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Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
MK Question by MK on Aug 05, 2022Hindi
Relationship

I want to keep it anonymous.
I am a 30 years old independent woman married for 5 months only.
My husband and I were in same college but were not friends.
He had been approaching me for getting married since 2017, but every time I had rejected his proposal, later in February, 2021 I talked to him openly and mentioned my inability to conceive if we get married.
To which his response was that he really liked me and is ready to accept me with my inability.
I made our families met and we got engaged.
During the one year of courtship period, initial 4-5 months were peaceful, but he and I were missing a bond, yet we thought may be with time we will find it.
After the initial phase as we started meeting for family functions.
He started finding flaws in me. Things like, I stare at other men when I go out, I don’t give him priority, why do I talk to any male friend beyond necessity, why do I praise my senior at office parties etc.
He started controlling me in these areas and used to get angry if I talk to my siblings late night.
I started feeling trapped and suffocated, and always under the fear that any of my action could make my husband angry.
In that anger he seemed like a very different person, someone aggressive.
We started fighting, arguing over petty things.
He wanted me to change but I was reluctant as those were very normal things for me and I started telling him that this relationship is not working.
We are two persons with different mindset and ideologies and since we are unable to reach to a solution over any issue, let’s call it off.
I tried to call this wedding off for like 6 times, but he never agreed to this stating that he loves me and he will change his attitude and will not stop me from doing anything.
Whenever I tried to break up with him he'd start crying, stating things like you are my only happiness in life, and I would die without you and all.
I involved my family into the matter and shared things with them.
They used to call my husband to make him understand my expectations from him.
In front of them my husband used to admit that he would change his behaviour.
He used to stay calm for 5-6 days and then continue with the same attitude.
Basically, it was an on and off behaviour from his side and because of that my behaviour was also affected.
I was trying to see his positive side as he had accepted me with my inability, so he must be a good person.
Somehow, after so many issues, we got married.
After marriage, we went for honeymoon, but he showed a different attitude.
He started insulting me that I stare at other people, including the waiter.
He would fight with me aggressively, and when I cry he'd calm me down stating that this fight is my fault; had I not done this he would not have fought; had I obeyed him he would not have gotten angry. Then he used to make love to me.
For 4 days this happened continuously.
On the 4th day I told him I cannot stand him and bear his mind numbing torture.
If he sees so many flaws in my character we must part our ways, and there is not point of staying together.
He agreed but later he started apologising, asking for another chance to this marriage. I agreed.
But his behaviour didn’t improve much. We used to live with his parents, he started taking active participation in local politics which used to keep him busy.
He started controlling me indirectly for visiting my moms and relatives.
He'd taunt me for not sharing my salary with his parents.
Later I found out his work is not running smooth and he is not making enough.
The issue of staring at men and shaking hands with men while greeting congratulations, was also an issue to him.
He'd remain normal as long as I did things as per his wish.
If I said or did anything opposite, he'd get aggressive and disrespectful towards me.
Love was nowhere around. He never said I am a good looking woman. My husband rarely complimented me though I get many whenever I go out.
He seemed not to be bothered about me except for the time I do something he doesn’t like.
My mom also supported him. His behaviour started taking a toll on my mental condition and I started feeling uncomfortable around him.
I stopped being physical as I was feeling emotionally detached.
The fights had broken me, my bare minimum expectations were not fulfilled.
My husband also broke relations with my family and was disrespectful to them.
Initially he had promised that I will be free to visit my mom whenever I want and he will not seek my salary ever or doubt my character, but nothing turned to be true.
After 4 months of torture, I came to my mom's place and told my husband that I cannot live with him.
I actually feel much better without him. As soon as he knew that I am leaving him he has surrendered and is admitting that he made mistakes and doesn’t want to lose me.
He says I am his only hope in life and he loves me a lot and can’t live without me.
He does the same emotional drama every time I try to part ways with him.
My family is pressurising me to give him another chance. But my trust is shattered beyond repair.
He made my cry, he pushed me into depression.
I do not respect him. He accepted me with my inability, but I feel he never liked the real me.
He is not ready to admit this fact that we have not been good for each other.
To me he seems like a male chauvinist, a dominating and controlling person.
He stays grumpy most of the time, behaves well with others but is arrogant with family members.
What do I do? I am in utter confusion, I am unable to force myself into a love-less marriage and my family and husband doesn’t understand it.
(I am a government officer and my husband runs a small business)

Ans:

Dear MK,

This is a classic case of crying out, blaming the spouse for the crying and sending her on a guilt trip, promising to do better, not following through and when she walks out, crying out again.

It's cyclical and traps you within in the loop.

He really needs to work out his stuff with a professional, else this is going to be something that you have to deal with repeatedly.

To not be able to take responsibility for his actions, shifting blame onto you, acting insecure and preventing you from leading your life the way that you are used to -- like talking to your family and friends -- are all red flags.

Step up, take charge and suggest that he goes to a professional if he wants the marriage to work.

If he doesn’t and continues the same way, you know what you must do to secure yourself and your life.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 25, 2022

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Relationship
Hi, me and my husband are married for 12 years now, we have a daughter. Both of us are totally different, like north and south pole. He is very extrovert, tries to be the centre of attention, always needs his social circle, his work, friends circle is all that matters to him. I am a total introvert. I don't care about having friends, I hate parties, all that matters to me is my family. First few years, he made me feel that I am a misfit in this world and I had a huge pressure to be an extrovert like him. He was always like how can this famous Mr Extrovert can have such an introvert wife, that's so shameful. I tried changing myself because I was so desperate for his love and respect. All that mattered to him was my looks, how I conducted myself in front of people and after pregnancy, all that bothered him was my weight gain. I started hating myself, believed that maybe I just don't deserve to be loved. I went into depression after pregnancy. I had to leave my job to take care of my baby, his mom who was bed ridden by then, his dad who had serious health issues. I told him, thought he would at least care then. It took him 3 years after that to even come with me to a psychiatrist. He never cared. I always thought it’s my fault, tried to patch things up but now I am tired, really tired. I feel suffocated. I am afraid of separating from him. As a person, he is good but we are totally misfit for each other. I still cannot come to terms with all the emotional abuse I went through. He didn't intend to harm me, he thought he is only helping me to improve and be better but now, I don't know what to do, I am not happy.
Ans:

Dear SN, It’s a wonder why anyone would go to such lengths to change themselves for another; especially their personalities: what makes them who they are! All in the name of saving relationships and love.

True love within a relationship doesn’t demand that the other person change themselves upside down, but it embraces who the other person is unconditionally.

And what makes you think that an extroverted person has the right to change an introverted person?

Did you try and change him to be like you? No! Then why is the reverse even being given so much importance. Also, your husband does not any right to mock you!

His world is different from yours as much as your world is different from yours. And kindly remember: Extroverts (if you want to label them), ate people who are happy with a lot of company around them, are vocal about liking being in a crowd and having a good time spending time with people.

They are not ones who poke fun at the way their spouses look, try and change them to suit their personalities.

So, who you are living with right now is a man with very poor self-esteem and huge insecurities and is blaming you for these and trying to change you will make him feel better.

Do not feed into this game; as once you begin to show that you will yield to his demands, that’s all you are going to do for life. He has to change from within!

He has to understand that what is going on within him is the cause of his misery and not you. But of course, doing something for a spouse even when you don’t like it has to be out of your own will and not forced. Now you take a call as to how you are going to deal with this in your marriage.

READ WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN: He didn't intend to harm me, he thought he is only helping me to improve and be better!

Do you really need help or does he? You have started to actually believe that you are at fault and that it is your problem.

Bottom line: You change only if you wish to and that too with things that don’t challenge your value systems. Never be forced into anything; period!

Either sit him down and assert this point or ask him to visit a professional to take care of his state of mind.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu,I m 32 yr old girl and been married in arrange marriage with a guy he is also 32 it's been one year.He is very harsh to talk to and I get usually very hurt because of his words. I always feel like walking out of this marriage for peace. He is very unromantic and ungrateful. On top of this our views on marriage, togetherness and sex are very different. I never had sex with him till now. And I don't feel like having sex with him. There are many fights between us. The way his mother and father talk I feel stuck in my life.There is no progress in career because constantly we are under tensions. My past relationships were very nice and sweet so I always happened to compare him with my ex in my mind. I don't know what happens to me. When he comes close to me I stop talking breaths. We just cuddle each other and hug but other things like kiss and sex I don't feel to have. Please guide me as soon as possible.
Ans:

Dear RJ,

Is there any reason for not wanting to be sexually intimate?

Most often this is linked to some emotional distress or filters in the mind that you are unaware of and which could be interfering in the two of you coming closer together.

A good round of talks with your partner can help you express your exact feelings to him.

What is bothering you, what you feel you don’t receive from him, why is it that you are unable to reciprocate…these are a few things that you can discuss with him.

Also, spending quality time together can ease and spruce up things a bit.

Most often, we love throwing our feelings under the rug pretending that they will go away; but they don’t, they come back to haunt you at times that you least expect them to.

So, when you feel stuck, think of what you can do to get un-stuck? What are all things that you can think, feel and do to free yourself so that you not only feel good, but you also start to focus on things that matter; like for example your career.

Comparing one human to the another and expecting them to change and be someone else; could this be one of the reasons for you to not want the sexual intimacy?

Sex is one of the dimensions in a marriage and it can bring the couple closer.

So rather than thinking of what is going wrong, focus on how you can make things work and enable your partner to join this journey of bringing back finer and joyful moments in a marriage.

Be happy!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 19, 2022

Relationship
 Hello mam,(I want to remain anonymous )I want to ask regarding my relationship with my husband.We got married in 2013 and after a month and so...He started saying I shouldn't mingle with Muslim friends who were my colleagues in my office. I told him they are good people and we've never had such kind of differences. But he got angry and from here one by one he started picking fights for each and everything. Since we are newly weds, I asked if we can explore new nearby(one day trip)places during the weekend, which he didn't do. My parents lived nearby and since we used to stay at home they'd call us on weekends for lunch or dinner. He started fighting for that also. He also started body shaming me saying I have gained weight (and everyone in his home are commenting about my weight). I had only gained 3 kgs after my marriage.He said I have relationships with colleagues even after my engagement, which was not the case. Later he said I shouldn't go out for lunch meetings arranged by the company for the whole team. He said I'm wasting time in the company and there is no bright future. I tried to find a job outside but I couldn't cope up with the demeaning and exhausting behaviour in the house and non-stop workload in the office. I agree I was a bit lazy to find a new job but I couldn't do it. In 2015 I left the job and was jobless for 2 months (this happened drastically after a big fight in his hometown that too for trivial reasons). During these two months he made my life a living hell. He would fight for the smallest of things. I had to take care of the house, his younger brother and sister. There were times when we fought because I took care more of his siblings and not him (I used to wonder why he is being hostile when taking care of his family).In 2016 we started our family planning and by God's grace we had baby in 2017. Even when I was pregnant he used to pressurize me to ask my mom to come and take care of me but my mom used to work in a different city and I was thoroughly taken care by my granny and my father. He had problems with that as well. When he started fighting for this matter, I asked him to bring his mother (I knew it was not possible because it's difficult to leave the home and come take care of me) but he kept on saying weird things and insulting my mother saying she is dominating, irresponsible.After having the baby he left me in his hometown for 1 whole year saying that till I prepare myself for the interview and find a new job he will not live with me. I kept begging him, fought with him and even tried to commit suicide because I didn't want to live there anymore after 8 months. I just wanted to come back and have my family which he denied saying he has financial problems. Ultimately I had to pressurise my parents to intervene and take me and my child to their home.Whenever he felt like seeing his daughter he used to come. Otherwise he totally ignored us. My parents and I begged him to come home and stay but he refused (we had a tight financial situation so we couldn't afford a house). My father arranged a small home without any amenities to keep his house's unwanted things. My husband said he will stay there and not in my parents’ house for which I objected. Yet he stayed there for almost 6 months. Later I found a job and moved to a new house.When the pandemic hit I lost my beloved father and my job. I could have saved him but my husband did not allow me to go to my parents place even after explaining to him the situation that my parents are facing. My father did not die of Covid but due to medical negligence. He wanted me to cook and take care of his family in his hometown.He suggested my mother and brother to take leave of two months and sort out all the legal activities which they couldn't. My brother had to leave for his job overseas and mother back to her job. She used to come every three weeks and ask for my help to get things done. He got angry for that and kept on blaming me that I only take care of my family and not him. After my father's death he started insulting my mother. He even made his father to call my mom and talk cheap with her and my brother.Fast forward to now, we have been fighting non-stop and every week there will be a fight, name calling, vulgar words exchanged. He stops talking to me for months together and there has hardly been any physical or emotional intimacy. Even after I confess, cajole and plead with him to sort out our family, he agrees momentarily and again within a week there will be a new topic to fight on in such a way it goes to extremes.This roller coaster ride -- the fights in our relationship -- has affected my child immensely and sometimes for the sake of the child we plan not to divorce each other. But I'm guilty that I'm not providing my child a healthy environment. That I'm not a good wife. I'm confused whether I should continue in this relationship or quit it for the betterment of the three of us because I cannot take this emotional abuse and have my child watching me cry non-stop. Please guide me if my husband will change in future. Should I try counselling or do I divorce him? Because whenever I keep my hopes positive, he goes back to his old ways.
Ans:

Dear VS,

You are married to a man who gets his self-esteem and validation by showing you in poor light, exercises control by telling you who your professional/social circle should be, makes you weak by detaching you from your parents and those who are your support system.

Does this put things into perspective for you as to where you are in within your marriage?

Once you fulfil the above, he might be willing to somewhat accept you, but there will be constant new demands to keep his self-esteem high. It’s all about him, him, and him.

Does he need to visit a professional who can guide him to a better way of thinking? Yes, but that will happen only when he acknowledges his false sense of existence and flushed ego.

If that is possible, do visit a professional who can help him ably and then he might be able to see the marriage in a new light and his contribution towards it.

Till then, this seems to be a battle with a child who is adamant about getting one candy and then another and yet another and then crying out loud when denied.

The child is absolutely growing up in an emotionally challenging environment and this will obviously affect his growth, both physically and emotionally.

I am glad you have been thinking about what to do and now you know what an absolute must-have for the marriage is, to continue.

He must change the way he thinks and acts and treats you like his partner and not someone who was married to him for his sense of validation and self-esteem.

Be wise, watch and decide!

All the best!

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 45 with 7 LPA salary. I have a purchased plot. I want to move out of my current house in 2 years. Should I build a house or purchase a flat?
Ans: Your Current Situation
At 45 years old with a salary of Rs 7 lakhs per annum, you own a plot and plan to move out of your current house in 2 years.

Key Considerations
Let's evaluate whether you should build a house or purchase a flat based on several factors.

Financial Assessment
Building a House
Pros:

Customization: You can design it according to your preferences and needs.

Potential Cost Savings: Building can be cheaper per square foot compared to buying a ready-made flat, depending on the area.

Appreciation: The value of a well-built house on your own plot may appreciate more over time.

Cons:

Time-Consuming: Construction can take a long time, potentially more than 2 years.

Management: Requires constant supervision and dealing with contractors, which can be stressful.

Initial Costs: High initial outlay for construction materials and labor.

Purchasing a Flat
Pros:

Convenience: Ready to move in, no waiting period or construction hassle.

Amenities: Flats often come with amenities like security, maintenance, gym, pool, etc.

Fixed Cost: Fixed price with no unexpected expenses compared to potential construction overruns.

Cons:

Less Customization: Limited to the builder's design and layout.

Maintenance Costs: Monthly maintenance charges can be high in some apartments.

Appreciation: Flats may appreciate less compared to individual houses on plots.

Lifestyle Considerations
Building a House
Privacy: More privacy and space compared to flats.

Expansion: Easier to expand or modify in the future as per your needs.

Community: Less communal living; more suited for those who prefer privacy.

Purchasing a Flat
Community Living: Better community interaction, good for families.

Security: Enhanced security measures compared to independent houses.

Maintenance: Professional maintenance of common areas and facilities.

Long-Term Goals
Financial Goals
Investment Potential: Consider long-term appreciation potential. A well-built house may offer better returns.

Future Expenses: Think about long-term maintenance and repair costs for both options.

Personal Goals
Retirement Plans: Consider which option suits your retirement lifestyle better. Flats often offer a more carefree lifestyle with less personal responsibility for maintenance.

Family Needs: Assess the needs of your family. Flats might be more suitable for small families or those who value community amenities.

Final Insights
Recommendation
Based on your situation, I recommend assessing the following before making a decision:

Time and Stress: If you have the time and are willing to manage construction, building a house can be rewarding. If not, purchasing a flat is convenient and less stressful.

Financial Position: Ensure you have a clear budget. Building a house can have unexpected costs. Flats have fixed pricing.

Long-Term View: Consider your long-term living and investment goals. Flats offer convenience and community, while a house offers privacy and potential higher appreciation.

Ultimately, the decision depends on your personal preferences, financial readiness, and long-term goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 40 year old. Monthly take home 4L(Standard EPF of 1800 deducted). 2 kids 8 year girl and 1 year boy. 55L in Mutual Fund 36L in PF 30L in NPS Land of current value 70L Emergency Fund 10L Health insurance 1Cr, Term Insurance 3Cr and Parental Insurance 25L 1. 56K EMI for HomeLoan (24L due) 2. 20K VPF 3. 52.5K NPS 3. 1.5L Mutual Fund 4. 40K school Fees 5. 12.5K Suknya Yojna 6. 20K debt fund 7. 60K monthly Expenses 8. 11K Gold What will be the strategy to retire in next 15 year by keeping enough money for retirement and Child Education?
Ans: Evaluating Your Current Financial Situation
You have a good income and diversified investments. Let’s analyse your current assets and liabilities to strategise for retirement and child education.

Assets Overview
Mutual Funds: Rs. 55 lakh
Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 36 lakh
National Pension System (NPS): Rs. 30 lakh
Land: Rs. 70 lakh
Emergency Fund: Rs. 10 lakh
Health Insurance: Rs. 1 crore
Term Insurance: Rs. 3 crore
Parental Insurance: Rs. 25 lakh
Liabilities Overview
Home Loan EMI: Rs. 56,000 (24 lakh due)
Monthly Expenses: Rs. 60,000
Children’s Education and Future: Significant future costs
Current Monthly Investments
Voluntary Provident Fund (VPF): Rs. 20,000
NPS: Rs. 52,500
Mutual Funds: Rs. 1,50,000
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana: Rs. 12,500
Debt Fund: Rs. 20,000
Gold: Rs. 11,000
Retirement and Child Education Strategy
Define Your Goals
Retirement in 15 Years
Children’s Education Fund
Retirement Planning
Step 1: Calculate Retirement Corpus
Estimate your retirement expenses. Factor in inflation and life expectancy. Assume Rs. 1 lakh monthly expenses at retirement. With 6% inflation, this becomes Rs. 2.4 lakh per month in 15 years.

Step 2: Increase Contributions
NPS: Continue with Rs. 52,500. This will accumulate significant corpus.
Mutual Funds: Continue Rs. 1.5 lakh. Increase by 5-10% annually to keep pace with inflation.
Step 3: Diversify Investments
Equity Exposure: Focus on equity mutual funds for growth. They offer higher returns over long-term.
Debt Exposure: Maintain a balanced portfolio. Keep investing in debt funds for stability.
Child Education Planning
Step 1: Estimate Education Costs
Education costs are rising. Assume Rs. 50 lakh for each child’s higher education.

Step 2: Dedicated Investments
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana: Continue Rs. 12,500 for your daughter.
Equity Mutual Funds: Allocate Rs. 50,000 monthly for both children’s education. Increase annually.
Managing Liabilities
Home Loan Repayment
Accelerate EMI: Pay an additional EMI yearly if possible. This reduces interest and tenure.
Prepay Loan: Use bonuses or increments to prepay the home loan. Aim to close it within 5-7 years.
Emergency Fund
Maintain Rs. 10 lakh for emergencies. Ensure it covers at least 6 months of expenses.

Insurance Coverage
You have adequate health, term, and parental insurance. Regularly review and adjust coverage if needed.

Gold Investments
Continue Rs. 11,000 in gold for diversification. It’s a good hedge against inflation.

Final Insights
To retire comfortably and fund your children's education:

Continue and increase current investments.
Focus on equity for long-term growth.
Maintain a balanced portfolio.
Prepay home loan to reduce liabilities.
Regularly review and adjust your financial plan with a Certified Financial Planner.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2024Hindi
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Money
Sir my name is khekaho from nagaland Iam married with one son and one daughter,both me and my wife are state government employees with the monthly salary of rupees 54 thousand and 53 thousand respectively.I would like you to give us an ideas of how to secure our feature when we retired .
Ans: Name: Khekaho
Location: Nagaland
Marital Status: Married with one son and one daughter
Employment: Both state government employees
Monthly Salaries: Rs 54,000 and Rs 53,000
Financial Planning Goals
Retirement Security
Children's Education
Emergency Fund
Wealth Creation
Step-by-Step Financial Plan
1. Assess Your Current Financial Situation

Monthly Combined Income: Rs 1,07,000
Expenses: List all monthly expenses
Savings: Calculate your current savings and investments
2. Create an Emergency Fund

Amount: 6-12 months of expenses
Investment: High-interest savings account or short-term FDs
3. Children's Education Fund

Estimate Costs: Project future education costs
Investment: SIPs in diversified mutual funds or child education plans
4. Retirement Planning

Employee Provident Fund (EPF)

Contribution: Both you and your wife contribute to EPF
Benefit: Tax-free and compounding interest
Public Provident Fund (PPF)

Contribution: Invest in PPF for tax benefits
Tenure: 15 years with partial withdrawals allowed after 5 years
Mutual Funds

Diversification: Invest in a mix of equity and debt mutual funds
SIP: Start monthly SIPs to benefit from rupee cost averaging
National Pension System (NPS)

Contribution: Invest in NPS for retirement corpus
Benefit: Tax benefits under Section 80C and 80CCD
5. Insurance Planning

Life Insurance

Term Plan: Both should have a term insurance plan
Coverage: At least 10-15 times your annual income
Health Insurance

Family Floater Plan: Cover the entire family
Sum Assured: Adequate to cover medical emergencies
6. Debt Management

High-Interest Loans: Pay off any high-interest debt
Home Loans: Ensure timely payments to avoid penalties
7. Wealth Creation

Diversified Investments

Equity Mutual Funds: For long-term growth
Debt Mutual Funds: For stability and regular income
Regular Monitoring

Review Portfolio: Regularly review and adjust your investments
Rebalance: Ensure your portfolio aligns with your risk tolerance and goals
Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
Expert Management

Regular Funds: Managed by experienced professionals
Benefit: Better risk management and returns
Convenience

Ease: Investing through Certified Financial Planners offers personalized advice
Disadvantages of Index Funds
Limited Flexibility

Tracking: Index funds strictly follow market indices
Drawback: Lack of active management to adapt to market changes
Lower Returns

Potential: Actively managed funds can outperform index funds
Final Insights
Start Early: The sooner you start, the better
Diversify: Spread investments across different asset classes
Consult a CFP: Professional advice ensures a comprehensive plan
Review Regularly: Adjust your plan as needed to stay on track
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

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Money
I need of financial planning, I'm getting salary of 76k per month, and yearly bonus of 2 lacs suggest a best financial plan. I've 10k for house hold n other misc expenses
Ans: With a monthly salary of Rs 76,000 and a yearly bonus of Rs 2 lakhs, here is a structured financial plan:

Income and Expenses
Monthly Income:

Salary: Rs 76,000
Monthly Expenses:

Household and Miscellaneous: Rs 10,000
Savings and Investments: Rs 66,000
Budget Allocation
1. Emergency Fund:

Target: 6 months of expenses (Rs 60,000 x 6 = Rs 3,60,000)
Monthly Contribution: Rs 10,000
Instrument: High-interest savings account or liquid fund
2. Retirement Planning:

Target: Secure retirement corpus
Monthly Contribution: Rs 20,000
Instrument: Public Provident Fund (PPF), Employee Provident Fund (EPF), and National Pension System (NPS)
3. Child’s Education:

Target: Future education expenses
Monthly Contribution: Rs 10,000
Instrument: Equity mutual funds via SIP
4. Health and Life Insurance:

Target: Adequate insurance coverage
Monthly Contribution: Rs 5,000
Instrument: Family floater health insurance, term life insurance
5. Short-term Goals:

Target: Vacations, gadgets, etc.
Monthly Contribution: Rs 5,000
Instrument: Recurring deposit or short-term debt mutual funds
6. Tax-saving Investments:

Target: Maximize tax benefits
Monthly Contribution: Rs 6,000
Instrument: Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS), PPF, NPS
Yearly Bonus Allocation
1. Lump Sum Investments:

Target: Long-term wealth creation
Amount: Rs 1,50,000
Instrument: Equity mutual funds (lump sum investment)
2. Extra Emergency Fund:

Target: Additional safety net
Amount: Rs 50,000
Instrument: High-interest savings account or liquid fund
Monitoring and Adjustments
1. Regular Review:

Review your financial plan every 6 months.
Adjust based on changes in income, expenses, or financial goals.
2. Professional Guidance:

Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized advice.
Stay updated with market trends and tax laws.
Final Insights
Your structured financial plan ensures a balanced approach to savings, investments, and expenses. By following this plan, you can achieve your financial goals and secure your future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, I am 31 years old. I am planning to retire at the age between 45 to 48. I want to generate wealth of at least 10Cr by the time I retire. As of today, I have MF corpus of 28L(17.5L/10.4L) with monthly SIPs of 42500. Current ongoing SIPs in 1. Quant Active Fund - 5k 2. Axis Midcap Fund - 5k 3. Mirae Asset ELSS - 5k 4. SBI Small Cap - 5k 5. Nippon India US Equity Opp. Fund - 2.5k 6. DSP ELSS Tax Saver - 1k 7. Mirae Asset Large & Mid Cap - 5k 8. Nippon India Small Cap - 5k 9. Quant Mid Cap - 3k 10. Quant Small Cap - 3k 11. Quant Flexi Cap - 3k There are 3 Stopped SIPs 1. Axis Bluechip Fund - 1.5L Invested / 2.07L valuation 2. Nippon India ELSS Tax Saver - 94k invested / 2.06L valuation 3. Aditya Birla SL ELSS Tax Saver - 94k invested / 1.64L Valuation Please suggest if I need to change my strategy in investing MF with above ongoing and stopped SIPs. Also, on top of MF investment, I have, PF corpus 11.5L with expected 8% YoY contribution. NPS corpus 11L with expected 8% YoY contribution. 30L in FDs with 9% compounding interest rate and treating same as emergency fund. 6.25L in stocks. Investing in individual stocks and via smallcase baskets(Enery, Banking and Metal Tracker) with 20-25k on quartely basis. PPF corpus of approx. 5L with 5k per month contribution with 9 years remaining. HDFC SL ProGrowth Plus with Sum Assured 12L with pending 8 premius of 60k per year. Me and my wife don't have any term or health insurance. Both of us are relying on corporate health insurance for family. I have home loan of 1.2Cr with EMI of 80k which is a biggest chunk of in hand salary. Household and personal expenses are around 20k per month. So, looking at above details how should I plan my financials for kid's(no kid yet) education/marriage and post retirement life ?
Ans: Your Current Financial Situation
Let’s review your current situation. You have a diverse portfolio with SIPs, mutual funds, stocks, FDs, and more.

Investments
Mutual Fund Corpus: Rs 28 lakhs
Monthly SIPs: Rs 42,500
Provident Fund: Rs 11.5 lakhs
NPS: Rs 11 lakhs
Fixed Deposits: Rs 30 lakhs
Stocks: Rs 6.25 lakhs
PPF: Rs 5 lakhs
HDFC SL ProGrowth Plus: Sum Assured Rs 12 lakhs
Liabilities
Home Loan: Rs 1.2 crores with an EMI of Rs 80,000 per month
Expenses: Rs 20,000 per month
Insurance
Corporate Health Insurance: Only relying on this for health coverage
Investment Strategy Evaluation
You have a robust and diversified investment strategy. Let’s refine it further.

Mutual Funds
You have a wide variety of mutual funds, including equity, ELSS, and international funds.

Active vs. Stopped SIPs
Active SIPs: Quant Active Fund, Axis Midcap Fund, Mirae Asset ELSS, SBI Small Cap, Nippon India US Equity Opp. Fund, DSP ELSS Tax Saver, Mirae Asset Large & Mid Cap, Nippon India Small Cap, Quant Mid Cap, Quant Small Cap, Quant Flexi Cap

Stopped SIPs: Axis Bluechip Fund, Nippon India ELSS Tax Saver, Aditya Birla SL ELSS Tax Saver

Recommendations for Mutual Funds
Consolidation: Reduce the number of funds. This simplifies management and avoids overlap.

Focus on Performance: Keep funds with consistent performance.

Direct vs. Regular Funds
Disadvantages of Direct Funds: Lack professional guidance. Regular funds offer better management through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).
Additional Investment Suggestions
Debt Instruments
PPF and NPS: Continue contributions. They offer stability and tax benefits.
Stocks and Smallcases
Stock Investments: Keep investing quarterly. Diversify across sectors for balanced growth.
Fixed Deposits
Emergency Fund: Maintain Rs 30 lakhs in FDs. Ensure easy access for emergencies.
Insurance Needs
Health Insurance
Individual Health Insurance: Get a separate health insurance plan. Corporate plans may not be sufficient.
Term Insurance
Life Cover: Get a term insurance plan for adequate life cover. This secures your family’s future.
Loan Management
Home Loan
Prepayment: Consider prepaying the home loan with surplus funds. This reduces interest burden and tenure.
Child’s Education and Marriage Planning
Systematic Investments
SIPs for Education: Start SIPs dedicated to your future child's education. Aim for growth-oriented funds.

Marriage Fund: Similarly, allocate funds for marriage expenses.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana
For Girl Child: If you have a girl child, consider investing in Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana for her future.
Retirement Planning
Retirement Corpus
Target: Aim for a retirement corpus of Rs 10 crores by age 45-48.
Strategy
Increase SIPs Annually: Increase your SIPs by 15% every year. This leverages compounding effectively.

Balanced Portfolio: Maintain a balanced portfolio with equity, debt, and other instruments.

Professional Management
Certified Financial Planner: Work with a CFP for personalized advice. They help manage and optimize your investments.
Final Insights
You have a strong investment base. Simplify your mutual fund portfolio and focus on high-performing funds. Get adequate health and life insurance. Prepay your home loan to reduce the burden. Plan systematically for your child's education and marriage. Work with a Certified Financial Planner to achieve your retirement goal of Rs 10 crores.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I want to seek your advise on PMS for me. I have retired last year and have received a corpus of 1 cr. I have investments in FD, PPF, mutual Fund, Senior citizen scheme, mutual funds and SIP. Please advise if PMS is good for me as I want to generate more money for my son’s future.
Ans: It’s great that you are thinking about your son’s future. You have already diversified your investments well. This is commendable.

Overview of Portfolio Management Services (PMS)
PMS involves professional management of investments. It offers tailored investment strategies. Let's explore whether it suits your needs.

Benefits of PMS
Professional Management: Managed by expert portfolio managers.

Customised Strategies: Tailored to individual goals and risk tolerance.

Active Management: Regular adjustments based on market conditions.

Potential for Higher Returns: Aims to outperform standard investments.

Drawbacks of PMS
High Fees: Management fees can be substantial.

Minimum Investment: Usually requires a large initial investment.

Market Risk: Investments are subject to market volatility.

Lack of Liquidity: It may have lock-in periods or exit loads.

Evaluating PMS for Your Needs
You have a significant corpus of Rs. 1 crore. Let's evaluate if PMS aligns with your goals.

Professional Management: PMS offers expert handling. This might appeal to you.

Customisation: Your specific needs for your son's future can be addressed.

Active Management: Ensures your portfolio is aligned with market changes.

Comparing PMS with Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are also professionally managed. Let’s compare both options.

Advantages of Mutual Funds
Diversification: Spreads risk across many investments.

Lower Costs: Generally lower fees than PMS.

Liquidity: Easier to buy and sell units.

Simplicity: Easier to understand and manage.

Disadvantages of PMS
High Costs: Higher fees can eat into returns.

Complexity: Requires understanding of various strategies.

Risk: Higher risk due to concentrated investments.

Recommendation
Considering your current investments, PMS might offer higher returns. However, it also comes with higher risks and costs.

Benefits of Continuing with Mutual Funds and SIPs
Diversification: Reduces risk.

Cost-Effective: Lower fees compared to PMS.

Ease of Management: Simpler to handle.

Drawbacks of PMS
High Fees: Can reduce net returns.

Market Volatility: Subject to high market risks.

Final Insights
Given your diversified portfolio, sticking with mutual funds and SIPs is advisable. They offer professional management with lower costs and risks.

You can consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to review your portfolio. This will ensure it aligns with your goals for your son's future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Listen
Money
I am 45 yr. Old house wife. Wish to gain knowledge about NPS(National Pension Scheme) in detail. Can i open it by my own? If yes what is the procedure? Can a person have more then 2 Nps a/c.? A detailed insight needed.
Ans: The National Pension Scheme (NPS) is a government-sponsored retirement savings scheme. It is designed to provide financial security during retirement. NPS offers a mix of equity, fixed income instruments, corporate bonds, and government securities. Here’s a detailed insight into NPS:

Eligibility and Account Opening
Who Can Open an NPS Account?

Any Indian citizen aged between 18 and 70 years can open an NPS account. This includes both salaried individuals and self-employed professionals.
Types of NPS Accounts

Tier I Account: This is the primary retirement account. It is mandatory and offers tax benefits.

Tier II Account: This is a voluntary savings account. It allows withdrawals at any time but does not offer tax benefits.

Procedure to Open an NPS Account
Online Method

Visit the official NPS website or a Point of Presence (PoP) online portal.

Complete the registration form with your personal details.

Upload required documents like PAN, Aadhaar, and a photograph.

Make an initial contribution of at least Rs. 500.

Offline Method

Visit the nearest PoP, typically a bank branch.

Fill out the NPS registration form.

Submit KYC documents (PAN, Aadhaar, etc.).

Make the initial contribution at the PoP counter.

Can a Person Have More Than One NPS Account?
Single NPS Account Policy

An individual can only have one NPS account. Multiple accounts are not allowed under the scheme.
Investment Options and Fund Management
Active Choice

You select the allocation among equities, corporate bonds, and government securities.
Auto Choice

The allocation is automatically managed based on your age.
Tax Benefits and Withdrawals
Tax Benefits

Contributions up to Rs. 1.5 lakhs are eligible for tax deduction under Section 80C.

An additional Rs. 50,000 deduction is available under Section 80CCD (1B).

Withdrawals

Up to 60% of the corpus can be withdrawn tax-free at retirement.

The remaining 40% must be used to purchase an annuity, providing regular pension.

How to Maximize Benefits from NPS
Regular Contributions

Make regular contributions to grow your retirement corpus.

Increase your contributions whenever possible to benefit from compounding.

Monitor Performance

Regularly review the performance of your NPS investments.

Switch between fund managers if required to optimize returns.

Additional Tips
Combine with Other Investments

Use NPS alongside other investment options like mutual funds and PPF for a balanced retirement portfolio.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner

A Certified Financial Planner can help you optimize your investment strategy and maximize benefits.
Final Insights
NPS is a robust retirement savings option offering tax benefits and diversified investments. Opening an account is simple, and you can manage it online or offline. Remember, you can only have one NPS account. Regular contributions and monitoring are key to maximizing your retirement corpus. Consider combining NPS with other investments for a balanced approach. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance and ensure you make the most of your NPS investments.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |5295 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I am 37 years old and have a kid 4 5 months old ..I want to invest 2.5 laksh lump sum for a long time period of 25-30 years..which investment instrument should I opt for ..what will be the returns depending on the instrument you suggest ...
Ans: You want to invest Rs 2.5 lakhs lump sum for 25-30 years. Here's a detailed analysis of suitable investment instruments:

Equity Mutual Funds
Potential Returns:

Equity mutual funds can provide high returns.
Historically, they offer 12-15% annual returns over the long term.
Benefits:

Diversification across various sectors.
Professional fund management.
Flexibility to switch between funds.
Risks:

Market volatility can impact short-term performance.
Requires a long-term horizon to mitigate risks.
Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Potential Returns:

PPF offers 7-8% annual returns.
Returns are compounded annually.
Benefits:

Government-backed and risk-free.
Tax benefits under Section 80C.
Long lock-in period aligns with your investment horizon.
Risks:

Lower returns compared to equity mutual funds.
Limited liquidity due to a 15-year lock-in period.
National Pension System (NPS)
Potential Returns:

NPS offers 8-10% annual returns.
Combines equity, corporate bonds, and government securities.
Benefits:

Tax benefits under Section 80C and Section 80CCD(1B).
Flexibility to choose asset allocation.
Low management fees.
Risks:

Returns depend on market performance.
Partial withdrawal restrictions until retirement.
Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGB)
Potential Returns:

SGBs offer 2.5% annual interest plus capital gains linked to gold prices.
Historically, gold has provided 8-10% annual returns.
Benefits:

Government-backed with no storage issues.
Tax benefits if held till maturity.
Hedge against inflation and currency risks.
Risks:

Gold prices can be volatile.
Long tenure of 8 years may not align perfectly with your horizon.
Unit Linked Insurance Plan (ULIP)
Potential Returns:

ULIPs can offer 8-10% annual returns.
Combines investment with insurance.
Benefits:

Dual benefit of investment and insurance.
Tax benefits under Section 80C.
Flexibility in switching between equity, debt, and balanced funds.
Risks:

High charges in initial years.
Returns depend on fund performance and market conditions.
Final Insights
For a long-term horizon, equity mutual funds are the best option. They offer high returns and professional management. Diversify your investments for risk management. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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