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Anu

Anu Krishna  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
ASHOK Question by ASHOK on Apr 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Ma'am, I am 66 years old my wife has expired since 11 months and i am in affair with my brother sister in law who is divorce and by age 55 years in services .I have two audit children's well settled married and living separately . they have their kids and enjoying their life . I feel alone and could not pass time on holiday . During my working days services it is ok in office . we use to meeting on holiday . she is staying with his younger brother . even she want to have happy relation with me . How can i convene my children's and her family member . kindly advise .

Ans: Dear Ashok,
I am truly sorry for your loss...
Find courage to sit with your children and tell them about it. Do expect that there is a possibility of rejection from them as they have never seen you with any other lady other than their mother. So the initial rejection and mockery is a possibility. It will be the same at her end as well. The family members will cite age, society etc as a reason as to why this relationship/alliance is wrong.
Both of you must be patient through all of this and give it some time. Your children and her family members may still after all this still be uncomfortable and not accept this, be prepared and do what you must. It's your lives, isn't it?
But do keep a positive outlook and expect things to go in your favor as sooner than later, people will see the intent behind all this is the need for companionship. Also, on your part, do ensure your children that no one can replace their mother; though they are adults, they will still need this reassuring...Take it one step at a time...

All the best!
Asked on - Apr 12, 2024 | Answered on Apr 13, 2024
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But can i offer in live-in relation ship for some time if she agreed along with her family consent .please advise we are liking each other and she is matured enough to take self wise decision she can handle the situation well . please advise
Ans: Dear Ashok,
That is a decision for you to make after evaluating your respective family values. Since you are not living in isolation and you definitely seem to care about your near and dear ones, make sure that any decision that you make does not impact the sentiments of family members.
Of course, finally it is all up to you and the lady as it's your life and you both deserve to be happy.

All the best!
Asked on - Apr 15, 2024 | Answered on Apr 15, 2024
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Thanks Dear Ma'am i appreciate your advise in case i need any thing else i will write back .
Ans: Dear Ashok,
Thank you for your kind words.

All the best!

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I am a 53 year old man living alone away from family for 6 years. My wife has affair with her boyfriend and they are in physical relations also. Suddenly I got attracted to one female colleague. We became friendly. Suddenly that lady has stopped talking to me. Being a matured man I don't want anybody's life to be spoiled but not able to cope up with her ignorance to me. Please suggest how to cope up with the situation.
Ans: Hello Ajay

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time. It can be challenging to navigate through feelings of loneliness and betrayal, and it's natural to seek out companionship and connection.

It's important to remember that just because someone is friendly with you doesn't necessarily mean they're interested in pursuing a romantic relationship. It's possible that your colleague has simply realized that she doesn't feel the same way about you and is choosing to distance herself to avoid leading you on.

If you're struggling to cope with her sudden change in behavior, it may be helpful to take some time to reflect on your own feelings and motivations. Are you genuinely interested in this person as a friend, or were you hoping for something more? It's important to be honest with yourself and with others about your intentions.

If you do find that you have feelings for this person and are struggling to move on, it might be helpful to seek out support from a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with guidance and strategies for coping with feelings of rejection and moving forward in a healthy way.

Finally, it's important to remember that everyone has their own journey and experiences, and it's not your responsibility to try to save someone from their own problems or make them happy. Focus on taking care of yourself and cultivating healthy relationships with those who reciprocate your feelings and respect your boundaries.
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am 81 yrs old, married for the last 52 yrs. living in a joint family. Have had good working life in Indian and foreign companies for almost 45/50 yrs. Facing health problems for the last 18 yrs. Had angioplasty three times and open heart surgery once. Son and his wife looked after me so well and gave me another lease of life. Wife did not bother much because she is mostly either talking to her mother, who is 93 yrs old, and is not taken care of by her daughter in law because of their lack of understanding for the last many years. Both of them always live in their past and are in the habit of ruining their present My wife is always inclined towards her sisters and mother and never had good relations with her daughter in law and would always find fault with her. My daughter in law is a working professional and is very much sincere and devoted and took care of me always during my post many surgical operations. Kindly suggest what to do and change thinking of my wife at this late period of my life and live peacefully for the remaining period of my life.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your family life. It's understandable that you would like to live peacefully during the remaining period of your life. While changing someone's thinking and behavior can be difficult, there are a few steps you can consider taking to address the situation:

Open and honest communication: Arrange a calm and private conversation with your wife where you express your feelings and concerns. Let her know that you value her and your daughter-in-law, and that you wish for a peaceful and harmonious family life.
Seek professional help: If the communication between your wife and daughter-in-law has been strained for many years, it might be beneficial to involve a professional mediator or family therapist. A neutral third party can help facilitate discussions and provide guidance on resolving conflicts.
Encourage empathy and understanding: Try to foster understanding and empathy between your wife and daughter-in-law by encouraging them to see things from each other's perspectives. Emphasize the importance of family unity and the positive aspects of their relationship.
Focus on positive experiences: Remind your wife of the care and support she has received from your daughter-in-law over the years. Highlight the positive moments and express gratitude for the love and attention you've all received.
Encourage shared activities: Suggest engaging in shared activities or hobbies that can help strengthen the bond between your wife and daughter-in-law. This could be something as simple as going for walks together or participating in a hobby that they both enjoy.
Promote family harmony: Reinforce the importance of family unity and encourage everyone to work towards a peaceful and harmonious living environment. This may require compromises and understanding from all parties involved.
It's important to remember that change takes time and effort, and not all situations can be completely resolved. However, by fostering open communication, seeking professional guidance, and encouraging empathy, there is a possibility of improving the relationships within your family.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am 64 years old. Still workig in a Private company. My mother is 85 years old and she is with me since my father's death in 1985. I have lost my brother in an accident in 1985. I have three sisters all are living in my city only. My mother is almost bedridden. My wife, 62 years old is a heart patient and recently she has fallen and her knee got fractured. My wife and my mother never liked each other and always quarrel. My mother , being very week and helpless, always scolds my wife. We have made an arrangement with a catering guy who takes care of my mother's lunch. But dinner i have to prepare everyday which i have been doing for the last 20 years. My three sisters often come to visit my mother and give her fruits etc etc to please her. The problem is they agree to keep my mother in their homes once in while for two or three days but i have to beg them always when i have to go for any functions or to visit places , temples. But they never come forward to support me even if i am sick or if i have to attend any marriages, functions. This gives a scope for my wife to quarrel with me and many times we have cancelled our tickets just to be at home to look after my mother. Please tell me what to do do. I am also becoming old and want to take my wife with me to attend functions and to show her the places, as a husband. And my wife always quarrels with me that if at this age when we are able to walk and capable of going to places, when can we go ? I am not able to convince my three sister(elder one is already bedridden so i can not ask her )_ nor i am in a position to do justice to my wife's pleas. Please suggest me.
Ans: Hello Sir,
It's clear that you're facing a challenging situation, juggling responsibilities between your elderly mother, your wife, and your own desire for some personal time. Balancing these caregiving responsibilities while maintaining a healthy relationship with your wife can be emotionally and physically exhausting. It's essential to find a balance that works for everyone involved, including yourself. Seeking support from your extended family, exploring professional caregiving options, and prioritizing open communication can contribute to finding a more sustainable and harmonious caregiving arrangement. Have an open and honest conversation with your sisters about your situation, expressing your need for support. Emphasize the strain it's putting on your relationship with your wife and the importance of having some time for yourselves. Consider organizing a family meeting where you can discuss the caregiving responsibilities and come up with a plan that works for everyone. This can help distribute the load more evenly and address any concerns or misunderstandings Explore the option of hiring a professional caregiver or nurse to provide assistance to your mother. This could ease the burden on you and provide a more structured care plan for your mother's needsTake care of your own health and well-being. Work with your sisters to establish a schedule for them to take turns caring for your mother. This way, you can plan your personal time in advance and ensure that your wife's concerns are addressed. Ensure you are not neglecting your physical and mental health in the midst of caregiving responsibilities.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |965 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

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Sir, I am investing in mutual funds for my kid higher education. Amount needed after 15 years is 1.0 crore. I am investing 4000 rs each in the following schemes. 1. Kotak emerging equity 2. Axis Value fund 3. Parag parikh flexi cap 4. ICICI US Bluechip fund Please suggest should I continue with these. Will the US fund will eat away my capital gains?
Ans: Continuing with your current investment approach for your child's education is a proactive step. However, let's review your fund selection:

Kotak Emerging Equity: Offers growth potential by investing in emerging companies. Review its performance and consistency to ensure it aligns with your investment goals.
Axis Value Fund: Focuses on value investing principles. Evaluate its track record and potential for long-term growth.
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap: Known for its diversified approach across market segments. Assess its performance and consistency over time.
ICICI US Bluechip Fund: Invests in blue-chip US companies. While it offers exposure to international markets, consider its currency risk and tax implications.
Regarding the ICICI US Bluechip Fund, investing in international funds can provide diversification but may also entail currency and tax implications. Capital gains from international funds are subject to capital gains tax in India, similar to domestic funds. However, currency fluctuations can impact returns.

Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner to evaluate the impact of international investing on your portfolio and whether it aligns with your risk tolerance and investment objectives. Additionally, review the performance and potential risks of each fund regularly to ensure they remain suitable for your child's education goal.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |965 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2023Hindi
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I have two daughters and their age is 16 and 15 and i own 50 lakhs bank FD , 9 lakhs invested in MF me and my wife have invest 60 lakhs in share market and my age 51 year old. Can you plz suggest the best option for investment . for my future education of two kids and my and my wife upcoming old age( My family ) i have 3 lakhs mediclaim and have few LIC policies. I request you to give me the best advice or suggest the best investment for my growth of money and as a monthly income ( Home expenses ) plz reply
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Education Fund for Daughters: Since your daughters are nearing college age, consider setting aside a portion of your investments specifically for their education expenses. You may allocate a portion of your bank FDs and MF investments towards this goal, ensuring it grows over time to meet their educational needs.
Retirement Planning: As you and your wife approach retirement, it's essential to prioritize building a sufficient corpus to support your lifestyle in old age. Consider diversifying your investment portfolio to include a mix of equity, debt, and balanced funds, along with retirement-focused instruments like the National Pension System (NPS) or Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS).
Health and Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage for your family's medical needs. Additionally, review your existing LIC policies to ensure they align with your current financial goals and provide adequate coverage for your family's future needs.
Monthly Income: To generate regular income for your household expenses during retirement, consider investing in dividend-paying stocks, mutual funds with dividend options, or fixed income instruments like Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) or Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS).
Regular Review and Adjustment: Regularly review your investment portfolio to track its performance, make necessary adjustments, and ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance.
Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your family's specific financial situation and goals. Together, you can create a customized investment plan that addresses your needs for growth, income, and financial security.
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Hello Sir, myself Venkatesh aged 35 working in PSU current monthly takehome salary is Rs.1.20lac investing Rs.1,50,000/- in PPF per annum, havings corpus in fixed deposits around Rs.30lacs, investing in Mutual funds through monthly SIP of Rs.8000/- in three funds from past 3years 1.Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund-Reg(G)- 3K 2. Mirae Asset Large Cap Fund-Reg(G)- 3K 3. Axis Focused 25 Fund-Reg(G)- 2K. Now i want to invest another Rs.15,000/- per month for 18-20years and also advise by what amount i can stepup my existing portfolio for better returns.
Ans: Venkatesh! It's great to see your disciplined approach towards saving and investing. With your stable income and existing investments, adding Rs. 15,000 per month for 18-20 years can significantly boost your long-term wealth accumulation.

Considering your current portfolio, you may diversify further by adding funds from different categories to spread risk. Consider allocating the additional investment across different types of mutual funds such as mid-cap funds, small-cap funds, or international funds to enhance diversification.

As for stepping up your existing portfolio, you can consider increasing your SIP amounts gradually over time. Analyze the performance of your current funds and the potential for growth. Based on your risk tolerance and financial goals, you may consider increasing the SIP amounts in funds that have shown consistent performance and align with your investment objectives.

Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific financial situation and goals. Together, you can create a comprehensive investment plan to maximize returns and achieve your long-term financial objectives. Keep up the excellent work with your savings and investments!
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |965 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

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Please suggest 4 MF's for investment of Rs 10 k sip. It should be growth and open ended... Srinivasulu
Ans: Srinivasulu! Here are four mutual fund options for your SIP investment of Rs. 10,000 each:

Large Cap Fund: Invest in a large-cap fund for stability and growth potential. These funds typically invest in well-established, large companies with a track record of steady performance.
Multi-Cap Fund: Opt for a multi-cap fund to diversify across different market capitalizations, including large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks. These funds offer flexibility to capitalize on opportunities across the market spectrum.
Mid Cap Fund: Consider investing in a mid-cap fund for exposure to mid-sized companies with potential for higher growth. These funds can be more volatile but offer the opportunity for significant returns over the long term.
Flexi Cap Fund: Choose a flexi cap fund for the flexibility to invest across market capitalizations based on the fund manager's assessment of market conditions. These funds adapt to changing market dynamics and aim to deliver consistent growth.
Ensure you review the fund's performance, track record, and consistency before making your investment decision. It's also essential to stay invested for the long term and regularly review your portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals.

Remember, consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific financial situation and goals.
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Archana Deshpande  |24 Answers  |Ask -

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Dear Guru, I work in the technology space, and as with most careers, it is challenging and stressful. I work long hours (10-12hrs on avg). My problem is that I get disturbed sleep and am unable to get work related thoughts out of my mind wherein I even dream about solutions to work problems. I am afraid this is going to hurt my health and burn me out soon. Please advise on how I can detach from work to get a refreshing sleep.
Ans: Dear Bhawik!!

Pat yourself on the back for being a committed employee. The problems you have stated happen to most people who give their 100% to their work. Since you already know what it is to be 100% at work, it is time for you to give your 100% at home and to yourself.
You need to mentally detach yourself from work the moment you step out of the office building.
How will you do this? Adopt the following-
1. before leaving the office list out all the activities for tomorrow , prioritise them and mentally commit to them as tasks for tomorrow.
2. as soon as you exit the office building take three deep breaths , inhale and exhale deeply - this is called a transitioning breath which helps you transition from activity to another
3 establish rituals like listening to music( which you love) the moment you leave the building
4. if your transit form office to home takes some time, then practice being in the moment by looking around - the people, the trees, the sky, let all your senses be involved- use your eyes to see, nose to smell, ears to hear the sounds around, feel the breeze in your hair/ on your skin. This makes you feel 100% alive. Stay in the moment.
5. when you reach home, greet your loved ones with a smile
6. spend a little time doing nothing , just be
7. enjoy your meal mindfully
8.take a small walk after your meal
9.spend min 10 mins doing something that brings you joy, for me it is reading a book, what is it for you?
10.go for a guided "Yog Nidra" before sleeping.

Do not intellectualize these suggestions. Just do them. They are tried and tested methods for a proper demarcation between work and home life.
Best wishes for a life well lived and restful sleep..
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Sunil Lala  |178 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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