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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Kavya Question by Kavya on May 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

But he is never ready for any counselling. Even my parents tried to counsel him. Since our marriage the relationship with his parents got strained and neither of us talk to them. I feel that must be one reason. He never talks openly about anything to me. I try to show love to him in many ways. But i don't know what exactly he wants. He never answers basic questions of what he wants to eat today. How are you feeling and all. I feel so emotionally detached from him. Even when I cry or be sad he never tries to console me. In these years i never saw him completely joyful. Whenever I ask him he says I'm the way I'm. I was always like this. I'm a very joyful talkative person. He is polar opposite. Even a small joke is crack he never understands them and additionally he even feels irritated. I'm changing day by day. More serious, not enjoying, not going out. It's like I have given up on my little happiness.

Ans: First, recognize that your happiness and well-being are important. While it's commendable that you've tried to support your husband and show him love in many ways, it's also crucial to take care of yourself. Make time for activities that bring you joy and help you recharge, whether it's spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies, or simply taking a break for yourself.

Second, consider expressing your feelings to your husband in a calm, non-confrontational way. Share how his lack of communication and emotional detachment are affecting you. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory, such as, "I feel lonely and disconnected when we don't communicate or share moments of joy."

Since he resists counseling, look for alternative ways to open up communication. Sometimes indirect approaches, like writing him a letter, can help express your feelings without immediate pressure. If he continues to resist, focus on creating a supportive environment where he might eventually feel more comfortable opening up.

It's also important to reflect on your own boundaries and limits. If you've been trying to reach out and improve the relationship but see no reciprocation, consider what you're willing to accept and where you might need to draw the line for your own mental and emotional health.

Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or support groups. Talking to others who understand can provide emotional relief and practical advice. Even if he is unwilling to attend counseling, you might benefit from individual therapy to help process your feelings and develop coping strategies.

Finally, if the situation remains unchanged and continues to impact your well-being, it may be necessary to evaluate your long-term options. Your happiness and mental health are vital, and you deserve to be in a relationship where your emotional needs are met.

Remember that you're not alone, and it's okay to seek help and take steps to ensure your own well-being. Your efforts to maintain the relationship are commendable, but it's also important to recognize when it's time to prioritize yourself.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 25, 2022

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Relationship
Hi, me and my husband are married for 12 years now, we have a daughter. Both of us are totally different, like north and south pole. He is very extrovert, tries to be the centre of attention, always needs his social circle, his work, friends circle is all that matters to him. I am a total introvert. I don't care about having friends, I hate parties, all that matters to me is my family. First few years, he made me feel that I am a misfit in this world and I had a huge pressure to be an extrovert like him. He was always like how can this famous Mr Extrovert can have such an introvert wife, that's so shameful. I tried changing myself because I was so desperate for his love and respect. All that mattered to him was my looks, how I conducted myself in front of people and after pregnancy, all that bothered him was my weight gain. I started hating myself, believed that maybe I just don't deserve to be loved. I went into depression after pregnancy. I had to leave my job to take care of my baby, his mom who was bed ridden by then, his dad who had serious health issues. I told him, thought he would at least care then. It took him 3 years after that to even come with me to a psychiatrist. He never cared. I always thought it’s my fault, tried to patch things up but now I am tired, really tired. I feel suffocated. I am afraid of separating from him. As a person, he is good but we are totally misfit for each other. I still cannot come to terms with all the emotional abuse I went through. He didn't intend to harm me, he thought he is only helping me to improve and be better but now, I don't know what to do, I am not happy.
Ans:

Dear SN, It’s a wonder why anyone would go to such lengths to change themselves for another; especially their personalities: what makes them who they are! All in the name of saving relationships and love.

True love within a relationship doesn’t demand that the other person change themselves upside down, but it embraces who the other person is unconditionally.

And what makes you think that an extroverted person has the right to change an introverted person?

Did you try and change him to be like you? No! Then why is the reverse even being given so much importance. Also, your husband does not any right to mock you!

His world is different from yours as much as your world is different from yours. And kindly remember: Extroverts (if you want to label them), ate people who are happy with a lot of company around them, are vocal about liking being in a crowd and having a good time spending time with people.

They are not ones who poke fun at the way their spouses look, try and change them to suit their personalities.

So, who you are living with right now is a man with very poor self-esteem and huge insecurities and is blaming you for these and trying to change you will make him feel better.

Do not feed into this game; as once you begin to show that you will yield to his demands, that’s all you are going to do for life. He has to change from within!

He has to understand that what is going on within him is the cause of his misery and not you. But of course, doing something for a spouse even when you don’t like it has to be out of your own will and not forced. Now you take a call as to how you are going to deal with this in your marriage.

READ WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN: He didn't intend to harm me, he thought he is only helping me to improve and be better!

Do you really need help or does he? You have started to actually believe that you are at fault and that it is your problem.

Bottom line: You change only if you wish to and that too with things that don’t challenge your value systems. Never be forced into anything; period!

Either sit him down and assert this point or ask him to visit a professional to take care of his state of mind.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

Relationship
I want to keep it anonymous.I am a 30 years old independent woman married for 5 months only.My husband and I were in same college but were not friends.He had been approaching me for getting married since 2017, but every time I had rejected his proposal, later in February, 2021 I talked to him openly and mentioned my inability to conceive if we get married.To which his response was that he really liked me and is ready to accept me with my inability.I made our families met and we got engaged.During the one year of courtship period, initial 4-5 months were peaceful, but he and I were missing a bond, yet we thought may be with time we will find it.After the initial phase as we started meeting for family functions.He started finding flaws in me. Things like, I stare at other men when I go out, I don’t give him priority, why do I talk to any male friend beyond necessity, why do I praise my senior at office parties etc.He started controlling me in these areas and used to get angry if I talk to my siblings late night.I started feeling trapped and suffocated, and always under the fear that any of my action could make my husband angry.In that anger he seemed like a very different person, someone aggressive.We started fighting, arguing over petty things.He wanted me to change but I was reluctant as those were very normal things for me and I started telling him that this relationship is not working.We are two persons with different mindset and ideologies and since we are unable to reach to a solution over any issue, let’s call it off.I tried to call this wedding off for like 6 times, but he never agreed to this stating that he loves me and he will change his attitude and will not stop me from doing anything.Whenever I tried to break up with him he'd start crying, stating things like you are my only happiness in life, and I would die without you and all.I involved my family into the matter and shared things with them.They used to call my husband to make him understand my expectations from him.In front of them my husband used to admit that he would change his behaviour.He used to stay calm for 5-6 days and then continue with the same attitude.Basically, it was an on and off behaviour from his side and because of that my behaviour was also affected.I was trying to see his positive side as he had accepted me with my inability, so he must be a good person.Somehow, after so many issues, we got married.After marriage, we went for honeymoon, but he showed a different attitude.He started insulting me that I stare at other people, including the waiter.He would fight with me aggressively, and when I cry he'd calm me down stating that this fight is my fault; had I not done this he would not have fought; had I obeyed him he would not have gotten angry. Then he used to make love to me.For 4 days this happened continuously.On the 4th day I told him I cannot stand him and bear his mind numbing torture.If he sees so many flaws in my character we must part our ways, and there is not point of staying together.He agreed but later he started apologising, asking for another chance to this marriage. I agreed.But his behaviour didn’t improve much. We used to live with his parents, he started taking active participation in local politics which used to keep him busy.He started controlling me indirectly for visiting my moms and relatives.He'd taunt me for not sharing my salary with his parents.Later I found out his work is not running smooth and he is not making enough.The issue of staring at men and shaking hands with men while greeting congratulations, was also an issue to him.He'd remain normal as long as I did things as per his wish.If I said or did anything opposite, he'd get aggressive and disrespectful towards me.Love was nowhere around. He never said I am a good looking woman. My husband rarely complimented me though I get many whenever I go out.He seemed not to be bothered about me except for the time I do something he doesn’t like.My mom also supported him. His behaviour started taking a toll on my mental condition and I started feeling uncomfortable around him.I stopped being physical as I was feeling emotionally detached.The fights had broken me, my bare minimum expectations were not fulfilled.My husband also broke relations with my family and was disrespectful to them.Initially he had promised that I will be free to visit my mom whenever I want and he will not seek my salary ever or doubt my character, but nothing turned to be true.After 4 months of torture, I came to my mom's place and told my husband that I cannot live with him.I actually feel much better without him. As soon as he knew that I am leaving him he has surrendered and is admitting that he made mistakes and doesn’t want to lose me.He says I am his only hope in life and he loves me a lot and can’t live without me.He does the same emotional drama every time I try to part ways with him.My family is pressurising me to give him another chance. But my trust is shattered beyond repair.He made my cry, he pushed me into depression.I do not respect him. He accepted me with my inability, but I feel he never liked the real me.He is not ready to admit this fact that we have not been good for each other.To me he seems like a male chauvinist, a dominating and controlling person.He stays grumpy most of the time, behaves well with others but is arrogant with family members.What do I do? I am in utter confusion, I am unable to force myself into a love-less marriage and my family and husband doesn’t understand it.(I am a government officer and my husband runs a small business)
Ans:

Dear MK,

This is a classic case of crying out, blaming the spouse for the crying and sending her on a guilt trip, promising to do better, not following through and when she walks out, crying out again.

It's cyclical and traps you within in the loop.

He really needs to work out his stuff with a professional, else this is going to be something that you have to deal with repeatedly.

To not be able to take responsibility for his actions, shifting blame onto you, acting insecure and preventing you from leading your life the way that you are used to -- like talking to your family and friends -- are all red flags.

Step up, take charge and suggest that he goes to a professional if he wants the marriage to work.

If he doesn’t and continues the same way, you know what you must do to secure yourself and your life.

All the best!

    ..Read more

    Kanchan

    Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

    Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2024

    Asked by Anonymous - Sep 23, 2023Hindi
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    Relationship
    We are married for the past 15 years and we both were divorced at the time of our marriage. We are in 50's, well earning, with grown up kids (from previous marraiges) who are studing abroad. I feel all my issues are left unaddressed and whenever i bring them up, my husband shuts down. I always speak my mind and he never responds. Just silent. Now i feel that i should spend the rest of my life at some ashram, where i am not required to speak, and live a simple life. I can call you for more details if you can share your number
    Ans: I understand that you're feeling frustrated and unheard in your marriage. It can be incredibly challenging when communication breaks down in a relationship, especially when important issues are left unaddressed. However, it's important to remember that seeking support and making decisions about your future should be done carefully and thoughtfully.

    Before making any major decisions, I encourage you to consider the following steps:

    Seek Counseling: Couples counseling can be incredibly beneficial in addressing communication issues and working through relationship challenges. A trained therapist can help facilitate productive conversations and provide guidance on how to navigate difficult topics.

    Express Your Needs: Clearly communicate to your husband the importance of addressing the issues in your relationship. Let him know how his silence makes you feel and express your desire for open and honest communication.

    Explore Individual Therapy: Consider seeking individual therapy for yourself to explore your feelings and gain clarity on what you want for your future. A therapist can provide support, guidance, and insight as you navigate this challenging time.

    Consider Your Options: It's important to carefully consider your options before making any decisions about your future, including spending time at an ashram. Reflect on what you truly want and what will bring you the most fulfillment and happiness in the long term.

    Take Time for Self-Care: Prioritize self-care and focus on activities and practices that bring you joy and fulfillment. Taking care of yourself emotionally and physically is essential as you navigate this challenging time.

    Reach Out for Support: Lean on friends, family members, or support groups for emotional support and guidance. Surrounding yourself with people who care about you can provide comfort and perspective as you work through your relationship issues.

    ..Read more

    Anu

    Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

    Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

    Asked by Anonymous - Dec 14, 2024
    Relationship
    Recently, we had an Arranged Marriage. Before committing for the Marriage, we had a few Months of Courtship Period & got to understand each other well. He seemed to be a very Loving & Caring Person. Once, He asked me whether I was Virgin, I lied saying that I was, because I didn't want to lose such a Wonderful Guy. On our Wedding Night, he got Suspicious as I didn't bleed. Upon further Interrogation, I broke down & confessed the Truth that I had been Sexually Active in my previous Relationships, before getting Married to him. He got Disappointed as he felt Cheated & Betrayed. Since then, he's been sleeping in a seperate Room & not even talking to me properly, there's no Romance between us, at all. He'd also cancelled our Honeymoon Trip to Bali. He comes Home late, often having eaten out, doesn't ask me anything about my Day or even Care about me at all. He's become quite opposite of what he was, during our Courtship Period. Many times, I've tried to break the Ice & build some Chemistry between us, but he told me that he lost all Feelings for me, and he wouldn't even Care if I left him & his House for Good. He was Ready to give me a Divorce, if I wanted to Leave him. But I don't want to throw away this Marriage, I want to try & make it work, but there's no Cooperation at all from his side. He blatantly refused to go for Marriage Counseling with me. In the presence of other Family Members, he tries to act like a normal Husband, just to maintain his image in the Society. But when we both are alone at Home, he acts as if I don't even exist. Now I am getting frustrated, I don't understand what to do? I don't regret all that I did in my Past, I had the Right to Enjoy my Life, when I was Young & Unmarried & I don't owe any Explanation to anyone, about my Past. Now I feel I am being treated too Coldly just for a little White Lie. Did I really do something so Wrong that I don't even deserve to be Loved by the Person, I Married? If it leads to a Divorce, we both have got a lot to lose out on, hence I am trying to avoid the extreme Decision. But I don't have any idea as to how our Marriage can be Repaired & Rejuvenated, when my Husband is not at all interested in the Marriage? Please advise me what to do.
    Ans: Dear Anonymous,
    If you understand him, your virginity meant a lot to him...that was one of his core beliefs that one preserves their virginity until marriage. Now, he feels cheated as what he believes in has gone against him. It seems very old-fashioned to want the bride to 'bleed' on the first night and conclude that she isn't pure...I get your point, but that are his values...
    Can he change and actually look at things differently and save the marriage? YES only if he wants to...he has to commit to it...

    For you, the fear of losing him made you hide the fact. Who's right and who isn't? Neither! It's all a matter of the way you look at it; each one will hold their impressions as the truth. So, he's holding onto what he feels is his truth and unwilling to budge and make the marriage work. What can you do? Perhaps apologize for hurting him; he is hurt and angry, isn't it?

    It may seem trivial and foolish to you that he gives this so much importance in this day and age. You can't shake people off their beliefs. Anything that you hide eventually comes to bite you; so act wisely...
    - talk to him about how you feel about him and the marriage
    - tell him what he means to you and why you hid the facts that was most important to him
    - lastly apologize to him from your heart

    All this may seem 'going over the top' BUT hey, you wish to make the marriage work, right? At times, going that extreme bit can bring back things...So, if there's a 'Feminist' side of you that seems to disagree, keep that at bay for a while and ask: Do I want the marriage?
    If YES, then do what it takes...

    All the best!
    Anu Krishna
    Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
    Drop in: www.unfear.io
    Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

    ..Read more

    Anu

    Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

    Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 10, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
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    Relationship
    Hi Anu I need advice for my marriage. Ours was love cum arrange marriage 14 yrs ago.For first few years all was good .I am financially independent with good salary. My spouse s self employed. We hav one child 10 yrs old.My married s become more like a suffocating situation which I am not able to change.My husband is not at all interested in me now.He treats me invisible when it comes to husband wife relationship. He s good father and human being.But since last few yrs i am not having any emotional relationship with him.We spent so many days and time together yet not a single word of love emotions between us.He s busy with his calls mobile netflix all night while i keep awake all night.I have confronted him many times everytime he says you are always fighting with me and Want all this nonsense. He seem to avoid me all day. He want to discuss about his son and finances since i am earning more than him. its been years i cant handle it now.I want someone to look at me talk to me praise me love me.I deserve happiness but since my son is too small i can't think of living separately but i will die like this one day.I dont knw whats wrong with me seems its like he dont want to touch me as there s no physical relationship between us if we are home alone also.He tortures me mentally but remails happy.I failed as a wife despite giving my everything. I have none to discuss such embarrassing life .Pls advice what shall i do ?Should i found someone else as i dont have capacity to beg again and again?Its very difficult to imagine such long life with a partner who treats u invisible since years ?shall i shift to another city with my son?I am completely lost.Pls help everything. I cant beg for love and attention everytime
    Ans: Dear Anonymous,
    There's almost and always a reason for any behavior change. Maybe you might want to understand what exactly made your husband lose interest in you. Did something happen for him to look the other way?
    It's really hell living with a spouse who cold shoulders and stone walls you...My suggestion: Rather than blame yourself, have a discussion and not confrontation with him. Confrontations invariably lead you nowhere as you will be caught in an ego tussle. Discussion is where you try and understand what's on his mind and share how you feel.
    Now, will he want that? Maybe not...but if this continues, you may want to give him an ultimatum. He must know that he isn't making a great point by ignoring you and that he must communicate the same with you instead.

    All the best!
    Anu Krishna
    Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
    Drop in: www.unfear.io
    Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

    ..Read more

    Latest Questions
    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
    Money
    Good Morning Sir, I am having a Mutual Fund portfolio of 3.7 Crores, Savings account balance in India of 10 lacs, and PPF/Sukanya Samriddhi/NPS of around 30 lacs. My savings account in UAE has about 30 lacs. I have lost my job and am currently trying to get one. We will be in the UAE till July so that my daughter can complete her school year. If I get a job by then, it will be great; but if not, will I be able to retire with these funds? Please assume that the UAE savings account will be depleted by July during relocation. Kindly suggest.
    Ans: Your financial discipline over many years deserves appreciation.
    You stayed invested with patience.
    You built wealth across countries.
    This foundation gives you real confidence now.

    » Current Life Stage and Context
    – You are facing temporary job loss.
    – You are still financially independent.
    – UAE stay continues till July.
    – Relocation costs are already planned.
    – This phase needs calm decisions.
    – Fear is natural, but clarity matters.

    » Family Responsibilities Snapshot
    – You have a school-going daughter.
    – Education continuity is a priority.
    – Stability for the child matters emotionally.
    – Your planning already reflects responsibility.
    – This strengthens your overall position.

    » Asset Position Review
    – Mutual fund portfolio is Rs.3.7 Crores.
    – Indian savings account holds Rs.10 lacs.
    – Long-term savings total about Rs.30 lacs.
    – UAE savings will reduce to zero.
    – Home ownership lowers future expenses.
    – Net worth remains strong even after relocation.

    » Liquidity and Cash Comfort
    – Indian savings give immediate support.
    – Mutual funds provide large liquidity.
    – Withdrawals can be staggered wisely.
    – Forced selling is avoidable.
    – This protects capital during volatility.

    » Job Loss Impact Assessment
    – Income disruption affects confidence.
    – It does not erase financial strength.
    – You have time to decide.
    – Rushed retirement decisions harm outcomes.
    – Temporary gaps need flexible planning.

    » Can You Retire If Job Does Not Come
    – Retirement is possible with discipline.
    – It requires expense control.
    – It needs structured withdrawals.
    – Lifestyle choices become important.
    – Emotional readiness is equally critical.

    » Early Retirement Reality Check
    – Retirement at mid-forties is early.
    – Corpus must last many decades.
    – Inflation will work continuously.
    – Growth assets cannot be abandoned.
    – Balance is more important than returns.

    » Role of Mutual Funds Going Forward
    – Mutual funds remain core growth assets.
    – Equity exposure should stay meaningful.
    – Allocation should become more balanced.
    – Risk control becomes more important now.
    – Portfolio reviews must be regular.

    » Why Actively Managed Funds Suit You
    – Active funds respond to market stress.
    – Fund managers adjust sector exposure.
    – Valuation discipline is applied.
    – Index funds fall fully with markets.
    – Passive exposure increases drawdown risk.
    – Active management supports smoother retirement.

    » Managing Equity Volatility During Retirement
    – Sudden market falls can hurt withdrawals.
    – Selling equity during crashes damages corpus.
    – Withdrawal planning must protect equity.
    – Buffer assets reduce stress.
    – This approach improves sustainability.

    » Importance of Stable Assets
    – Stable assets support monthly expenses.
    – They reduce emotional reactions.
    – They protect during market corrections.
    – They fund short-term needs.
    – This gives peace of mind.

    » Role of Government-Backed Savings
    – PPF and similar provide safety.
    – Returns are predictable.
    – Liquidity rules must be respected.
    – These should not fund early expenses.
    – They act as long-term protection.

    » Expense Planning After Returning to India
    – Living in owned home lowers costs.
    – India expenses are lower than UAE.
    – Lifestyle inflation must be avoided.
    – Spending discipline extends corpus life.
    – Regular tracking becomes essential.

    » Education Planning for Your Daughter
    – Education costs will rise steadily.
    – This goal cannot face market risk alone.
    – Dedicated allocation is required.
    – Avoid mixing education money with retirement.
    – Separate mental buckets improve clarity.

    » Tax Considerations During Withdrawals
    – Equity mutual fund withdrawals attract capital gains tax.
    – Long-term gains above Rs.1.25 lakh are taxed.
    – Short-term gains attract higher tax.
    – Withdrawal sequencing reduces tax burden.
    – Proper planning avoids unnecessary taxes.

    » Health and Protection Planning
    – Health insurance must be adequate.
    – Employer cover may stop.
    – Medical inflation is severe.
    – Health costs can derail plans.
    – Protection safeguards your corpus.

    » Psychological Readiness for Retirement
    – Retirement is not only financial.
    – Loss of routine can disturb balance.
    – Purpose keeps mind active.
    – Part-time work can help.
    – Engagement supports mental health.

    » Semi-Retirement as a Practical Option
    – Consulting reduces withdrawal pressure.
    – Flexible work gives confidence.
    – Income extends corpus life.
    – Market volatility becomes easier to handle.
    – This option offers balance.

    » Time Advantage You Still Have
    – You still have working years.
    – One job changes everything positively.
    – Corpus continues to compound.
    – Do not rush permanent decisions.
    – Allow time for clarity.

    » Mistakes to Avoid Now
    – Avoid panic selling.
    – Avoid drastic asset changes.
    – Avoid chasing guaranteed returns.
    – Avoid emotional decisions.
    – Stability protects wealth.

    » Role of a Certified Financial Planner
    – Helps structure withdrawals.
    – Aligns assets with goals.
    – Manages risk during uncertainty.
    – Protects child education goals.
    – Provides clarity and confidence.

    » Final Insights
    – Your financial base is strong.
    – Retirement is possible with discipline.
    – Job income adds comfort, not necessity.
    – Balanced asset allocation is essential.
    – Active fund management suits this stage.
    – Emotional calm will protect decisions.
    – Structured planning ensures long-term peace.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
    Money
    Good Morning Sir, I am having a Mutual Fund portfolio of 3.7 Crores, Savings account balance in India of 10 lacs, and PPF/Sukanya Samriddhi/NPS of around 30 lacs. My savings account in UAE has about 30 lacs. I have lost my job and am currently trying to get one. We will be in the UAE till July so that my daughter can complete her school year. If I get a job by then, it will be great; but if not, will I be able to retire with these funds? Please assume that the UAE savings account will be depleted by July during relocation. I have my own apartment in Delhi and present age is 46 with daughter age is 13 Kindly suggest.
    Ans: Your discipline over years deserves appreciation.
    You built wealth across phases.
    You avoided lifestyle inflation.
    You planned even while abroad.
    This gives you strength now.
    Job loss does not erase past discipline.

    » Current Life Situation Assessment
    – You are 46 years old.
    – Your daughter is 13 years old.
    – You are temporarily without income.
    – UAE stay continues till July.
    – Relocation costs are already considered.
    – Emotional stress is natural now.

    » Asset Snapshot and Financial Base
    – Mutual fund portfolio is Rs.3.7 Crores.
    – Indian savings account holds Rs.10 lacs.
    – Long-term government-backed savings are Rs.30 lacs.
    – UAE savings of Rs.30 lacs will deplete.
    – You own a Delhi apartment.
    – No mention of liabilities exists.

    » Net Worth Strength Perspective
    – Financial assets remain very strong.
    – Market-linked assets dominate wealth.
    – Liquidity exists even after relocation.
    – Home ownership reduces living pressure.
    – This is a solid base.
    – Many retirees have far less.

    » Employment Gap Impact Review
    – Job loss impacts cash flow.
    – It does not destroy wealth.
    – Time gap creates anxiety.
    – Planning reduces fear.
    – Your corpus buys time.
    – Decisions must remain calm.

    » Key Question You Are Asking
    – Can I retire if job fails.
    – Can corpus last lifelong.
    – Can child education be protected.
    – Can lifestyle be sustained.
    – Can risk be managed.
    – These are valid concerns.

    » Retirement Age and Horizon View
    – Retirement at 46 is early.
    – Life expectancy is long.
    – Corpus must last decades.
    – Inflation will work continuously.
    – Growth assets remain essential.
    – Protection planning becomes critical.

    » Expense Reality After India Return
    – Living in owned home helps.
    – Rent expense becomes zero.
    – India costs are lower than UAE.
    – School expenses will continue.
    – Lifestyle moderation may be required.
    – Flexibility improves sustainability.

    » Child Education Responsibility
    – Daughter is 13 now.
    – Higher education remains ahead.
    – Education costs will rise.
    – This cannot be compromised.
    – Planning must ring-fence this goal.
    – Separate allocation is necessary.

    » Current Liquidity Comfort
    – Indian savings give short-term support.
    – Mutual funds give long-term strength.
    – PPF and similar give safety.
    – Liquidity is adequate now.
    – Emergency comfort exists.
    – Panic actions are avoidable.

    » Can You Retire Immediately
    – Technically possible with discipline.
    – Practically requires lifestyle alignment.
    – Emotionally may feel uncomfortable.
    – Job income adds safety.
    – Partial work may help.
    – Full stop is not mandatory.

    » Semi-Retirement as a Middle Path
    – Consulting work can reduce pressure.
    – Part-time roles give confidence.
    – Income reduces withdrawal stress.
    – Corpus continues compounding.
    – Psychological comfort improves.
    – This is often ideal.

    » Withdrawal Risk Awareness
    – Early retirement faces sequence risk.
    – Market downturns can hurt withdrawals.
    – Timing matters greatly.
    – Structured withdrawal planning is critical.
    – Random redemptions harm corpus.
    – Discipline protects longevity.

    » Mutual Fund Portfolio Role
    – Mutual funds remain growth engine.
    – They must be managed actively.
    – Asset allocation matters more now.
    – Aggression should slowly reduce.
    – Quality focus becomes key.
    – Overlapping exposure must be reviewed.

    » Why Active Management Matters Now
    – Active funds adjust during downturns.
    – Valuations are monitored.
    – Risk is controlled dynamically.
    – Index exposure falls fully.
    – Drawdowns can be harsh.
    – Active oversight suits retirees better.

    » Debt Allocation Importance
    – Debt provides stability.
    – Debt funds withdrawals calmly.
    – Debt avoids forced equity selling.
    – It smoothens cash flow.
    – Peace of mind improves.
    – Balance is essential now.

    » Role of Government-Backed Savings
    – PPF and similar give safety.
    – They provide predictability.
    – Liquidity rules must be respected.
    – They support capital protection.
    – Keep them untouched longer.
    – They act as anchor.

    » Managing Market Volatility Emotionally
    – Job loss increases fear.
    – Markets amplify emotions.
    – Avoid reacting to headlines.
    – Follow pre-set plan.
    – Review annually only.
    – Emotional discipline is wealth.

    » Tax Awareness During Withdrawals
    – Equity withdrawals attract capital gains tax.
    – Long-term gains above Rs.1.25 lakh are taxed.
    – Short-term gains attract higher tax.
    – Withdrawal sequencing matters.
    – Tax efficiency improves longevity.
    – Planning avoids surprises.

    » What You Should Avoid Now
    – Avoid panic selling.
    – Avoid liquidating entire equity.
    – Avoid chasing guaranteed returns.
    – Avoid lending informally.
    – Avoid untested products.
    – Simplicity protects capital.

    » Health and Insurance Angle
    – Health cover must be strong.
    – Job-linked cover may end.
    – Family protection is critical.
    – Medical inflation is high.
    – Review coverage immediately.
    – This safeguards corpus.

    » Lifestyle Adjustment Reality
    – Retirement needs conscious spending.
    – Wants must be filtered.
    – Needs must be secured.
    – Child education stays priority.
    – Travel plans may adjust.
    – Control gives confidence.

    » Psychological Side of Early Retirement
    – Identity loss may occur.
    – Work gives structure.
    – Social engagement matters.
    – Purpose prevents anxiety.
    – Financial independence is not idleness.
    – Mental planning is vital.

    » Time as Your Biggest Asset
    – You still have years.
    – Corpus can still grow.
    – One good job changes picture.
    – Do not rush decisions.
    – Allow six to twelve months.
    – Calm thinking improves outcomes.

    » Role of a Certified Financial Planner
    – Helps structure withdrawals.
    – Aligns assets with life stages.
    – Prevents emotional mistakes.
    – Reviews asset allocation.
    – Protects child goals.
    – Adds clarity in uncertainty.

    » Final Insights
    – Your financial base is strong.
    – Immediate retirement is possible with discipline.
    – Job income adds safety and comfort.
    – Semi-retirement is a balanced option.
    – Child education must be ring-fenced.
    – Active fund management suits your stage.
    – Liquidity and debt bring stability.
    – Patience and structure will protect your future.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

    Money
    45 years of age, self employed. I am selling my flat and after paying all taxes/capital gains should have roughly about 70 lakhs to invest. I already have 65 lakhs in MF, 95 lakhs portfolio in equity and also have couple more real estate properties where i fetch about 1 lakh.per month rental income. My monthly earning currently is irratic and annually around 10-12lakhs. No EMI , LOANS ETC. outgoing are SIP OF 60000, anything surplus I invest in equity. Child is 8 years and his education, future education, current fees all are made up for as mentioned and my wife together do SIP OF 110000 towards the same. My question is my wife and my investments are all exposed to MF AND equity. NO FD, NO OTHER diversified investments. So this income from sale of flat, do we invest in markets again or any other options are available. We have no liabilities , hence can take medium to agressive risks .
    Ans: Your discipline and clarity deserve appreciation.
    You have built assets patiently.
    You avoided unnecessary debt wisely.
    Your questions show maturity and foresight.
    This is a strong financial position already.
    Now refinement matters more than expansion.

    » Your Current Financial Strength
    – You are 45 years old.
    – You are self-employed with flexibility.
    – Annual income is irregular but healthy.
    – No loans or EMIs exist.
    – Rental income provides stability.
    – This is a strong base.

    » Asset Overview and Balance
    – Mutual fund exposure is significant.
    – Direct equity exposure is also large.
    – Real estate exposure already exists.
    – Child education planning is well handled.
    – SIP discipline is excellent.
    – Overall net worth is strong.

    » Liquidity and Cash Flow Position
    – Rental income gives steady monthly cash.
    – Business income is uneven.
    – SIP commitments are comfortably met.
    – Surplus is invested regularly.
    – Liquidity buffer needs assessment.
    – Emergency comfort matters for self-employed.

    » Risk Capacity Versus Risk Comfort
    – Risk capacity is clearly high.
    – Risk comfort also seems high.
    – However concentration risk exists.
    – Markets dominate portfolio exposure.
    – Volatility impact must be evaluated.
    – Diversification is the real concern.

    » Understanding Concentration Risk
    – Equity and mutual funds move together.
    – Market downturns affect both sharply.
    – Psychological stress can increase.
    – Liquidity may dry temporarily.
    – Long-term returns remain good.
    – But timing risk exists.

    » Your Core Question Clarified
    – You are not asking about returns.
    – You are asking about balance.
    – You want intelligent diversification.
    – You want risk-managed growth.
    – You want capital protection layers.
    – This is correct thinking.

    » Should the Rs.70 Lakhs Enter Markets Fully
    – Putting all again into markets increases concentration.
    – It magnifies timing risk.
    – Even strong investors need balance.
    – Markets may not always cooperate.
    – Partial allocation is sensible.
    – Phased deployment is wiser.

    » Importance of Staggered Investment
    – Lump sum market entry carries timing risk.
    – Volatility can impact short-term value.
    – Phased investing smoothens entry.
    – Emotion management improves.
    – Decision quality stays high.
    – Discipline matters even for experienced investors.

    » Role of Debt-Oriented Instruments
    – Debt provides stability to portfolio.
    – Debt reduces overall volatility.
    – Debt supports rebalancing later.
    – Debt gives liquidity comfort.
    – Returns are predictable.
    – Peace of mind improves decision making.

    » Why Some Debt Exposure Is Necessary
    – You are self-employed.
    – Income is irregular.
    – Markets can fall anytime.
    – Debt cushions lifestyle needs.
    – Avoid forced equity selling.
    – This protects long-term wealth.

    » Debt Mutual Funds Perspective
    – Debt funds offer flexibility.
    – They are more tax-efficient than fixed deposits.
    – Liquidity is better.
    – Suitable for medium-term goals.
    – Risk varies by fund quality.
    – Selection must be conservative.

    » Avoiding Fixed Deposits Blindly
    – Fixed deposits lock money.
    – Tax efficiency is poor.
    – Returns barely beat inflation.
    – Liquidity may have penalties.
    – Better alternatives exist.
    – Structure matters more than familiarity.

    » Hybrid and Balanced Allocation Thought
    – Hybrid funds mix growth and stability.
    – Volatility remains controlled.
    – Suitable for capital protection.
    – Good parking for part capital.
    – Helps rebalancing automatically.
    – Useful during uncertain markets.

    » Why Actively Managed Funds Suit You
    – Active managers adjust with cycles.
    – Valuations matter to them.
    – Sector rotation is managed.
    – Downside protection improves.
    – Concentration risk reduces.
    – Passive exposure lacks this flexibility.

    » Disadvantages of Index Exposure
    – Index follows markets blindly.
    – No valuation control exists.
    – Drawdowns are full impact.
    – Recovery takes patience.
    – Emotional stress increases.
    – Active management adds value here.

    » Existing Equity Portfolio Review Thought
    – Equity exposure is already high.
    – Additional equity should be selective.
    – Avoid duplication across holdings.
    – Style diversification matters.
    – Avoid over-aggression now.
    – Capital preservation gains importance.

    » Asset Allocation Direction Suggested
    – Equity should still remain majority.
    – Debt should act as stabiliser.
    – Allocation must be intentional.
    – Not reactive to market moods.
    – Review annually.
    – Adjust gradually with age.

    » Emergency and Opportunity Fund
    – Self-employed professionals need buffers.
    – At least one year expenses covered.
    – This avoids panic during downturns.
    – Opportunity buying also becomes possible.
    – Confidence improves decision making.
    – Liquidity brings power.

    » Role of Alternative Strategies
    – Avoid unregulated products.
    – Avoid opaque structures.
    – Simplicity works best.
    – Transparency builds trust.
    – Liquidity should not be compromised.
    – Focus on controllable risks.

    » Tax Efficiency Awareness
    – Capital gains planning matters.
    – Phased investing helps tax management.
    – Debt funds taxed per slab.
    – Equity taxed on withdrawal.
    – Withdrawal planning matters later.
    – Structure supports efficiency.

    » Retirement Planning Angle
    – Retirement is still distant.
    – But preparation must start.
    – Equity will power long-term growth.
    – Debt will stabilise income later.
    – Balanced build-up helps future SWP.
    – This foresight is valuable.

    » Child Goal Already Secured
    – Education planning is strong.
    – SIP discipline is excellent.
    – No need to disturb this.
    – Avoid overlapping investments.
    – Keep child goal separate.
    – This reduces confusion later.

    » Behavioural Discipline Strength
    – You already invest consistently.
    – You avoid panic actions.
    – You reinvest surplus logically.
    – This is rare.
    – Maintain this strength.
    – Do not complicate unnecessarily.

    » What Not to Do With Rs.70 Lakhs
    – Do not rush entire amount.
    – Do not chase trending assets.
    – Do not over-diversify blindly.
    – Do not keep idle long-term.
    – Do not ignore risk layering.
    – Avoid emotional decisions.

    » Suggested Deployment Philosophy
    – Divide money by purpose.
    – Some for stability.
    – Some for growth.
    – Some for liquidity.
    – Invest gradually.
    – Review annually.

    » Role of a Certified Financial Planner
    – Helps structure allocation.
    – Prevents overexposure mistakes.
    – Aligns with life goals.
    – Manages behavioural risks.
    – Reviews objectively.
    – Adds long-term value.

    » Final Insights
    – Your financial base is strong.
    – Concentration risk is the key concern.
    – Full market reinvestment needs caution.
    – Partial debt allocation improves balance.
    – Phased investing reduces timing risk.
    – Active management suits your profile.
    – Liquidity buffer is essential.
    – Structured diversification will protect and grow wealth.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

    Money
    I am 54 years old, my monthly salary is 40 K, my liability 6 lakhs loan liability and personal from 2 lakhs in ICICI bank, and 5000 two wheeler loan from hdfc and another loan of Rs, 35000 from LIC Policy pledged. I invested Rs. 58000 in stocks and Rs. 15000 in mutual funds and I have owned a residential house in kochi, Kerala No Other Savings. Pls. advise to how can I some savings at the age of 60
    Ans: You have shown courage by asking this question honestly.
    Many people avoid facing numbers at this age.
    You are taking responsibility now.
    That itself is a strong positive step.
    There is still time to improve outcomes.
    With discipline, progress is possible.

    » Current Age and Time Availability
    – You are 54 years old now.
    – Retirement planning window is around six years.
    – Time is limited but not over.
    – Focus must shift to stability and control.
    – Aggressive risks should reduce gradually.
    – Consistency matters more than return chasing.

    » Income Position Assessment
    – Monthly salary is Rs.40,000.
    – Income appears fixed and predictable.
    – Salary growth may be limited now.
    – Planning should assume stable income only.
    – Avoid depending on uncertain future hikes.
    – Savings must come from discipline.

    » Expense Awareness and Reality
    – Expenses were not detailed fully.
    – Loans indicate cash flow pressure.
    – Lifestyle spending must be reviewed honestly.
    – Small savings matter at this stage.
    – Leakages need strict control.
    – Tracking expenses becomes critical now.

    » Loan and Liability Overview
    – Total loan burden is significant.
    – Personal loan of Rs.6 lakh exists.
    – Additional Rs.2 lakh personal loan exists.
    – Two-wheeler loan EMI of Rs.5,000 runs.
    – LIC policy loan of Rs.35,000 exists.
    – Multiple loans increase stress.

    » Interest Cost Impact
    – Personal loans carry high interest.
    – Two-wheeler loan also costs more.
    – LIC policy loan reduces policy benefits.
    – High interest erodes future savings.
    – Loan control must be first priority.
    – Returns cannot beat high interest easily.

    » Asset Position Overview
    – Residential house in Kochi is owned.
    – House gives living security.
    – No rental income assumed currently.
    – House should not be sold for retirement.
    – Emotional and practical value is high.
    – Treat it as safety asset.

    » Investment Snapshot
    – Equity stock investment is Rs.58,000.
    – Mutual fund investment is Rs.15,000.
    – Total financial investments are very low.
    – This limits compounding benefits.
    – However, starting now still helps.
    – Even small steps matter.

    » Liquidity and Emergency Status
    – No clear emergency fund exists.
    – Loans indicate past emergencies.
    – Lack of emergency fund causes borrowing.
    – This cycle must stop.
    – Emergency fund is foundation.
    – Without it, savings break repeatedly.

    » Priority Reset Required
    – Retirement savings come after stability.
    – First priority is cash flow control.
    – Second priority is loan reduction.
    – Third priority is emergency fund.
    – Fourth priority is retirement investing.
    – Order matters greatly now.

    » Debt Reduction Strategy Importance
    – Reducing loans gives guaranteed returns.
    – Emotional relief also improves discipline.
    – Fewer EMIs free monthly cash.
    – Cash can redirect to savings.
    – Retirement planning needs free cash flow.
    – Debt blocks future progress.

    » Which Loan to Target First
    – Focus on highest interest loan first.
    – Personal loans usually cost the most.
    – Two-wheeler loan can follow.
    – LIC policy loan should close early.
    – Policy value should recover.
    – Avoid new borrowing strictly.

    » LIC Policy Review
    – LIC policy is pledged currently.
    – This reduces maturity value.
    – Many LIC policies give low returns.
    – Insurance and investment are mixed here.
    – Such policies hurt retirement efficiency.
    – Review purpose of this policy carefully.

    » Action on LIC Policy
    – If LIC is investment-oriented, reconsider.
    – Surrender may free funds.
    – Loan can be cleared using surrender value.
    – Remaining amount can rebuild savings.
    – Policy continuation must justify benefits.
    – Emotional attachment should be avoided.

    » Emergency Fund Creation
    – Emergency fund should cover basic expenses.
    – Target at least six months needs.
    – Start with small monthly amount.
    – Keep it separate from investments.
    – This prevents future borrowing.
    – Stability improves mental peace.

    » Retirement Goal Reality Check
    – Retirement age is close.
    – Corpus building time is short.
    – Expectations must stay realistic.
    – Focus on supplementary income creation.
    – Avoid risky return promises.
    – Capital protection becomes important.

    » Role of Equity at This Stage
    – Equity still has a role.
    – But exposure must be limited.
    – Volatility can hurt near retirement.
    – Balanced approach is needed.
    – Equity for growth.
    – Debt for stability.

    » Mutual Fund Strategy Thought Process
    – Mutual funds offer flexibility.
    – SIP helps discipline monthly savings.
    – Actively managed funds suit this phase.
    – Fund managers adjust risk dynamically.
    – This protects downside better.
    – Index funds lack such control.

    » Why Index Funds Are Risky Now
    – Index funds fall fully with markets.
    – No protection during market crashes.
    – Near retirement, recovery time is less.
    – Emotional panic risk increases.
    – Active funds manage risk better.
    – Stability matters more than matching index.

    » Direct Funds Versus Regular Funds
    – Direct funds need strong self-discipline.
    – Wrong fund choice can hurt badly.
    – No guidance during market stress.
    – Regular funds offer support.
    – Certified Financial Planner guidance helps.
    – Behaviour management is crucial now.

    » Monthly Savings Possibility
    – Even Rs.3,000 matters now.
    – Start small but stay consistent.
    – Increase amount after loan closure.
    – Automate savings immediately after salary.
    – Avoid waiting for surplus.
    – Surplus never comes automatically.

    » Expense Rationalisation Steps
    – Review subscriptions and discretionary spends.
    – Reduce non-essential expenses.
    – Delay lifestyle upgrades.
    – Focus on needs over wants.
    – Every saved rupee counts.
    – Discipline builds confidence.

    » Asset Allocation Approach
    – Majority should be stable assets.
    – Smaller portion in growth assets.
    – Avoid concentration risk.
    – Do not chase trending stocks.
    – Consistency beats speculation.
    – Preservation becomes key now.

    » Stock Investment Review
    – Existing stocks need careful review.
    – Avoid frequent trading.
    – High risk stocks should reduce gradually.
    – Capital protection matters now.
    – Reinvest proceeds wisely.
    – Emotional decisions must stop.

    » Retirement Income Planning Thought
    – Retirement income must be predictable.
    – Monthly cash flow is required.
    – Capital should last longer.
    – Avoid lump sum withdrawals.
    – Planning must support longevity.
    – Health costs may rise later.

    » Health Insurance Importance
    – Medical expenses rise with age.
    – Adequate health insurance is essential.
    – This protects retirement savings.
    – Avoid policy gaps.
    – Review coverage annually.
    – Health shocks destroy savings fast.

    » Tax Efficiency Consideration
    – Tax should be considered carefully.
    – Mutual funds offer tax efficiency.
    – Gains taxed only on withdrawal.
    – Equity gains have specific rules.
    – Debt gains taxed as per slab.
    – Planning reduces unnecessary tax.

    » Behavioural Discipline Required
    – Market volatility will test patience.
    – Avoid panic selling.
    – Avoid greed-driven buying.
    – Stick to chosen path.
    – Annual review is sufficient.
    – Emotional control is critical.

    » Role of Side Income
    – Explore small side income options.
    – Skill-based work can help.
    – Even small extra income helps.
    – Direct it fully into savings.
    – Do not increase lifestyle.
    – Purpose is retirement security.

    » Family Communication
    – Family should know limitations.
    – Set realistic expectations together.
    – Avoid financial surprises later.
    – Transparency reduces stress.
    – Shared responsibility helps discipline.
    – Support improves success chances.

    » Common Mistakes to Avoid
    – Chasing high return promises.
    – Ignoring debt problem.
    – Using retirement money for emergencies.
    – Frequent portfolio changes.
    – Delaying action further.
    – Comparing with others.

    » Psychological Aspect
    – Guilt about late start is normal.
    – Do not dwell on past.
    – Focus on controllable actions now.
    – Small wins build confidence.
    – Progress matters more than perfection.
    – Hope must stay alive.

    » What Success Looks Like Now
    – Reduced debt burden.
    – Emergency fund in place.
    – Regular monthly savings habit.
    – Controlled risk exposure.
    – Predictable retirement income support.
    – Peace of mind.

    » Final Insights
    – You are late but not helpless.
    – Debt reduction is first priority.
    – Emergency fund is essential.
    – LIC policy needs careful review.
    – Mutual funds can support retirement.
    – Active management suits your stage.
    – Discipline matters more than amount.
    – With steady effort, improvement is possible.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

    Money
    can anyone suggest some good mutual funds to invest ?
    Ans: It is good you are asking this question.
    Many people invest blindly without understanding.
    Your intent shows responsibility and awareness.
    This is the right starting point.
    Mutual funds work best with clarity.
    I appreciate your willingness to learn.

    » Understanding the Real Question
    – You are not asking for returns alone.
    – You are asking for safety and growth.
    – You want confidence in decisions.
    – You want fewer mistakes.
    – This mindset is very important.
    – Mutual funds need goal-based thinking.

    » Why “Good Mutual Funds” Is a Relative Term
    – There is no single best fund.
    – Suitability matters more than popularity.
    – Age changes risk tolerance.
    – Income stability matters.
    – Time horizon matters greatly.
    – Emotional comfort also matters.

    » Role of a Certified Financial Planner
    – A Certified Financial Planner matches funds to goals.
    – Random suggestions often fail.
    – Personal context decides suitability.
    – Fund selection is not guessing.
    – It is a structured process.
    – Guidance prevents costly mistakes.

    » First Step Before Choosing Any Fund
    – Identify your goal clearly.
    – Short term goals differ from long term.
    – Retirement goals need stability.
    – Wealth creation needs patience.
    – Emergency money should stay separate.
    – Mixing goals creates confusion.

    » Importance of Time Horizon
    – Less than three years needs safety.
    – Three to seven years needs balance.
    – More than seven years allows growth focus.
    – Time absorbs market volatility.
    – Longer time reduces risk.
    – Short time increases uncertainty.

    » Understanding Risk Properly
    – Risk is not loss alone.
    – Risk is emotional panic also.
    – Wrong fund causes sleepless nights.
    – Panic selling destroys wealth.
    – Right fund keeps you calm.
    – Calm investors earn better returns.

    » Why Actively Managed Funds Matter
    – Markets change constantly.
    – Companies rise and fall.
    – Active managers track these changes.
    – They reduce exposure during stress.
    – They increase quality holdings.
    – This flexibility protects capital.

    » Disadvantages of Index Funds
    – Index funds blindly follow markets.
    – No downside protection exists.
    – Full fall happens during crashes.
    – Recovery takes time.
    – Near goals, this hurts badly.
    – Active funds manage risk better.

    » Importance of Asset Allocation
    – Do not put everything in equity.
    – Debt provides stability.
    – Equity provides growth.
    – Balance reduces volatility.
    – Allocation should change with age.
    – This improves long-term success.

    » Equity Mutual Fund Categories Explained
    – Large-focused funds invest in stable companies.
    – Mid-focused funds aim higher growth.
    – Smaller companies bring higher volatility.
    – Flexi-style funds adjust across sizes.
    – Balanced style funds mix debt and equity.
    – Each serves a different purpose.

    » When to Use Large-Focused Equity Funds
    – Suitable for conservative investors.
    – Suitable for beginners.
    – Suitable near retirement.
    – Volatility remains lower.
    – Growth is steady.
    – Confidence remains higher.

    » When to Use Mid-Focused Equity Funds
    – Suitable for longer horizons.
    – Suitable for moderate risk takers.
    – Returns can be higher.
    – Falls can be sharp sometimes.
    – Requires patience.
    – SIP helps manage volatility.

    » When to Use Smaller Company Focused Funds
    – Only for long horizons.
    – Only for high risk tolerance.
    – Not suitable near goals.
    – Volatility is very high.
    – Returns fluctuate widely.
    – Allocation should be limited.

    » Role of Flexi-Style Equity Funds
    – Managers move across market sizes.
    – They respond to valuations.
    – They reduce concentration risk.
    – Suitable for uncertain markets.
    – Good core holding.
    – Useful across life stages.

    » Balanced Style Funds Explained
    – Mix of equity and debt exists.
    – Volatility is lower.
    – Returns are smoother.
    – Suitable for conservative investors.
    – Suitable near retirement.
    – Provides income stability.

    » Debt Mutual Fund Understanding
    – Debt funds invest in fixed income instruments.
    – Returns are more stable.
    – Risk depends on credit quality.
    – Short duration suits safety needs.
    – Long duration suits interest rate cycles.
    – Selection must be careful.

    » Why Debt Funds Matter
    – They reduce overall portfolio risk.
    – They provide predictable returns.
    – They help during market crashes.
    – They support regular withdrawals.
    – They improve sleep quality.
    – They bring balance.

    » Tax Aspect Awareness
    – Equity gains have holding period rules.
    – Long term equity gains have lower tax.
    – Short term gains attract higher tax.
    – Debt gains taxed as per slab.
    – Holding period planning reduces tax.
    – Withdrawal planning matters.

    » SIP Versus Lump Sum
    – SIP builds discipline.
    – SIP reduces timing risk.
    – Lump sum suits surplus money.
    – Market timing is difficult.
    – SIP suits salaried investors.
    – Consistency matters more than timing.

    » Why Regular Funds Are Better for Most
    – Regular funds provide guidance.
    – Behaviour management is included.
    – Review support is available.
    – Panic decisions are reduced.
    – CFP guidance adds value.
    – Cost difference is justified often.

    » Disadvantages of Direct Funds
    – No handholding during volatility.
    – Wrong allocation mistakes occur.
    – Investors panic during falls.
    – Discipline breaks easily.
    – Mistakes cost more than savings.
    – Support matters more than cost.

    » Portfolio Construction Principles
    – Limit number of funds.
    – Avoid duplication.
    – Diversify across styles.
    – Align funds with goals.
    – Review annually only.
    – Avoid frequent changes.

    » How Many Funds Are Enough
    – Too many funds confuse tracking.
    – Four to six funds are enough.
    – Each fund must have a role.
    – Overlapping funds reduce efficiency.
    – Simplicity improves discipline.
    – Control improves results.

    » Common Mistakes Investors Make
    – Chasing recent performance.
    – Following social media tips.
    – Switching frequently.
    – Investing without goals.
    – Ignoring asset allocation.
    – Stopping SIP during downturns.

    » Behaviour Is More Important Than Funds
    – Good behaviour beats good products.
    – Staying invested matters most.
    – Panic destroys compounding.
    – Patience builds wealth.
    – Discipline creates results.
    – Confidence grows over time.

    » Role of Review and Rebalancing
    – Portfolio needs periodic review.
    – Life changes need adjustments.
    – Risk increases with market rise.
    – Rebalancing restores balance.
    – Annual review is enough.
    – Over-monitoring creates stress.

    » Age-Based Allocation Thought
    – Younger investors can take higher equity.
    – Middle age needs balanced approach.
    – Near retirement needs stability.
    – Allocation must reduce risk gradually.
    – This protects capital.
    – Longevity risk increases later.

    » Emotional Side of Investing
    – Fear and greed influence decisions.
    – Market news creates panic.
    – Discipline reduces emotional damage.
    – Guidance provides reassurance.
    – Staying calm is crucial.
    – Long-term view wins.

    » Importance of Emergency Fund
    – Emergency fund protects investments.
    – It avoids forced selling.
    – Keep it separate from mutual funds.
    – Liquidity matters here.
    – Peace of mind improves discipline.
    – This is foundation step.

    » Goal-Based Investing Is Key
    – Each goal needs its own strategy.
    – Education goals differ from retirement.
    – Short goals need safety.
    – Long goals allow growth.
    – Mixing goals causes confusion.
    – Structure brings clarity.

    » Final Insights
    – Good mutual funds depend on your goals.
    – Actively managed funds suit most investors.
    – Asset allocation matters more than fund names.
    – Discipline beats market timing.
    – Guidance reduces costly mistakes.
    – Start with clarity and patience.
    – Stay consistent and review annually.
    – This approach builds long-term wealth.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10893 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
    Money
    My friend age is 39 salary is 70000 loan 100000 with 1200 EMI had 5.5 lakh pf and yearly lic policies of 45000 had own house worth 40 lakhs and one land worth 15 lakhs nearly son age is 4 how to invest for education
    Ans: Your friend has taken a responsible step by thinking early.
    Planning for a child’s education shows care and foresight.
    Starting now gives strong advantage.
    Time is the biggest strength here.
    This deserves appreciation and encouragement.

    » Family and Life Stage Assessment
    – Your friend is 39 years old.
    – Child is only 4 years old.
    – Education goal is 14 to 18 years away.
    – This gives long investment runway.
    – Long horizon allows growth focus.
    – Early planning reduces pressure later.

    » Income and Stability Review
    – Monthly salary is Rs.70,000.
    – Income seems stable currently.
    – EMI burden is very low.
    – Loan amount is manageable.
    – Cash flow pressure appears limited.
    – This supports long-term investing.

    » Existing Asset Overview
    – Provident fund value is Rs.5.5 lakh.
    – Own house provides residential security.
    – Land holding adds balance sheet strength.
    – Physical assets already exist.
    – Education funding should stay financial.
    – Avoid mixing goals with properties.

    » Current Liability Position
    – Loan amount is only Rs.1 lakh.
    – EMI is Rs.1,200 monthly.
    – Debt stress is minimal.
    – No urgent prepayment pressure exists.
    – Liquidity remains comfortable.
    – This supports regular investments.

    » Child Education Cost Reality
    – Education costs rise faster than inflation.
    – Higher education costs are unpredictable.
    – Foreign education increases costs sharply.
    – Professional courses cost much more.
    – Planning should assume higher expenses.
    – Conservative assumptions protect future.

    » Time Horizon Advantage
    – Child has 14 plus years.
    – Long horizon favours equity exposure.
    – Short-term volatility becomes irrelevant.
    – Compounding works best over time.
    – Discipline matters more than timing.
    – Starting early reduces monthly burden.

    » Goal Segregation Importance
    – Education goal must stay separate.
    – Retirement goals should not mix.
    – House and land should remain untouched.
    – Education money needs liquidity later.
    – Clear buckets avoid confusion.
    – This brings clarity and focus.

    » Provident Fund Role Clarification
    – PF is meant for retirement.
    – Avoid using PF for education.
    – PF offers safety, not flexibility.
    – Withdrawal later affects retirement comfort.
    – Let PF compound peacefully.
    – Education should have its own plan.

    » LIC Policy Assessment
    – LIC policies are long-term commitments.
    – Many LIC policies give low returns.
    – Education goal needs higher growth.
    – Insurance and investment should not mix.
    – Review policy purpose carefully.
    – Education planning needs efficiency.

    » Action on LIC Policies
    – If LIC is investment oriented, review seriously.
    – Such policies often underperform inflation.
    – Education goal needs stronger growth engine.
    – Consider surrender after policy review.
    – Redirect money into mutual funds.
    – This improves goal probability.

    » Risk Capacity Versus Risk Appetite
    – Income stability supports equity exposure.
    – Child’s age supports growth focus.
    – Emotional comfort still matters.
    – Portfolio should avoid extreme swings.
    – Balance reduces regret during downturns.
    – Discipline ensures long-term success.

    » Asset Allocation Thought Process
    – Education goal allows higher equity allocation.
    – Small debt portion adds stability.
    – Allocation should change near goal.
    – Gradual de-risking protects corpus.
    – No sudden changes later.
    – Planning must be dynamic.

    » Why Mutual Funds Fit Education Goals
    – Mutual funds offer growth potential.
    – They allow disciplined monthly investing.
    – SIP suits salary earners well.
    – Flexibility exists for top-ups.
    – Liquidity is available when needed.
    – Transparency improves understanding.

    » Importance of Active Management
    – Active funds manage downside risks.
    – Fund managers respond to market changes.
    – Education corpus cannot afford blind tracking.
    – Index investing lacks downside control.
    – Active approach suits long-term goals.
    – Flexibility is critical here.

    » Why Index Funds Are Not Ideal
    – Index funds follow markets mechanically.
    – They fall fully during market crashes.
    – No protection during extreme volatility.
    – Education timeline cannot wait always.
    – Active funds adjust allocations actively.
    – This reduces emotional stress.

    » Monthly Investment Discipline
    – SIP builds habit and discipline.
    – Small amounts grow meaningfully over time.
    – Step-up SIP improves future corpus.
    – Salary growth supports step-up.
    – Consistency matters more than amount.
    – Missed months reduce compounding.

    » Emergency Fund Before Education Investing
    – Emergency fund should exist first.
    – At least six months expenses recommended.
    – This avoids breaking education investments.
    – Emergencies are unpredictable.
    – Financial shocks derail long-term plans.
    – Stability supports discipline.

    » Insurance Protection Check
    – Adequate term insurance is critical.
    – Child’s education depends on income.
    – Insurance protects goal continuity.
    – Medical insurance protects savings.
    – Without protection, plans collapse.
    – Risk management comes first.

    » Tax Efficiency Perspective
    – Education investing should consider tax.
    – Mutual funds offer tax-efficient growth.
    – Tax applies only on realised gains.
    – Equity gains have specific rules.
    – Planning improves post-tax outcomes.
    – Tax should not drive decisions alone.

    » Behavioural Aspects of Education Planning
    – Market corrections will happen.
    – Panic reactions harm long-term goals.
    – Education planning needs patience.
    – Annual review is enough.
    – Avoid daily portfolio tracking.
    – Trust the process.

    » Role of Land and House
    – House provides living security.
    – Land is illiquid for education needs.
    – Avoid selling assets for education.
    – Forced sales reduce value.
    – Education funds must be liquid.
    – Separate assets reduce stress.

    » Periodic Review and Rebalancing
    – Review education plan yearly.
    – Increase investments with income growth.
    – Reduce risk near goal.
    – Shift gradually to safer assets.
    – Avoid last-minute surprises.
    – Discipline ensures success.

    » Child Education Milestones Planning
    – School education costs come first.
    – Graduation costs come later.
    – Post-graduation may need larger funds.
    – Plan for multiple stages.
    – Avoid lump-sum burden later.
    – Stagger planning reduces stress.

    » Emotional Satisfaction Aspect
    – Education planning gives confidence.
    – Parents sleep better with clarity.
    – Child benefits from better choices.
    – Financial clarity improves family harmony.
    – Less stress improves health.
    – Planning improves overall life quality.

    » Role of Certified Financial Planner
    – Personalised planning improves outcomes.
    – Risk comfort differs per family.
    – Cash flow analysis matters.
    – Goal prioritisation avoids conflicts.
    – Periodic guidance improves discipline.
    – Holistic approach protects all goals.

    » Common Mistakes to Avoid
    – Starting too late.
    – Relying only on LIC policies.
    – Using PF for education.
    – Chasing high returns blindly.
    – Ignoring inflation impact.
    – Avoiding reviews.

    » Long-Term Discipline Reminder
    – Education planning is a marathon.
    – Short-term noise should be ignored.
    – Time corrects many mistakes.
    – Discipline beats intelligence here.
    – Patience builds strong corpus.
    – Calmness protects decisions.

    » Final Insights
    – Your friend has strong starting position.
    – Early planning gives big advantage.
    – Child’s age supports growth focus.
    – Mutual funds suit education goals well.
    – LIC policies need careful review.
    – Insurance protection is essential.
    – Discipline and reviews ensure success.
    – With proper structure, education goals are achievable.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Reetika

    Reetika Sharma  |425 Answers  |Ask -

    Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

    Money
    i am a 65 year old person at present working in a company as advisor with Rs.2,00,000/-month remuneration.My son is studying 1st year B.Tech.My wife is a home maker.I am having 2 apartments on my name worth approx.2 crores.MY wife is a single child to my in laws and i stay in my mother in law's house as my wife has to take care of her. I am having a plot which costs about 75 lakhs rupees.I am having PPF amount Rs,25 lakhs in my account and still account is not closed.I may be having a cash of Rs.20 lakhs approx.in various forms.I am havinga stocks porfolio worth Rs30 lakhs.I am giving you my MF sips in various forms.The MFs amount is to the tune of Rs.80 lakhs. Fund Name Category SIP Amount % of Portfolio Motilal Oswal Large Cap Fund Large Cap ₹15,000 10.3% Nippon India Large Cap Fund Large Cap ₹13,000 8.9% Total Large Cap ₹28,000 19.2% HDFC Midcap Fund Mid Cap ₹7,500 5.1% Edelweiss Mid Cap Fund Mid Cap ₹31,000 21.2% Total Mid Cap ₹38,500 26.3% SBI Small Cap Fund Small Cap ₹3,500 2.4% Nippon India Small Cap Fund Small Cap ₹2,000 1.4% Total Small Cap ₹5,500 3.8% Parag Parikh Flexicap Fund Flexi Cap ₹38,500 26.3% HDFC Focused Fund Focused ₹7,000 4.8% Mirae Asset Large & Midcap Fund Large & Mid Cap ₹2,500 1.7% Total Diversified Equity ₹48,000 32.8% Canara Robeco Multi Asset Multi Asset ₹1,500 1.0% HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund BAF ₹10,000 6.8% Total Hybrid / Debt-Oriented ₹11,500 7.9% Tata Nifty Capital Markets Index Sectoral (Financial Services) ₹2,000 1.4% Nippon India Banking & Financial Services Sectoral (Financial Services) ₹1,500 1.0% Total Sectoral ₹3,500 2.4% Total SIP amount is approx.Rs.1.5 lakhs / month . I am having monthly sips for SBI small cap,nippon india small cap, dsp small cap rs.5000/-each in addition to above SIPs.My total MFs amount is approx.rs.75 lakhs. Though i am not sure how many months my assignment continue, immediately there is no threat.at present my health only is the criteria to continue and i may continue for maximum of one year.MY wife also may be having cash in various forms to the tune of Rs.50 lakhs. This is my financial status. Kindly guide me for a better and remunerative planning.Best Regards.
    Ans: Hi Nadakuduru,

    Your overall assets are good but need some proper realignment wrt you what all you mentioned. Let us have a detailed look:

    - Considering that you will work for a year or so, you need to have proper alignment of your current assets in liquid form.
    - Close your PPF account upon maturity and park it in debt MFs.
    - Direct stock investment is way too risky. Shift that amount in equity mutual funds to fund you when you stop working.
    - Make a FD of 20 lakhs cash that you have for your emergency requirement.
    - Your current SIPs are highly overdiversified and overlapped. A portfolio like this never gives a good return. Hence work with a professional to get a good portfolio.
    A DIY portfolio like yours can break your overall investments. Do not do any large investments like these without proper guidance.
    - Hence stop current SIPS and take professional's help.

    Do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

    Let me know if you need more help.

    Best Regards,
    Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
    https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

    ...Read more

    DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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