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Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 25, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
SN Question by SN on May 25, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, me and my husband are married for 12 years now, we have a daughter. Both of us are totally different, like north and south pole.
He is very extrovert, tries to be the centre of attention, always needs his social circle, his work, friends circle is all that matters to him.
I am a total introvert. I don't care about having friends, I hate parties, all that matters to me is my family.
First few years, he made me feel that I am a misfit in this world and I had a huge pressure to be an extrovert like him.
He was always like how can this famous Mr Extrovert can have such an introvert wife, that's so shameful. I tried changing myself because I was so desperate for his love and respect. All that mattered to him was my looks, how I conducted myself in front of people and after pregnancy, all that bothered him was my weight gain. I started hating myself, believed that maybe I just don't deserve to be loved. I went into depression after pregnancy. I had to leave my job to take care of my baby, his mom who was bed ridden by then, his dad who had serious health issues.
I told him, thought he would at least care then. It took him 3 years after that to even come with me to a psychiatrist. He never cared.
I always thought it’s my fault, tried to patch things up but now I am tired, really tired. I feel suffocated. I am afraid of separating from him.
As a person, he is good but we are totally misfit for each other. I still cannot come to terms with all the emotional abuse I went through.
He didn't intend to harm me, he thought he is only helping me to improve and be better but now, I don't know what to do, I am not happy.

Ans:

Dear SN, It’s a wonder why anyone would go to such lengths to change themselves for another; especially their personalities: what makes them who they are! All in the name of saving relationships and love.

True love within a relationship doesn’t demand that the other person change themselves upside down, but it embraces who the other person is unconditionally.

And what makes you think that an extroverted person has the right to change an introverted person?

Did you try and change him to be like you? No! Then why is the reverse even being given so much importance. Also, your husband does not any right to mock you!

His world is different from yours as much as your world is different from yours. And kindly remember: Extroverts (if you want to label them), ate people who are happy with a lot of company around them, are vocal about liking being in a crowd and having a good time spending time with people.

They are not ones who poke fun at the way their spouses look, try and change them to suit their personalities.

So, who you are living with right now is a man with very poor self-esteem and huge insecurities and is blaming you for these and trying to change you will make him feel better.

Do not feed into this game; as once you begin to show that you will yield to his demands, that’s all you are going to do for life. He has to change from within!

He has to understand that what is going on within him is the cause of his misery and not you. But of course, doing something for a spouse even when you don’t like it has to be out of your own will and not forced. Now you take a call as to how you are going to deal with this in your marriage.

READ WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN: He didn't intend to harm me, he thought he is only helping me to improve and be better!

Do you really need help or does he? You have started to actually believe that you are at fault and that it is your problem.

Bottom line: You change only if you wish to and that too with things that don’t challenge your value systems. Never be forced into anything; period!

Either sit him down and assert this point or ask him to visit a professional to take care of his state of mind.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 21, 2022

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Relationship
I married a man after he cheated multiple times. I knew marriage wouldn’t fix our relationship but I hoped that if we transitioned into marital roles we could bring peace to each other.We have only been married a few months but have argued about money and have trust issues.I have even sought info on divorce. Before we married I worked 3 jobs and paid all the bills. I was unable to fulfil my goal of going back to school because we couldn’t afford it. Now he’s working full time but doesn’t want to pay his share of the bills. He says his money is here for when all my money is spent. We rarely go out. I work from home now and care for my children and his son. I want his loyalty. I want him to be a co-provider for our household. I want us to communicate better.When I get upset and try to talk, he tries to leave and becomes so defensive and disrespectful to me. He won’t tell me his plans all the time and gets upset when I ask. I just want a husband who loves me and wants to be loved by me. I have never not once gone out with my own friends. I have never gotten my hair done. I rarely do things for myself. I hate myself for doing this to myself. Help.
Ans:

Dear GH,

So, there’s someone in your home who lives for free and also wants to go out and seek pleasure and who will not even address the issue at hand.

Why exactly are you with him? He’s in it for the money that you bring in and someone to take care of him and his children and also who overlooks his infidelity.

He certainly has hit the jackpot with you. Now, why exactly do you want to still be with him?

If you feel that he will be willing to be counselled, kindly take him to an expert who can work with him and help you both put your marriage on track, else I am sure you know what situation you are in currently and how this has begun to affect the children as well.

Self-care is something that we don’t pay attention to and slowly it starts to eat away our peace of mind.

Do the right thing for you and for the children as well. Plan now for a future without him and see how prepared you are and whether it is something that you can manage. If not, you will have to accept him for who he is and move along life.

Simply do the right thing. All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

Relationship
I want to keep it anonymous.I am a 30 years old independent woman married for 5 months only.My husband and I were in same college but were not friends.He had been approaching me for getting married since 2017, but every time I had rejected his proposal, later in February, 2021 I talked to him openly and mentioned my inability to conceive if we get married.To which his response was that he really liked me and is ready to accept me with my inability.I made our families met and we got engaged.During the one year of courtship period, initial 4-5 months were peaceful, but he and I were missing a bond, yet we thought may be with time we will find it.After the initial phase as we started meeting for family functions.He started finding flaws in me. Things like, I stare at other men when I go out, I don’t give him priority, why do I talk to any male friend beyond necessity, why do I praise my senior at office parties etc.He started controlling me in these areas and used to get angry if I talk to my siblings late night.I started feeling trapped and suffocated, and always under the fear that any of my action could make my husband angry.In that anger he seemed like a very different person, someone aggressive.We started fighting, arguing over petty things.He wanted me to change but I was reluctant as those were very normal things for me and I started telling him that this relationship is not working.We are two persons with different mindset and ideologies and since we are unable to reach to a solution over any issue, let’s call it off.I tried to call this wedding off for like 6 times, but he never agreed to this stating that he loves me and he will change his attitude and will not stop me from doing anything.Whenever I tried to break up with him he'd start crying, stating things like you are my only happiness in life, and I would die without you and all.I involved my family into the matter and shared things with them.They used to call my husband to make him understand my expectations from him.In front of them my husband used to admit that he would change his behaviour.He used to stay calm for 5-6 days and then continue with the same attitude.Basically, it was an on and off behaviour from his side and because of that my behaviour was also affected.I was trying to see his positive side as he had accepted me with my inability, so he must be a good person.Somehow, after so many issues, we got married.After marriage, we went for honeymoon, but he showed a different attitude.He started insulting me that I stare at other people, including the waiter.He would fight with me aggressively, and when I cry he'd calm me down stating that this fight is my fault; had I not done this he would not have fought; had I obeyed him he would not have gotten angry. Then he used to make love to me.For 4 days this happened continuously.On the 4th day I told him I cannot stand him and bear his mind numbing torture.If he sees so many flaws in my character we must part our ways, and there is not point of staying together.He agreed but later he started apologising, asking for another chance to this marriage. I agreed.But his behaviour didn’t improve much. We used to live with his parents, he started taking active participation in local politics which used to keep him busy.He started controlling me indirectly for visiting my moms and relatives.He'd taunt me for not sharing my salary with his parents.Later I found out his work is not running smooth and he is not making enough.The issue of staring at men and shaking hands with men while greeting congratulations, was also an issue to him.He'd remain normal as long as I did things as per his wish.If I said or did anything opposite, he'd get aggressive and disrespectful towards me.Love was nowhere around. He never said I am a good looking woman. My husband rarely complimented me though I get many whenever I go out.He seemed not to be bothered about me except for the time I do something he doesn’t like.My mom also supported him. His behaviour started taking a toll on my mental condition and I started feeling uncomfortable around him.I stopped being physical as I was feeling emotionally detached.The fights had broken me, my bare minimum expectations were not fulfilled.My husband also broke relations with my family and was disrespectful to them.Initially he had promised that I will be free to visit my mom whenever I want and he will not seek my salary ever or doubt my character, but nothing turned to be true.After 4 months of torture, I came to my mom's place and told my husband that I cannot live with him.I actually feel much better without him. As soon as he knew that I am leaving him he has surrendered and is admitting that he made mistakes and doesn’t want to lose me.He says I am his only hope in life and he loves me a lot and can’t live without me.He does the same emotional drama every time I try to part ways with him.My family is pressurising me to give him another chance. But my trust is shattered beyond repair.He made my cry, he pushed me into depression.I do not respect him. He accepted me with my inability, but I feel he never liked the real me.He is not ready to admit this fact that we have not been good for each other.To me he seems like a male chauvinist, a dominating and controlling person.He stays grumpy most of the time, behaves well with others but is arrogant with family members.What do I do? I am in utter confusion, I am unable to force myself into a love-less marriage and my family and husband doesn’t understand it.(I am a government officer and my husband runs a small business)
Ans:

Dear MK,

This is a classic case of crying out, blaming the spouse for the crying and sending her on a guilt trip, promising to do better, not following through and when she walks out, crying out again.

It's cyclical and traps you within in the loop.

He really needs to work out his stuff with a professional, else this is going to be something that you have to deal with repeatedly.

To not be able to take responsibility for his actions, shifting blame onto you, acting insecure and preventing you from leading your life the way that you are used to -- like talking to your family and friends -- are all red flags.

Step up, take charge and suggest that he goes to a professional if he wants the marriage to work.

If he doesn’t and continues the same way, you know what you must do to secure yourself and your life.

All the best!

    ..Read more

    Anu

    Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

    Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

    Relationship
    I want to keep it anonymous.I am a 30 years old independent woman married for 5 months only.My husband and I were in same college but were not friends.He had been approaching me for getting married since 2017, but every time I had rejected his proposal, later in February, 2021 I talked to him openly and mentioned my inability to conceive if we get married.To which his response was that he really liked me and is ready to accept me with my inability.I made our families met and we got engaged.During the one year of courtship period, initial 4-5 months were peaceful, but he and I were missing a bond, yet we thought may be with time we will find it.After the initial phase as we started meeting for family functions.He started finding flaws in me. Things like, I stare at other men when I go out, I don’t give him priority, why do I talk to any male friend beyond necessity, why do I praise my senior at office parties etc.He started controlling me in these areas and used to get angry if I talk to my siblings late night.I started feeling trapped and suffocated, and always under the fear that any of my action could make my husband angry.In that anger he seemed like a very different person, someone aggressive.We started fighting, arguing over petty things.He wanted me to change but I was reluctant as those were very normal things for me and I started telling him that this relationship is not working.We are two persons with different mindset and ideologies and since we are unable to reach to a solution over any issue, let’s call it off.I tried to call this wedding off for like 6 times, but he never agreed to this stating that he loves me and he will change his attitude and will not stop me from doing anything.Whenever I tried to break up with him he'd start crying, stating things like you are my only happiness in life, and I would die without you and all.I involved my family into the matter and shared things with them.They used to call my husband to make him understand my expectations from him.In front of them my husband used to admit that he would change his behaviour.He used to stay calm for 5-6 days and then continue with the same attitude.Basically, it was an on and off behaviour from his side and because of that my behaviour was also affected.I was trying to see his positive side as he had accepted me with my inability, so he must be a good person.Somehow, after so many issues, we got married.After marriage, we went for honeymoon, but he showed a different attitude.He started insulting me that I stare at other people, including the waiter.He would fight with me aggressively, and when I cry he'd calm me down stating that this fight is my fault; had I not done this he would not have fought; had I obeyed him he would not have gotten angry. Then he used to make love to me.For 4 days this happened continuously.On the 4th day I told him I cannot stand him and bear his mind numbing torture.If he sees so many flaws in my character we must part our ways, and there is not point of staying together.He agreed but later he started apologising, asking for another chance to this marriage. I agreed.But his behaviour didn’t improve much. We used to live with his parents, he started taking active participation in local politics which used to keep him busy.He started controlling me indirectly for visiting my moms and relatives.He'd taunt me for not sharing my salary with his parents.Later I found out his work is not running smooth and he is not making enough.The issue of staring at men and shaking hands with men while greeting congratulations, was also an issue to him.He'd remain normal as long as I did things as per his wish.If I said or did anything opposite, he'd get aggressive and disrespectful towards me.Love was nowhere around. He never said I am a good looking woman. My husband rarely complimented me though I get many whenever I go out.He seemed not to be bothered about me except for the time I do something he doesn’t like.My mom also supported him. His behaviour started taking a toll on my mental condition and I started feeling uncomfortable around him.I stopped being physical as I was feeling emotionally detached.The fights had broken me, my bare minimum expectations were not fulfilled.My husband also broke relations with my family and was disrespectful to them.Initially he had promised that I will be free to visit my mom whenever I want and he will not seek my salary ever or doubt my character, but nothing turned to be true.After 4 months of torture, I came to my mom's place and told my husband that I cannot live with him.I actually feel much better without him. As soon as he knew that I am leaving him he has surrendered and is admitting that he made mistakes and doesn’t want to lose me.He says I am his only hope in life and he loves me a lot and can’t live without me.He does the same emotional drama every time I try to part ways with him.My family is pressurising me to give him another chance. But my trust is shattered beyond repair.He made my cry, he pushed me into depression.I do not respect him. He accepted me with my inability, but I feel he never liked the real me.He is not ready to admit this fact that we have not been good for each other.To me he seems like a male chauvinist, a dominating and controlling person.He stays grumpy most of the time, behaves well with others but is arrogant with family members.What do I do? I am in utter confusion, I am unable to force myself into a love-less marriage and my family and husband doesn’t understand it.(I am a government officer and my husband runs a small business)

    ..Read more

    Anu

    Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

    Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

    Relationship
    I want to keep it anonymous.I am a 30 years old independent woman married for 5 months only.My husband and I were in same college but were not friends.He had been approaching me for getting married since 2017, but every time I had rejected his proposal, later in February, 2021 I talked to him openly and mentioned my inability to conceive if we get married.To which his response was that he really liked me and is ready to accept me with my inability.I made our families met and we got engaged.During the one year of courtship period, initial 4-5 months were peaceful, but he and I were missing a bond, yet we thought may be with time we will find it.After the initial phase as we started meeting for family functions.He started finding flaws in me. Things like, I stare at other men when I go out, I don’t give him priority, why do I talk to any male friend beyond necessity, why do I praise my senior at office parties etc.He started controlling me in these areas and used to get angry if I talk to my siblings late night.I started feeling trapped and suffocated, and always under the fear that any of my action could make my husband angry.In that anger he seemed like a very different person, someone aggressive.We started fighting, arguing over petty things.He wanted me to change but I was reluctant as those were very normal things for me and I started telling him that this relationship is not working.We are two persons with different mindset and ideologies and since we are unable to reach to a solution over any issue, let’s call it off.I tried to call this wedding off for like 6 times, but he never agreed to this stating that he loves me and he will change his attitude and will not stop me from doing anything.Whenever I tried to break up with him he'd start crying, stating things like you are my only happiness in life, and I would die without you and all.I involved my family into the matter and shared things with them.They used to call my husband to make him understand my expectations from him.In front of them my husband used to admit that he would change his behaviour.He used to stay calm for 5-6 days and then continue with the same attitude.Basically, it was an on and off behaviour from his side and because of that my behaviour was also affected.I was trying to see his positive side as he had accepted me with my inability, so he must be a good person.Somehow, after so many issues, we got married.After marriage, we went for honeymoon, but he showed a different attitude.He started insulting me that I stare at other people, including the waiter.He would fight with me aggressively, and when I cry he'd calm me down stating that this fight is my fault; had I not done this he would not have fought; had I obeyed him he would not have gotten angry. Then he used to make love to me.For 4 days this happened continuously.On the 4th day I told him I cannot stand him and bear his mind numbing torture.If he sees so many flaws in my character we must part our ways, and there is not point of staying together.He agreed but later he started apologising, asking for another chance to this marriage. I agreed.But his behaviour didn’t improve much. We used to live with his parents, he started taking active participation in local politics which used to keep him busy.He started controlling me indirectly for visiting my moms and relatives.He'd taunt me for not sharing my salary with his parents.Later I found out his work is not running smooth and he is not making enough.The issue of staring at men and shaking hands with men while greeting congratulations, was also an issue to him.He'd remain normal as long as I did things as per his wish.If I said or did anything opposite, he'd get aggressive and disrespectful towards me.Love was nowhere around. He never said I am a good looking woman. My husband rarely complimented me though I get many whenever I go out.He seemed not to be bothered about me except for the time I do something he doesn’t like.My mom also supported him. His behaviour started taking a toll on my mental condition and I started feeling uncomfortable around him.I stopped being physical as I was feeling emotionally detached.The fights had broken me, my bare minimum expectations were not fulfilled.My husband also broke relations with my family and was disrespectful to them.Initially he had promised that I will be free to visit my mom whenever I want and he will not seek my salary ever or doubt my character, but nothing turned to be true.After 4 months of torture, I came to my mom's place and told my husband that I cannot live with him.I actually feel much better without him. As soon as he knew that I am leaving him he has surrendered and is admitting that he made mistakes and doesn’t want to lose me.He says I am his only hope in life and he loves me a lot and can’t live without me.He does the same emotional drama every time I try to part ways with him.My family is pressurising me to give him another chance. But my trust is shattered beyond repair.He made my cry, he pushed me into depression.I do not respect him. He accepted me with my inability, but I feel he never liked the real me.He is not ready to admit this fact that we have not been good for each other.To me he seems like a male chauvinist, a dominating and controlling person.He stays grumpy most of the time, behaves well with others but is arrogant with family members.What do I do? I am in utter confusion, I am unable to force myself into a love-less marriage and my family and husband doesn’t understand it.(I am a government officer and my husband runs a small business)
    Ans:

    Dear MK,

    This is a classic case of crying out, blaming the spouse for the crying and sending her on a guilt trip, promising to do better, not following through and when she walks out, crying out again.

    It's cyclical and traps you within in the loop.

    He really needs to work out his stuff with a professional, else this is going to be something that you have to deal with repeatedly.

    To not be able to take responsibility for his actions, shifting blame onto you, acting insecure and preventing you from leading your life the way that you are used to -- like talking to your family and friends -- are all red flags.

    Step up, take charge and suggest that he goes to a professional if he wants the marriage to work.

    If he doesn’t and continues the same way, you know what you must do to secure yourself and your life.

    All the best!

    ..Read more

    Kanchan

    Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

    Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2024

    Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2024Hindi
    Listen
    Relationship
    Hello, I am 35 years old. Married. Not living with husband since an year, as he flirted with an office girl (this is the extent of it that I caught) and has tendency to do so. He is not emotionally aware (of himself or me) and I keep getting hurt as I am quite emotional. Also, I am not on talking terms with his parents as they had tried to sabotage our marriage in different ways on countless occasions. My husband wont agree (not that I want him to agree), but I think that's one reason of our increasing differences. I love him, but cannot find in my heart to move back with him ever again. We have a 5 year old kid, due to whom I am unable to move ahead with divorce. I am stuck in the midst, not knowing where to go next or stay in this same 'married but separated ' position forever. I'm definitely happier without the everyday petty bickering that we had when we lived together (which was turning me into a bitter and angry person, I don't want to be that). I have turned extremely distrustful of him. I do feel very lonely at times. We also went to a guidance counsellor to make the relation work some 1.5 years back, but my husband felt its a waste of money after 5 sessions, also he never invested in the emotional sorting that the counsellor mentioned our relation required. Any guidance?
    Ans: It sounds like you're facing a complex and challenging situation. Here are some steps you might consider as you navigate your next steps:

    Take care of yourself first and foremost. This means prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings, develop coping strategies, and explore your options moving forward.
    Take some time to reflect on what you want for yourself and your child in the long term. Consider what kind of environment you want to create for your child, as well as what you need in terms of emotional fulfillment and stability.
    If you feel comfortable, consider having an open and honest conversation with your husband about your concerns and feelings. Express how his actions have affected you and what you need from him moving forward. However, be prepared for the possibility that he may not be receptive or willing to change.
    Consult with a family law attorney to understand your rights and options regarding divorce, custody, and child support. They can provide guidance tailored to your specific situation and help you navigate the legal process.
    Regardless of whether you choose to stay married or pursue divorce, prioritize effective co-parenting for the well-being of your child. This may involve setting clear boundaries, communicating openly about parenting decisions, and prioritizing your child's needs above any personal conflicts.
    Consider exploring alternative living arrangements or custody agreements that may better suit your needs and preferences. This could include living separately while co-parenting, or exploring shared custody arrangements that provide stability for your child while allowing you to maintain some distance from your husband.
    Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups for additional support and guidance. It can be helpful to connect with others who have gone through similar experiences and can offer empathy, advice, and solidarity.
    Ultimately, the decision of whether to stay married or pursue divorce is a deeply personal one that only you can make. Take your time, trust your instincts, and prioritize your own well-being and that of your child as you navigate this challenging process.

    ..Read more

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    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9770 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
    Money
    Hello Sir I am 43 yrs old.My take home is about 2lakhs post tax, Have 2 home loans. One home is on rent getting around 25k per month. Curent outstanding is near about 15 lakhs. Another home loan is outstanding about 96lakhs. Have 2 kids aged 11 and 3. For Daughter PPF account balance as of now is ~14 lakhs. NPS monthly is about 11 k on tier 1. Curent NPS tier one balance ~7lakhs. Tier 2 balance ~ 1 lakh. Invests on tier 2 approximately 30-40k per year. Have Few LIC policies as well. Have tata AIA ULIP term insurance of 1 CR. Also invests approximately 5k per month on Direct mutual fund. Have emergency fund approximately 15Lakhs. Planning to sell one house, would you suggest to foreclose the maximum amount of 2nd home loan to have a better money flow at hand or invest it wisely?
    Ans: At 43, with two children and dual home loans, you're at a crucial stage. Your income, savings, and clarity show the right mindset. Let’s build a 360-degree roadmap to bring balance, cash flow, and growth.

    ? Understand your current financial flow

    – Your monthly take-home is Rs. 2 lakh.
    – Home loan EMIs likely take a major portion.
    – Rental income adds Rs. 25,000 monthly, which gives some relief.
    – Emergency fund of Rs. 15 lakh gives you strong backup.
    – That is a good step taken already.

    ? Home loans – Review and prioritise

    – First home loan outstanding is Rs. 15 lakh.
    – Second home loan is Rs. 96 lakh, a large burden.
    – Selling the first house can free up capital.
    – If interest rate is above 8.5%, prepayment becomes attractive.
    – Focus on reducing second home loan principal first.
    – That will reduce EMI and interest burden over time.
    – High EMI limits future investments and cash flow flexibility.
    – Clearing the smaller loan brings short-term relief.
    – But reducing the large loan brings long-term freedom.

    ? Evaluate the first home before selling

    – Is the first property fetching low rent return?
    – Rs. 25,000 monthly rental is not attractive on most real estate.
    – You also pay tax on rental income.
    – Selling it to reduce the second loan is more efficient.
    – Avoid real estate as an investment going forward.
    – It locks capital and offers poor liquidity.
    – Mutual funds give better flexibility and tax efficiency.

    ? Life insurance – Realign it properly

    – You have a Tata AIA ULIP-based term cover of Rs. 1 crore.
    – This is a mix of investment and insurance.
    – ULIPs often have high charges and low flexibility.
    – It is better to separate insurance and investment.
    – Buy a pure term policy of Rs. 1.5 crore from a trusted insurer.
    – You’ll get high cover at low premium.
    – Surrender the ULIP after lock-in if it is not giving good returns.
    – Reinvest the proceeds in mutual funds through regular plans.
    – Avoid future investment in ULIP or insurance plans with returns.

    ? LIC policies – Time to review

    – LIC policies are typically endowment or money-back types.
    – These give low returns, often less than inflation.
    – They don’t suit long-term wealth creation.
    – Check policy maturity dates and surrender values.
    – If they have crossed lock-in and surrender charges are low, exit them.
    – Reinvest proceeds in actively managed mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner.

    ? NPS – Continue investing with goal clarity

    – Tier 1 balance is Rs. 7 lakh with Rs. 11,000 monthly SIP.
    – Tier 2 balance is Rs. 1 lakh with yearly Rs. 30k to Rs. 40k investment.
    – NPS is a long-term product, mainly for retirement.
    – Tier 1 gives tax benefits under 80CCD.
    – But withdrawals are partially locked at maturity.
    – Don’t rely only on NPS for retirement.
    – Combine it with mutual funds for better flexibility.

    ? Mutual funds – Shift to structured approach

    – You invest Rs. 5,000 monthly in direct mutual funds.
    – Direct funds have lower costs but lack personalised tracking.
    – Without expert guidance, wrong funds may reduce long-term returns.
    – Switch to regular plans through a CFP and trusted MFD.
    – A Certified Financial Planner ensures your funds match your goals.
    – The support and reviews are more valuable than saving few rupees on expenses.
    – Focus on active mutual funds, not index funds.
    – Index funds have no downside protection and lack expert fund management.
    – Actively managed funds give better returns with professional handling.

    ? Children’s education – Prepare with discipline

    – Your daughter is 11 years old.
    – Her higher education need is likely in 6-7 years.
    – That gives you limited time.
    – Use part of the house sale proceeds to build a dedicated corpus.
    – Invest in a balanced mutual fund for 3-5 year goal.
    – Add SIPs through a Certified Financial Planner.
    – For your younger child, you have more time.
    – Start SIP in large-cap or flexi-cap fund.
    – Increase investment each year with your income rise.
    – Avoid relying on PPF alone for higher education.

    ? Emergency fund – Well maintained

    – Rs. 15 lakh as emergency fund is excellent.
    – Keep it in liquid mutual funds, not savings accounts.
    – This should not be touched for goals or luxury spending.
    – It gives peace of mind and stability.

    ? Monthly cash flow – Post loan adjustment

    – Selling first house can give lump sum.
    – Use most of it to reduce second home loan.
    – Keep only Rs. 3 lakh to Rs. 4 lakh aside for urgent needs.
    – Reduced EMI gives room for better savings and investments.
    – Once EMI drops, increase SIP in mutual funds.
    – Avoid upgrading lifestyle unnecessarily after loan drop.
    – Use cash flow boost to increase wealth creation.

    ? Asset allocation – Bring proper balance

    – Real estate forms a large part of your net worth.
    – Mutual funds and liquid assets are less.
    – This creates poor diversification and low liquidity.
    – Reduce dependency on real estate.
    – Shift towards equity mutual funds and debt funds.
    – Your emergency fund and PPF handle the debt part.
    – So, future investments should be more into equity.

    ? Mutual fund taxation – Be aware

    – When selling mutual funds, taxation matters.
    – Equity funds held over one year attract 12.5% LTCG tax above Rs. 1.25 lakh.
    – Short-term equity gains are taxed at 20%.
    – Debt funds are taxed as per your income slab.
    – So stay invested for long term and avoid frequent switching.
    – Your Certified Financial Planner will help optimise tax and withdrawal planning.

    ? Yearly financial check-up – Build the habit

    – Review your financial position once every year.
    – Track your goals, loans, investments and insurance.
    – Check if your SIPs match goal timelines.
    – If you get a bonus or hike, increase SIPs.
    – Update your nominee details in all investments.
    – Keep your spouse informed about the financial plan.

    ? Avoid these common mistakes

    – Don’t keep LIC and ULIPs as long-term core plans.
    – They don’t beat inflation or offer flexibility.
    – Don’t invest based on tips or trending funds.
    – Avoid credit card EMI for purchases.
    – Don’t borrow to invest.
    – Avoid index funds, which just follow market ups and downs.
    – Choose active funds with proven track record and fund manager expertise.

    ? Your next financial steps

    – Sell the first house and reduce second home loan.
    – Exit LIC and ULIP after proper surrender analysis.
    – Shift all new MF investments to regular plans via MFD and CFP.
    – Use Certified Financial Planner to align goals with investments.
    – Increase SIP slowly and match it to children’s education and retirement goals.
    – Set a monthly tracker and review progress.
    – Stay focused and disciplined.
    – Don’t delay. The next 5 years are crucial for you.

    ? Finally

    – You have income, awareness, and intent.
    – That’s a strong starting point for anyone.
    – Freeing up cash flow by selling the property is a wise step.
    – Reducing loan burden brings mental peace and long-term benefit.
    – Avoid mixing investments with insurance.
    – Keep mutual fund SIPs as your main wealth creation tool.
    – Take support from a Certified Financial Planner for best guidance.
    – Stay committed, and you’ll see the results.
    – Wealth is built step by step, not overnight.

    Best Regards,
    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
    Chief Financial Planner,
    www.holisticinvestment.in
    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9770 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

    Money
    Hi I am 45 year old. I want retire from services at 49 years. My current salary is Rs.1.9 lakhs per month. I have rental income of Rs.55k. I have total housing loan outstanding balance is Rs.71 lakhs. I have invested in two 3bhk flats, 2 villa plots, 2 open plots and two plots under instalment which not yet handed over. I have total gold of 1.4 kg and total debt of Rs.1.5 crs including housing loan. Kindly suggest me plan for retirement
    Ans: You are 45 years old and planning to retire by 49. You have a strong salary of Rs.?1.9?lakh monthly and rental income of Rs.?55?k. But you also carry housing debt of Rs.?71?lakh and total debt of Rs.?1.5?crore. You hold multiple residential properties, plots, and gold of 1.4?kg. This complex financial landscape needs methodical and balanced planning. Let us begin a 360-degree strategy to help you retire confidently in four years, with clear steps and directions.

    ? Clarify Your Retirement Vision
    – First, define your desired lifestyle post-retirement.
    – Higher loan burden means pre-retirement cash flow is key.
    – Decide the monthly income you need at age 49.
    – Consider inflation, medical costs, lifestyle, travel, hobbies.
    – Set a target corpus – likely several crores to support lifestyle.
    – Having clarity here helps shape the investment plan.

    ? Analyse Your Debt Position
    – Housing loan is Rs.?71?lakh.
    – Total debt is Rs.?1.5?crore including housing.
    – Likely high interest cost is eating your future savings.
    – Accelerate repayment of high-interest loans first.
    – You may consider prepayment of the housing loan.
    – This will reduce interest and improve your monthly surplus.
    – Plot and villa plots may have instalments – clarify interest and penalties.
    – Plan to clear debt systematically before retirement.
    – Less debt means less financial pressure post-retirement.

    ? Evaluate Your Real Estate Portfolio
    – You own two flats, two villa plots, two open plots, two under-construction plots.
    – Many real estate assets breed maintenance, tax, and liquidity issues.
    – As per instruction, we won’t recommend real estate as growth vehicles.
    – You may consider trimming or repurposing some holdings.
    – Rental flattened is Rs.?55?k – fair, but not enough to replace your salary.
    – To build retire­ment corpus, you may need to monetize some plots.
    – The funds freed can move to financial instruments offering better returns and liquidity.
    – This shift also reduces your exposure to cyclical property risk.

    ? Liquidate or Reallocate Excess Property
    – Identify properties you can sell without harming your lifestyle.
    – Consider tax implications – long-term capital gains need planning.
    – Proceeds can repay high-interest debt.
    – After loan clearance, surplus can go into mutual funds and safe instruments.
    – You still keep at least one flat to generate rental income post-retirement.
    – Balance between income-generating assets and capital growth assets.

    ? Gold Holding Review
    – Holding 1.4?kg of gold is substantial.
    – Gold gives low yield and high volatility.
    – Gold can act as an inflation hedge but not a wealth creator.
    – Keep gold within 5–10% of your total net worth.
    – Consider gradual reduction of gold holdings.
    – Proceeds can be shifted to financial investments.
    – This improves return potential and diversification.

    ? Emergency Fund Maintenance
    – You must maintain at least 6–12 months’ expenses in liquid format.
    – Keep funds in a combination of savings account and liquid mutual funds.
    – This fund will not be touched except for true emergencies.
    – Even after debt clearance, maintain this buffer to avoid new debt.
    – It is your first defence post-retirement.

    ? Insurance and Risk Protection
    – Term insurance and health insurance status needs review.
    – Based on your salary and dependents, term coverage of Rs.?2–3?crore is advisable.
    – Make sure policies have suitable riders or top-up.
    – Ensure health coverage includes serious illness and critical care.
    – If not, buy a top-up policy now, before retirement.
    – Insurances form the backbone of financial security.

    ? ULIPs and Traditional Insurance Policies
    – If you hold ULIPs or endowment plans, these usually blend insurance and investment.
    – Their cost structure erodes returns.
    – For retirement corpus, they are inefficient and offer little flexibility.
    – Consider surrendering such policies now.
    – This decision should align with lock-in and surrender charges.
    – If invest­ment part is small, explore stopping future premiums instead.
    – These funds can be reallocated to mutual funds for transparency and growth.

    ? Mutual Fund Portfolio Restructuring
    – You invest in mutual funds across categories including index funds.
    – Index funds passively track the market and carry both good and bad stocks.
    – They offer no protection during downturns.
    – Actively managed funds, on the other hand, can exit poor sectors.
    – They rebalance based on research and risk controls.
    – Replace index fund allocation gradually with quality active equity funds.
    – Choose from large-cap, mid-cap, multi-cap, and hybrid funds.
    – Maintain debt allocation to match risk and liquidity needs.
    – Enable balanced growth with downside protection.

    ? Direct Mutual Funds vs Regular Plans
    – Direct funds look cheaper but have no advisory support.
    – They expose you to poor decisions and panic exits.
    – Regular plans include advice and review, helping you stay committed.
    – Behavioral discipline beats small cost savings over decades.
    – Continue investing through regular plans via MFD and a Certified Financial Planner.

    ? Structured SIP Increases
    – You are currently investing Rs.?42?k SIP + wife's Rs.?15?k SIP.
    – Post loan repayment, redirect EMI savings into SIPs.
    – Increase SIP systematically – e.g., raise every year by 10%.
    – This builds a growing compounding base.
    – It also prepares you to shift from income to corpus creation.

    ? Asset Allocation for Retirement
    – Goal is to retire in 4 years with sufficient corpus to support your lifestyle.
    – Until retirement, higher equity exposure is needed for growth.
    – Suggested portfolio: 60–70% equity (active), 20–30% debt/hybrid, 10% gold/liquid.
    – Post-retirement, shift gradually towards debt and hybrid to reduce volatility.
    – Use SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) from these funds to meet monthly expenses.

    ? Systematic Withdrawal Plan Post-Retirement
    – After retirement, do not liquidate entire corpus.
    – Instead, use SWP from hybrid funds to receive monthly income.
    – Keep the rest of the corpus invested for growth and inflation protection.
    – This method offers flexibility and tax efficiency compared to FDs or annuities.

    ? Tax Efficiency and Capital Gains
    – Equity mutual fund gains above Rs.?1.25?lakh per year are taxed at 12.5% LTCG.
    – STCG (under 1 year) is taxed at 20%.
    – Debt fund gains are taxed as per your slab rate.
    – Use long-term holding and SWP to optimize tax.
    – Other tax-saving strategies include ELSS under 80C – but remember the trade-off with lock-in.
    – Your planner can guide you on yearly withdrawal thresholds to reduce tax impact.

    ? Retirement Corpus Estimation
    – To generate Rs.?1.9?lakh salary + Rs.?0.55?lakh rent= Rs.?2.45?lakh.
    – Post-retirement, aim for Rs.?2.5?lakh monthly income after inflation.
    – Annually this is Rs.?30 lakh.
    – A safe withdrawal rate of 4–5% suggests a corpus of Rs.?6–7.5?crore.
    – Add buffer for inflation, medical costs, and rising standards.
    – Achieving this in 4 years needs a sharp increase in net investable surpluses.
    – Your asset monetisation and debt reduction will help free resources.
    – Continue aggressive SIP increases and disciplined investing.

    ? Retirement Timeline Action Plan

    Year 1 (Now):
    – Finalise retirement income target.
    – Surrender ULIPs/traditional policies where sensible.
    – Start gradual shift from index to active funds.
    – Build emergency fund and reassess insurance as needed.
    – Increase SIP usage with upcoming EMI surplus.

    Year 2:
    – Monitor fund performance every 6 months.
    – Reallocate funds as necessary.
    – Explore selling one plot if monthly funding is still needed.
    – Continue boosting equity exposure.

    Year 3:
    – Finalise assets to be retained post-retirement.
    – Consider rent agreements, rental property income mapping.
    – Plan tax strategies for plot sales and corpus creation.
    – Shift some debt funds to hybrid for less volatility.

    Year 4 (Retirement Year):
    – Prepare SWP structure and withdrawal schedule.
    – Set up bank Auto-SWP to fund monthly expenses.
    – Finalise insurance renewals.
    – Freeze long-term portfolio allocations.
    – Transition from accumulation to income mode.

    ? Non-Financial Retirement Planning
    – Retirement is more than money.
    – Prepare mentally for lifestyle change.
    – Plan for purpose: hobbies, family time, travel, community.
    – Identify roles you may take – advisor, mentor, freelancer.
    – Ensure your health stays fit for retirement life.
    – Village living gives low cost but health costs can rise.
    – Create a weekly schedule and goals post-retirement.
    – This mental planning complements your financial plan.

    ? Regular Monitoring and Advisory Support
    – You have a complex financial situation.
    – Engaging a Certified Financial Planner and MFD is key.
    – They guide fund selection, tax planning, behaviour.
    – Meetings every 6 months will keep your plan on track.
    – This support helps you avoid emotional mistakes like panic selling.

    ? Final Insights
    You are in a strong position with high income and rental flow.
    But debt and real estate concentration must be managed.
    Monetise non-income properties to reduce liabilities and increase investment.
    Surrender inefficient insurance products and re-channel capital.
    Maintain robust insurance and emergency funds.
    Boost mutual fund SIPs post-debt clearance.
    Replace index funds with quality active ones.
    Plan SWP for monthly income post-retirement.
    Continue annual reviews and behaviour support.
    With dedication and systematic action, your retirement at 49 is achievable and secure.

    Best Regards,
    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
    Chief Financial Planner,
    www.holisticinvestment.in
    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9770 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2025Hindi
    Money
    I am 34 years old and working as a government employee. My take-home salary is 91 thousand rupees per month, but unfortunately, I have not saved or invested anything so far. I have absolutely no knowledge of personal finance or investing, but I genuinely want to get serious now and start building a strong investment portfolio for the future.
    Ans: Starting at 34 is still a great time. With steady income and government job security, you can build a solid future. Let’s go step by step and build a 360-degree plan tailored to your needs.

    ? Understand your cash flow first

    – Your take-home income is Rs. 91,000 monthly.
    – Start by listing your monthly expenses.
    – Track rent, groceries, EMIs, travel, and personal expenses.
    – Identify how much you can save comfortably.
    – Even if it is Rs. 15,000 to Rs. 20,000 per month, it is a great start.
    – Avoid cutting essentials. But reduce wasteful expenses like eating out often.

    ? Build an emergency fund before investing

    – Emergency fund is your safety net.
    – It protects you during job breaks or medical issues.
    – Save at least 6 months of expenses.
    – If your monthly expense is Rs. 40,000, aim for Rs. 2.4 lakh.
    – Keep this amount in liquid mutual funds.
    – Do not invest this amount in equity or risky products.
    – This fund gives you peace and stability.

    ? Get a proper health insurance cover

    – Government employees usually have access to some medical cover.
    – But often it may not be enough.
    – Get a separate individual policy of Rs. 10 lakh minimum.
    – Include your family if needed.
    – The cost may be around Rs. 12,000 to Rs. 15,000 yearly.
    – A medical emergency without insurance can destroy savings.
    – Take this step before investing.

    ? Take a term life insurance cover

    – If your family depends on your income, you must protect them.
    – Take a pure term insurance policy.
    – Coverage should be 15 to 20 times your yearly income.
    – For Rs. 91,000 salary, you need Rs. 1.5 crore to Rs. 2 crore cover.
    – Premium will be low as you are young and healthy.
    – Do not mix insurance and investment.
    – Avoid money-back or endowment plans.
    – Also avoid ULIPs.

    ? Learn the basics of mutual fund investing

    – Mutual funds are the best tool for beginners.
    – You don’t need stock market knowledge to invest in them.
    – A fund manager manages the fund.
    – You invest monthly through SIP.
    – SIP gives discipline and long-term growth.
    – Do not invest lump sum in equity funds at this stage.
    – Start small and increase slowly.

    ? Start with SIPs in actively managed funds

    – Choose a mix of large cap and flexi cap funds.
    – Add a mid-cap fund later when you’re confident.
    – Avoid sectoral and thematic funds.
    – They carry higher risk and need timing skills.
    – Actively managed funds are better than index funds.
    – Index funds just copy the market and offer no downside protection.
    – Actively managed funds can perform better with experienced fund managers.

    ? Avoid direct mutual fund plans

    – Direct funds may look cheaper, but they lack personalised guidance.
    – Mistakes in fund selection can cause big losses.
    – A regular plan through MFD with CFP helps track and adjust.
    – A Certified Financial Planner ensures proper alignment with goals.
    – This support is worth much more than the small extra cost.

    ? Build a goal-based portfolio

    – Don’t invest without knowing your goals.
    – List your future goals like:

    Retirement at 60

    Child’s education (if planning kids)

    Buying a car or house

    Family vacation
    – Each goal needs a different type of investment.
    – Short-term goals need low-risk investments.
    – Long-term goals need equity mutual funds.
    – Your Certified Financial Planner will help match funds to each goal.

    ? Begin with simple goal like retirement

    – At 34, retirement is about 26 years away.
    – This gives you enough time to build wealth.
    – Even if you start with Rs. 10,000 SIP, it will grow well.
    – Increase SIP by 10% every year.
    – Don’t stop SIP when markets fall.
    – That is when you buy more units at low price.
    – Stay invested for long periods.

    ? Avoid these common beginner mistakes

    – Don’t put your money in fixed deposits only.
    – FD returns are low and taxable.
    – Don’t get swayed by stock tips or friends’ suggestions.
    – Avoid chit funds or gold schemes.
    – Don’t use credit cards for unnecessary shopping.
    – Don’t invest in real estate as it locks money.
    – Don’t mix emotions with investment decisions.

    ? Stay away from index funds

    – Many new investors hear about index funds.
    – But they have many disadvantages.
    – Index funds just copy the market.
    – No one is managing it to reduce losses.
    – During a crash, index funds also crash.
    – Actively managed funds aim to beat market and limit falls.
    – A skilled fund manager is always better than auto-pilot investing.

    ? Tax planning and investment

    – As a government employee, you have many tax benefits.
    – Your investments can help save tax under Section 80C.
    – PPF, ELSS mutual funds, and EPF are good options.
    – ELSS mutual funds are best for long-term wealth and tax savings.
    – Avoid ULIPs and LIC savings plans for tax benefit.
    – They are low return and not flexible.

    ? Understand mutual fund taxation

    – Equity mutual funds are taxed when you sell.
    – If held more than 1 year, gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
    – Short-term gains (under 1 year) are taxed at 20%.
    – So invest for long term to reduce tax.
    – Debt funds are taxed as per your income slab.
    – Withdraw slowly using SWP in retirement to manage tax better.

    ? Create a yearly financial habit

    – Review your investment and savings once every year.
    – Check if you are on track.
    – Increase SIP when your salary increases.
    – Don’t break SIP unless it’s a real emergency.
    – Avoid checking fund value daily or weekly.
    – It creates panic and emotional mistakes.
    – Just stay consistent.

    ? Learn slowly but consistently

    – You don’t need to become expert in finance overnight.
    – Learn basics from reliable sources.
    – Avoid YouTube influencers without credentials.
    – Read beginner blogs by Certified Financial Planners.
    – Ask questions. Clarify doubts before investing.
    – Don’t copy others. Make your own plan.

    ? Final Insights

    – You are taking a bold and smart step at 34.
    – It is never too late to start investing.
    – Build your base first with protection and emergency fund.
    – Then start SIPs in active mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner.
    – Track goals, increase SIP yearly, and stay patient.
    – Avoid shortcuts like direct plans or index funds.
    – Your consistency will reward you over time.
    – Financial freedom is fully possible from here.
    – Just keep walking the path.

    Best Regards,
    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
    Chief Financial Planner,
    www.holisticinvestment.in
    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9770 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2025Hindi
    Money
    I am 38 years old and having 2L per month Take home salary. My wife works as freelancer and earns 1L per month. Have one 3 years kid and also elderly mother(with nonpension). Have home loan with emi 21k but am paying 31k. Left principal in home loan is 15L which we are planning to close this financial year till March 2026. I am having term insurance worth 1.75 cr. Having health insurance for 20L for myself spouse and kid. Also having 5L health insurance from company which includes mother as well. I am investing 42k as SIP in mutual funds for large cap, mid cap, small, debt and gold funds and index funds. I have 7-9 months emergency fund in debt funds and some in savings account. Also am investing in NPS 7k per month from corporate and 50k yearly myself. My wife also invest in NPS 5k per month. 15k in SIP as same bifurcation. Also I have one ULIP plan for 1 lac per year which I have for 4 years and 3 years left. One ULIP plan we bought for kid as 50k yearly till 18 years of his age. Also some traditional insurance policies running for 50k yearly which I have to pay till 2032 and mature in same year. Pleae suggest if any modifications in financial planning to retire with good corpus.
    Ans: You are 38 and have strong dual income. You also support your 3?year?old child and elderly mother. You already have several investments and insurance. Your goal is to retire with a good corpus. Let’s craft a 360?degree plan with clarity and action.

    ? Income and Cash Flow Assessment
    – Your take?home pay is Rs?2?lakh per month.
    – Wife contributes Rs?1?lakh monthly.
    – Combined take?home is Rs?3?lakh per month.
    – You have home loan EMI Rs?21?k but you pay Rs?31?k.
    – You plan to repay this year by March 2026.
    – This acceleration will save interest and free up funds.
    – Post?loan, that Rs?10?k extra payment becomes investible.
    – Your expenses, child care, and mother’s support fill the rest.
    – Make sure your current fixed expenses are tracked monthly.

    ? Insurance and Risk Cover
    – You hold term insurance of Rs?1.75?cr.
    – This is strong cover for family protection.
    – Health cover is Rs?20?lakh for family.
    – Employer provides Rs?5?lakh more, covering your mother too.
    – Combined Rs?25?lakh health cover is adequate for now.
    – Continue these without interruption.
    – Add top?up cover if costs rise or mother’s age increases.
    – And review health cover plans regularly, especially before retirement.

    ? Emergency Fund Strength
    – You have 7–9 months' buffer in debt funds/savings.
    – That meets financial prudence guidelines.
    – Keep this intact even after loan closure.
    – Do not use for investments or expenses.
    – If your child grows or mother’s expenses increase, revisit this buffer.
    – A robust emergency fund safeguards your entire plan.

    ? ULIP and Traditional Policies Review
    – You pay Rs?1?lac/year premium for one ULIP with 3 years left.
    – You also have ULIP for child (Rs?50?k annually till 18).
    – Plus traditional policies costing Rs?50?k/year till 2032.
    – ULIPs and traditional policies mix insurance and investment.
    – They typically have high charges and low transparency.
    – For retirement income, they are inefficient.

    Recommendation:
    – Surrender the ULIP (your) fully now.
    – Surrender ULIP (child) pending cost?benefit review.
    – Surrender traditional policy once possible without loss.
    – Use the funds to boost mutual funds.

    Benefit:
    – You will gain flexibility, higher return, lower cost.
    – Move funds to active mutual funds via regular plans.
    – Continue child's savings via straightforward mutual funds for education.

    ? Mutual Fund Allocation and Index Funds
    – You invest Rs?42?k SIP across large, mid, small, debt, gold, and index funds.
    – Also, wife invests Rs?15?k via SIP in same allocation.
    – You also invest in NPS: Rs?7?k per month employer, plus Rs?50?k per year yourself.
    – Combined investment is strong and diversified.

    However:
    – You use index funds.
    – Index funds simply copy market indices, including weak stocks.
    – They fall heavily in crises and offer no risk management.
    – Actively managed funds are better for risk control.
    – They allow fund managers to exit underperforming stocks.
    – They can rebalance sectoral exposure effectively.

    So:
    – Gradually shift index fund exposure into actively managed equity funds.
    – Do this via STP over a 6?month horizon to average entry.
    – Maintain debt, gold, and hybrid exposure to balance risk.

    ? NPS Allocation
    – NPS provides retirement benefits with tax advantage.
    – It offers limited but steady equity exposure.
    – Your joint contribution is approx. Rs?1.34?lakh per year (employer + yours + wife).
    – That supports your retirement corpus significantly.

    Note:
    – At retirement, NPS allows 60% lump withdrawal.
    – Remaining 40% must go into annuity.
    – But annuity purchase post retirement is flexible.
    – You can choose to invest lump sum into mutual funds instead.

    Keep your NPS contributions unchanged as a core retirement pillar.

    ? Home Loan Closure Impact
    – You plan to close the remaining Rs?15?lakh principal by Mar 2026.
    – EMI saving will be Rs?25–30?k per month.
    – That will add to your investible surplus.
    – This should be redirected into financial assets post?closure.
    – That will accelerate corpus growth.

    ? Portfolio Rebalancing Post?Loan
    – After loan closure, revisit your asset allocation.
    – Increase SIPs gradually by Rs?25–30?k.
    – Allocate towards equity mutual funds.
    – Keep gold and debt funds intact for diversification.
    – Set target allocation: Equity 60%, Debt/Hybrid 30%, Gold 10%.
    – Within equity, split across large?cap, mid?cap, multicap, and small?cap.
    – Use actively managed funds across categories.

    ? Corpus Target for Comfortable Retirement
    Your retirement goal is “good corpus.”
    Let’s quantify:
    – At retirement, you may need Rs?2–2.5 lakh per month.
    – That equals Rs?24–30 lakh per year.
    – To support that sustainably, you need approximately Rs?6–7 crore corpus.

    You have 22 more working years (age 38 to 60).
    Your growing annual investment plus compounding can target this.

    However, do not rely on one asset.
    Keep building NPS, mutual funds, EPF etc.
    Maintain regular monitoring to ensure progress.

    ? Child’s Future and Education Goals
    – You have a 3?year?old child.
    – Education and possibly marriage need long?term planning.
    – Currently ULIP savings cover these but inefficiently.
    – Better to restructure child’s fund into goal?based mutual funds.
    – Use child?specific multi?cap and hybrid funds.
    – Target education and marriage separately from retirement funds.

    ? Investment Vehicles: Focus on Mutual Funds and NPS
    – Mutual funds should be central for your wealth creation.
    – Actively managed equity and hybrid funds compound faster.
    – Avoid index and direct funds due to lack of advisory support.
    – NPS provides special tax benefits and structured retirement saving.
    – Your current mix (SIP’s plus NPS) is a good foundation.
    – ULIP and traditional policies, once surrendered, will free up better use of capital.

    ? Systematic Withdrawal Plan After Retirement
    – At retirement, avoid lump?sum withdrawals.
    – Instead use SWP from mutual funds.
    – Choose hybrid/debt funds for regular monthly income.
    – Continue equity SWP slowly to avoid depletion.
    – This balances return and capital preservation.
    – It is more tax?efficient than fixed deposits or annuity.

    ? Tax Awareness and Capital Gains
    – Equity fund LTCG over Rs?1.25?lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
    – STCG (under 1 year) is taxed at 20%.
    – Debt fund gains are taxed as per your slab.
    – Use long?term holds to reduce tax.
    – Use SWP to withdraw gradually below taxable thresholds.
    – NPS also offers tax benefits and partial withdrawal rules.

    ? Health and Lifestyle Provisions
    – Living in a village helps reduce cost of living.
    – But medical and emergency travel may still be needed.
    – Maintain high cash buffer in debt/liquid funds.
    – Keep medical insurance for all family members updated.
    – Update elder mother’s insurance as she ages.
    – Plan visits to larger hospitals as necessary.

    ? Periodic Reviews and Discipline
    – Review portfolio and goals every 6 months.
    – Track progress, performance, fund updates, and life changes.
    – Adjust asset allocation based on progress and risk tolerance.
    – Increase SIPs annually with salary hikes or surplus fund.
    – Consider goal reviews for children and retirement periodically.

    ? Behavioural Support through CFP + MFD
    – You have many moving parts.
    – A Certified Financial Planner with Mutual Fund Distributor helps.
    – They provide emotion management during market cycles.
    – They steer allocations, tax moves, and progress.
    – This shared discipline ensures long?term success.

    Direct mutual funds platforms won’t provide this support.
    Index funds likewise have no personal advice.
    Actively managed funds with advisory add real value.

    ? Final Insights
    You are on a strong financial path already.
    Your dual income and family support structure help a lot.
    Loan repayment, emergency fund, insurance, and SIP habit are strong.
    Surrender ULIPs and traditional policies to free capital.
    Continue high SIPs post?loan.
    Avoid index and direct funds.
    Focus on actively managed mutual funds and NPS.
    Invest for children and retirement separately.
    Use SWP post?retirement for sustainable income.
    Maintain insurance and emergency buffer.
    Review regularly and stay disciplined.
    With steady execution, you can build a substantial retirement corpus.

    Best Regards,
    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
    Chief Financial Planner,
    www.holisticinvestment.in
    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9770 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2025Hindi
    Money
    I am 44 years with monthly salary of around 3 lacs plus . I have 3 houses valued 65 lac, 60 lac and 2 Cr. The first two are loan free with monthly rental together around 30 k. Third home I am staying in with loan of around 1 Cr with 1.07 lac emi. At present my mutual fund corpus is 85 lac with 80 k monthly sip. I have mixed of large , madcap and small cap funds. My pf balance is around 25 lac, I have ppf which is maturing next year with around 30 lac corpus. I have taken nps with current annual contribution of 2.4 lacs , current corpus is around 15 lac. I have term plan of 1.5 Cr.with annnual premium of 78 k. and medical insurance for me, wife and son for 20 lac each. The annual premium is around 42 k. . I also have ppf account for wife with around 20 lac corpus which will mature in next 5 years. I will be needing around 50 lac for sons education in next 7-8 years . I am looking at having a corpus of 10 Cr in next 8-10 year's-when I am 55. . Pl suggest
    Ans: You are on the right path towards financial independence. You have good savings, stable income, and well-structured investments. You are 44, targeting a corpus of Rs. 10 Cr in 8–10 years. That’s a very practical and focused goal.

    Let’s now evaluate your current position and guide you with a 360-degree plan to reach your goal confidently.

    ? Assessing your current financial position

    – Your monthly salary is around Rs. 3 lakh.
    – You are investing Rs. 80,000 in SIPs each month.
    – You have Rs. 85 lakh mutual fund corpus already.
    – Your EPF balance is Rs. 25 lakh.
    – Your PPF maturity next year is Rs. 30 lakh.
    – NPS has Rs. 15 lakh corpus with Rs. 2.4 lakh yearly input.
    – You own three houses. Two are debt-free. One has Rs. 1 Cr loan.
    – Your rental income is Rs. 30,000 per month.
    – Your EMI is Rs. 1.07 lakh monthly.
    – Your insurance cover is adequate.
    – You need Rs. 50 lakh for son’s education in 7–8 years.

    You are saving aggressively, which is great. Now, the focus should be to streamline and protect these efforts.

    ? Housing loan and real estate load

    – Two homes are loan-free. They generate Rs. 30,000 rental income.
    – Third home has Rs. 1 Cr loan. EMI is Rs. 1.07 lakh.
    – At this stage, don’t use MF corpus to prepay loan.
    – Continue EMI for now as interest is partly tax-deductible.
    – Maintain liquidity and avoid locking up funds into illiquid real estate.
    – Avoid further property purchases.
    – Focus only on financial asset building now.

    ? Targeting Rs. 10 crore corpus in 8–10 years

    – You are 44. Target is age 52–54.
    – You already have Rs. 85 lakh in mutual funds.
    – Monthly SIP is Rs. 80,000.
    – EPF, PPF, and NPS together are around Rs. 70 lakh.
    – With current pace and disciplined investing,
    – Reaching Rs. 10 Cr is achievable.
    – You may need to step up SIP by 10% yearly.
    – Also consider investing PPF maturity proceeds properly.
    – Corpus needs to beat inflation and cover retirement life.

    ? Managing SIP portfolio and scheme mix

    – You already invest in large, mid, and small cap funds.
    – This is a healthy mix for long-term growth.
    – Ensure there is also a flexi cap fund in portfolio.
    – Avoid sectoral or thematic funds.
    – Review fund performance every year.
    – Exit underperformers in consultation with Certified Financial Planner.
    – Avoid investing in index funds.
    – Index funds track market passively and can’t manage downside risk.
    – Actively managed funds offer better downside protection.
    – They aim for superior returns with active strategy.

    ? Direct funds vs. regular funds

    – If you are investing in direct plans, reconsider.
    – Direct funds may save cost but offer no advice.
    – Wrong fund selection or wrong time exit can damage returns.
    – Regular plans through MFD with CFP give personalised support.
    – Portfolio tracking, SIP health check, and timely fund switch are key.
    – These services can save lakhs over time.

    ? Utilise PPF maturity wisely

    – Your PPF will mature next year. Corpus is Rs. 30 lakh.
    – Do not keep it idle in savings account.
    – Do not re-invest in real estate either.
    – Use this amount for retirement or goal-based MF investments.
    – Prefer hybrid or balanced funds for this portion.
    – This gives growth with stability.

    ? Wife’s PPF maturity and planning

    – Wife’s PPF has Rs. 20 lakh. Maturing in 5 years.
    – Use this as part of retirement or son’s education planning.
    – Start discussing goals with her.
    – You can plan joint investment in mutual funds post maturity.

    ? Education goal of Rs. 50 lakh

    – You need Rs. 50 lakh in 7–8 years.
    – Do not disturb retirement-linked investments for this.
    – Create a separate SIP or STP for this goal.
    – Prefer hybrid or aggressive hybrid funds.
    – These offer stability plus growth over mid-term.
    – Rebalance gradually 3 years before goal.
    – Shift to conservative or debt funds slowly.

    ? Optimise NPS strategy

    – You contribute Rs. 2.4 lakh yearly to NPS.
    – Current corpus is Rs. 15 lakh.
    – This is a useful retirement tool.
    – Don’t stop it. But don’t over-rely on it either.
    – 60% of NPS withdrawal will be tax-free.
    – 40% must be used to buy pension.
    – That limits flexibility.
    – Hence, build more wealth via mutual funds alongside NPS.

    ? Life insurance and health cover status

    – Term insurance of Rs. 1.5 Cr is good.
    – Annual premium of Rs. 78,000 is fine for your age.
    – Medical cover of Rs. 20 lakh each is also sufficient.
    – Don’t go for ULIPs or endowment plans.
    – Don’t combine insurance and investment.
    – Keep them separate.
    – If you have any LIC savings plans or ULIPs,
    – Surrender and reinvest into mutual funds.

    ? Retirement income planning beyond corpus

    – After 10 years, you can consider retiring or slowing down.
    – You will have rental income from two homes.
    – You will have EPF, PPF, NPS, and MF corpus.
    – Focus now should be on inflation-beating growth.
    – Later, shift slowly into safer assets post age 52.
    – Use SWP from mutual funds to generate monthly income.
    – Avoid annuities. They lock money and give poor returns.

    ? Tax awareness and withdrawal planning

    – Mutual fund taxation needs care.
    – LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
    – Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.
    – Plan redemptions in a tax-efficient way.
    – Spread withdrawals across years if possible.
    – Use SWP to manage cash flow and taxes.
    – Keep track of debt fund taxation.
    – Debt fund gains taxed as per income slab.

    ? Future corpus tracking and discipline

    – To reach Rs. 10 crore, stay invested without breaks.
    – Step-up SIP every year by 10–15%.
    – Reinvest PPF maturity and annual bonus if any.
    – Don’t time markets.
    – Rebalance asset allocation every year.
    – Don’t chase trendy funds.
    – Review portfolio with Certified Financial Planner annually.
    – Stick to long-term approach.

    ? Risk protection and contingency planning

    – Maintain emergency fund of 6 months expenses.
    – Don’t mix this with SIP or long-term funds.
    – Keep it in liquid mutual fund or sweep FD.
    – This protects you during job loss or medical crisis.
    – Also review nomination on all accounts.
    – Create a basic Will for asset distribution.

    ? Estate planning and wealth transfer

    – You own 3 houses. Have large financial corpus.
    – Create a Will to ensure smooth asset transfer.
    – Register the Will legally.
    – Involve family in financial discussions once a year.
    – This prevents confusion later.
    – Also makes family confident in handling wealth.

    ? Finally

    – You have a strong financial base already.
    – You are investing in the right direction.
    – Now focus on consistency and protection of wealth.
    – Your Rs. 10 crore target is realistic.
    – With correct fund mix, SIP step-up, and annual reviews,
    – You can achieve and exceed this corpus confidently.
    – Take support of a Certified Financial Planner for annual reviews.
    – Make financial life simpler, goal-based, and peaceful.

    Best Regards,
    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
    Chief Financial Planner,
    www.holisticinvestment.in
    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9770 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

    Money
    My age 43. I have SBI smart privilage for 70 lakhs in ULIP. Five years lock in period is over. So, anytime I can take my money(70lakhs) full or partial. I am planning my retirement at the age of 50 years with monthly pension 100000. Hardly 7 years are there. I am living in a village. Kindly suggest me the retirement plan. Thank you.
    Ans: You are now 43 years old. You plan to retire at 50. That means you have only 7 years left to build your retirement income. You want Rs. 1,00,000 per month after retirement.

    You are living in a village. So, you may have lower monthly expenses than someone in a city. That will help you stretch your retirement corpus better.

    You have invested Rs. 70 lakhs in SBI Smart Privilege ULIP. The 5-year lock-in period is over. So, you can now withdraw partially or fully at any time.

    Now let’s plan for your retirement in detail.

    ? Evaluate Your Existing ULIP

    – ULIP is not meant for retirement planning.
    – It has high charges, low transparency and limited flexibility.
    – The cost structures reduce your return, especially in early years.
    – Fund switches are available, but with limitations.
    – You are not in the accumulation phase anymore.
    – You need to preserve and grow money consistently now.

    So, holding ULIP further is not suitable.
    You should consider surrendering the ULIP completely.

    Take the Rs. 70 lakhs and shift to mutual funds.
    That will give you better control, flexibility and transparency.

    ? Why Surrender ULIP Now

    – Lock-in is already completed.
    – No surrender penalty now.
    – Future returns from ULIP will be lower than mutual funds.
    – You need better liquidity and tax efficiency.
    – ULIP is a mix of insurance and investment.
    – For retirement, you only need pure investment tools.

    Use term insurance separately if protection is still needed.
    Do not mix investment and insurance.

    So, exit the ULIP fully and shift entire Rs. 70 lakhs to mutual funds.

    ? Don’t Consider Index Funds for Retirement

    – Index funds copy the stock market blindly.
    – They carry both good and poor-performing stocks.
    – They fall sharply during market crashes.
    – No protection or rebalancing available.

    At this stage, you cannot take that kind of blind risk.
    You need focused and risk-managed investing.

    Actively managed mutual funds are better.
    They have expert fund managers.
    They rebalance between sectors and avoid bad companies.
    They manage downside and improve long-term performance.

    So, avoid index funds completely.

    ? Avoid Direct Mutual Funds Platforms

    – Direct plans look cheaper but have hidden costs.
    – They don’t offer guidance or review.
    – They don’t support during market crash.
    – They leave you on your own to manage everything.

    This causes panic and bad decisions.
    That will damage your retirement corpus.

    Invest through regular mutual funds.
    Use the support of an experienced Mutual Fund Distributor tied to a Certified Financial Planner.
    They will help you choose, monitor and adjust as per your life needs.

    ? Build A 2-Phase Retirement Portfolio

    Your retirement plan needs two parts:

    Accumulation phase (now till age 50)

    Distribution phase (age 50 onward)

    Let’s see what you can do in both phases.

    ? Accumulation Phase (Age 43–50)

    You have Rs. 70 lakhs today.
    You must grow it steadily over 7 years.

    You should invest this in actively managed equity mutual funds.
    Also add some hybrid and debt funds for balance.

    A good mix can give decent growth and manage market risk.
    This will help your money grow safely without frequent panic.

    You can also consider STP (Systematic Transfer Plan).
    This spreads the investment from one fund to another.
    It reduces entry risk and improves returns.

    Keep monitoring the portfolio every 6 months with your Certified Financial Planner.
    Do not change funds too often.
    Let compounding work quietly.

    Add any extra income, bonus or savings during these years.
    Even Rs. 50,000 extra per year will help.
    Do not keep money idle in savings account.

    ? Distribution Phase (Age 50 onwards)

    From age 50, you want Rs. 1,00,000 per month.
    That means Rs. 12 lakhs per year of income.
    You need to generate this from the retirement corpus.

    At that time, shift to a conservative portfolio.
    It should have some debt mutual funds and low-volatility hybrid funds.
    This reduces risk and supports steady withdrawals.

    Use SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) to withdraw monthly.
    This gives tax-efficient income.

    Withdraw only what you need.
    Let rest of the money remain invested.
    This way, it will continue to grow even during retirement.

    Avoid withdrawing full amount or shifting to bank FDs.
    FDs give low returns and are fully taxable.

    Also avoid annuities.
    They give poor return and no flexibility.
    Once locked, money is not accessible.
    That is risky for you.

    SWP from mutual funds is much better.
    It gives better return and better liquidity.

    ? Build Emergency Fund Separately

    Keep 6–12 months’ expenses in a liquid mutual fund.
    This should not be mixed with the retirement corpus.
    This gives peace of mind during emergencies.

    You are in a village, so medical facilities may be limited.
    So, keep extra for emergency travel or treatment.

    Do not use retirement money for this.
    Keep separate fund always ready.

    ? Continue Medical and Term Insurance

    Check your health insurance coverage.
    It should be minimum Rs. 5–10 lakhs.
    Also include spouse if applicable.

    Buy top-up policy if base cover is low.
    Health costs are rising fast even in rural areas.

    Also check your term insurance cover.
    It should cover any liabilities or dependents' needs.
    If no dependents, you can reduce or stop it.

    Insurance is to protect your retirement plan.
    Without it, a medical emergency can ruin your future.

    ? Tax Planning for Retirement

    After age 50, your mutual fund withdrawals will be taxable.
    Equity fund LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
    STCG is taxed at 20%.

    Debt fund gains are taxed as per your income slab.

    Use SWP in a planned way to reduce tax burden.
    Withdraw just enough to stay in low tax bracket.

    Don’t withdraw in lump sum.
    That will attract higher tax.

    Use the help of a Certified Financial Planner to plan SWP amount.
    That will help optimise tax and preserve capital.

    ? Lifestyle Considerations

    Since you live in a village, your cost of living is lower.
    This gives you a big advantage.

    You don’t need to chase high returns.
    You can follow a moderate-risk approach.
    That will protect your money from market shocks.

    Also, your needs may change with age.
    So review your plan every year with your planner.

    Don’t overspend just because returns are good.
    Stick to a planned lifestyle budget.
    Keep some buffer always for medical and home needs.

    ? Behavioural Discipline is Most Important

    Do not panic during market correction.
    Mutual fund NAV may fall, but will recover.
    Stay invested and continue the plan.

    Many investors destroy their retirement by exiting in fear.
    You must avoid that mistake.

    This is why guidance is very important.
    A good Certified Financial Planner will support you emotionally too.
    They help you stay calm and focused.

    Do not compare your plan with others.
    Your needs and goals are different.
    Trust the process and stay invested.

    ? Finally

    You can retire peacefully at 50 with Rs. 1 lakh per month income.
    But you must take action today.

    Surrender your ULIP completely.
    Shift full amount to actively managed mutual funds.
    Avoid index funds, annuities, and direct mutual funds.
    Build a balanced portfolio for growth and safety.
    Use SWP post retirement for monthly income.
    Maintain health insurance and emergency fund.
    Stay disciplined and review every 6–12 months.

    This approach will help you retire with confidence and security.

    Best Regards,
    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
    Chief Financial Planner,
    www.holisticinvestment.in
    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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