALL THE STUFF THAT CAUSES ANXIETY.

All the ACTIONS listed are doable, just DO IT and transform your life.

If you are someone who reads then, read "Practicing the power of NOW" and " STOP overthinking". Both books offer practical solutions to being in the present and ways to stop overthinking.

Looking forward to seeing you as a powerful being... fully in control of your INNER PEACE.. All the best!!