Dear Anu, I would like to be anonymous.
Long story short, after two years of my marriage, my husband’s best friend’s wife shifted to India from abroad and applied for divorced, because she found her husband was a womanizer.
Both husband and wife stayed with us during that time, husband tried his best to persuade me to have an intimate relationship with him, I refused, I told my husband about it and he asked me to keep quiet.
Somehow a friend's wife filed a divorce case and the husband was virtually thrown out of the house, the case went messy.
We supported her in all possible ways. For 4 years every weekend we spend with her. And I saw that she was getting too possessive about my husband, I told this to my husband, he refuted.
In front of him only she would insult me and he would just keep quiet.
Our intimacy was gone, it was he who said he is not interested in intimacy anymore.
We stopped sharing a bedroom, during this lockdown after 8 years of stay at home mother, I was applying for jobs and attending interviews. I was at my possible lows.
Suddenly my husband became friendly and started talking about dogs, he wanted a pet, since he doesn't have time to care for it and I was not mentally prepared for any extra responsibility so I said no for the time being.
Instead he went ahead with her and asked her to buy one for us without informing me.
She called to inform me that she had ordered one from the breeder and it would be delivered the next morning.
I told her to cancel that. Not only this, she has called my daughter and informed her too that she is gifting the dog to her.
I told my husband that I want to walk out of this marriage, we had fought for more than a month.
I called her and told that 'This is it,' never to call my house or talk to me again.
After a month my husband went to her house with our daughter.
He has asked her to lie that they did not go there but my daughter came back and told me.
I feel cheated by my husband whenever the dog is around, it’s a poor animal.
I give food and take care of it but my anger and resentment is not coming down. I want to leave the marriage, because I feel there is no end to it. Please help me.
Ans: Dear S D, This seems all very M&B type of romance. Well, who am I to judge?
But, do be aware that it has slowly but surely progressed into a connection that obviously doesn't make you feel comfortable.
You have questions about it that are unanswered and doubts that are eating at the foundation of the relationship.
Now, to make it more messy, your daughter seems to be part of this too without her knowledge. Time to intervene. Sit your husband down and please sort this mess out before it grows bigger.
Does he want to continue in the marriage or not? If yes, lay down some ground rules and a strict NO to the other lady stepping in even if she cries foul.
And if he wants to move on, that’s a different situation at hand.
Talk to a therapist to deal with separation/divorce and if through the sessions, there are chances of working on the marriage, great! Take a call and do that NOW.
Make wise choices and best wishes!
